Life or Something Like It

A Love Letter on Your 50th Birthday

A Love Letter on Your 50th Birthday

What can I say to you, on your big 50th? There is so much and yet I am at a loss for words. However, this is A Love Letter on Your 50th Birthday. We have spent almost 30 years together, in the same space.

You are my safe place. If a random person walked up to you, right now, and asked “where is your wife’s favorite place to be,” you would know the answer immediately. You would look them dead in the eye and say “my armpit.” You, my dear, would be 1000% correct.

Your Presence

I feel so loved when I am in your presence. You are so thoughtful to my myriad of emotions. I am fully aware that one minute I could be laughing and we are enjoying something together…the next minute I could be having a breakdown. You never judge me, yell at me, or make me feel less than.

Listening and Prayer

You don’t try to fix me (anymore), you simply sit and listen. The overwhelming feeling of being heard, loved, and accepted is just what I need on a daily basis. When I go to bed, before you, you think I don’t feel you when you put your hand gently on my leg. I know, in that moment, you are praying for me. Thank you for consistently doing that because it has made my monsters go away and more nights then not, I can sleep peacefully.

Little Things

You poop in the boys’ bathroom so I don’t have to smell it. The times when you would run out of the house to toot because it would make me gag. Always being the man with a plan when it comes to vomit with the except of the hotdogs in the washing machine. You have my coke ready in the morning. If you had pompoms, you would be the biggest, loudest, baldest cheerleader ever. You are my supporter and my number 1 fan. Thank you for making me cookies at 10:30 at night. Also, thank you for not telling me I was fat and bald even though I was overweight and my hair was falling out. Thank you for letting me buy a purse that you knew good and well I wouldn’t carry for very long.


The encouragement you gave me while I was pursuing my dream is something that should be taught to every man who has a partner in life. When I was discouraged and doubting myself, you would pick me up and tell me that I can do it. I am capable. I am strong.

I did the biggest and scariest thing because I knew you were standing behind me, holding me up. When the kids were younger (even now), my favorite time of the day was when I heard the garage door open. I would be standing on the step, just waiting to hug you.


You are what dreams are made of. In every wrinkle on your face and gray hair on your chin (chest and back but whatever), I see our love story written. Your eyes tell our entire love story and it isn’t finished being written. I love you endlessly and forever. Thank you for never leaving me unattended, for standing between me and the bad people, for always having my back, front, and side.

You, Big Daddy, are my forever and always. I love you (and your butt) so completely.

Happy Birthday!

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Turning 50 and Attempting to Decorate for My Age

Turning 50 and Attempting to Decorate for My Age

Turning 50 and Attempting to Decorate for My Age

Turning 50 and Attempting to Decorate for My Age. In my earnest effort to look normal, have a normal home, and decorate…we went in to TJ Maxx.  I could feel the panic come over my body.  So many people in that store.  It was like the Shop-O-Rama in my local town.

There was jewelry, perfume, clothes, purses, Christmas EVERYWHERE, decor, toys, food…my thoughts were if I stumble on a frozen food section, I am out of there.  It was overwhelming for me.  I shop online all the time.  This in person crap is for the birds.

I beelined to the pillows. They seemed safe and according to my sister, I needed one stripe or floral, one solid, and one textured to bring a “room together.”  I’m agreeing with her like I know what she is saying.

Yet, this is why she is my person.

After her words were used, she looked up the exact piece and said, “order this and this and this is what it should look like when you are done.”

Aw, she knows I’m visual and not an auditory learning.  Love her.  I ordered all that she said and am anxiously awaiting the arrival.

My Vision

There is a vision in my head of what I want for my living space. I love clean, simple, clutter free spaces.  I enjoy open, airy, lots of light as well. My colors for the first living area is grey, black, white, and red.  I love that combo with my furniture.  In the first half of my living room, I have 2 couches, 2 recliners, and a bookcase.  That’s it.  There is zero room for any end tables or a coffee table.

I dug around and found two nice, fluffy blankets to add some personality to the space.  In 2 separate grey/white twill baskets, I added stuffed animals in one and hid it behind a recliner and in the other, it has books for my grandchildren.

