Tag: Authenticity

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Character Over Reputation

Brandi C

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Character Over Reputation: Who You Are vs. What They Think

There’s a quote that has always stuck with me on Character Over Reputation:

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

In a world that thrives on perception—on likes, shares, and curated images—it’s easy to get caught up in how we’re seen rather than who we truly are. But when all is said and done, it’s not the opinions of others that define us; it’s the integrity of our hearts, the choices we make when no one is watching, and the values we stand by.

The Fragility of Reputation

Reputation is fickle. It can be built over years and destroyed in minutes. People will talk, assumptions will be made, and sometimes, no matter what we do, someone will misunderstand us. If we live only to protect our reputation, we’ll find ourselves trapped in the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing, constantly adjusting to the shifting opinions of others.

But character? Character endures.

The Strength of Character

Character is the foundation of who we are. It’s revealed in the quiet moments, in the way we treat people who can do nothing for us, in our ability to own our mistakes and grow from them. It’s the unwavering commitment to our values, even when no one is watching.

When we prioritize character over reputation, we walk in authenticity. We stop performing for approval and start living in truth. And the best part? Over time, a strong character often shapes a strong reputation. But even if it doesn’t, we can rest in the assurance that we are living with integrity.

Who Are You When No One Is Looking?

Ask yourself:

  • Do my actions align with my values?

  • Am I being honest with myself and others?

  • Do I treat people with kindness, regardless of their status?

  • Would I be proud of my choices even if no one ever knew about them?

Because at the end of the day, reputation may open doors, but character determines whether we belong there.

Focus less on being admired and more on being honorable. Less on being liked and more on being real. Reputation may shift, but character remains. And that is what truly matters.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

The Reason We Struggle with Insecurity

Brandi C

puedo y lo haré (1)

The Reason We Struggle with Insecurity

We live in a world where comparison is just a scroll away. Social media, magazines, and even casual conversations often showcase the best moments of others’ lives—the vacations, the celebrations, the picture-perfect family outings. And in contrast, we sit with our behind-the-scenes reality, filled with chaos, self-doubt, and imperfections. As the quote wisely states, “The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reels.”

The Illusion of Perfection

We rarely see the full picture of someone else’s life. We see curated content—filtered images, success stories, and happy moments. What we don’t see are the struggles, the failures, the moments of self-doubt. It’s easy to believe that everyone else has it all together while we’re barely holding on. But the truth? No one’s life is as perfect as it appears online or even in real life.

The Danger of Comparison

When we measure our worth against someone else’s best moments, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We start to feel like we’re not doing enough, not successful enough, not happy enough. But comparison is a thief—it robs us of joy, gratitude, and self-acceptance. Instead of celebrating our own progress, we fixate on what we lack.

Embracing Your Own Journey

The key to overcoming insecurity isn’t found in trying to match someone else’s highlight reel—it’s in embracing our own story, messy parts and all. Growth happens in the behind-the-scenes moments: the late-night struggles, the hard conversations, the small victories no one claps for. Those moments matter just as much as the ones we proudly share.

Instead of comparing, try shifting your focus:

  • Celebrate your own progress, no matter how small.
  • Recognize that everyone faces struggles, even if they don’t show them.
  • Take breaks from social media if it fuels feelings of inadequacy.
  • Practice gratitude for what you have instead of longing for what you don’t.

You Are More Than Enough

Your journey is uniquely yours, and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. There’s beauty in authenticity, in showing up as you are, imperfections and all. Next time you catch yourself comparing, remember: someone else’s highlight reel doesn’t make your reality any less valuable. You are enough, just as you are.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Be Unapologetically You

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services (6)

Be Unapologetically You

The world will always have opinions about who you should be, how you should act, and what path you should take. But here’s the truth—you are not here to meet someone else’s expectations. Instead, you are here to be fully, unapologetically, and authentically yourself.

Embracing Who You Are

Being yourself doesn’t mean being reckless or unkind. Rather, it means standing firm in your values, embracing your quirks, and refusing to shrink yourself for the comfort of others. You were not created to fit inside someone else’s mold; instead, you were made to be exactly who you are.

