Day 4 Social Media Fast. Today, I did not wake up angry. I was not clamoring for my phone, in fact, there was no time to even look at it. Reason being is the Lord brought to mind that I had not scanned/emailed some important documents.
I got up, got ready and headed downstairs to get the busyness of the day started. Hunter has been so good lately. He was all smiles and eating breakfast (by himself). Sadly, I was still an emotional basketcase from the night before, so I certainly wasn’t jolly.
Blessings Big and Small
He was…gracious…the Lord gave me so many little blessings today. I know Jesus knows how hurt and angry I am. Today, He showed me grace upon grace. Due to last night’s events, I called my friend and asked if he could counsel me today. I just needed to verbally have diarrhea and cry. He agreed.
Since I had bills to pay and errands to run, everything fit in perfectly. As an added bonus, our local consignment shop let me drop off a bag without an appointment! Got rid of a ton of stuff from my van. Then, I went to Sonic to get a drink. I was multitasking because there was an issue with a family member. By doing that, I left my card there! Didn’t even realize it until I drove back by and thought a chili cheese dog sounds good. Thank goodness for cravings cause I would have never remembered I left it there.
Pulled up, got my drink, pulled out, headed to my appointment. Got there early, so I called a preschool (ran into a fellow mom of a young one and she gave me the information). Then, I called the dentist to figure out finances with a situation. My friend got there and I just let it all hang out.
I have not had good luck counseling with pastors, in the past. Gunshy is one word used to describe how I feel about it. Luckily, he may be my pastor, but more importantly, he is my friend. He didn’t solve anything, he just listened. That’s all I needed. To get it out and to know someone is praying.
As an added blessing moment, I got a random streak of texts from my brother. Brother is almost 56 years old and he is a little “extra.” LOL. We have never had a relationship, but in the last year, the tides have changed. The Lord has been slowly rebuilding it and giving me what my heart has desired for as long as I can remember.
These texts were just funny. We banter back and forth. He is silly, I am silly, but in the end, he made a profound statement. Frankly, I want to cry when I even read it. He made a funny comment about how I am smart, regardless of what our 2 sisters think. I laughed and said “thanks for having my back.” He simply said, “All BS aside, you know I do.”
My heart, people. My heart. It almost exploded. I know he has my back, now. Sadly, I lost sight of that for many many (like 10 years many) years. For him to say that…I can’t even. Really, I just can’t. Seriously, I will cry.
Add those little things into some laughter at dinner, a gluten-free brownie, the laughter, and joy of my little boy, and a hot shower. This all helped ease me into a day of recovering from revelations from the night before.
Day 4 is in the books. It is getting easier. I’m not so angry. Honestly, I don’t even miss it. Actually, I am enjoying going around without carrying my phone everywhere. I run in and out with a little keychain wallet and that is it. Quite freeing.