Onto My Walls

I have a black and white print a friend drew for me.  Love it.  Then, I have 3 16×20 canvases (is it a double consonant “s” in that word?  Canvasses?  I’ll have to look that up), and underneath it, I want a simple sign with a white background and black lettering. I’m leaning on the quote “I’m Gonna Wait on You.”

It’s personal.

Canvases and Canvasses can both be used.  I feel better.

Furniture and Obsessions

My one piece of furniture is sort of a bookshelf with a cabinet underneath.  I have a baskets under there where I may put more of my grandchildren’s toys and they can safely get too them.  Since I have no storage in this house, my mom repurposed a piece of furniture that I use for games, school supplies, and more “stuff” for the grands. That sits in my foyer.

The top 3 shelves has my collection of Bible’s hello, my name is Brandi and I’m addicted to Bibles.  Daddy said if I can’t learn what the Lord wants me to learn in one Bible,  I certainly won’t learn with 30 Bibles.

Whatever, Daddy.

What I Need

I need a long sign under my canvases (there I go again).  Also, I needed one more black framed something to go on the other side of the window.  The whole point of this trip to TJ Maxx is because I wanted throw pillows.  Honestly, I feel like people who are almost 50 have throw pillows.  I thought I could incorporate the red that way, which I did and love!

Then there was the whole conundrum of “do people who are 50 have curtains?”  Is it a requirement?  I just don’t know.  Yes, I took a poll and the poll was split down the middle.  I opted on no, but could change my mind in order to look my age LOL.

Back to the Throw Pillows

I felt safe back there in the pillow spot of TJ Maxx.  There were not a lot of people and the different textures of the pillows brought me joy.  I could be the weirdo who likes to touch things and feel the textures.  It is quite relaxing.

Sadly, I revert back to my younger years and I crop dust the pillow aisle.  That was until my husband surprised me and walked behind me.  He said “My smell is still gone but somehow, someway your putrid farts permeate my nostrils.  What is wrong with you?”  I giggled like a schoolgirl and kept walking.

Good news was that I found RED pillows (solid), textured pillows (striped), and a stand out pillow.  As an adult, I did all the requirements per my sister.  Yes, yes I did send her pictures.  She was pleased and gave me two thumbs up!

At One Point

I was standing in front of the greenery and I wondered outloud are these the types of green things that 50 year old people have in their house?  Do you dust them?  Should they be real?  How does this work.  The space over my bookcase is substantial, so how will they see these tiny little pots with these fake flowers in it.

One lady said I sounded like her and her sister.  She was super traditional and her sister was the tye-dyed type.  Since I was literally wearing the tye die shirt, she figured out which one I was and which my sister was. I am, quite literally, trying to muster up that traditional, age appropriate person and it was evading me.  Decorating is not my thing.

I walked away with no greenery.

We Stumbled onto the Clearance Aisle

I would touch something and present it and ask to my husband “Will this make me look normal?” He stated not unless I had planned on impaling people.  This piece looked like a bunch of tiny swords ready to stab anyone who walks by.

Point taken.

Then he found a 3 piece set of a calender, a daily menu piece and the perfect match to go onto my living room wall.  I was stoked.  I accidentally got my kitchen decorated and didn’t even realize it.  Happy Day to me!

One woman, as I was muttering to myself about decorations said “ma’am, you just be you and who cares what anyone would buy or how their stuff is decorated.  You just be you.”  That actually helped.

It Helped Me Walk Out of the Store

I left him to check out, get all these pillows to the car, in the rain and we went home.  I needed a pill and some relaxation time.  Everything was done for Part 1 of my living room.  I have some pics to print and put in that one frame.  I also have another canvas to print.  Then, I have to have my mom make that sign and then it is done.

With what I had laying around my house, I found a red basket and a plant that I hadn’t killed yet.  I ordered a black pot to put Edna in for on top of my bookshelf.  Looks pretty good except for her burnt leaves. *For inquiring minds, Edna is dead. She isn’t just a little bit dead…she is a lot dead. She is dead and I subsequently killed three aloe plants.