Grace and Dignity in Authenticity

Some may think that being unapologetically yourself means being harsh or dismissive. However, the key is to carry yourself with grace and dignity. You don’t have to argue for your worth, nor do you have to prove anything to anyone. Instead, you walk in confidence, knowing that those meant to be in your life will love and respect you as you are.

The Power of Boundaries

✔ Know Your Worth – You do not need external validation to confirm your value. Instead, trust in yourself. ✔ Set Healthy Boundaries – It’s okay to say no. In fact, protecting your peace is essential. ✔ Surround Yourself with Supportive People – Choose relationships that encourage and uplift you, rather than those that drain your energy. ✔ Let Go of People-Pleasing – You will never make everyone happy, and that’s okay. More importantly, you deserve to prioritize your own happiness. ✔ Love Yourself Fiercely – Speak to yourself with kindness and appreciation, just as you would to a dear friend.

Other People’s Opinions Are Not Your Problem

What others think of you is a reflection of them, not you. If someone has an issue with who you are, that’s their burden to carry—not yours. Rather than worrying about their judgment, focus on living in alignment with your truth. You are not responsible for making yourself smaller so others feel comfortable.

Live Boldly, Love Yourself

Be unapologetically you. Show up in this world with confidence, love yourself without hesitation, and set the boundaries that protect your peace. Ultimately, those who are meant to be in your life will celebrate you for exactly who you are. And those who can’t? Let them go with grace.

You are enough—just as you are.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Preconceived Notions: More Than Meets the Eye

Brandi C

Preconceived Notions: More Than Meets the Eye

i’m not interested in whether you’ve stood with the great; i’m interested in whether you’ve sat with the broken.

Preconceived notions—they’re something, aren’t they?

I remember walking into my clinic one day and feeling every set of eyes on me. At my previous job, I was required to dress professionally for my outpatient clients. But I also worked as a therapist in a 30-day inpatient residential treatment facility. Two vastly different worlds, yet I had learned how to balance both.

That particular day, I had outpatient clients to see, but I also needed to check in on anywhere from 7 to 16 inpatient clients. As I walked into the clinic to pull a client, I saw the looks—“You are not one of us.” I get that a lot.

That day, I was in my professional attire, wearing a wig (I lost my hair when I started this job), makeup, and jewelry. I looked the part, but inside, I was screaming. My outside didn’t match my inside.

I pulled my client aside, and her expression said it all—disdain, skepticism, judgment. She didn’t hold back, either. “You’re judging me in your fancy clothes and dolled-up hair,” she said.

As she talked, I quietly started removing my jewelry. Then my sweater, revealing my tattoos. I wiped off my makeup. And finally, I pulled off my wig and casually hung it on my boss’s computer.

The shock on her face was priceless.

In that moment, I saw her walls come down. I shared a bit of my own story, and I watched her eyes well with tears. She looked at me, softer now, and said, “You are one of us.”

Friends, we are all the same. We all bleed when we’re cut. We all turn to dust when we die. And we are all one bad decision away from destruction. She thought I was judging her based on my appearance, but in reality, I was simply wearing what my job required. And in return, she judged me for it.

But when I looked into her eyes, I didn’t see her past, her mistakes, or her circumstances—I saw brokenness, sadness, despair, and pain.

So there we were, sitting across from each other, makeup-free, hairless, raw, and real. I reached across the desk and held her hands. Tears fell from both of our eyes as I told her:

You are worthy. You are enough. Honestly, you deserve the life you dream of, and you can have it—one step at a time.

That moment changed me. It reminded me that the Lord is not done with any of us. There is hope and no one should ever treat you as “less than” because you, too, are a child of the King.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Faith Journey

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Brandi C

let them

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

If they want to choose something over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of  your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.

Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.

Let them earn your forgiveness.

Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them take you out on a Thursday.

Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.

Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you.

