All Things About Me
All Things About Me: My name is Brandi. I have been married to Big Daddy for over 25 years. We have 7 children here on this fine Earth. Also, we have 2 in heaven and 2 who have our hearts. One of our children married a hairy-legged boy. I guess that means I’m a mother-in-law *gasp*.
Bug is married to the hairy-legged boy, Ben. Peach has just finished college. Boo is beginning college. Gigi will start college in January. Catfish is in 8th grade. Jude is in 7th grade. Kid started Kindergarten. He has a condition called Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome, which is a 1 in 10 million condition.
We have lots of animals. Chip (recently died), Karl, and Karen are our cats. There is also Inez and Joan (neither are mine but I named them and fed them). They were dumped and both pregnant. Now, Inez is a mom of 5. Maureen, Chippette, Linda, Jennifer, and Troy. Joan is still “with children.” Since they don’t seem to want to leave, we will do the responsible thing and get them spayed as soon as the quarantine is lifted. Francis, Lola, and Ted are our dogs. They were all rescued. We also have a slew of chickens.
Karl is a lover. He is fat yet quick. There is not a fondness for mice as he would rather purr and get all up in your grill. Karen is sleek and feisty. She was quite feral when she came but I have tamed her crazy. She is a honey but is not fond of other people, small animals, or grass. Karen is a mouser and eats all the bugs in the house.
Francis is our pitbull mix. She showed up on our doorstep the winter we moved into this house. She was broken, tattooed, beaten, and sad. Now…she is the best animal we have ever had. Seriously an amazing dog. Lola was rescued from a puppy mill. She is a recovering poop eater and she learned to bark within 3 mths of moving in. Her back legs are longer than her front legs, she has no fur on her tail or ears. She sort of looks like a cross between a bat and a mouse. Her head is quite large compared to the rest of her body. Ted was rescued from the shelter. He is his own animal. Ted does not like men, children, or anything that moves. He does, however, like to lick himself incessantly.
My Back Story
I am an adoptive mom. Our first 3 children were born under the heart and 4 born in the heart. We have adopted from the foster care system, Ethiopia, and then we adopted a family member. They are all my joy. I enjoy coke, cheese, and soup. We love to travel.
I have my master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling. Also, I am a retired homeschooler of my 7. I graduated 4 of my children and the younger children will started school in the fall, which is a new venture for all of us.
Jesus is the jam in my jelly roll. My theme verse is Romans 4:18a “Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing.”
Things that I Love:
Spring and Fall
The smell of freshly baked bread.
Sniffing the hairs off of a baby.
Things that Fascinate Me:
Women who wear white….I just want to walk up and put my giant, dirty hand prints right on their behinds.
Women who have an arsenal of objects in their t-tiny purses….hairspray, 500 lipsticks, band-aids, candy, a change of clothes (just in case they are wearing white), Tylenol, diapers, books, notebooks, activities for kids, weapons of mass destruction
High heeled shoes (while walking correctly in them)….apparently, I walk like an old farm horse when I try to wear them.
Women with perfect makeup and perfect hair…..would not smear or sway in a hurricane.
Different religions….religion is for man, a relationship is for believers. Let’s quit nitpicking and hug.
Fleas…they can live up to 100 days; can produce 400-500 offspring, and can jump 150 times its own height.
Fake people…..dude how do you maintain and stay sane?
Belly buttons….what purpose do they serve outside of the womb?
Things that Confuse Me:
Hair in inappropriate places (ie big toes, ear lobes, armpit)
Teenage girls (ie hair flipping, giggling for no reason and the next minute crying uncontrollably)
Grits….are they a potato, rice? And what are their purpose?
Double jointed people…that is more of a fascination than confusion.
Why boys enjoy their scent so much that they will not bathe or use deodorant.
Corn dogs….why do you want fried bread stuck in a hotdog and then a stick crammed in the end. Seriously?
Skinny people. Frankly, I just want to slap them. Sad, I know.
Insurance companies….why do we pay our premiums, then have to make a claim, and then get dropped because of said claim.
Teeth whitener. It frightens me.
Tube tops…..never wear past the age of 5.
Spandex…..who wants to purposefully sweat?
Chocolate covered fruit. Chocolate should not be ruined in this fashion.
Chinese finger toy.
Repeat offenders. Tip: if you break the law and the law catches you, chances are the next time you break the law, they will catch you again.
Emotions…they are confusing and they suck pond water.
Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org