Let’s Talk About Adult Bullies and Peer Pressure
Let’s Talk About Adult Bullies and Peer Pressure and the fact that it does not end in your schooling years. Bullying is horrible, not matter what stage of life you are in at the time. It starts at a young age and then gets worse when puberty hits. Then, your high school years they aren’t called bullies, they are called cliques.
Frankly, it is all stupid. I never fit in at school with any clique, ever. My one friend found a new set of friends that liked to drink and do other things. My other friend quit school at 16 because he got his girlfriend pregnant and decided to be a drug dealer.
I stayed to myself, kept my head down, tried to fit in, and it didn’t work. I was made fun of from everything from my clothes, hair, makeup, car I drove, and the classes I took. One time, someone told me that I breathed too loudly, my freckles were distracting, and I walked with my feet out like a duck.
The Stupidity is Real
I think that is why I am drawn to those that are looking a little disheveled, down on their luck, and struggling with life. Their ducks are not in a row…they have a bunch of rabid squirrels running everywhere. Those are my people. One of the best things I ever did was go to AA. I went with a friend (this was for my master’s class) and we went for 12 weeks.
“Hi, I’m Brandi and I’m not an addict.” Cheers and applause would erupt and I would hear “Hi, Brandi, welcome and we are so glad you are here and not an addict.” It was the same with Weight Watchers. They literally clapped and said “Hi Brandi, we are so glad you are here and fat. Welcome!” Honestly, it feels good to be accepted for who you are in situations like that.
Those were my people. Sadly, my husband said I couldn’t go to AA anymore because most of the attendees were his clients and he didn’t want them to know. I get that. For WW, I lost the weight I was supposed to and just quit going because of the cost.
Here I am, almost 51 years old and struggling with this issue. How pathetic is that to even utter those words? I often stop and think “hurt people hurt people.” Seriously, think about it. When someone is hurting, they will hurt others to deflect from their pain. It is sad. I do that but I have had to be really mindful to capture myself and not let something get the better of me.
The issue I am facing will fade away, in time. I stay to myself and try not to ask questions or make waves. In short, I make myself small instead of being myself. Granted, I am loud and I love to help, when I can but some people don’t want help and loudness is a trigger. I am trying to respect that aspect.
Lately, I have decided to just be me and be damned with the words that come at me. I am tired of dulling my shine. Now, will I be rude or disrespectful? Absolutely not. If there is a time when I need to apologize, I will do so even if I might not agree. I will do it to make things easier. At the end of the day, that other person has to figure out what it is about me that triggers them. If it is something I can work on, I will but if it is just who I am (as a human) then you need to figure it out and let me be.
In the End
Be kind. It really is that simple. If you don’t have something nice to say, just shut your mouth. Do not guilt someone into doing something they do not want to do (peer pressure). Please do not make someone feel bad because you think they are handling a situation in a way that doesn’t suit you. You can give advice but only when it is asked for. Be an ear, love each other, do not say ‘I told you so.’
Love each other. Meet them where the are at in life. Life is hard enough without adults bullying others and making another person feel less than. You are better than that. I am better than that. Honestly, I am trying to capture my thoughts, be mindful of my speech (with the exception of today when I lost my cool). God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth. That means you are to listen twice as much as you open your trap. When you do open it, make sure it is laced with the love of God.