Author: Cassie Phillips

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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To Conform or Not to Conform

Brandi C

To Conform or Not to Conform

To Conform or Not to Conform

To Conform or Not to Conform

I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues for most of my life. Despite having loving parents and people invested in my life, I couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did. Now, looking back, I see how loved I was, but hindsight is 20/20. Back then, I didn’t see it. I saw myself as the girl in the “stupid kid class,” who struggled with adding, multiplication, telling time, or even understanding what an adverb was. My peers stared at me and made fun of me daily. It was an incredibly difficult time. The question of the day is To Conform or Not to Conform.

How Many Legs Does a Dog Have?

In Kindergarten, the teachers wanted to hold me back because I answered a question wrong on a test. I was asked how many legs a dog had, and I said 3. I remember my mother rushing into the classroom, defending me, saying something like, “She’s not stupid. She just hasn’t seen a four-legged dog.” Let that sink in. I was six years old and had never seen a four-legged dog. It still blows my mind.

6th Grade Drama

In sixth grade, with its hot guys, pegged jeans, and jean jackets, I couldn’t fit in. I was placed in the “stupid” class, and I remember walking in line, being stared at and laughed at by my peers. My mother made sure I didn’t stay there long, though I’m not sure what she said to make that happen. Eventually, I moved back into the mainstream classes.

Always Different

I’ve always felt different. No matter how hard I tried, I never fit in. There were moments when I copied the other girls’ hairstyles, wore trendy clothes, and said things I thought would help me blend in. But instead, I just looked foolish and isolated myself further.

Wearing My Mask

I often wore different “faces” depending on the situation. At school, I wore the “I don’t care that I have no friends and can’t understand my homework” face. When at church, I wore the “sanctified, holier-than-thou” face. At home, I wore the “sullen, no one understands me” face. I had a mask for every setting.

Reed in a Hurricane Syndrome

This “reed in the hurricane” mentality set me up for some difficult experiences. I faced abuse, eating issues, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depression. My intense need to fit in led me down a dangerous path, but despite the pain, I’m grateful that God protected me from further harm.

Coming to Peace

Over the years, I transformed into someone I can finally be at peace with. The exhaustion of pretending to be someone I wasn’t became overwhelming. Eventually, I stopped caring what others thought of me. What matters now is knowing who I am and WHOSE I am.

What Has Been Said About Me

I’ve been told that I can’t be a submissive and honoring wife because I’m too bold and outspoken. Once, I was accused of controlling my husband and not allowing him to make decisions for our family. I’ve been told I only love my husband when he does things for me. There have been times that I’ve been criticized for homeschooling my children, with people claiming I wasn’t smart enough to teach them. But my children have excelled—going to college and becoming successful, well-rounded individuals.

I’ve been called an adulterous person for praying with a man over his marriage. I’ve been told that I will never be taken seriously and that I’m not perceived as intelligent. These statements have hurt me and made me question who I am. But then I stop and remember WHOSE I am. I am a child of the King.

He Knows Me

Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.”

Truths About Me

For those who want to know who I am, here it is: I love my Lord with all my heart and soul. I’m passionate about caring for the needy and reaching out to those no one else wants to be around. I love my husband, my children, and my grandchildren. My Lord comes first, my husband comes second, and my children come third. Everyone else will have to take a number.

I wear hot pink hair with some purple most of the time. I hold those I love very close to my heart. Trust is difficult for me, but I can read people well. I love to sit and observe. I enjoy feeding people and use humor to cover up my hurts. Friendships aren’t easy for me, and I have a brain of my own. Forgiveness is hard for me, but I do it. I can admit when I’m wrong and apologize. Lying is unacceptable.

Be Kind

If you don’t like me or have assumptions about me, that’s okay. But if you want to know something, ask. Don’t judge a person based on a snap decision. Take the time to get to know them. Sit at their table, learn their story, and be mindful of your words.

