Large Family Happenings

You Know There is a Problem When

You Know There is a Problem When

You Know There is a Problem When

You know there is a problem when the boy who is interested in your daughter

shows up at your home

with an envelope in his hand

asks to speak to you

and says

“Ms. Brandi, I was dishonest with you, on Sunday.  You frightened me when you asked me if there was anything you needed to know.  However, now I want to tell you and show you my

ARREST RECORD!”

Yes, people, he handed me his extensive arrest record.

I had friends at this dinner, who love my daughter like their own.  The look on my face, as I’m sure priceless, but looking across the table at their faces was a sight to behold.

I believe at one point, as speechless (yes it does happen) as I was, that John John looked at this young man who had an interest in my daughter..he stared him down and said: “Uhm, no….just no.”

We fed the young man.  Oddly, he asked for a photo op with Big Daddy and me.  We opted against that.  However, we were nice.  Oh, and we wished him well.  An executive decision is a heck no techno you are NOT dating my daughter.

“I’m a Christian but I will punch you in the face” LOLOLOLOL

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Large Family Happenings

Let’s Just Say that Someone is Interested in Your Daughter

Let's Just Say that Someone is Interested in Your Daughter

Let’s Just Say that Someone is Interested in Your Daughter.

In Let’s Just Say that Someone is Interested in Your Daughter, I describe a strange event that occurred in my home.  He comes for dinner.  An unexpected guest.  He is a hugger…this you did not know.  Large, strange man hugging you.

Weird.

With great wonder, he comments on how *wonderful* and *large* your home is.  Then, there is a moment of “ma’am, may I please speak to you.”

You sit so he can speak.

In a previous conversation, you asked questions such as:  “What was the last book of the Bible you read?”

Answer:  Psalm 91

“What is your favorite verse?”

Answer:  Uhhhhh….the first one.

“Have you read the book of Habakkuk?”

Answer:  It is in the Old Testament, right?  If it is short, I will go home and read it.

“If I searched your name on Google, what would I find?”

Answer:  “Ah, nothing ma’am…I just watch Godtube.

Then the truth comes out…..

He walks into your home and hands you a manila envelope.

He states that he wants to be honest and hands you his arrest record.

You must give the boy props for coming clean.  Hold no grudges, everyone can change.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

Answer:  I don’t want to have sex until I’m married.

**choke back the vomit, ask for a coke and possibly a valium**

“No, we are not talking about sex.  What are you wanting from knowing my daughter?”

Answer:  Oh, ma’am, they tell me in AA that I can’t be in a relationship until I have been sober for a year.

“You are an alcoholic.  Okay.  You are in recovery.  Good for you.  How long have you been sober?”

Answer:  Not a year.

Conversation over.

The supper was eaten.

Boy exits….after another hug and a surprise photo op because he wants the “memory” of being here.

Seriously.

Is it *just* my life?

There was more to the conversation.  So.  Much.  More.

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