Life or Something Like It

Thoughts on This Week’s Story

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence


Thoughts on This Week’s Story

My Thoughts on This Week’s Story are hard.  Just straight-up hard.  This sweet girl, when you meet her, she is SO quiet.  Her face flushes when you say anything.  She covers her mouth when she eats.  Also, she has a hard time making eye contact and she never raises her voice.  Such uncertainty.  You can feel it when you are in her presence.

The first time I met her, she ran from me :).  Then I made her stop and told her a few Truths about herself and she cried.  Eventually, she started writing and releasing so many things that have plagued her.  Lies that she started to believe were replaced with Truth.  She has a long way to go.

Making Contact

I try to regularly check in with her, just to see how she is doing.  One night, I was surprised to find that she initiated contact and reached out to me.  It is so important to respond to people who are struggling with depression.  I was so proud of her.  That may or may not be the only time she does that, but she did it this time and I was able to “unmuddy” the waters in her head and heart.

Remember to call, text, send a card, FB message, or anything to make contact with a person that you know is struggling with depression or anxiety.  It is so important for them to know that they are not a burden to you.  They “want” to reach out, but something in them tells them not to do it because that would cause undue stress on another person.

You Don’t Have to Have the Answers

Know that your job is not to fix this person.  It is simply to listen with a nonjudgmental ear.  Let them cry on your shoulder, pray over them, love them unconditionally.  Do not tell them they are crazy or threaten to go and beat up whomever they are struggling with.  Honestly, do not tell them to pray more or love Jesus more and He will fix it.  He will fix it, in His time and in His way.

Jesus loves her (and you) right where she (you) are!  All depressed and sad…He loves you in the state that you are so just rest in that.  I do tell her that because I want her to know that her moods are not dependent on Jesus’ love for her.

What I See

I see so much in her.  It’s like when I look at her, I see all these bright dots.  One day, the Lord will bring all the dots together and she is going to shine brighter than what they are shining now.  She is in college.  Also, she has a job that she has able to maintain and do well at.  She has a focus in life.

I cannot even begin to describe how proud I am of her.  It isn’t what she has accomplished or what she is doing.  I’m proud of the fact that she breathes in and out every single day.  She chooses life.  Reaching out for help, learning how to communicate, making better eye contact.

She simply brings me joy.  Her beginning WILL NOT dictate her present or her future!


If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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My Story Will Empower Me

Business Side of Life

Before the Wrath Review and Giveaway

Before the Wrath Review and Giveaway

This is Before the Wrath Review and Giveaway.  To enter, please like this post by September 11, 2020 for a chance to win!  Good luck.


While scholars debate the timing of the Rapture, the world has lost why this event is prophesied to occur in the first place; knowledge that was once understood by those in the first century. Today, researchers in the Middle-East have rediscovered ancient anthropological evidence from the time of Christ that reveals exactly how and why the Rapture must occur; unveiling new biblical insight that will reignite hope for believers and prepare the world for what’s coming.

But concerning the times and the seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you. For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-2


Product category: documentary
Campaign focus: home entertainment (Blu-ray, DVD and digital)
FYI: Theatrical release: 3/3/20
Genre: documentary, drama, inspirational
Rating: NR
Run time: 1:24:17
Studio: Ingenuity Films
Starring: narrated by Kevin Sorbo (GOD’S NOT DEAD, SOUL SURFER, HERCULES)


#1-selling documentary DVD on Amazon for three straight months.
#4-selling film in America during a time in April behind JUMANJI, 1917 and FROZEN 2.
#1-selling film on Christian Cinema, even after three months.
Nominated for multiple film awards including best documentary and cinematography.


  • Biblical Studies
  • Prophecy
  • Faith
  • Miracles
  • Hope
  • Salvation
  • Belief
  • Communion
  • Sacrificial love


  • Available on Blu-ray, DVD & digital
  • Narrated by Kevin Sorbo
  • #1-selling documentary DVD on Amazon for three straight months.


  • Bible stories
  • Documentaries

My Perspective of the Film

This was a very interesting movie about the second coming of Christ, the Rapture, and how prophecy has foretold it in the Scriptures. What I learned was that when Jesus foretold his second coming to his disciples, it was based on Galilean culture and their wedding rituals. Furthermore, the film goes on to discuss how little pastors are teaching and preaching about the Rapture and prophecy. However, with nearly 30% of the Bible devoted to prophesy, only about 2% of sermons preached in the US discuss the topic.