Different Does Not Mean Bad

I am different. In the end, I will never walk the same path you walk, and I won’t try to be someone I’m not. Seriously, I won’t be the super-smart one, and I’ll never bend the truth just to make someone happy. I will speak my truth and tell you if you’ve hurt my feelings. There are many days when I don’t like to cry, and my job is not to please people. My calling is to love God and love my neighbor. That is what I strive to do.

Salt and Light

Matthew 5:13-16 says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I will stand out, be noticed, and not hide my light. Honestly, I will be myself, and I will encourage, feed, and love you—whether you like it or not. Salt and light, people… salt and light. My hot pink light will shine brightly until the return of Christ. Embrace it, enjoy it, or walk away. The choice is yours.

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Quotes

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Brandi C

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

“I love when somebody says about a woman, ‘Oh, she’s too much.  She’s too much for me.”  Too much of what?  Too much of an opinion?  She laughs too loudly?  Stands too tall?  Takes up too much space?  What would be the right amount and not too much?  She’d have to be less.  That’s what you are saying.  You’re saying BE LESS, if she’s too much.  You know what I think?  I think she should not give a f*ck about what you think about her.”  ~ Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

All the Feels

Oh, does this stir up so many emotions inside? Throughout my life, I’ve been told a lot of things. I’ve been called too loud, too opinionated, and told I can’t Biblically submit to my husband because I’m too “Type A.” I’ve been told that no one will ever take me seriously because I ask questions, or because my hair is pink (currently purple).

For the last two years, I’ve been told that I’m not a good mom because of these very traits. That I shouldn’t be raising my children. I’ve been told to quiet down, conform, be small, be less than, fit in, don’t make waves, and shut up.

The weight of those words has been heavy, but I’m learning that they don’t define me. They don’t define my worth, my voice, or my purpose. And neither do they define who I am as a mother.

Shrinking

For a while now, I’ve been shrinking back. Staying home, sleeping too much, eating too much, crying, and hiding. I allowed others to walk all over me, spoke to me in ways I would never have tolerated before, and accepted far more than I should have. I’ve been holding back in so many areas of my life.

But it really hit me when I was getting ready to go on a little day trip to see family. For the first time in a while, I did my hair, put on makeup, and chose an outfit that covered almost all of my tattoos. It was something that felt like it “fit” the expectations of what a woman my age should wear—nothing too attention-grabbing. I even put on a pair of shoes that I thought would be seen as acceptable.

When we arrived, I ended up sitting quietly in a corner, smiling as I was supposed to. I spoke when prompted and tried to take up as little space as possible—physically and emotionally.

The funny thing is, the shoes I wore didn’t faze anyone in that room, except for three people. They commented on them, as if they were surprised by the fact that I wasn’t wearing something that felt truly me. I told them I didn’t want to embarrass anyone and that I just wanted to blend in.

But that moment stayed with me. It reminded me that I was trying to shrink myself, to fit in and avoid standing out. The truth is, I didn’t just want to blend—I wanted to hide. But even when I tried to do so, my authenticity couldn’t be ignored. I realized in that moment: I’m not meant to blend. I’m meant to stand tall and embrace who I truly am.

Words of Love and Wisdom

My sister—her face, her love—it’s undeniable. She looked at me and asked, Why would you want to blend in?

We wanted you here for who you are, not for any other reason.

She loves me for me. All of me. The sparkly, glittery, tattooed, purple-haired human that I am.

But standing tall hasn’t always felt safe. When I draw attention to myself, I get the judgmental looks, the cutting words—the ones that don’t lift but tear down. The actions of others have altered the course of my life in ways I never wanted. So, I tried to shrink and make myself small. I want to be present but unseen and to love my people and support them—without taking up space.

But her words have been bouncing around in my head ever since. Then, I heard this quote, and suddenly, everything began to fall into place:

I am NOT too much.
Space? I am ALLOWED to take up space.
I am BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY created.

And these adult bullies—they will not stop me from being who I am. I’ve allowed them to take up too much of my mind, my heart, my confidence. And you know what? Enough is enough.

I Am

Going to have purple hair.

Getting more tattoos.

