Tag: Moving Forward

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Keep Moving Forward

Brandi C

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Keep Moving Forward and You Will Never Have a Reason to Look Back

Life has a way of throwing challenges in our path. Some obstacles leave scars—both seen and unseen. The weight of the past can feel overwhelming, making it tempting to dwell on what was, what could have been, or the pain we’ve endured. But true growth happens when we shift our focus from what’s behind us to what lies ahead.

Why Moving Forward Matters

Looking back too often keeps us stuck. Regret, guilt, and fear can act as chains that hold us in place, preventing us from embracing the future. But when we choose to move forward, we give ourselves permission to heal, to grow, and to discover new possibilities that we never imagined.

How to Keep Moving Forward

✔ Accept the Past – Acknowledge what has happened, but don’t let it define you. ✔ Forgive Yourself and Others – Carrying resentment only weighs you down. ✔ Set New Goals – Focus on what excites and motivates you. ✔ Surround Yourself with Positivity – Be with people who uplift and encourage you. ✔ Take Small Steps Every Day – Progress isn’t always huge leaps; even small movements count.

The Power of Forward Motion

When you keep moving forward, you shift your mindset. You become more focused on growth rather than pain, more centered on opportunities rather than losses. The road ahead may not always be easy, but every step forward is a step away from the things that no longer serve you.

No Need to Look Back

Keep moving forward, and you will never have a reason to look back. Not because the past doesn’t matter, but because the future holds so much more for you. Walk boldly into it—you are stronger than you think, and your best days are ahead.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Mental Health Check-In

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Brandi C

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Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Scars tell stories. Some are visible, etched into our skin as reminders of battles fought and wounds healed. Others, though, remain hidden as they carve deep into our hearts and minds, shaping us in ways the world cannot see but are just as real.

The Weight of Invisible Wounds

Emotional and psychological scars often go unnoticed. There’s no cast for a broken spirit, no stitches for a wounded heart. Trauma, grief, anxiety, and depression—these struggles don’t always show on the outside, but they shape us just the same.

The hardest part? Others may not understand. It’s easy to offer sympathy for a physical injury. However, invisible scars often come with judgment, doubt, or well-meaning but dismissive comments like “Just move on” or “It’s all in your head.” But pain doesn’t have to be visible to be valid.

Healing Takes Time

Just like physical wounds, emotional scars need time to heal. Healing doesn’t follow a straight path; instead, it moves through ups and downs. Some days, you feel strong, and on other days, the past creeps back in. That’s okay. True healing isn’t about forgetting what hurt you—it’s about learning to live beyond the pain and finding ways to move forward.

How to Care for the Unseen Wounds

✔ Acknowledge Your Pain – Your feelings are real and deserve space. Recognizing and accepting them is the first step toward healing. ✔ Speak Your Truth – Whether through therapy, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend, expressing your emotions can be powerful and cathartic. ✔ Set Boundaries – Protect your peace. It’s okay to walk away from toxic environments and relationships that no longer serve you. ✔ Practice Self-Compassion – You are not your trauma. Therefore, be gentle with yourself and give yourself the grace to heal. ✔ Seek Support – You don’t have to carry this alone. There is strength in reaching out, and there are people who want to help.

You Are Not Alone

If you carry invisible scars, know this: You are seen. You are valued. Your pain matters. Healing is possible, and you are worthy of it.

Scars, visible or not, are proof of survival. And you? You are still here. You are still fighting and you are still standing. That is strength, resilience, and that is something to be proud of.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Stop Silent Start Talking

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Quotes

Not All Storms Disrupt

Brandi C

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Not All Storms Disrupt—Some Clear Your Path

Life can often feel like an unpredictable storm—chaotic, overwhelming, and full of uncertainty. We face challenges, setbacks, and painful experiences that make us question the direction we’re heading. But here’s an important truth: not all storms are meant to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path and prepare you for something greater.

At first, storms can feel like an obstacle. The winds of change can be scary, and the rain of hardship can make us want to give up. But sometimes, these very storms are what push us toward the growth we need. They strip away the things that no longer serve us—the habits, relationships, or situations that were holding us back. What we may perceive as a disruption is, in reality, a clearing of the space for something better to come in.