The statistics in the movie shows only a small remnant of believers today hold out hope that the red letters of Jesus are true and that He will come back for his beloved. Honestly, I really learned things I didn’t know about the rapture and believe this film is very enlightening. because it shows us the meaning behind Jesus’ words that his followers would understand in the context of their culture.

Social Corner:

Before the Wrath Trailer

Official Website

The Official Facebook Site

Official Instagram

Other Posts

“Take Back Your Life” a 40 day Devotional Journey by Levi Lusko


Suicide Prevention

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Suicide Prevention Strategies and Resources | Healthy Franklin County


Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Suicide is a topic that is near to my heart.  This month is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. First, if you think that someone you know is in danger of harming themselves, call 911!

1. Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)


Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)


Importantly, the (SPRC) is the only federally supported resource center.

2. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)


The National Institute of Mental Health is the lead federal agency for research on mental disorders.

Vision:  NIMH envisions a world in which mental illnesses are prevented and cured.
Mission:  To transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses.  This is done through basic and clinical research.  Also, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.

3. Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide (SPTS)


Specifically, teen suicide is a growing problem in America and many other countries. SPTS is a nonprofit organization. Reducing teen suicide is the goal.  These resources are for teens, parents, and educators. SPTS also pushes legislation.  This is by requiring teachers to undergo training in suicide prevention.

4. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)


The CDC views overall mental health and suicide as important public health issues.

5. Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention


This is a public and private alliance of organizations.  In short, it is dedicating itself to preventing suicide. The Action Alliance works with many groups.  It is to help people understand and prevent suicide.

6. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)


The AFSP website has a long list of resources.  It also provides help to people who have lost loved ones to suicide.

7. Crisis Text Line


Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741

Teens are often more comfortable texting than talking on the telephone. It is for those unwilling or unable to voice call. They will help de-escalate individuals who are considering suicide.  T

8. HelpGuide


HelpGuide provides information on a wide variety of mental health issues, including suicide, and those contemplating suicide.  It also provides a list of common myths about suicide.

9. Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE)


Crisis line: 1-800-273-8255

Founded by a mother who lost her daughter to suicide in 1979.  SAVE’s mission is to help prevent suicide.  This is through public awareness and education.  Equally important, SAVE hopes to reduce the stigma of suicidal ideation.

10. The Trevor Project


The Trevor Project was founded in 1998.  Equally important, the Trevor Project is the leading national organization.  It provides crisis intervention as well as suicide prevention services.  These services help the LGBTQ+ young people under 25.

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My Story Will Empower Me

Fighting Child Abuse -Now or Never | Social & Development Log of Pakistan - SDLP

Highlighting Stories of Survivors

In this story, you will read about abuse by a stepfather to his stepdaughter.  The phrase “My Story Will Empower Me” has stuck in my throat.  As my heart was breaking for what this young girl has gone through, in the end…she knows Truth.  What man used for evil, He will use for His glory.  Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT.  Her strength and courage leaves me in awe.  I’m so proud of this young lady.

This is a TRUE story of several years of abuse and the suicidal ideations this young lady had at a very young age.  She is NOT a victim.  This girl is a survivor and a child of the King.  Please be mindful, if leaving comments, that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things said.  All names have been changed to protect her.

Her Story


Sometimes, I like to lay in bed and daydream about what my life would be like had you not abused me for many years.  I’d like to think that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be completely disgusted with myself.  Maybe, I would be able to undress in front of a mirror without cringing every time I see myself.  Maybe I would feel more comfortable around older men.

I Wasn’t the Only One

You took a real interest in my sister, but you preferred to take pictures of her.  You saved the majority of touching for me.  One of the main examples of touching I remember is when we would walk next to each other.  You would put your arm around me and grab my butt.  Sometimes, you would switch it up and just rest your hand on my butt.

When It Began

I remember the abuse started when I was about nine, but I’m sure it happened well before then.  Never will I forget you making us change in front of you.  I remember my sixth-grade year when you made me and my sister rotate who would change directly in front of you.  How you wouldn’t let us wear anything to bed beside our underwear.  I also remember when you were in a particularly good mood and you would make us sleep naked so you could come into our room and stare at our bodies.