Going to swear occasionally.

Fluffy.

Amazing.

Enough.

Good.

Great mom.

Excellent Lolli.

AMAZING wife.

Beautiful.

Creative.

Feminine.

Worthy.

I am a child of the King.

Love Yourself

To those reading this—you are all of these things, too! Be bold, be loud, be soft, be quiet—be you. If you want to wear a crop top, do it. Throw on all the glitter, color your hair, have opinions, and love people who see the world differently than you. That’s what we are called to do.

Some of my closest friends are my complete opposites, and guess what? I love that. I learn from them, respect them, and cherish them. No matter your size, age, beliefs, background, or family dynamics—you are worthy of love, and I have no desire to judge you. I’ve felt the weight of judgment far too long myself.

My tribe may be as small as a period at the end of a sentence, but they are faithful and true. We can have deep conversations, disagree, and still love each other fiercely. That’s because we see each other, allow space for one another to exist fully, and celebrate the beauty of being exactly who we are.

Ooooh.

ALL. THE. FEELS.

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End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Quotes

True Beauty from Within the Ashes

Brandi C

True Beauty from Within the Ashes

True Beauty from Within the Ashes

“True Beauty”

Do You think that a California girl is supposed to have curls and wear a jean size 3?
All the curves in all the right places, spray tanned faces like on TV?
And we read in the gospel of Vogue that we’re all supposed to dress and move and be
Visions of perfection
Such a misconception
‘Cause the real connection is deeper than the eye can see

True Beauty from Within the Ashes reminds me of a post I wrote about the little squares of life. Social media often becomes a tool for comparison, but what we see is just a curated snapshot. People carefully choose what they present to the world, but what’s hidden behind the screen—the chaos, the struggles, the unfiltered moments—remains unseen.

Chorus

What’s inside of you
What’s inside of me
The hands that made the moon and the stars
The mountains and the seas
Made you wonderful, beautiful, marvelously
Let the whole world see your
True beauty

Aw, Psalm 139, about how God created us.  If you haven’t read it, you should!

World Versus Truth

Don’t know much about Dolce and Gabbana
Seems like a lot of drama to me
And you can keep all your red high heels
And open-toed shoes – I’m good in my bare feet
Lets get down to the nitty gritty
Enough sex and the city
What about purity?
Skin is just the surface
The passion and the purpose that’s burning down inside us
Is really what we need to see

Purity is a rare treasure these days—how sad is that? It’s so easy to slip when emotions take over, even when you’re with the person you plan to spend forever with. Feelings are natural, but wisdom is essential. Staying accountable and avoiding situations where temptation can take root can prevent a lot of heartache—even if you’re engaged!

Chorus

What’s inside of you
What’s inside of me
The hands that made the moon and the stars
The mountains and the seas
Made you wonderful, beautiful, marvelously
Let the whole world see your
True beauty

Love and Peace

Doesn’t come in a bottle, doesn’t come in a box
You can’t spray it on, you can’t wash it off
You can’t nip and tuck, you can’t sew it up
So don’t waste your time
It’s the love in your heart, the peace in your soul
The hope in your smile lets the whole world know
This little light – you gotta let it shine

Love, peace, hope, a smile, and a shining spirit are so important to keep in our hearts. Yet, they can be difficult to hold onto—especially for those struggling with mental illness. The truth is, we all need to be intentional about cultivating these qualities. Maybe it’s as simple as leaving sticky note reminders to keep them at the forefront of our minds.

True Beauty from Within the Ashes

I hadn’t heard True Beauty in years. When the album first came out, I bought it and listened to it faithfully. But as life happened, things got misplaced along the way.

Recently, while updating my Worship playlist on YouTube, I searched for Shackles—a song I love, also by Mandisa. That’s when True Beauty popped up, leading me back to the entire album.

Feeling inspired while working on my blog, I decided to listen. The moment this song played, it was like warm water washing over me. It speaks to me now in a way it never did when it was first released—deeper, more personal, as if I was meant to hear it in this season of life.

