Thoughts Swirling Through My Head
These are the Thoughts Swirling Through My Head. If you want to go Back to the Beginning, you can click there. I have been traveling many hours in vans, cars, planes, and buses. There have been 7 hospitals, in 3 states, that I have slept in…oh…and one nursing home. I have stood in more funeral homes than I would like to. Also, I have cared for and prepared the bodies of too many people I love. I have cried many tears.
It should be said that I have learned so much. Possibly that I have found the meaning of life through births and deaths. Sadly, I haven’t. I would be remiss if I didn’t say something about growing closer to Christ. Maybe that I have found the secret to peace in the midst of chaos. Yep, haven’t felt or done those things either.
All The Things
This year, I vowed that I would not spend ANY time in hospitals, nursing homes, doctors’ offices, or funeral homes. Guess what…that vow flew out the window as soon as it could. Panic ensued when my mom said that daddy might need a “procedure.” After he had a stroke and then quadruple bypass the following year…he needs no one to touch him because he is fine.
Then, Hunter got worse and we traveled for answers. We got our answers. Now, I travel monthly just so he can receive the medications he needs. Another person, whom I love deeply, is facing the battle of her life. All I can do is to cook and send cards or call. Another dear person to my heart had tongue cancer. Oh, then there are 2 people that were in my “tribe” growing up and they both have Alzheimer’s.
Hits Just Keep On Coming
I mean, seriously, it goes on and on and on. In the face of it all…all the travels…all the tears, I have seen the face of Jesus. We have argued, a lot (by we, I mean me). I have cried so many tears but then I am reminded of this verse:
When I read that, I realize that He has not left me or forsaken me. He has the perfect provisions in mind for every single moment that something comes up. I have learned how to trust Him, most times. Also, I have learned how strong my family is and how protective they are of their tribe. Lastly, I have learned to let go…for the most part.
So, with all that being said
Why does it take a life-altering condition, a life-threatening disease, an accident, or a death to fully tell the ones that you love how you feel about them?
Take a moment and call, text, write a letter to someone. Tell them that you love them. Tell them what they mean to you. Don’t let another moment pass. If you need to forgive someone, forgive them. If you need to hug someone, hug them.
Life is too short.
Treat those around you with love and respect. Quit the judgment, quit the lecturing, quit the hate. Speak with kindness. Who cares if that person is gay, straight, black, white, male, female, family, friend, someone you do not like, or acquaintance. The Lord places every single human you see, in your visual sight, for a reason.
Have you ever thought about that? It is all purposeful to Him. How are you using that knowledge? I set out to do better, but then satan whispers in my ear. My goal has been to retrain my thoughts and words.
Stop focusing on the negative and giving Satan more power than what he needs. I’ve been rewording things in a positive manner.
Life is but a vapor.
Today, I got a call from a friend. We have been friends for about 10 years or so. I was incredibly close to her daughter. Her daughter chose to end her life a few months back. I had the privilege of preparing my friend’s body for her mom and children to see.
That was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I still struggle…but those pains will stay within me for only Jesus to see and deal with.
However, today, she called to tell me she loved me. She thanked me for all the years that I have been there for her and her family. I heard how special I was, in her eyes. What a precious thing to hear.
A Long Time Ago
I found out a friend of mine…her mom…had cancer and was dying. Now, we all went to church together growing up. Parents, kids, we were all friends. One of her daughters was at my wedding. The other daughter came, as well. I love her family.
When I found out, though I had not talked to her in 10 years, I called. First, I spoke with her husband. It had been a long time, so I used my maiden name. Of course, he remembered me. I explained why I was calling. I got the privilege to speak to Frieda and fully tell her how much I loved and appreciated her when I was growing up.
Months later, she died. I thought no one knew of that phone call and that her husband was so grief-stricken…it didn’t really matter at that point. I went to the visitation. When I saw Buck, her husband, he looked at me and cried. He hugged me and then told me how much he thought of me. He said that that phone made Frieda’s day. That he could never thank me enough for my words to her during that time.
What took 10 minutes out of my day meant the world to her and her husband. That’s what it is all about. Step out of self and reach out to someone from church, from your childhood, an estranged family member or friend.
Reach out to 3 people a day. Write a letter, send a text, call, send an email to someone that you love. Tell them 3 things you love or admire about them. God will bless you and you will be blessed.