Innocence Stolen

The thing that traumatized me the most is when you made me and my sister go into the little garage with you.  You made my sister lock the door and you then told us to get completely naked.  I remember how shaky my hands were as I was taking off my clothes.  I was so scared of what you were going to do next.  You called it “checking us for ticks,” but I know that’s not really why you were doing it because you didn’t make our brothers do it too.  I also know that wasn’t the real reason because I remember you waited until our mom left to do it.  Honestly, we couldn’t have been in the garage for long but it felt like a lifetime trapped in there with you.

I vividly remember what it felt like when your rough hands traced every single inch of my body.  If I had the choice to forget one day in my life, that would be the day.  That was the day, that you took my innocence from me.  I was ten years old.  No ten-year-olds should ever have to feel how I felt on that day.  Ten-year-olds should be playing dress-up, not getting abused by their stepfathers.  I trusted you.  I loved you, and I thought you loved me too.  What you did was not love.

Wanting Out

At night, I would lay in bed and think of ways to kill you so the abuse would stop.  If I wasn’t plotting to kill you, I was planning on ways to kill myself.  I didn’t care what it took.  I wanted out of the situation.  It’s crazy to think about how much I wanted to die at ten years old.  How many ten-year-olds do you know that want to commit suicide?

Anger Flows Freely

I’m angry that you took my innocence from me.  You took my childhood.  I’m angry that you didn’t feel guilty for what you did to me.  Also, I’m angry that you didn’t spend the rest of your life in jail.  Honestly, I’m angry that you are still alive and that my mother still loves you.  I’m angry you guys got married.  She chose you over me.  I’m angry that you locked my brother in his room for a week because you thought he was faking it.  I had to sneak him food and water, I am so angry about that.  I’m angry you waited so long to take him to the hospital.

Even after he was diagnosed {brain cancer}, you treated him like crap because you thought he was doing it for attention.  I’m angry I didn’t get to be there with my brother as he was dying because of you.  I don’t know how you live with yourself.  How do you sleep at night?  I hope you are miserable.  I hope the guilt about my brother eats you up inside.

Wishes for My Future

If and when I have children, I will do everything in my power to protect them from people like you.  I promise that I won’t be like you or my mother.  My children will never have to worry about men watching them change or shower.  My children will never look in the mirror and hate themselves because of what happened to them.  Hopefully, one day, I will be able to forgive you.  I hope one day I will look in the mirror and be proud of who I am and what I have overcome.  I wish I could say that this won’t happen to other little girls, but I know that there are many people like you out there.

My Story Will Empower Me

I hope one day soon that I will be able to publicly tell my story so that other women can speak up about their stories.  One day, you will lose your grip on me and I’ll love myself again.  Soon, I will love my body.  I will no longer be ashamed of you and my story will empower me.  One day soon you’ll die, and I will sleep a tad bit better at night.  You will get what is coming to you and you deserve every bit of it.

You will have to answer for what you did to me one of these days.  There is nothing you can ever say or do to make up for what you did to me.  One of these days, I will be doing better than ever.  Your abuse has never and will never define who I am or where I’m going.  I hope you are happy with the choices you’ve made in life.  I hope that it was all worth it in the end.

Yours Truly,



If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Related Posts

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month


Suicide Prevention

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Suicide Prevention Month | State Suicide Prevention Council | Bureau of Community Health Services | NH Department of Health and Human Services

Tough but Important

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  Suicide…that word makes my heart jump in my throat and I have an immediate physical reaction.  People are so afraid to talk about this subject because they may be afraid it could “trigger” someone.  That is a valid fear!  Yet, fear is a liar!

My life has been touched by suicide so much.  There are many hospital beds I have sat next too.  Hands I have held.  Families I have cried with.  Prayers that I’ve prayed.  Funerals that I have attended.

Please know this is so difficult but so important to discuss.  Mental health problems should not be hidden.  The stigma should be ended and judgment of others should be thrown out the window.

If you have a story you want to share, please email me at and I will be happy to anonymously (if you choose) to use your story on my blog.

You are loved.  Worthy.  You are created in the image of Jesus.  Your story IS NOT finished.

Q: How common is suicide in children and teens?

A: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that in 2014, suicide was the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10–24. Although these numbers may make suicide seem common, it is still a rare event. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors are more common than suicide deaths and are signs of extreme distress. Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are not harmless bids for attention and should not be ignored.

Q: What are some of the risks factors for suicide?

