Setting Boundaries VS Putting Up Walls
Setting Boundaries VS Putting Up Wall is something that I struggle with because I, sometimes, live in fear. I am choosing, now, to NOT to live in fear because fear is a liar. Honestly, I am so tired of living under the judgement of others. Let me just tell you something…oh my word. I’m fixing to use my words and all of them. This may not be pretty but sometimes you just have to let it out.
I’m gonna have to take a few minutes and watch a Chopped episode. My brain is moving faster than my fingers and the emotions are strong. Let’s just say I am completely and totally over it. A change is coming and it may take till Jesus returns, but by goodness, I am done!
Let’s Try This Again
I am not a people person. Yet, I’m empathetic (so I’ve been told) and I have a heart to help others. Those that are unseen, so to speak. People that other people snub their noses at because they don’t dress/live/act “appropriately.” I’m just saying…those are my people. I see them, I feel them, I understand them.
Their problems, I feel deep within my soul. The look in their eyes can tell a thousand stories and they are just yearning to tell that story. They simply want to be loved, accepted, and NOT judged. I CHOOSE to love, accept, and to not judge them. Honestly, I want to meet them where they are currently at and walk into their world. It is an honor to step into their stories.
What a hard realization that most people, in this world, do not think the same way. I just don’t get it. How can you not love and SEE the people around you? The unseen, the less than, the “you are not in my circle therefore you do not exist” people.
For the love of all that is holy…Jesus’ second greatest commandment is to LOVE OTHERS. Matthew 22: 36-40 clearly states, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
The Things that Have Happened
I cannot and will not go into detail on the struggles we have had this summer. It has hit me hard that not everyone thinks like I think and love as Jesus says to love. What they want is to steal, kill, and destroy my joy. My joy is my family. They are all I think of and commit too 100% every minute of everyday.
For anyone to presume to know what happens in my home shows their narcissistic personality in full bloom. The things we have been accused of and the mud we have been drug through is astonishing. I really thought 2020 couldn’t get worse…it can. Trust me.
So Much Loss and Pain
The loss and pain was completely preventable. Let’s try something radical. If you think something is wrong with a friend or their family…TALK TO THEM. Ask how you can help them, pray for them with no details, listen to them cry. Clean their house, run an errand, cook a meal. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Radical, ya think?
Or you could go the other route of gossiping, being deceitful, frightening your children, lie, manipulate. Just because you might have money with your 2.5 kids and .5 pets…driving your nice cars with your paid off houses, does not mean my family is any less.
We do not deserve the shit you have drug us through. All you see is a tired mama of many kids who “look” normal. What you don’t know is what all we have dealt with and lived through.
Well, our outcome has been standing on Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight your battle. You simply have to be quiet.” I was quiet. Lots of tears, lots of reflection. There was a period of hiding, a valley of severe depression and anxiety, another medical condition for a child due to the STRESS so called “friends” put us through. Thank you for that, honestly. It’s been the most fun.
We have been validated. Proven to be good, loving parents, found out that our family does not need any outside assistance to thrive. Honestly, with friends like I have had…who needs enemies? We have discovered several of our “friends” are simply wolves in sheeps clothing. Yet, now we know.
Choices Moving Forward
I will not hide. My children will not hide. We will parent as we have for 25 years until the Lord calls us home. I will not be afraid and neither will my children. When I get my Spirit filled feeling about someone, I will trust it and I will teach my kids what I have learned. I pray that that type of wisdom and discernment is something the Lord gives them.
Honestly, I knew better with these people, but I wanted to be wrong. I wanted a friend. Someone who would listen and love us through it all. What I got was satan reincarnated and the judgy nature of those people. When bad things happen, the first person who physically showed up was my mama, my Oak.
This woman. She blew in like a whirlwind. Then, she ironed out the people, in my house, that needed to be ironed out. Next, she found me and that hug…I melted into her and I felt her love permeate every single molecule of my body.
She gently walked me upstairs and we both laid down and talked. I cried and she sat in silence and rubbed my hair like when I was a little girl. She gave me permission to wallow for a day, but tomorrow I have to get up and wash my face and face the day. There will be no hiding for her little girl.
She loves me. Unconditionally. She sees me. Truthfully. She knows all that has happened, yet…she loves the ones who have hurt her baby so deeply. If I am 1/2 the mama she is when I grow up, my kids will be blessed. I am blessed by her.
A Few True Friends
We discovered those who would stand by us and those who judge us. Prayer warriors surrounded us and kept us safe. We stood before all and God clean and came out on the other side with no truth coming from the claims and lies.
These people may never answer for what they did on this side of heaven, but rest assured…Jesus has it written in His book. Each of these people will stand before the throne listening to him read their story from beginning to end. They will answer for it.
I choose self-care. Pet a cat (or 12), bake, eat candy, smile more, block people on social media, keep loving on the “less of these” people, wash my hands, wear a mask, parent my kids, love my husband, and love my God. My enemies cannot hurt me because God goes before me, after me, and stands on each side of me. If you want me and my family, you must go through Him first.
Good luck to ya.