Events of Today

Today, I had the privilege of ministering to a heartbroken young woman. We talked about beauty from ashes—Isaiah 61:3, one of my favorite verses. Her voice has been stifled for so long, silenced by the weight of her past abuse and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. In her eyes, she is broken.

We spoke about how the Lord has a purpose for both her past and present pain. One day, she will find the strength to use her story to help others. She will hold the hand of another, walking them through the ashes, guiding them toward their own beauty.

Encouragement

I hope you find encouragement in knowing that you are never alone. You are loved beyond measure. No matter your past, present, or future circumstances, God loves you right where you are. There is nothing you need to do to earn His love, and nothing you can do to lose it. His love is constant—yesterday, today, tomorrow, and every day until He calls you home.

 

Faith in Hard Places. Healing in Real Life.

The Little Squares of Life

Brandi C

The Little Squares of Life

The Little Squares of Life

In The Little Squares of Life, what do you see? I see skinny people with flawless makeup (the women anyway). Also, I see homemade meals and clean, organized houses. Pets can speak three languages and never need walking because they can use the toilet. Little humans wearing matching clothes never shed a tear or throw a royal fit. They are always smiling with their perfectly cut hair.

What I See

I see manicured yards, ideally educated children. These children speak the same languages as their pets plus one more for fun. They are involved in 25 sports each and excel at each mark. People who love Jesus are the world’s holy ones. They are most certainly blessed with new cars, new houses, and health. Everyone seems to be healthy. Happy, all photos are of happy people.

What a delusion!

Behind The Little Squares of Life is the reality. Marriages falling apart behind the smiles. Kids with dirt under their fingernails and enough earwax to make a candle. Sickness behind the smiles, whether that is life-altering illnesses or mental illnesses and anything in between. It could be a chronic thing or a thing they are too embarrassed to see a doctor for. In that scenario, they are too ashamed to go and ask because they are afraid of what they will find. Taking that further, they are so scared nothing is wrong, and they have embarrassed themselves in front of their doctor and now have a bill to pay.

Reality

Burnt dinners, mailboxes with something green growing on them. Weeds are hidden amongst the hostas. Addictions, hatefulness, and spikes in anger run rampant—people who are broken and tired because of a wayward child. Adult children are now turning into the parents of their parents who are sick.

Green for a Reason

Yes, a beautiful green yard can be seen from across the way. Lush green grass that looks like it is taunting you to come across the street and walk barefoot through it. You don’t realize that as you take your shoes off and tiptoe in the neighbor’s yard, you suddenly feel the truth. That lush green grass is lush for a reason. They have a septic issue, and you are walking through feces water.

Good times.

When are we going to start living in the reality of life? Why do we (I) continue to compare ourselves to others when I know the story behind the picture. I get so tired of this little game that may be in my head.

Take a Moment

Behind every picture is pain a lot of times. The one who loves her pets more than the typical person may be the one who struggles with infertility. There is the one that smiles through daily death or near-death experiences due to a calling of her life. One is always smiling with her children, yet divorce is on the horizon due to addiction.

Every picture is different.

Also, every person is different. Do not ever assume something based on a snapshot. Please, for love, do not judge those who think he/she should “know” better. Someone who “should not have” adopted children. Thoughts on if a person is too overweight or underweight.

People hide their pain behind humor and smiles.

They want you to think about all the good things about them because they are hurting so deeply. If you get too close, you will smell fear on them or pain. Then the questions come that they may or may not know the answer to.

You Can Help

Ask someone (a friend, family, acquaintance, or a stranger) how their day is BUT mean it. Maybe they will be honest with you, from that point on, pra for them. Now, don’t just say you will pray for them. Honestly, most people say that, and they never do it. You can be different. Lay your hands on them and pray for them. Send them off with a smile.

Ask how you can help. Do they need children’s care? A meal or a ride? Is there some spot where you can be the hands and feet of Jesus for that person? Send them Scripture through text or FB message. Take the sin out of social media and interject Jesus all over it!