Foyer Decor

I cleaned out the bill holder and will move some stuff around in the coat closet.  It needs to be used for coats.  I may also put a piece in there that is a hidden shoe holder.  Then, Bart hung a massive piece on top of some furniture my mom made.  Bart hung another one of my favorite signs up.  I ordered a runner (mostly for safety reasons) and a Eucalyptus wreath.

Bart will be adding shelves and stuff in the cats litter box room.  Yes, Karen has a whole room with a drain in it and all the things.  She needs it.  Anyway, once I get that, that little spot will be done. Oh, my Snake plant (no clue, but sister told me I couldn’t kill it because hers is still alive) is still alive.  It will need a little table to sit on.

TJ Maxx came through in a clutch but I gotta figure out the down times to go in there because dang, there were a lot of people.  So.  Many.   People.

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It’s Gonna Get Wild Up In Here

It’s Gonna Get Wild Up In Here



I’m just telling you now, It’s Gonna Get Wild Up In Here this week! What I had planned will probably not come to pass this week. Well, that’s not true. Most of it will be the same but with some sharp curves and turns as the week moves on. However, I must prepare myself for the meltdown that I feel sure will come by the weekend.


Usually, I get my grocery order placed and ready to pick up by Monday. Did I do that? No. I sure did not. I have my menu (posted yesterday) but that means nothing. I know what I need, I just haven’t done it. Also on Sunday, I schedule out my work stuff for the week. That means, all I have to do is clock in and clock out throughout the week. How hard is that. I mean I even set my alarm to remind me to do so. Have I done that? No. I sure have not. I’ve pretty much done nothing today. I colored and watched a movie. That sums up my Sunday.


I have a hair appointment (everybody say “hey”). Super excited about that. Hair day is always a good day! Also, a young person needs me to cut his hair. It really is no big deal. I can cut hair but when it is someone new, I cry. Every single time. I mean I don’t do it in front of the person but I will either cry before or after. Let’s all collectively pray that he doesn’t look Amish.

Also, I may have a sweet little person come over. She is needing some guidance and we were a big part of her life for a long time, so she may pop over. If she does, she may go to the basketball game with me. What my conundrum is is when am I going to clean the house because I did not have time to do a Friday Reset.

In between my hair appointment, the hair cut I have to do, my little person coming over, and basketball is when I will clean. Sure, that sounds doable. We will go with that. I had planned on setting out the ham and hashbrown casserole for supper. However, I’m really craving spaghetti carbonara. Yet, one child has requested my roasted butternut squash spaghetti. I can’t have pasta that much during the week…or can I?


This is my son-in-laws birthday. It will be a hard day for him due to some circumstances but we will make sure he knows how loved he is! I am not sure if he will be coming over for his birthday dinner or want to wait. We have another basketball game tonight, so you know…I’m thrilled.

I’m going to have to go to the grocery at some point. Honestly, I don’t know when that point will be. I would like to have my parents over for supper since it is his birthday, but I guess that depends on what day we celebrate on. That reminds me, I have to wrap his presents. By “I” that means my husband cause I don’t wrap things.


Basketball…cause why not. I mean we are wild.

Thursday Errands

We are meeting with a new neuro possibility for one of my kids. He is affiliated with the hospital we have been attending but he is at a satellite office. I have no idea how familiar he is with Opsoclonus Myoclonus but I guess we shall see. At some point, we are going to have to officially change doctors or go back to Pittsburgh where Dr. Thakker is located. She is amazing.

It is getting close to time for his yearly surgeries/scans/checkups and I really do not want to go back to the doctor we had been seeing. There is never anything accomplished or decided. Frankly, she irritates me. Oh and guess what? We have another baseball game. I know you are jealous. Luckily, I have therapy before that game. I may need it.

Friday and Saturday will be Cleaning and Organizing

Basketball and more basketball. Though my goal is to get the house clean on Monday, I will get back on my schedule on Friday to deep clean (again). I know it is redundant but my OCD wants me to be on a schedule. It’s just got to get done. There is no way around it. One of my kids has some therapy appointments. Saturday I would love to clean out the garage and organize it! I am also wanting to work on a capsule wardrobe to minimalize my clothes.