Depression, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Emotions From This Week’s Story

Emotions From This Week's Story

Emotions From This Week’s Story

My Emotions From This Week’s Story are all over the place. I have loved this woman since before I knew she existed and came into my life. When I met her, she was like my other half. The fun we have had, the tears we have cried, the food we have cooked, and the yardsales we have done. My goodness. Shared histories, life stories, so much of my adulthood has had her and her family in it.

I have been holding her hand for almost a quarter of a century. Or maybe she has been holding my hand. How about we hold each other’s hands! When one is up, the other is down. Then when one is down, the other is up. We say inappropriate things when we are both down and bleach our homes. It’s a thing and our thing, so why mess with what works.

How We Operate

When we are both up, we are a bit hard to handle. We giggle like schoolgirls, bake, talk, and fix the world’s problems. I love all of our history. It has shaped me into who I am today. It’s like we can read each other’s thoughts. We feel when things are not correct, and we call each other out, in love, when we are screwing up.

Life was good until it wasn’t for a season.

A Difficult Time

There was a moment or decade that we struggled. That was a hard chunk of time because I missed my friend. I knew she was struggling, but there was nothing I could do. Letting her go and not be a daily part of each other’s lives was the hardest thing ever.

Things happened, as you can read in her story. Yet, there is so much of her story that had to be left out for a variety of reasons. One day, she will share it for all to hear, and it will be used for God’s glory. The strength she has exuded has been that of Christ.

Even in the darkest moments, she knew that she was His daughter—a daughter of the King. I cannot adequately articulate how proud I am of where she is now compared to where she was 20+ years ago. Or even last year!

Getting the Call

When I received the call that something had happened, I did not hesitate. I rushed to the hospital, and I stood by her side. There were moments when I fixed her hair, cleaned her up, and whispered in her ear about things that she would find funny. I prayed over her. With her family, we all prayed. We didn’t know if she would live or die that day.

Anger ensued as a particular person was there, and I decided to “use my words” with this human. It wasn’t received well, threats were made, and I stood my ground for my friend. He was no longer going to hurt her. Her family was rallying around her. I was there, where I should have been, and we were all going to protect her.

That we did.

The Days Following

Man, they were hard for her and her family. She woke up and saw the people she loved most. She and I talked like we had not missed a beat. Things were discussed. Plans were in place. She had a system, and everyone was working towards helping her. It was amazing. God is so good.

There have been a couple of relapses where she didn’t use the plan. Yet, this time, she made a call. She wanted to live. Yet, for a moment, she yielded to the internal pain of all that had happened in her life. It has been unspeakable the pain that her family went through. Yet, her pain was 1000 times more. In her right mind, she would have never chosen this. She was sick and needed help. The first time help almost didn’t arrive in time. The relapses, however, SHE made the call for help.

She Has Come So Far

It seems like a lifetime ago that all this happened, but it wasn’t a lifetime. It is still fresh and raw in my mind. This is a situation that I still have not fully allowed myself to feel because if I did, I would explode. Now, we have talked about it, some, but not much.

She calls when she has a bad day, and we work through it. She has a fantastic husband and bonus daughter now. She has three grown children who still like to come over and eat and play games. Sometimes she must be reminded of how strong she is and how proud we all are that she chose to live.

Her relationship with Jesus is incredible, and she is a strong prayer warrior. She is in counseling, seeking help, in church, and reaching out to those she loves and feels safe. Every day is day that is filled with blessings and challenges.

For Me

I am SO glad she lived. My life has been better with her in it. I never want anyone to feel the pain and desperation that she felt. Never do I want someone to yield. Not even for one moment. I can barely breathe when I think about those times. She is loved by me and loved by her husband and children. Her family loves her.

I have to go and cry now. My feelings are feeling things.

My friend, I love you.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

Domestic Abuse Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.