These are the Lessons Learned from Camping. Please, heed and enjoy!
Pee, it happens and not where it should. It could happen on the bed or behind a utility shed. If you can’t see people, while you are peeing, they can’t see you.
Spandex and fat people do not mix. Please refrain or buy a larger sized shirt.
Tattoos and hair are in inappropriate places on men and women :/
If you find monkey panties on the picnic table, do not assume that they are one of your children’s. Do not touch.
Cotton can fall from the sky like manna…pretty cool.
Parades can consist of 2 people.
Kazoos are not edible.
If you don’t pay attention, your children will go and set on the steps of strange people’s camper steps and make conversation.
When the magician asks the CHILDREN if they know what a “shot glass” is and then proceeds to explain…take your children and walk away.
When you find a beer bottle, in the woods, it is not smart to put your mouth on it and making “tooting” sounds.
Poop, it can shoot up. WARNING: Keep your mouth closed! (Think of the movie RV with Robin Williams….totally happened).
If you lose your black water tank top down the dump station, please tell someone immediately, as it will most likely cause a flood-o-poop.
When asked if you want a $1000 fine for dumping said crap, always say no.
When someone looks like the Fonz, don’t mention it to him cause he thinks he is hot.
Bugs can make awesome necklaces.
Camper toilets are a necessity.
Not everyone gets goosebumps when they pee.
Kids will cry.
Scrapes will happen.
Food will be totally consumed.
When the little girl at the Golden Corral says “you have too many kids,” just smile and nod.
ALWAYS accompany your, almost 9 yr old, to the buffet. He tends to pick up a sausage and then sling it back in the warmer with his hands.
If a random child gets hurt and you offer to cut off their leg to stop the pain, don’t be surprised if they do not return to your camper.
Bedtimes and Showers are not mandatory.
There is no shame in licking the cheese off the Doritos and then putting them back in the bag for your children (or husband) to eat.
It is always polite to leave the cream filling of the oreo, for your husband.
When your child says “be back in 10 minutes,” they really mean “I’ll be back in a few hours, gonna go.”
Tarp Man is scary. Always carry your pistol when he is close.
Camping and baseball produce extra saliva in your son’s mouth. They will spit any and everywhere. Camping……….its fun 🙂
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