I did it! I did it! I did it! Blogmas is DONE. Geez. I am so glad this is over. Some people go through the end of the month but not me. I set out a goal to make it to Christmas and I made it. See. I can accomplish something!
We had a great Christmas. It was Charleigh’s first and she just makes everything better. To think that next year, I will have 2 grandchildren is just too much for my brain to handle. Charleigh will be almost 2 and Apollo will be 7 months. My Christmas tree will never be the same!
I am totally all for that!
Food and Fun
My kids seemed to enjoy what they got and they all pitched in to help clean up the mess. It’s been a while since we have had a stressfree Christmas, so this was nice. It would have been all better had all my kids been able to be home, but I will take what I can get. I had 6 here and 1.5 grandchildren. That makes for a happy Lolli! We ate good food, made giant messes, assembled many things.
Change of Plans
We had a bit of an alteration of plans. Normally, we go to my mother-in-laws on Christmas Eve and frost cookies. Then, on Christmas Day, we go over for lunch. Due to Co-vid, we were not able to go right now. So, we had to improvise.
I still made cookies on Christmas Eve. We did chili that night and I prepped some stuff for brunch on Christmas Day. Then, my bigs started filtering in and we ate brunch on and off. It was warm outside, so cornhole was played and Hunter played in the sand and everywhere else. That night, we did a pork shoulder and went to see the lights at the park.
I am looking forward to a new year. On January 6, 2022 we will celebrate Ethiopian Christmas. January also brings one surgery, lots of basketball, and the beginning of birthday season. I have lots of thoughts and hopes for the new year, but as always, we will take it as it comes.
Well, here we are in a new year. Can you hear the angels singing? I sure can. For this year, I am going to do a Blog Remodel in a New None Sucky 2021. Really, that won’t mean a lot to my readers, so no big changes for you. Working on color schemes and themes and such. Checking broken links, photos, rewriting some things, deleting duplicate posts, and such. Just cleaning up. After 10 years of blogging, it is time.
What Would You Like More Of?
Is there something you would like more of? I’m really working through self-care and emotional healing from trauma, so that is at the forefront of my mind. Healing through the trauma of childhood, adolescence, adulthood, all the big T and little t traumas, so to speak. Really focusing on the metaphysical reasoning behind some physical ailments. From family to friendships…transformation.
Food and Lifestyle Changes
Also, we are having to get serious about our food around here since all the new medical stuff has come up. Good times. Big Daddy has had a new diagnosis. Jude has had a couple. I’m struggling with some foot and shoulder issues. Blah blah blah. Part of it is getting older (for us parents), part of it is nutrition, and part of it is just, again trauma. So maybe some trial and error recipes and such will appear.
Working Towards Minimalism
Yes, there is that word again. I have sorted and plugged away for years. That is how I work through things but geez, with all these kiddos, things continue to accumulate. I continue to sort, throw away, consign, and donate. It is a work in progress.
Honestly, I want to get to a point where when Bart and I start getting older, I don’t want my kids to worry about things. Health and death tend to bring out the “best” in people and I want to eliminate as much stress as humanly possible for them. Morbid, I know but necessary.
Family Growth and Changes
So many things happened in 2020. We are not the exception to the many families who experienced trials and tribulations during a horrible year. There were some glorious moments, but man were there some sucky ones too. Our family is continuing to shift and change every moment.
This year, we are adding 2 new additions to our family. We have one daughter having a life-altering event with a fella she met. Another daughter is having another life-altering event welcoming our first grandchild into the world in March.
We have kids moving out and moving on. Kids finishing school and growing and learning more about themselves. Lots and lots of things happening.
So, if you see a lag in posting, think nothing of it. I’m working on the backend of the blog. If you see broken links or no pictures, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org I will get it fixed. I hope to continue to do reviews and giveaways, as well as, guest blogging. Of course, we have a multitude of medical issues that I hope to educate others on.
Just wanted to give everyone an insight as to what is going on in my world.
It is a Happy Happy New Year!!! I’m SO happy to see you. The last couple of years have been….challenging….that is one word, I can say a few more, but due to the fact that I must be careful of what I say, I choose to say “challenging”.
It has been a couple of years of lots of pain, lots of trials, and lots of searching. Searching for the truth. Trying to believe what I’ve been taught and have learned throughout my life, as a Christian. I can now, with no uncertainty, say I know what it means to have faith the size of a mustard seed.
