Faith Journey, Foster to Adopt ~ International ~ Intrafamily Adoption

Psalm 30 & Proverbs 30

Psalm 30 & Proverbs 30

Psalm 30 & Proverbs 30

Here are my thoughts on the verses Psalm 30 & Proverbs 30.  Today, I had to grab my little Bible and read while I was waiting to pick up the kids.  It has been an emotionally charged day.

A friend went to be with the Lord.  Such a bright light in a dark world.  This woman is the parent I want to be.  She never said anything other than praises for her son.  When his name was mentioned she would say “Oh, he is WONDERFUL.”

Frannie…you were loved, a bright light, and an inspiration to others.  She will be missed.

Psalm 30

A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple.

I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
    You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
    and you restored my health.
You brought me up from the grave, O Lord.
    You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!

    Praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
    but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
    but joy comes with the morning.

When I was prosperous, I said,
    “Nothing can stop me now!”


Verse 6 sticks in my throat.  I remember coming home from Ethiopia in October 2010.  Jet lag was a thing man….  Was.  A.  Thing.  We were scheduling our flight in December 2010 to go and pick him up.  The first trip was to formally adopt him in ET.  Then, the second trip was to bring him home.

A few days after we returned home, I went to the mailbox.  I’m not even sure we had completely unpacked.  The letter I got sent me to my knees in the driveway.  It was the first, of three, denial letters.

The US was denying us our son.  We were not going to be able to travel and our adoption was futile.  People told us that we should just forget about him. Take the money as a loss.  He would never remember us.  It was over.  The US said no.  They would not change their minds about anything.

Transitions and Changes

We refused to give up.  Though my depression sat on my chest with the heaviness of a herd of elephants, we were not going to leave our son there.  I put the kids in school.  Then, I got a full-time job.  We hired an immigration attorney, the best in the US.  All the paperwork was done…again.  We got a new home study agency.  Our plan, if nothing else worked, was for me to move to ET for 2 years with our kids.  After that, he would be a US citizen and we would come home.  Big Daddy would send us money.

During This Time

We prayed.  I watched God move.  The days I would drive 45 minutes to work, I would hear the song that talks about verse 6.  It is always darkest before the dawn and JOY comes in the morning.  Therefore, I would weep the whole way there.

But God.  He saw my plight.  My heart was broken.  He was the only one we turned to.  But God.  Jude came home in December 2011.  Right before Christmas.  One day, I’ll write about it.  Sadly, 8 years later, it is still too fresh.

Weeping may come in the night, but JOY comes in the morning.

Section 2

Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain.
    Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.

I cried out to you, O Lord.
    I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
“What will you gain if I die,
    if I sink into the grave?
Can my dust praise you?
    Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me.
    Help me, O Lord.”

11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!


^^^^^Those verses…that is my journey with Jude.  Every single verse.  I felt He turned away from me.  My depression overtook me.  I cried while I slept and breathed.  In short, I wanted to die.  He heard me.  Mercy was bestowed.  My mourning turned into dancing.  I will forever sing His praises.^^^^^

Proverbs 30

The Sayings of Agur

1 The sayings of Agur son of Jakeh contain this message.  I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God.

I am too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense.
I have not mastered human wisdom, nor do I know the Holy One.

Who but God goes up to heaven and comes back down?  (And) Who holds the wind in his fists?  Who wraps up the oceans in his cloak?  (And) Who has created the whole wide world?  What is his name—and his son’s name? Tell me if you know!

Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection.


I love these verses.  Interestingly enough, here Agur says that he is tired.  Worn out.  Stupid.  Sadly, lacking common sense.  No wisdom.  To begin with, how many times have I felt like that (ie today)?  It was very clear that I am not God.  He is the only one who has gone to heaven and back to Earth.  How mighty he is to hold the wind in his fists? Wraps that ocean in a cloak…I can’t even wrap my mind around that.

Section 2

Do not add to his words, or he may rebuke you and expose you as a liar.

O God, I beg two favors from you; let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.  Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”  And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.

10 Never slander a worker to the employer, or the person will curse you, and you will pay for it.


Verse 8 screaming all of the YES LORD, YES!  To summarize, just keep me honest.  Just give me enough to satisfy my needs.  Help me distinguish between needs and wants.  Let me always praise Your Name!

Section 3

11 Some people curse their father and do not thank their mother.
12 They are pure in their own eyes, but they are filthy and unwashed.
13 They look proudly around, casting disdainful glances.
14 They have teeth like swords and fangs like knives.  (And) They devour the poor from the earth and the needy from among humanity.

15 The leech has two suckers that cry out, “More, more!” There are three things that are never satisfied—no, four that never say, “Enough!”:

16 the grave, the barren womb, the thirsty desert, the blazing fire.


Verses 11-14 need to be blazed all over my house.  The issues that I face with a couple of my kids is exhausting.  Then, I think of Frannie.  Above all, her love for her Sam was one that I just want a fraction of.  I know I love my kids.  However, the way she loves him…it is in a different realm. God can make a change.  These kids can thank their mother and their father!  They will see the plank in their eyes instead of focusing on the speck in others.

Section 4

17 The eye that mocks a father and despises a mother’s instructions will be plucked out by ravens of the valley and eaten by vultures.

18 There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don’t understand:
19 how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.

20 An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?”

Section 5

21 There are three things that make the earth tremble—no, four it cannot endure:
22 a slave who becomes a king, an overbearing fool who prospers,
23 a bitter woman who finally gets a husband, a servant girl who supplants her mistress.

24 There are four things on earth that are small but unusually wise:
25 Ants—they aren’t strong, but they store up food all summer.
26 Hyraxes—they aren’t powerful, but they make their homes among the rocks.
27 Locusts—they have no king, but they march in formation.
28 Lizards—they are easy to catch, but they are found even in kings’ palaces.


Honestly, this is pretty straightforward but also thought-provoking.  For instance, ants, though small are strong.  Hyraxes make their home high on rocks that most animals cannot get up.  Then, there are the locusts who march.  Finally, the lizards are quick and quiet.  Maybe these are attributes that I need.

I need to be strong to not only talk about my faith but walk it out.  Have the Lord place me in that Strong Tower and high up on the rocks.  By the way, I march to the beat of Jesus.  Be swift in all that I do and don’t brag.

Section 6

29 There are three things that walk with stately stride—no, four that strut about:
30 the lion, king of animals, who won’t turn aside for anything,
31 the strutting rooster, the male goat, a king as he leads his army.

32 If you have been a fool by being proud or plotting evil, cover your mouth in shame.

33 As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding, so stirring up anger causes quarrels.


Back to the lion and having it roar inside me!

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