Harsh Reality of Raising Kids with FASD
This is a tough post to write but so many thoughts on the Harsh Reality of Raising Kids with FASD are twirling through my head. Also, both of these kids have Reactive Attachment Disorder. Again, in FASD and RAD, they are on opposite ends of the spectrum. It has been almost 13 years since 2 of our adoptions. We met these children in the spur of the moment.
In the Beginning
One was bouncy, wild-eyed, busy, and inquisitive. The other was withdrawn, quiet, and shy. One could not keep their hands to themselves and was very affectionate to everyone. The other was content standing behind the social worker’s leg. One wanted to touch all the things, eat all the things, and do all the things. The other wanted to lay in my bed and watch a movie…without speaking or being touched.
Their Early Lives
2 children, from the same mom, living in the same environment, removed for the same reason. Trauma. PTSD. Abuse. Neglect. Alcohol. Drugs. All the bad things that you can imagine done to 2 unassuming children who didn’t ask to be born. Yet, here we are.
What a birth mom, 2 birth dads, and a set of grandparents placed upon these children, our family is dealing with. There are days when it is too much. Lately, it has been too much. I’m so tired. My other kids are tired. Big Daddy is tired.
All the Things
Now, I know what you are thinking. Is she in therapy? What about under a doctor’s care? Have you tried medication? Food? Yes. This child has been in therapy for many years. Yes. I have made sure this child is under a doctor and psychiatrists care. Yes. This child has taken a multitude of medications, been off them, back on them, supplements, etc. Yes. We have worked on food. Had this child in church. Counseled. Loved. Supported. Advocated. All the things.
I simply do not know what to do. One thing I do know is that I feel defeated, broken-hearted, angry, confused, and a lot of other emotions. My other kids are on edge all the time. We have lost friendships, churches, and sacrificed many things for this child. What more can we do? What am I missing?
Beginning till Now
One child started out on target, advanced is even a word I would use. As time has gone on, this child never has moved past that of a 5-10-year-old. It’s like the mind has stopped yet flows between those ages.
The other child started out developmentally delayed. Learning disabilities, even school was a struggle. Everything was just hard and slow. Very immature for this child’s age. Now, as this child gets older, this child seems to slowly be catching up. I see progress in some areas, maintaining in some areas, and then the area of memory is still a struggle. Still, there is progress in one and worsening in the other.
All suggestions need to be kind. As well as, prayer. Prayer is REALLY something that we all welcome. I will not tolerate anything negative said about my parenting style of my children.