Guest Blogger

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

 

Memories with My Mom.  The earliest memories I have of my mom is when she would rock me and sing silly old songs that would make me giggle. We would play hide and seek and we would sit outside on the glider and swing for a good long time.

Snuggles in the bed, playing with Barbie dolls or watching me dress up about a million times just because. Riding our bikes down the dead-end street and the car rides we would take to Granny’s house or Jojo’s house.

I love my mom.

She is the best kind of mom a kid could have. My mom and dad were strict but they made rules up for me to keep us in a structured house, and we always managed to have fun. She always took me to church on Sundays and then AWANA on Wednesdays, she homeschooled us for the longest time which I know at times must have been challenging for her with three kids.

We would always do fun things together as a family and we were all close. My mom always opened her home and heart to foster children and kids that we eventually adopted into our family which caused us to grow in numbers.

My Thoughts

I must have made my mom’s life challenging at times because I was a considerably difficult child at times. There were a lot of things wrong in my life.  Our relationship has hit lots of bumps in the road. I am very stubborn and not willing to try new things because Sadly, I am always afraid I will mess it up and embarrass myself.

She gave me so many things that I asked for (begged for) without hesitation because she knew I wanted it. I never truly appreciated all of her wisdom and knowledge because I always think my way is best and that I know what I am doing is right.

So many mistakes.

I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt my mother on more than one occasion, and yet she still loves me and she still forgives me. No matter what. I love my mom. I love her kind and gentle soul, her willingness to help others at moments of notice, the way she cooks with love and affection (she is the most amazing cook), how she is still in love with my dad after years of being married to him, the fact that she still loves me even after all that I have put her through.

So many tears.

I can still see the look on her face when I told her I screwed up again. She gave me so many chances that I honestly did not deserve. She has been there for me through joyous occasions, heartbreak, funny moments, and moments of pride when I do manage to accomplish something the right way.

Communication

She has helped me learn how to communicate.  To use my words even though that is sometimes very hard for me. Sometimes, I do not know how to properly articulate at times. She has been there for me through my depression and anxiety.  Honestly, I do not know how to handle it properly yet. She has been there for me throughout my whole school education.  Also, she has supported me during the hardest moments of college. She is the best person even if she says she isn’t, she really is.

Strength

I do not care what she says. She is an excellent mother who is doing the best she can under certain circumstances that are out of her control. We are the very definition of a blended family. All kinds of issues, mental health problems, physical problems, trauma, etc. And she is so strong to deal with everything she has dealt with in the past.

Hindsight is 20/20

I only wish that I was not the cause of some of her heartache. Also, I wish that I had just listened to her instead of trying to do things my way. I wish that I had not asked for all of those things just because I wanted it. Honestly, I have prayed so hard that our relationship would be strengthened.  That moment, I vowed to her that I would always be honest and communicate with her whenever she asked, even if it is hard for me.

Answered Prayers

I have admitted some things to her that I can not even accept about myself. We have been open with each other and we have gotten so much closer than we used to be before which I am so thankful for. God answered my prayers. I am gaining wisdom from her and my communication has gotten better with time and patience.

She is my rock and the one person I can trust to never judge me. I know she loves me with all of her heart and I know that she prays for me every night. I can only hope that one day I will be like her. She is an amazing person.

Mom, I love you more than words can even describe.

I am so blessed and thankful that God chose you and Dad to be my parents. I am so sorry for all the times I made you cry over me. But I am thankful for all the times you have been there for me, the times you have forgiven me, and the times that you have extended grace towards me. You inspire me with your strength every day.

Mom, you are always the one to go without a moment’s hesitation to help us kids.  Lately, to sit with us in the hospital for days on end. You have such a giving soul and I have seen it through the relationships and friendships that you have had in the past. I can only hope that one day I will be like you.

Thank You

Thank you for everything you have done for me and you continue to do for me every single day. You are a gift and a treasure and I will love you for the rest of my days on Earth. Know your worth (like you tell me everyday) and how much of a blessing you are to your family and friends because of your giving heart.

I love you, momma.

Always and forever.

Love, Peach.

Related Posts

Update on my Family

Large Family Happenings

The Beauty in a Bonfire

The Beauty in a BonfireThere is The Beauty in a Bonfire.  When I was a child, my Granny and Grandaddy would have weenie roasts at their house. Our whole family would be there.  My grandparents had 5 children and from those 5 children, there were 14 grandchildren.  All of us would show up….then there were always extras.  My sister and I were very close to 2 of our cousins…we are all stair-stepped in ages.  Tera, Amy, Ty, and me and we were our own little force to be reckoned with.

Memories of Grandaddy

I remember grandaddy sitting in the carport, hand churning homemade ice cream for the evening.  Our bonfire was as big as a house and we’d have chairs and logs to sit on. We would laugh and eat till we puked.  Oh….those sweet sweet memories.

Juicy Fruit Gum

My heart has been aching for my granny.  I don’t know why…but just to hear her voice and play a game of Scrabble.  Juicy Fruit gum.  Fried chicken that was fried in grease and a stick of butter for good measure.  Sneaking a bowl of ice cream and then giggling asking me to make her a bowl.  Stale cheese puffs.  Okra burnt beyond reason….that is the only kind of okra we eat.  Rides in the back of the tractor.  Riding in the back of the truck to our uncle’s house.  Playing in the woods.  So.  Many.  Memories.

We have not had a weenie roast since my granny passed away, 11 years ago and it is high time to get that going again.  I brought this up to my mom and she said to pick a date.  We chose Labor Day because my sister, from Georgia, had the time off and could come.  Also, on Sept. 9, my parents will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary.  It is a great month of celebration, especially since my daddy’s quadruple bypass surgery earlier in the year.

