Life or Something Like It

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney

Here is my Clothing Error #574 at JCPenney. Please, learn from my mistakes.


Cute bohemian, floor-length knit skirt with elastic waist.




Walkie that you must wear when at work is clipped to the elastic waist of the cute skirt.




Cute bohemian skirt hitting the floor while walking through the store.




Wear a cute skirt, but wear tight, brief undies to clip a walkie when walking throughout the store.


Problem solved.


I mean, who does this. Do you know what is sad? That this same incident has happened more than one time. Seriously. I don’t think because my focus is on doing my job. If I have to work to bring my son home, I want to do a great job.

At the time, I was a MOD (Manager On Duty). I was in charge of the shoe department. Those days were a blur, but I did my job to the best of my ability. Sadly, I did not dress to the best of my knowledge. Well, that’s a lie. I did dress well. I didn’t incorporate my walkie-talkie into my clothing choices for the day.

A Moment of Comfort

At least no one saw me, or at least I hope they didn’t see me. If they did, I didn’t hear laughter or snorts from any store area. For that, I can be thankful. There was also a Spanx instead.

Did you know that Spanx is supposed to keep it all up and in when you are on the fluffier side of life? It’s true. So, armed with that knowledge, I got a fake pair of Spanx. My greatest desire was to wear them so that all my stuff was “up and in.”

They didn’t tell you what happens when the perfect storm occurs. A perfect storm is when you buy a size too small, have on too tight clothes (sans Spanx), and are hot. It creates chaos under your clothes.

As I was walking around the store, I noticed this weird phenomenon. It probably looked much like toothpaste being squeezed out of a tube. Here I am, slimmer than normal, and suddenly flat Stanley begins to reinflate. Pop one, and a boob come out. Pop two, the other boob. Pop three, your upper-fat roll, and then it is a series of continued poppage until your fake Spanx is holding the same space as your underwear.

I won’t even go into how long it took me to get OUT of those things in the ladies’ bathroom—so many tears and baby powder…along with layers of skin. I finally got out and realized my clothes didn’t fit without the fake Spanx, so I bought another outfit to put on. My body needed to breathe, bless its heart.


life or something like it,jcpenney,fashion,fashion faux pas,fashion faux pas examples,fashion's biggest faux pas,biggest fashion faux pas,Spanx,bohemian skirts

Life or Something Like It

Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll

Here is the story of my Cute Pair Capris VS Fat Roll. Okay, I have a 20% discount at work (YAY ME). That coupled with a 30% off coupon and clearance items equals a huge YAY YAY YAY.

Shopping during my Lunch Break

So, on my lunch break, I decide to shop. I randomly walk around the store thinking, “where are all those cute things I sell for $1.97?” Eventually, throughout my time, I found a cute pair of pants. They are khaki pants that can either be rolled down or used as capris. Cute. I buy the size I usually wear (gasp) and don’t try them on. Sadly, I loathe trying on clothes and refuse to buy a bigger size.

All excited, I get home and try them on. They fit, but I can’t breathe or sit. It has a snap closure, so when I do try to breathe, my snap pops 🙁

Quest in Life

In the quest for cuteness, I decided to wear those pants this morning. I anxiously rip the tags off and contemplate how I will function for the next 8 hrs in these too-tight pants. I chose a shirt that covers my gut, so if the snap blows, I can discreetly snap them back (if you count sucking it up and turning blue to get them to snap).

Fake Spanx

I’m so excited, though, because I remembered I had fake Spanx deep in my drawer. Here lies the answer. I lay on the bed and shimmy them up, thinking I’m going to die and there will be no way I can go to the bathroom. I pull them up, and then I proceed to put on my new pants. They fit comfortably! Yippee! I think I look pretty stylin’ as I load up the kids and head to work.

Normal is Not for Me.

Throughout the day, I bend, lift and move…a lot…fake Spanx isn’t entirely built for that. At one point, I noticed the back of my Spanx (I walked past a mirrored column at work). There was a HUGE fat roll on the back because the back of my Spanx was rolling south. I thought I was safe because the front was still up, but I squatted—big mistake. In one instant, my fake Spanx rolled under my fat roll, and there was no easy way to “lift” them back up without going to the bathroom (which I couldn’t do because I was training a new kid, and he couldn’t be left alone) or hide in the stock room.

Fixing my Spanx

I thought I’d be okay, even though it was incredibly uncomfortable until I realized that my pants were starting to give way. I quickly got someone to cover me and rushed to the bathroom. It took an Act. Of. Congress to get out of the spanks and then to roll them back up over my fat roll. I got everything back up and headed back out to the floor. I felt pretty good cause the back roll was gone, and the front was way up over my fat roll.

The Fat Roll Emerges

Did you know once you “stretch” out elastic, it is never the same? I didn’t. Quickly, I learned that fact. Honestly, within 10 minutes, my fake Spanx was headin’ south, and then there was a POP, and out came the fat roll. I was very thankful to be clocking out and heading home. Amazingly enough, I can handle anything for 40 minutes.