A: Risk factors vary with age, gender, or ethnic group and may change over time. Some factors that increase an individual’s risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors are:

  • Depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders
  • Substance abuse disorder
  • Chronic pain
  • Prior suicide attempt
  • Family history of suicide
  • Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
  • Firearms in the home
  • Having recently been released from jail or prison
  • Exposure to suicidal behavior of others, such as family members or peers

It is important to note that many people who have these risk factors are not suicidal.

Q: What are the warning signs?

A: The following are some of the signs you might notice in yourself or a friend that may be reason for concern:

  • Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill oneself
  • Making a plan or looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online
  • Buying a gun, or stockpiling pills
  • Feeling empty, hopeless, or feeling like there is no reason to live
  • Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
  • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Withdrawing from family or friends or feeling isolated
  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  • Displaying extreme mood swings
  • Saying good-bye to loved ones, putting affairs in order.

Seeking help is a sign of strength; if you are concerned, go with your instincts and seek professional help.

Reaching out to a friend you are concerned about is also a sign of strength.

What can I do for myself or someone else?

A: Immediate action is very important. Here are a few resources:

Q: What if someone seems suicidal on social media?

A: Many social media outlets, including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Google+, have ways to report suicidal content and get help for the content creator. Each social media site has a different procedure, so search the site’s help page for assistance.

Q: What if I want to write a story about suicide?

A: Great idea! Here are suggestions for reporting on suicide:

Q: Where can I go for more information on suicide prevention?

A: You can:

Visit the National Library of Medicine’s MedlinePlus,
En Español:


Other Posts

“Take Back Your Life” a 40 day Devotional Journey by Levi Lusko

Business Side of Life

“Take Back Your Life” a 40 day Devotional Journey by Levi Lusko

“Take Back Your Life” a 40 day Devotional Journey by Levi Lusko.

“Take Back Your Life” a 40 day Devotional Journey by Levi Lusko.  Levi Lusko is the founder and lead pastor of Fresh Life Church, located in Montana, Wyoming, Oregon, and Utah. He is the bestselling author of Through the Eyes of a Lion, Swipe Right, and I Declare War. Levi also travels the world speaking about Jesus. He and his wife, Jennie, have one son, Lennox, and four daughters: Alivia, Daisy, Clover, and Lenya, who is in heaven.

God’s Timing

It’s a funny thing, sometimes, when you say something out loud and then what you say comes to fruition.  This summer has been so hard.  There is not enough space to write all the things that have happened to our family.  Our dynamics have changed, hurts have taken place, illnesses have popped up (not Co-Vid19), and the uncertainty of life due to the pandemic.

I’m so physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually drained.  A friend of mine asked if we could go to supper.  I have not been getting out (aka 2 trips to Wal-Mart since February) and go to supper.  She invited my husband and boys to go to her house where her husband grilled supper for my crew.  What a treat.

Laying It All Out

I told her that we needed to do this more!  It was such a breath of fresh air to just be alone with someone you know loves you and does not judge you.  One who listens and is just as nuts as you are.  I told her that I wanted to do a devotional but was finding it hard because my heart is just hard right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus.  I’m just weary.  She said if I find one, let her know and we could do it.  Well, the next day, I checked the mail and a package had arrived.  I had no idea what it was because I was pretty certain I didn’t order anything.  My son-in-law tends to have things sent here, but it had my name on it.

Opening my Package

I opened it up and out tumbled 2 of these devotionals.  One for me to review (I had forgotten that I signed up to review it) and one for a friend.  Uhm, hello Jesus, I hear you.  I see you.  Gonna pick up what you are throwing down.

Then I read the “Before” chapter and by the time I finished those 4 little pages, I was in tears.  I’ve been so focused on the “ants” in my life that I had neglected to see the billions of mosquitoes flying around.  When you get this devotional, you will understand that phrase.

It is speaking to my soul on a level I thought nothing could reach.  Speaking Truths and opening my eyes to so many things that I thought I had hidden well.  The Lord shines light on all darkness.  Light has shown all over my darkness and it frightens me, in a good way.

Please Go and Do

Go and buy this devotional!  Buy one for a friend.  Do a study on it at your local church or in your home (socially distant, of course).  It is worth it.  May God bless you and keep you in all that you do in your life.  I pray this devotional speaks to you as it has me.  This is one that I will read through and then go back in and marinate on each section.  God is good all the time and all the time God is good.