An Explanation of our Journey
I was asked to explain, one day, in Sunday School, the journey that I have taken with our adoption. My pastor (also my Sunday School teacher) asked if I could verbalize the highs and lows. I’m one to stifle emotion, the best I can. I have always felt that crying was a sign of weakness (thanks to daddy for the policeman mentality). That it is better to keep things to myself rather than “share.” Honestly, I’m not a sharer.
My Sweet Boy
I was sitting, in class, next to my sweet boy. At that moment, I could feel the emotion coming up from my toes. I looked at Big Daddy and I knew that I was fixing to lose my composure. He touched my hand. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye, but I looked at my son. My highs, the child sitting next to me, hands down.
My lows. I tried to explain it this way, in my head, it made lots more sense. Honestly, I’m not sure how it came out of my mouth. Simply I stated that had it not been for my husband, sisters, and mama. Also, those who prayed for me diligently and the love of my children. Oh, let’s not forget the knowledge and love of my God that I would not be sitting in that chair, at that moment. Period, the end. That is hard to admit.
I guess I didn’t realize how low my lows were and how much they affected every aspect of my life. I do know, however, from hearing other people explain my disposition, that I wasn’t very good. That saddens me. I know my strength is found in the Lord, but I didn’t really know where my Lord was. I thought He had left me, but then there would be a glimpse of His presence and of Him working. That small glimpse, of Him, kept me going, even just the shell of me. I could get out of bed and function.
Wisdom of a 13 Yr Old
I now know that He didn’t go anywhere. It was me that went. I veered from His path and I learned that that is not the path I want to go down. It was very dark and lonesome. It was hard and dry. A very very sad place to dwell. I let life pass me by. Sadly, I let my kids pass me by.
Truth be told, I worked on autopilot…just enough to get by. I would hear Peach say “mom, you don’t smile anymore.” That cut me to the core, but I understood what she was saying. For a long while, I had lost my smile and I didn’t know where it was. I would get voice messages and texts from Peach (who is 13) that stated “claim it, mom…believe it. It will happen.” The strength of a child carried me.
Guilt on Good Days
Also, on this journey, I found myself feeling guilty for having a good day. I felt like I needed to stay in the pit of despair over our journey and to have a good day, I was somehow slighting Abinet. What a lie from the pit of hell. Wow, the fact that I fell for that, wow… As my sister pointed out, his life has not changed one bit.
He gets up, he eats, he plays, he naps, he eats more and then he goes to bed. This was his life. He now knows different. I do because I’ve been to his country and then I’ve been home… 2-way different places and I knew what he was missing, but he didn’t. He was happy, healthy, loved, and well taken care of. I’m very very thankful for that.
Loving Through Pictures
Another “low” and “high”, at the same time, was getting pictures of him. I loved seeing him, but I didn’t like seeing him grow up through pictures. Seeing bumps, bruises, scars, rashes, tears, laughter, joy, happiness, I was missing all of that. Sadly, I missed him losing his first 2 teeth. I missed a very long time because of the choice to follow myself instead of allowing God to do His will. There were many moments I interjected my will. It was the natural consequence of me being selfish.
I have praised His Name, every day, for allowing Abinet to be in our home. I praise Him for the easy transition. Also, for the love that he shows us and for being able to love him freely. I thank Him for being healthy and funny. For eating and sleeping, for simply breathing and being. He completes our family and why the Lord allowed us to wait for 22 mths, is beyond me.
So Much Went Wrong
Why every single thing that could go wrong, went wrong. He has a reason, He has a purpose and His ways are higher than mine. I may never know, this side of Heaven why this all happened. By the time I get to Heaven, I won’t care. Right now, I sit in joy, I sit in peace, I sit with a smile on my face to have all my children under one roof.
So Much To Learn
I still have so much to learn and I’m anxious to learn it. I’m anxious to see what tomorrow brings and what this new year brings and then I’m reminded of this verse that pierced my heart so many years ago.
This is my go-to Scripture for this season of my life. So, here’s to the new year and being anxious for nothing. Happy New Year! I hope that you consider adopting a child either from the foster care system or international adoption. Please consider adopting an older child adoption or a special needs adoption.