Memories with My Mom
Memories with My Mom. The earliest memories I have of my mom is when she would rock me and sing silly old songs that would make me giggle. We would play hide and seek and we would sit outside on the glider and swing for a good long time.
Snuggles in the bed, playing with Barbie dolls or watching me dress up about a million times just because. Riding our bikes down the dead-end street and the car rides we would take to Granny’s house or Jojo’s house.
I love my mom.
She is the best kind of mom a kid could have. My mom and dad were strict but they made rules up for me to keep us in a structured house, and we always managed to have fun. She always took me to church on Sundays and then AWANA on Wednesdays, she homeschooled us for the longest time which I know at times must have been challenging for her with three kids.
We would always do fun things together as a family and we were all close. My mom always opened her home and heart to foster children and kids that we eventually adopted into our family which caused us to grow in numbers.
I must have made my mom’s life challenging at times because I was a considerably difficult child at times. There were a lot of things wrong in my life. Our relationship has hit lots of bumps in the road. I am very stubborn and not willing to try new things because Sadly, I am always afraid I will mess it up and embarrass myself.
She gave me so many things that I asked for (begged for) without hesitation because she knew I wanted it. I never truly appreciated all of her wisdom and knowledge because I always think my way is best and that I know what I am doing is right.
So many mistakes.
I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt my mother on more than one occasion, and yet she still loves me and she still forgives me. No matter what. I love my mom. I love her kind and gentle soul, her willingness to help others at moments of notice, the way she cooks with love and affection (she is the most amazing cook), how she is still in love with my dad after years of being married to him, the fact that she still loves me even after all that I have put her through.
So many tears.
I can still see the look on her face when I told her I screwed up again. She gave me so many chances that I honestly did not deserve. She has been there for me through joyous occasions, heartbreak, funny moments, and moments of pride when I do manage to accomplish something the right way.
She has helped me learn how to communicate. To use my words even though that is sometimes very hard for me. Sometimes, I do not know how to properly articulate at times. She has been there for me through my depression and anxiety. Honestly, I do not know how to handle it properly yet. She has been there for me throughout my whole school education. Also, she has supported me during the hardest moments of college. She is the best person even if she says she isn’t, she really is.
I do not care what she says. She is an excellent mother who is doing the best she can under certain circumstances that are out of her control. We are the very definition of a blended family. All kinds of issues, mental health problems, physical problems, trauma, etc. And she is so strong to deal with everything she has dealt with in the past.
Hindsight is 20/20
I only wish that I was not the cause of some of her heartache. Also, I wish that I had just listened to her instead of trying to do things my way. I wish that I had not asked for all of those things just because I wanted it. Honestly, I have prayed so hard that our relationship would be strengthened. That moment, I vowed to her that I would always be honest and communicate with her whenever she asked, even if it is hard for me.
I have admitted some things to her that I can not even accept about myself. We have been open with each other and we have gotten so much closer than we used to be before which I am so thankful for. God answered my prayers. I am gaining wisdom from her and my communication has gotten better with time and patience.
She is my rock and the one person I can trust to never judge me. I know she loves me with all of her heart and I know that she prays for me every night. I can only hope that one day I will be like her. She is an amazing person.
Mom, I love you more than words can even describe.
I am so blessed and thankful that God chose you and Dad to be my parents. I am so sorry for all the times I made you cry over me. But I am thankful for all the times you have been there for me, the times you have forgiven me, and the times that you have extended grace towards me. You inspire me with your strength every day.
Mom, you are always the one to go without a moment’s hesitation to help us kids. Lately, to sit with us in the hospital for days on end. You have such a giving soul and I have seen it through the relationships and friendships that you have had in the past. I can only hope that one day I will be like you.
Thank you for everything you have done for me and you continue to do for me every single day. You are a gift and a treasure and I will love you for the rest of my days on Earth. Know your worth (like you tell me everyday) and how much of a blessing you are to your family and friends because of your giving heart.
I love you, momma.
Always and forever.