Here’s why storms can be a blessing in disguise:

  1. They reveal what’s important. When everything is shaking, it’s easier to see what truly matters in life.
  2. They force us to grow. Storms challenge us, pushing us out of our comfort zones and forcing us to find strength we didn’t know we had.
  3. They clear away the old. Just as a storm clears debris, the difficulties we face can remove obstacles from our lives, making way for new opportunities.
  4. They build resilience. Each storm we face makes us stronger, teaching us how to navigate future challenges with more grace and courage.

When life feels stormy, don’t be quick to think it’s the end of the road. Sometimes, the storm is just clearing your path for something new, something better, and something that will lead you to a brighter future. Trust the process. Keep moving forward, and remember that every storm has its purpose.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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He Leaves the 99

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey, Quotes

You Can Always Begin Again

Brandi C

untitled design

No Matter How Hard the Past Is, You Can Always Begin Again

Life has a way of throwing us into storms we never saw coming. Painful moments, regrets, and heartbreak can make us feel like we are stuck—trapped in a cycle of the past. But here’s the beautiful truth: no matter how hard the past has been, you can always begin again.

Starting over isn’t about erasing what happened; it’s about choosing to move forward despite it. The past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. Every sunrise brings new mercies, every breath is an opportunity to rewrite your story, and every step forward is proof that you are stronger than what tried to break you.

Maybe your past holds trauma, mistakes, or loss. Maybe you carry the weight of things you wish had been different. But beginning again isn’t about forgetting—it’s about healing. It’s about learning to give yourself the same grace you would offer someone else.

The most powerful thing you can do is believe in the possibility of renewal. It doesn’t have to be a grand, dramatic reinvention. Sometimes, beginning again looks like getting out of bed, making one small change, or allowing yourself to dream again. It looks like choosing hope, even when it feels impossible.

You are not your past. Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are a person capable of growth, love, and new beginnings. The past may be behind you, but your future is waiting—with open arms, ready for you to step into the next chapter.

So take a deep breath. Let go of the weight you no longer need to carry. And begin again.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

Focus On the Step In Front of You

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services (2)

Focus on the Step in Front of You

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to get caught up in the big picture—the long journey ahead, the challenges still to come, the uncertainty of it all. But when you stand at the bottom of a staircase, you don’t climb it all at once. You take it one step at a time.

The same goes for life. When anxiety whispers that you’ll never make it, when depression tells you it’s all too much, when the weight of responsibilities feels unbearable—pause. Breathe. Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.

What is one thing you can do today? Maybe it’s getting out of bed, drinking a glass of water, answering one email, or simply reminding yourself that you’ve survived hard days before. That one step is enough for today. Tomorrow, you’ll take another. And then another.

It’s okay if progress feels slow. Healing isn’t a race. Growth isn’t always obvious. Some days, just standing still is a victory. Small steps lead to big changes, even when you can’t see them yet.

So, if the road ahead feels too long, don’t let it paralyze you. Shift your focus. Just take the next step—no matter how small. And when you do, know that you are moving forward, that you are capable, and that you are not alone.

You don’t have to climb the whole staircase today. Just take the step in front of you. That is enough. 💛

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

When the Silence is Deafening

Brandi C

When the Silence is Deafening

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When silence becomes deafening, emotions can shift from moment to moment. Some days, it feels like they change by the minute. Lately, the silence has been so loud that I can’t hear myself think. It’s like when my aunt can’t smell anything because the noise around her is too overwhelming—strange, isn’t it? Even as I write this, I’m reflecting on how I got here.

On Juneteenth, my friend took her last breath here on earth. In July, my sweet granny passed away. Then, one year to the date after my granny’s death, my father-in-law died. My Lady’s birthday falls in July, but her death anniversary is on October 1st. A friend celebrated her birthday on October 6th, but she passed away on October 15th a few years ago. Although these deaths happened years ago, they feel like they just occurred yesterday.

In a crisis, I tend to be focused—quiet, but focused. I do what needs to be done, helping where I can. But it’s during the stillness of the night, when I’m not juggling multiple tasks, that everything shifts. It’s when I allow myself to be still that the grief and pain I’ve buried deep inside begin to surface.

I don’t like the silence.

It’s in that silence when I realize how much hurt and grief I’ve been holding in. My greatest fear is that if I stop, if I let myself feel, I’ll start crying and never stop. It’s difficult for me to reach out and be vulnerable, to cry in front of someone. I fear judgment, explaining myself, or making the pain I’ve held in feel too real once I speak it aloud.

