Guest Blogger

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself


We are all walking our own paths, and the road to healing isn’t always easy. One thing we all need to remember is that in order to help others, we must first ensure that we are maintaining our own light and keeping ourselves mentally sound. In other words, To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself.  Here are some tips for keeping your mental energy in the right spectrum and walking the path of healing as we move into 2021:

Heal your mind.

Mental health and self-care practices are two sides of the same coin. There are numerous studies and research that indicate the connection between self-care and mental health. Self-care is the act of increasing self-awareness, which includes mental processes. Practicing self-care can then help you recognize your own emotional patterns. This means that when you become more self-aware, you can avoid the things that make you feel bad, and recognize the things that make you feel more relaxed or calm so you seek those things out.

Another way to take that step toward healing your mind is to assess your goals and how you can accomplish them. Focusing on the end result of your mental health journey can be helpful, especially if you break the journey into smaller steps that you can surmount bit by bit.

Heal your sleep.

Sleep is a huge part of your physical health, but it can help you maintain a mental balance, as well, so striving to get a full cycle of sleep every night should be included in your self-care routine.

Cultivating a space that is conducive to good, quality rest is an important part of creating a healthy sleep schedule. You should transform your bedroom into a sleep-inducing space by using comfortable sheets and pillows, avoiding light disruption, and keeping the noise down. In addition, starting a pre-sleep routine (e.g., having nighttime tea, reading a book, dimming the lights, etc.) can help signal your body that it’s time to rest.

Heal your body.

Mental and physical health has been shown to be inextricably linked. Eating healthy foods as part of a well-balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, and exercising are all ways to get your physical health in the right place — and they all provide a key component of mental health, as well. Practicing good eating habits and a regular daily exercise regimen is part of self-care.

Heal your home.

An integral part of self-care is the maintenance of the environment around you. Creating a sanctuary out of your home is essential to finding inner peace and re-calibrating, even when the world seems unwelcoming.

Creating a positive atmosphere at home is an important step in the healing process. Decluttering, cleaning, and letting fresh air into your home can help you create the kind of sanctuary that will go a long way toward getting your mental energy in the right place.

There is a connection between clutter and the stress hormone cortisol. In other words, when your space is too messy, negative thoughts can spike. So keeping your space clean and clutter-free contributes to the positive vibes you need.

Heal your connections.

Staying in touch with the people you love most is also a form of self-care, and that’s especially true for families. Spending quality time with family members strengthens bonds and helps keep you connected, even when it takes place virtually. The biggest part of maintaining close connections comes from making friends and family a priority and putting time and energy into those relationships.

Focus on you to focus on others.

Use these healing tips to put greater emphasis on self-care and your own mental health journey. Once you are healthy and whole, you can turn your attention to others who may need help in this area.

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Where Have I Been

Where Have I Been

Where Have I Been

Are ^^^^^^^these^^^^^^^flowers not gawgeous???????  I mean, seriously.  I guess I should’ve found a pic of March Flowers since they are out and about this month.  Oh, how I love them.  My sister calls them Jonquils, cause she is so fancy and all.  This is a little snippet of Where Have I Been lately.

I call them March Flowers or Easter Flowers…..what do you call them?

Anyway…where I have been for the last month.

I’ve spent this time reflecting on some things and dealing with some not so pleasant things.  At least, I’ve come to terms with issues and I’ve grieved.  Also, I’ve cried a lot.  Sadly, I’ve angered people and I’ve been angered.  Life.  I’ve been living life.

My marriage is good.  We always have things to work on and my husband does have things that he wants to work on, for him….not for me.  I want to work on my resolve, my weight, and my thought process.

Healthwise, I’ve been better.  Physically, I have recovered from a hysterectomy and bladder surgery.  The process was a suckfest, but the outcome is glorious 🙂  Mentally and emotionally, this has been one of the hardest and longest seasons of my life.  I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since May 2015.  I have clocked more time in hospitals, in the last 3 yrs, than I have in my entire life…that includes giving birth.

The Trials in My Life

My marriage took a hit in that month in a big and mighty way.  My daughter, after 11 years, had to leave our home for a time to allow us all to heal.  One of my son’s had surgery.  Another son is showing the massive effects of FASD.  A daughter got married.  A daughter wants to get married.  My baby was diagnosed with a life-altering condition.  My Lady died, my daddy has had a stroke, and quadruple bypass.  Finally, my niece finally landed in prison for the next 8-10 yrs.  Just so much.  Three of my beloved dogs died.


It has been hard.  Epically hard.  I’ve upped my regular antidepressants.  I’ve started exercising.  I’m back on my sleeping meds to help me sleep…yet it still was bad.  I felt like I was in a deep hole and could not see the pinpoint of light to climb out.  I finally had to yield to my family physician about my panic attacks and anxiety and that the meds were not working like they once did.  He changed up a couple of things and he added a couple of things and I finally am beginning to feel a bit more human.

Life…. gets in the way of grandiose plans.  I have learned that I must give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thess 5:18).  I’ve learned to not lean on my own understanding because His ways are higher than my ways.  I’ve also learned that I cannot control life.  That is not my job.  When I try to do this job, the Lord just sits back and snickers and then throws me another curveball until I yield to Him and what He wants me to do.

Comfort in Truths

I have a lot of thoughts, a lot of ideas, swirling around in my head.  I feel like I have plans, but trying to get those plans out is like nailing jello to a wall.  They are there, just not ready to be nailed down.  For now, I revel in the fact that my marriage is good now.  Big Daddy has stopped trying to fix it and he just listens.  My Lady loved the Lord with all her heart and might and soul…I will see her again, though I still grieve. My daddy loves the Lord and that gives me such comfort.  My meds are working.

Karole the Cat and Ted the Dog

We gave an old, broken, special needs cat home, we now have another little dog that is a senior and quite sweet.  My son is still not well.  Also, my daughter may have to leave again sooner than I would want.  I have a son (with FASD)…well…we aren’t sure what to do there.  Amazingly enough, my other boys/girls are all plugging along and praise is to God, school is almost over.  My kids have worked so hard to get all that I require done and their reward is getting done in a couple of weeks instead of a couple of months.

Purging and Planning

I’m planning on cleaning/purging/minimalizing my home…..when my home is simple and our belongings are simple, my mind clears up.  We are planning our Make a Wish trip, which will be super exciting.  We are still plugging away, and doing well at our budgeting.  Plus, next year will be our 25 wedding anniversary and our goal is to go to Europe.  There have been relationships restored between our members of our family and though my niece is not where I want her to be…..she and Jesus are becoming BFFs 🙂