Here are the results of our brand spanking new tradition!

Related Posts

Emotions From This Week’s Story

From the Outside Looking

Life or Something Like It

To Conform or Not to Conform

To Conform or Not to ConformTo Conform or Not to Conform.  I have struggled my entire life with self-esteem issues.  Honestly, I really do not know why because I had parents that loved me. Also, I had people that were vested in my life.  Looking back, I had my parents, my other parents, my granny, Becky Kelly, Edith Wallace, and so many more.  Now I see how loved I have been, but hindsight is 20/20.  Back then, I did not see that.  I just saw myself as the girl in the “stupid kid class” who struggled with adding, multiplication, telling time, or what a freaking adverb is.  Sadly, I was stared at and made fun of, daily, by my peers.  It was such a difficult time.

How Many Legs Does a Dog Have?

Clearly, I remember in Kindergarten, the teachers wanting to hold me back.  The reason was on a test, I was asked how many legs a dog had.  I said 3.  Again, I clearly remember my mother flying in my classroom.  She said something to the effect of “she is not stupid, she has just never seen a 4 legged dog.”  Seriously people.  I.  Had.  Never.  Seen.  A.  4.  Legged.  Dog.  Let that soak in for a moment.  I was 6.  Wow.

6th Grade Drama

In sixth grade, where there were hot guys, pegged jeans and jean jackets.  It really didn’t matter what I did or said, I was never one to have friends, even back then.  When I entered into sixth grade, I remember being put in the “stupid” class.  I remember walking in line and having my peers stare at me and laugh.  My mother ensured that I did not stay in there long, not sure what she said, but I was put back in the mainstream classes.

Always Different

I just always felt different.  Never really did I fit in with anyone or anywhere.  There were points when I tried to do my hair like the other girls.  Oh, and my makeup (Tera, remember the school picture you dolled me up for and the mounds of blue eyeshadow…good grief!).  I tried to dress the way other people dressed and have the “in style” clothes. Stupidly, I would say things that I thought would make me fit in.  When in reality, I just looked like an idiot and I was further isolated from my peers.

Wearing my Mask

I would put on the face to suit whoever I was in contact with.  If I was in school, I would put on the “I don’t care that I have no friends and cannot understand my homework” face. If I were at church, I would put on my “sanctified holier than thou face.”  If I were at home, I put on the “sullen no one understands me” face.  I had several faces that I would take on and off, depending on my situation.

Reed in a Hurricane Syndrome

That “reed in the hurricane” mentality set me up for not so good things to happen in my life.  There was abuse, anorexia, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depression.  My deep need to fit in led me down a scary path that, though I am sad because of the things that did happen, I praise my Father for protecting me from any further harm.

Coming to Peace

Over the years, I have transformed into a person that I think I can finally be at peace with.  The exhaustion of being more than one person depending on the setting became too much for me.  I no longer cared what anyone thought or felt about me.  What is important is that I know who I am and WHOSE I am.

What Has Been Said About Me

I have been told that I cannot be a submission, honoring wife because I am too bold and outspoken.  Also, I have been told that I control my husband and will not let him make any decisions in our family. There have been people who have said that I love my husband when he does things for me. Oh, wait, and I have been told that homeschooling is detrimental to my children because I am not smart enough to teach them.  They will lag behind.

I have been told that I am perceived as an adulterous person because I chose to pray with a man over his marriage.  Then there was the time I will never be taken seriously, I am not perceived as intelligent.  Blah Blah Blah.  My feelings have been hurt more than once because all these statements make me question who I really am.  Then, I stop and I remember WHOSE I am.  I am a child of the King.

He Knows Me

Psalm 139:13-16  “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Truths About Me

For those of you who might want to know who I am or what I stand for….I love my Lord with all my heart and all my soul.  Caring for the needy or destitute is what I do.  I want to help the ones that no one wants to be near. Please know that I love my husband and my children.  My Lord comes first and my husband comes second and children come third.  Everyone after that will have to take a number.

I have hot pink hair most of the time.  To a detriment, I am honest.  I hold those I love very close to my heart.  Trust does not come easy for me.  I can read people very well.  My jam is to sit and watch.  I love to feed people.  There are also moments when I love to share my past hurts in order to help someone else.  I use humor to hide my hurts.  Friendships do not come easy for me.  I have a brain.  Forgiving is hard for me to do, but I do it.  I can say I am wrong and apologize.  Lying is not tolerated.

Be Kind

If you don’t like me or assume something about me…that is fine.  If you want to know something, ask.  For the love of all that is good…never look at a person and make a snap judgment call.  Get to know them.  Put your feet under their table and see how they operate.  Learn their story.  Be mindful of your speech.

Different Does Not Mean Bad

I am different.  Remember, I will NEVER walk the walk you are walking.  Also, I will never talk about the talk you are talking about.  I will not be the person who matches (though I like to think I try).  Honestly, I will never be the one who is super smart.  I will never be the one who will fudge the truth in order to make someone happy.  Furthermore, I will always tell you how I feel.  If you make me mad or hurt my feelings, I will let you know.  I hate to cry.  My job is not to please people.  My command is to love God and love my neighbor.  That is what I do.

Salt and Light

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.  Matthew 5:13-16

I will not hide my light.  Also, I will stand out and I will be noticed.  I will be myself and I will encourage, feed and love you.  Regardless if you like it or not.  Salt and Light, people….salt and light.  My hot pink light will shine up on that hill until the return of Christ.  Enjoy it, embrace it, or walk away….your choice.