Suicide Prevention

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

Peace in the Midst of the Storm **TRIGGERING POST**

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

My friend, Leigh Ann, left this world before her allotted time almost 2 years ago.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about her.  Honestly, what I could have done differently.  Last night, however, I finally received Peace in the Midst of the Storm.

Dream 1

When I went to bed, this particular night, I dreamt 2 big dreams.  The first dream I had was horrific and had nothing to do with my friend.  It was a trauma type of dream that came about because I am in the middle of trauma therapy.  It’s just how things work out in my mind and process things.  Sadly, I don’t remember much about it.  Just that it relates to issues I’m facing to this day on some past trauma that I’m walking through in order to find healing.

I woke up with a start at about 2:45 am.  My back was tense, my jaw was tense, and my head hurt so bad.  I got up and got some Tylenol, drank some water and then cuddled with Big Daddy.  I finally went back to sleep, still struggling and fearful of what I would find when I closed my eyes.

Dream 2

Once I fell back to sleep, a whole different narrative was spoken through my dream.  Today, when I close my eyes, I see myself walking into some sort of room.  There were some old-time hymns playing in the background.  Up ahead of me, I could see Leigh Ann walking towards me with this giant smile on her face.  She was glowing.  Her hair was shoulder length and bleach blonde, like when we first met.  She had on a white shirt and some sort of pants.  What caught my eye was that she had this red cloak draped about her shoulders.

She walked toward me and we embraced.  There was not a word spoken.  As I was hugging her, we were swaying to the hymns, I look up and see her mother standing behind her smiling.  Peace.  The dream was peace.  It was also clarity.

My Struggle

I have struggled with why I couldn’t save her.  Why didn’t she just call me?  Go to her mom’s house?  How did I not feel her hurting?  I, however, never questioned her salvation.  We sat at the park, in the dirt when she was saved and it was a beautiful moment of innocence and surrender.

Finally

After 2 years, she has come to me and I can physically see she is draped with the blood of Christ.  She is clean, glowing, and happy.  Peace.  It radiates throughout her smile.  Today, I am okay because she is with her Creator.  I pray that the image never leaves me.  What beauty and peace I feel in knowing she is at peace.  I saw joy in her face.

I miss her. Yet, I am thankful I have my answer.  You are loved.  Worthy.  A child of the King.  Seek help!  People do love you!

Help is Available

Speak with a counselor today

1-800-273-8255 or text 9-8-8

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