Book Landing Page


“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”):  Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC and HCCP for providing this prize for the giveaway and review.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.
Business Side of Life

Is Your Family Ready for the New School Year?

Is your family ready for the new school year?

COVID-19 Resources You Need for a Safe and Successful New School Year

Is your family ready for the new school year? If not, you’re probably not the only one. After all, it can be difficult to navigate pandemic challenges along with the normal back-to-school concerns. That’s why you need the steps and resources below to make your life easier.

First, You’ve Got to Have Some Faith

This year’s going to be tough but you’ve got this!

Then, You’ll Need to Keep Things Clean

Homeschool or regular school, keeping your home clean is crucial.

Next, You Can Start Shopping for Supplies

No new school year is complete without shopping, so use these tips to make it easier.

Finally, Work on Getting Kids Into a Routine

Honestly, this may be the hardest part of the new school year, but these resources will help.

This year is going to be a challenge. So put the resources above to good use but also have some faith and patience with yourself, and your family.

Photo Credit: Pixabay


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Make School Community

Life or Something Like It

Good Information from Make School Community

Good Information from Make School Community

Photo by Jumana Dakkur on

I received this email from Komal Desai at  There is some Good Information from Make School Community.  This is a very difficult time we are living in and I want to make sure that resources are available.  I do not want to be a part of the problem, I want to be a part of the solution.  Here I am, listening, learning, and advocating.  In all honesty, my son (from Ethiopia) deserves to be able to walk down any street and be safe.


First, Black Lives Matter!  Second, EDUCATE yourself.  Ask questions and be willing to learn and adapt your thinking.  I found myself tagging things with the hashtag of All Lives Matter.  Then, a sweet friend taught me what that phrase means to her, as a black woman who LOVES Jesus.  This meme led me to reach out to her, in love, and ask her to educate me.  She did and I’m so thankful.  Now, I get it!  I’m so thankful she didn’t see me as disrespectful but willing to learn more.  Also, she is willing to answer my questions.  In raising my beautiful black son, I want him to be proud of his skin, proud of the country he was born in, proud of the country he is raised in, and safe.  I want my child to be safe, all the days of his life.  Third, support black-owned companies and businesses.

Good Information from Make School Community

Good Information from Make School Community

We (at Make School Community) have been following the protests uniting our country over the last week. The bravery among all those fighting for black lives is inspiring. We demand justice for George Floyd, justice for all the innocent men and women killed by the police, and support the calls for our government to take concrete action towards ending police brutality against the black community in America.

Make School exists to provide avenues of upward mobility for students of all backgrounds, especially those underrepresented in the tech industry. We cannot achieve our mission if we do not do our part to dismantle the systemic racism that affects so many in our community.

To start, it is time to listen and learn. We are learning from the following resources on the history of racism in the United States and how best to be an ally:

List of resources to help you support the black community:

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Swimming Pool Safety Tips for Parents and Kids

Swimming Pool Safety Tips for Parents and Kids
Photo by Juan Salamanca on

Swimming Pool Safety Tips for Parents and Kids

Backyard swimming pools are the pinnacle of summer fun.

They’re also deadly.

While fatal pool drownings are on the decline, more than 350 children still die in swimming pools every year. It only takes a second for a child to slip away and into danger, which is why it’s so important that families practice pool safety.

If you have a backyard pool, here’s what you need to know about enjoying it safely.

Securing a Backyard Pool

When buying a home with a swimming pool or installing a new pool, take these steps to make it kid-safe:

  • Install pool fencing at least four feet high with self-latching and childproof gates.
  • Pool safety covers are another option. Safety covers are designed to support a person’s weight and are different from normal pool covers.
  • Use pool alarms for added safety. There are several types of pool alarms available.
  • Keep swimming pools in good repair. In addition to leaks and cracks, some pools can collapse from damage.

Swimming Skills for Kids

Children are safer when they know how to swim. Here’s what parents need to know about teaching kids swimming skills:

  • Kids are ready to start swimming lessons around age four or five, experts suggest.
  • Swimming skills every child should have include getting in and out safely, turning around, floating, and breathing.
  • Children should also learn how to tread water and swim moderate distances.

