Life or Something Like It

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Here is my Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney.  Please, learn from my mistakes.
Cute bohemian, floor-length knit skirt with elastic waist.
Walkie that you must wear when at work…clipped to said elastic waist of the cute skirt.
Cute bohemian skirt hitting the floor while walking through the store.
Where cute skirt, but wear tight, brief undies to clip walkie too when walking throughout the store.
Problem solved.

I mean, really, who does this.  Do you know what is sad?  That this same incident has happened more than one time.  Seriously.  I think I just don’t think because my focus is on doing my job.  If I have to work, in order to bring my son home, then I want to do a great job at it.

At the time, I was a MOD (Manager On Duty).  I was in charge of the shoe department.  Those days were a blur, but I did my job, to the best of my ability.  Sadly, I did not dress to the best of my ability.  Well, that’s a lie.  I did dress well, I just didn’t incorporate my walkie-talkie into my clothing choices for the day.

A Moment of Comfort

At least no one saw me or at least I hope they didn’t see me.  If they did, I didn’t hear any snorts of laughter coming from any area of the store.  For that, I can be thankful.

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Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Here is the story of my Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll.  Okay, so I have a 20% discount at work (YAY ME), and that coupled with a 30% off coupon and clearance items equals a huge YAY YAY YAY.

Shopping on my Lunch Break

So, on my lunch break, I decide to shop.  I randomly walk around the store thinking “where are all those cute things that I sell that are $1.97?”  Eventually, throughout my time, I find a cute pair of pants.  They are khaki pants that can either be rolled down or used as capris.  Cute.  I buy the size I normally wear (gasp) and don’t try them on.  Sadly, I loathe trying on clothes and I refuse to buy a size bigger.

All excited, I get home and try them on….they fit, but I can’t breathe or sit.  It has a snap closure, so when I do try to breathe, my snap pops 🙁

Quest in Life

In the quest for cuteness, I decided this morning, that I will wear those pants.  I anxiously rip the tags off and contemplate how I’m going to function for the next 8 hrs in these too-tight pants.  I chose a shirt that covers my gut and so if the snap blows, then I can discreetly snap them back (if you count sucking it up and turning blue to get them to snap).

Fake Spanx

I’m so excited, though, because I remembered I had fake Spanx, deep down in my drawer.  Here lies the answer.  I lay on the bed and shimmy them up, thinking I’m gonna die and there will be no way I will be able to go to the bathroom.  I pull them all the way up and then I proceed to put on my new pants.  They fit, comfortably!  Yippee!  I think I look quite stylin’ as I load up the kids and head to work.

Normal is Not for Me.

Throughout the day, I bend, lift and move…a lot…fake Spanx aren’t quite built for that and at one point, I notice the back of my Spanx (I walked past a mirrored column at work) and there was a HUGE fat roll on the back because the back of my Spanx was rolling south.  I thought I was still safe because the front was still up….then…I squatted.  Big mistake.  In one instant, my fake Spanx rolled under my fat roll and there was no easy way to “lift” them back up without going to the bathroom (which I couldn’t do because I was training a new kid and he can’t be left alone) or hide in the stock room.

Fixing my Spanx

I thought I’d be okay, even though it was incredibly uncomfortable for me until I realized that my pants were starting to give way.  I quickly got someone to cover me and rushed to the bathroom.  It took an Act. Of. Congress to get out of the spanks and then to roll them back up over my fat roll.  I got everything back up and headed back out to the floor.  I felt pretty good cause the back roll was gone and the front was way up over my fat roll.

The Fat Roll Emerges

Did you know once you “stretch” out elastic, it is never the same?  I didn’t.  Quickly, I learned that fact.  Honestly, within 10 minutes, my fake Spanx was headin’ south, and then there was a POP, and out came the fat roll.  I was very thankful to be clocking out and heading home.  Amazingly enough, I can handle anything for 40 minutes.

Big Daddy to the Rescue

I rush in, grab my sweet Big Daddy and tell him I need him upstairs.  It sparks an interest in him and he rushes upstairs.  By the time I got there, I was standing in the bedroom with my fake Spanx sucking the life out of me and sticking to my person.  I beg him to help me get out of this contraption.

