Life or Something Like It

This is What Greeted Me This Morning

This is What Greeted Me This Morning

This is What Greeted Me This Morning

I got a phone call from our friends across the street. This is What Greeted Me This Morning. I was snuggling up to Big Daddy, and we (all of us) were having a movie night and enjoying “The Adventures in Babysitting” (with the assistance of our lovely clear play machine). Well, my neighbor is not the quietest person on the face of the planet, and his voice BOOMS.

  1. Pig.


Anyway, I heard the words “lost” and “pig” in the same sentence. I looked at Big Daddy and asked him if he said he had lost a pig, and if he did, then when, on earth, did he get a pig? Her name is Petunia, and she was a runaway. So, all five kids excitedly get on their shoes. The kids began to turn on all the outside lights. Then they headed out to search for the lost pig, to no avail. Petunia was nowhere to be found. Sadness.

Flank the Pig


I thought little else of it last night. I went onto the bed, and this scenario greeted me this morning. I got up to take the three youngers to school. I’m not a typical “get ’em to school” mom where every hair is in place. I’m a throw on your pants, pull your Tina Turner hair in a ponytail, giant zit shining on my chin, and no bra kind of mom. We jump in the car, pull out, and I slow down, thinking, “did I just see a giant pig?” 


Why, yes, I did. So the kids and I try to flank said the pig. She is HUGE, and I “assumed” she would be slow. I was severely mistaken. Just cause your fat doesn’t mean you can’t move like lightning. A woman, looking like I do, with no “support” because just running the kids to school doesn’t require putting support on….it is not a pretty sight. 

Not. At. All.


Let’s say…………pig 1, Brandi and kids 0.


Get the kids to school, and what do I see, on the way home, but the pig, in the neighbor’s driveway, flanked by two dogs. Easy as pie. I stop, gather the “girls” up for another run at the pig, and off we go.


Pig 2, Brandi 0


I stop at my friend’s house, and she is just as disheveled as I am. I’m greeted at the door by Precious Child #1. I could eat that little girl up. I love it when someone is *so* happy to see me that her whole face lights up. She lets me in, and mommy has just rolled out of bed, holding Precious Child #2. I’m in Heaven, sheer Heaven. I was rocking one baby, sitting with the other, watching Tarzan, and being in the company of a friend. I tell her of my “issue” with the pig. She doesn’t seem concerned, so I sit and rock.

Is That the Pig Running Down the Road?


Soon, I realize that I have to be ready for a visitor at 9:00, and I’m looking, not appropriate. Big Daddy’s only request was that I brush my hair and teeth and wear a bra. I passed on my girls to their sweet mama and headed out. As I’m getting in the car, I look up in the distance to see that stupid pig running down the road at full speed. 


Pig Spotted


I knock on my friend’s window, tell her where the pig is headed, and she flies out the door with an infant in hand, a toddler trailing behind her. I pick up Precious #1 cause she doesn’t have shoes, and as we are standing in the front yard, we are both squinting down the road to see the black speck that is Petunia. She hands me Precious #2 and flies in the house to get her shoes on. I take both girls to my house to feed #1 breakfast and smell #2. In the process, I get Peach out the front door with her bike, and she heads out to help corral the pig.

Pig 3, friend & kid 0
Let the games begin.