Pool Safety Rules for Parents and Kids

No matter a child’s swimming ability, there are some rules every family should follow when it comes to backyard pools:

  • Even strong swimmers shouldn’t swim alone. Always supervise children in and around water.
  • Don’t treat floatable toys as safety devices. Instead, use life jackets for inexperienced swimmers.
  • Keep pool toys out of sight when not in use so children aren’t tempted to enter the pool area.

What to Do in a Swimming Emergency

Finally, parents should understand what to do in a swimming pool emergency. Here’s how to respond if your child has an accident in your backyard pool:

  • Learn how to recognize the signs of drowning.
  • Know how to safely rescue a drowning person without putting yourself in danger.
  • All parents should know how to perform CPR. A variety of organizations offer CPR training.
  • Always seek medical help after a swimming accident to prevent dry drowning and other complications.

Swimming may seem like harmless summer fun — and done safely, it is! However, backyard pools are also a hidden danger in your home. Make sure you’re taking the right steps to keep your children safe around backyard pools so you can prevent a tragedy.

Guest Blogger:  Alex Robbins

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3 Years Ago Today

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3 Years Ago Today

3 Years Ago Today

3 Years Ago Today

At 4:30 pm, 3 Years Ago Today, our lives changed forever.  Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome began to rear its ugly head.  Our lives were altered.  There has not been one person, in our home, that was not affected by this devastating condition.

This day comes and goes, for most people.  In our world, today, we see Co-Vid19, racism, and protests.  It seems like everything is falling apart.  In lieu of those horrendous things, I stop today and give thanks that my son is still alive.


In the course of 36 mths, he has had

  • A bazillion IVs
  • 28 IVIG treatments which equals almost 250 hrs in a hospital
  • 2 Lumbar Punctures
  • 3 MRIs
  • 1 EEG
  • A bazillion labs
  • The second highest genetics battery of testing
  • 5 diagnosis’
  • 46 ACTH shots in the thigh
  • Countless high dose rounds of Dexamethasone
  • 3 rounds of Chemo
  • 5 hospitals
  • Countless stays in said hospitals
  • A Make A Wish trip
  • Wheelchair bound for months
  • Gait walker dependent for months
  • Ramp installation
  • Multiple rounds of high/low frequency acupuncture
  • Bioimpedance
  • Amish Iridology
  • A death sentence

My Son

He is a warrior.  This child has been prayed over by hundreds of people.  Donations have helped us travel many miles to seek help.  Many tears have been shed.  Faith has been torn down and redeveloped.  Hope has abounded.  In 2017, our lives changed.  2018, we were given a new diagnosis and told to take him home until he “succumbs.”  In 2019, we got the “old” diagnosis back and were given hope.  Now, in 2020, my baby is not only alive but has graduated from kindergarten and lost 2 teeth.

3 Years Ago Today

How I Feel

My gut aches.  I am physically ill at the pain that he has gone through.  There has been great pain.  No one will ever know what he and I have been through together.  There is a bond that we have because through it all, it’s been Hunter and me.  Bart has been amazing.  He goes when he can.  The support, love, devotion, and still have to deal with other kids and a full-time job.  My children.  Family.  Church.  Friends.

I know Christ died on the cross to heal Hunter.  It just has not manifested, completely in his body.  We still do treatments every month.  He still struggles in some areas and tremors are always there.  We still worry about when he gets sick and a flare-up.  I still carry around the “what-if” guilt.  It is still there and I am now praying for deliverance for that guilt.

My Baby

He is busy.  Mouthy.  He pees on kittens occasionally.  There are still some fits, tremors, eye twitches, and speech issues.  Yet, there are no more rages (praise God), no more ACTH shots, no more OCD (for the most part) issues.  Treatments are easier because he is a pro at getting an IV.  Meds are taken with grace and not a fight.  He is aware that he has OMS and is learning about his condition.

3 Years Ago Today

My baby runs, plays baseball, jumps, dances, and says things like “Taco Tuesday and Hump Day.”  He has changed his name from Hunter to Kid to Mario.  I’m no longer “mom” because that is old, done, gone…I am not Princess Peach.  He apologizes when he is wrong.  Loves to have me smell his hair and say “it smells like rainbows and sunshine” after a bath.

He is alive.  Death from OMS is not in his future.  God has big plans for him and He has allowed me to be front and center.  The phrase God is good all the time and all the time God is good runs through my head.  I never thought I’d be able to say that and mean that again.

Yet…He is good.

3 Years Ago Today