Happy Birthday Paige
My sweet girl. Happy Birthday Paige. Oh, how I miss you and your fire. This picture warms my heart so completely. That is a the smile of a sober young lady with so much life ahead of her. Holding 2 of her 3 children. Jackson was a year old and Hunter was freshly born. This is the epitome of her life before addiction took back over.
Addiction is a horrible thing. If you want to read more about how it has affected the lives of all, you can head over to my sister’s blog, Mom by Proxy and God’s Grace. She eloquently states what it is like raising her grandchildren while her children are in the swirl of addiction and incarceration.
She is feisty, loud, and bigger than life. She has always been my little doll baby, yet her choices still make me scratch my head. She certainly has my heart. We have been through a lot. I’ve had to do a lot of things in order to protect others. I had to do so while looking into her beautiful brown eyes.
Her voice… “Aunt B, look at me and tell me I’m a bad mom. Aunt B. Look at me.” I just wanted to wrap my arms around her because she is NOT a bad mom. When she is sober, she is little miss Suzy homemaker. She cooks, cleans, plays with, loves, and drove a mini van. She did all of this while working tirelessly.
Sadly, addication took over her life. She was a shell of who she used to be and we were afraid that she would die. Hard decisions had to be made. Her strength, though, throughout it all was amazing.
She allowed us to raise her son. She allowed us to adopt him. She has thanked us for adopting him. It is so impossibly hard yet I know this is the path that the Lord had for us and for him. She gave him life, through birth. Then, she laid her heart on the line and made the horrible decision to terminate her rights and allow us to raise him. In essence, she gave him life twice.
Even now, she has protected him. She protected him in court and is ready to rumble anytime I say I had a hard time with the school or a doctor. Honestly, with his medical issues, she has been the one that said I will give or donate any and everything I have in order to help him.
A mother’s love personified.
I don’t know what life will look like when she comes home. Our family dynamics are so weird. We giggle and say that the kids will pit us against each other. “Well, Mama Paige said I could do XYZ.” Paige laughed and she was like little do they know, we have worked out every scenario and we are always on the same page.
My prayer is that she can remain sober and a huge part of her kids’ lives. They need her and she needs them. There are so many hurdles but all I can do is trust that the Lord has the best in mind for everyone.
For now, I simply love her completely, thank her for her sacrifice, pray for her safety, and prepare for her future.
Happy birthday sweet girl. I love you.