I felt like Miss Scarlett, in Gone With the Wind, when Mammie is tightening her corset (although I’d make 4 of Miss Scarlett).  He got so tickled because it was *so* hard to peel off my body.  By the time it was over, I rushed to the bathroom.  Big Daddy asked why I was in such a hurry and I tried to explain to him that I hadn’t had the privilege of using the bathroom because of my need to wear cute pants.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing elastic.

Clothing Error #574

Foster to Adopt ~ International ~ Intrafamily Adoption

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist


A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist: September 21, 2011.  We all work together at the store, and we seriously write our own jokes 🙂
When we, as a family, decided that I needed to go back to work, it was hard.  I cried, A LOT because I’m a creature of habit.  I’m one that needs routine, and when it is shaken, it rocks me to my core.  Controlling?  Maybe.  I just know that I like what I like and change is not one thing that I want.
My whole world changed.
My kids went back to PS, my oldest was still being homeschooled, but our whole life turned upside down.  I was blessed when I got my job…I was trained by THE SLOWEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET, but she is definitely the sweetest thing…ever and she is genuine, honest, and stable.
When I got assigned my department, a regal-looking gentleman with kind eyes and a radio-worthy voice, caught my eye.  I wanted to know who he was because he happened to work in my department and frankly, I needed all the help I could get, not knowing anything from anything.
I introduced myself and quickly learned that he was going to school to be a deacon in his local church.  To my credit, I didn’t realize there was a “school” for a deacon.   So I went ahead, took the plunge, and blurted out my thoughts (completely unsanctified thoughts).  The question came up about where he went to church.  My sweet priest stated that he was Catholic and that they were going back to their Biblical roots of positions in the church.
Enthralled is one emotion I felt and I wanted to learn more.  I began asking questions like “so, what’s up with the Pope?”  “What do you do and why do you kneel/stand so much”  “explain the hierarchy of the church and their positions.”  He answered each and every question, and he still does, to this day.  He is very tolerant and understanding of my ignorance.  It is clear, he knows God, he knows Jesus, and he loves them both dearly.
I am blessed.
He sees me when I’m having an “off” day and tells me to get busy before I break down.  Frequently, he hugs me when I need it.  After one particularly difficult day, he told me to get busy.   He walked up to me and said with love in his eyes “this means more to me than anything and I’m giving it to you for peace.”  It was a beautiful rosary.
I knew the magnitude of this gift, but he explained the prayers that you pray using the rosary.  Finally, encouraging me to pray.  He has walked through the aisles, at work, and prayed over me.  Also, he has sent me emails of prayer.  A precious soul, this man has been to me.
Now, onto the Deaconess…she hasn’t been working with us long, but she is short, black, and a firecracker.  She is completely and utterly in love with the Lord and her family. In fact, she doesn’t see working at our job as a “job” she sees it as a mission from God.  Looking at every opportunity to witness and let people know her faith.  Amazingly, she is an encourager, a protector, a friend, a confidant and she oozes grace and dignity.
She is not shy about her faith.  For example, she has laid hands on me, with customers waiting and prayed over me.  Also, she held me when I cried, she has cried with me.  She has told me more than once “speak it into existence.”  It will be.  Watch your mouth….don’t let that negative stuff come out, don’t speak negativity into existence.  I’m continually saying something and then catching myself because I think she will hear me and whop me outside the head for expressing negativity.
Be positive, wait on God.
During the trials of this adoption…I have learned that it is okay to cry. That I can be mad, that I can be sad, that it is okay to talk to people.  I hold so much in.  I don’t like to burden people or feel like I’m regularly playing the same tune on the violin.  Between my Wednesday night girls, my Deaconess, and my Priest… I’m surrounded by love, prayers, and understanding during my hard times.  Sadly, there have been so very many.
Our trial is soon coming to an end.
God will bring my child home before the year mark is up.  I’m speaking that out, in the Name of Jesus.  I’m so thankful that during this time, God has seen fit to bless me, at work with such influential people of faith.  He has blessed me with a strong family of faith and a strong church of faith.  When your daughter sends you messages at work that says “mom, I love you, and remember to CLAIM IT.”  I know that God is working and He is showing my family and me His grace and mercies throughout this challenging year.
A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist
The year is coming to an end… son will be home by next month.  I’m choosing to believe.  These people will forever be a part of Jude’s story.  My priest saw me through the darkest of times.  He prayed faithfully for me while we folded jeans at JC Penney’s.
I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to place His people in my path.  They have loved, supported, and encouraged me along the way.

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