Big Daddy to the Rescue

I rush in, grab my sweet Big Daddy and tell him I need him upstairs. It sparks an interest in him, and he rushes upstairs. By the time I got there, I was standing in the bedroom with my fake Spanx. It was sucking the life out of me and sticking to my person. I beg him to help me get out of this contraption.

I felt like Miss Scarlett in Gone With the Wind when Mammie tightens her corset (although I’d make 4 of Miss Scarlett). He got so tickled because it was so hard to peel off my body. By the time it was over, I had rushed to the bathroom. Big Daddy asked why I was in such a hurry, and I tried to explain to him that I hadn’t had the privilege of using the bathroom because of my need to wear cute pants.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing elastic.


Adoption, Faith Journey

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist

A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist


A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist: September 21, 2011. We all work together at the store, and we seriously write our jokes 🙂


It was hard when we, as a family, decided that I needed to return to work. I cried, A LOT because I’m a creature of habit. I need routine, and it rocks me to my core when it is shaken. Controlling? Maybe. I know that I like what I like, and change is not one thing that I want.


My whole world changed.


My kids went back to PS, and my oldest was still being homeschooled, but our whole life turned upside down. I was blessed when I got my job. THE SLOWEST WOMAN trained me ON THE PLANET, but she is the sweetest thing…ever, genuine, honest, and stable.


When I got assigned my department, a regal-looking gentleman with kind eyes and a radio-worthy voice caught my eye. I wanted to know who he was because he happened to work in my department, and frankly, I needed all the help I could get, not knowing anything from anything.




I introduced myself and quickly learned that he was attending school to be a deacon in his local church. To my credit, I didn’t realize there was a “school” for a deacon. So I went ahead, took the plunge, and yelled out my thoughts (completely unsanctified thoughts). The question came up about where he went to church. My sweet Priest stated that he was Catholic and that they were going back to their Biblical roots of positions in the church.


Enthralled is one emotion I felt, and I wanted to learn more. I began asking questions like, “so, what’s up with the Pope?” “What do you do, and why do you kneel/stand so much?” Please, “explain the hierarchy of the church and their positions.” He answered every question, and he still does to this day. He is very tolerant and understanding of my ignorance. Clearly, he knows God and Jesus and loves them both dearly.


I am blessed.


He sees me when I’m having an “off” day and tells me to get busy before I break down. Frequently, he hugs me when I need it. After one tough day, he told me to get busy. He walked up to me and said with love in his eyes, “this means more to me than anything, and I’m giving it to you for peace.” It was a beautiful rosary. This link also shows you how to pray the rosary.


I knew the magnitude of this gift, but he explained the prayers that you pray using the rosary. Finally, it encouraged me to pray. He has walked through the aisles, at work, and prayed over me. Also, he has sent me emails of prayer. A precious soul, this man has been to me.




Now, onto the Deaconess. She hasn’t been working with us long, but she is a short firecracker of a woman. She is completely and utterly in love with the Lord and her family. She doesn’t see working at our job as a “job.” She sees it as a mission from God. She looks at every opportunity to witness and tell people about her faith. Amazingly, she is an encourager, a protector, a friend, and a confidant and oozes grace and dignity.


She is not shy about her faith. For example, she has laid hands on me, with customers waiting, and prayed over me. Also, she held me when I cried. She has cried with me. She has told me repeatedly, “speak it into existence.” It will be. Watch your mouth and don’t let that negative stuff come out, don’t speak negativity into existence. I’m continually saying something and then catching myself because I think she will hear me and whop me outside the head for expressing negativity.


Be positive. Wait on God.


During this adoption’s trials, I learned that it is okay to cry. That I can be mad, that I can be sad, that it is okay to talk to people. I hold so much inside. I don’t like to burden people or feel like I’m regularly playing the same tune on the violin. Between my Wednesday night girls, my Deaconess, and my Priest, I’m surrounded by love, prayers, and understanding during my hard times. Sadly, there have been so very many.


Our trial is soon coming to an end.


God will bring my child home before the year mark is up. I’m speaking that out in the Name of Jesus. I’m so thankful that God has seen fit to bless me at work with such influential people of faith during this time. He has blessed me with a strong family of faith and a strong church of faith. When your daughter sends you messages at work that says, “mom, I love you, and remember to CLAIM IT.” I know that God is working, and He is showing my family and me His grace and mercies throughout this challenging year.


A Priest, A Deaconess, and a Baptist


The year is ending, and my son will be home by next month. I’m choosing to believe. These people will forever be a part of J’s story. My Priest saw me through the darkest of times. He prayed faithfully for me while we folded jeans at JC Penney’s.


I am so thankful that the Lord placed His people in my path. They have loved, supported, and encouraged me along the way.