No Thanks to You Part 3
No Thanks to You Part 3. It was such a shock to me. It came without warning. I honestly don’t understand. Because that morning, it was business as usual. We were doing quality assurance and fixing simple mistakes on the computer. What was that you said to me?
If you did your job right the first time, your mistakes wouldn’t be on this list? I could count maybe five mistakes out of hundreds that I could claim. And they were as simple to fix as checking a box. But you felt the need to the point that out to me. You worked me to the very end.
That was hurtful.
When you said that to me, I cried silently at my desk. It wasn’t the first time. I cried silently because of the stress you put me under, and this job put me under. The anxiety and the depression were insurmountable at the time. As one does, I put on a brave face and carried on. I didn’t let you see me sweat.
His face, as you fired me, was that of sorrow. That he didn’t want to be in this position, he looked at me with pity while it seemed you were doing a victory dance. Was I that bad of an employee for you to find joy in letting me go? You were so callous it was almost cruel. At least he had some sense. He knew I was a good worker, and I don’t think he truly understood your decision.
Because she was always in your ear about something, she was intimidated by me. She hated me. Therefore, you had to hate me. I blame you and her. I do not blame him. He did nothing wrong. He was just a poor, unfortunate person to be in that situation.
I can’t believe that you joked and laughed as I was cleaning out my desk. I was crying, and you were laughing. That is unbelievably cruel. He walked me out, and he was genuinely sorry for the situation. But you, you were cruel.
What Happened Next
So, I need to educate you on what happened to me after you fired me. What is the aftermath of your decision to let me go from my job? No wonder people hit such deep lows when they lose a job. That hurts if you put 100% of your efforts into a career and are just dumped.
I had very little money. What money I did save went to get a new apartment. I had to move. I couldn’t stay where I was anymore. It took everything I had. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I felt like such a failure. Even with the meds, I was depressed. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to live with myself.
Choices are a funny thing, and we make them every day. But our choices affect those around us. Your choices affected me negatively in a bad way. I was already depressed, and your choice made it so much worse. When it rains, it pours, and you were the last thundercloud. The straw that broke the camels’ back.
I was a broken human. Frankly, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I remember being so sad. So numb. I didn’t feel anything anymore. Nothing made me happy. I was in such a bottomless pit I didn’t think anyone could save me. Honestly, I want you to know that. I hope my life will be a lesson to you, what man meant to harm, God intended for good.
It wasn’t good for a long time.
God knew that it was only by His grace that I survived that period of my life. He knew that was the worst possible job I could be in. He knew that was a bad fit for me and my personality, though I was good at it. So really, it became a blessing. But don’t think for one second that I don’t still hold resentment towards you. Even my ex-co-worker can’t stand you. No one can. Because you are rude, you talk over people and rub people the wrong way, not many people like you.
Without your poor choice
I would not have made it to the job I have now. I wouldn’t have met my forever love. My job now is awesome, and I am very good at it. I am highly respected by everyone that knows me. And well-liked by many in my profession. I tell people how it is, I do not judge them, I do not micro-manage, and I am not micromanaged.
I am free to do things my way. And my way works. I am still medicated, but I am medicated for the best. It helps me cope with those dark days. Those days are so uncertain, and I never know when one will come up. But they are manageable now.
My life is better now, no thanks to you.