Not long ago, I reached out to a friend. It felt strange. I had been alone that night, crying for hours. Then, I stopped and dialed her number. She’s the one person who rarely answers because she’s a busy mom with her own life, so I assumed she wouldn’t answer.

She answered.

No words came out of my mouth. All I did was cry. She listened and she didn’t ask questions or offer “it’ll be okay” statements. Honestly, she just listened to me cry. Afterward, I managed to say the many things that had been plaguing my heart. I didn’t want her to fix anything; I knew she couldn’t. All I needed was for her to listen and love me, without any judgment or unsolicited advice.

October 1st was another difficult day. I made it to work for about two hours before I couldn’t go any further. I left, called my mom, and pretended everything was fine, but she knew. She always knows. I kept the conversation together and then came home and slept.

Off to the Hills

I spent the rest of the day crying off and on, then called my mom again, asking if I could come over. She was busy but said she’d be home soon and I could come over then. I got in the car, feeling like I couldn’t breathe or hold it together. I told my husband I was leaving, not knowing when or if I’d be back that night.

It was a beautiful evening, so I rolled the windows down and drove. In the past, when we lived in our old house, I would go on drives like this to clear my head. There was no pressure to be a wife or a mom. I’d drive for hours, seeing new places, exploring new roads. Sometimes, a kid would join me, and we’d go on adventures. Once, I ended up in Dukedom, TN.

Visiting Granny

On that particular night, I drove on unfamiliar roads and ended up near Lovelaceville—close to my granny’s house. I took the “old way” and passed by the new houses. The familiar music stirred my emotions, and I cried even harder. Memories flooded back of driving down that road with her. My mind was a mess, and my body couldn’t hold back the tears.

I ended up at the cemetery where my granny, grandfather, uncle, aunt, and cousin are buried. I hadn’t been there in a long time. My heart longed for her presence—the wisdom she offered, the laughter she shared, the way she could solve my problems with a game of Scrabble, some juicy fruit gum, and a surprise bowl of ice cream.

Cortisol Break

I’m in the middle of a “cortisol break” as I sit here, tears dripping down my face. It’s a moment where the weight of everything comes rushing in, and I need time to collect myself.

I’ve been working through this for days, writing down my feelings. Right now, I’m listening to Made for More while holding onto the baby blanket my granny made for me. It’s my comfort—a kind of emotional support quilt. It’s full of holes, tears, and stains, but it’s mine. It makes me feel loved. It’s incredible how an object can do that.

Deafening Silence

The silence is the hardest part for me. It’s when the noise fades that the unresolved grief starts to surface. When my granny passed, I had just gained custody of two kids, only to lose her and them shortly after. When my father-in-law died, we hadn’t spoken for six months due to a misunderstanding. After LA passed, I couldn’t go to her funeral because my son needed chemotherapy. When my Lady died, my son was struggling with OMS, and my dad had a stroke, so I couldn’t process her death. And when Donna passed, that night was filled with pain in more ways than one.

There’s so much I’ve never processed, and the recent losses only add to it. If I could just trust in God’s faithfulness, maybe this pain wouldn’t feel so overwhelming. I know His word is true, and I do believe in it. But in my life, I struggle to see hope. I feel trapped, like I’m walking through mud. It’s hard to see a way out. If I don’t allow myself to feel, to sit in the silence and process, I don’t know what will happen. Maybe I’ll implode.

“Made For More”
(feat. Jenn Johnson)

I know who I am ’cause I know who You are.
The cross of salvation was only the start.
Now I am chosen, free and forgiven.
I have a future and it’s worth the living’.
Cause I wasn’t made to be tending a grave.
I was called by name.
Born and raised back to life again.
I was made for more.
So why would I make a bed in my shame.
When a fountain of grace is running my way.
I know I am Yours
And I was made for more.

Oh hallelujah.
You called out my name.
So I’ll sing out Your praise.
Hallelujah.
You buried my past
And I’m not going back.

 

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Think Positive

Guest Blogger

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

Brandi C
Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope
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Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

 

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope. Life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs at us. We never know what’s just around the corner, whether it’s losing a job to being diagnosed with a new health condition. Fortunately, there are ways that Barefoot Faith Journey presents some examples of major life changes. This article offers a few quick bits of advice on what you might do when facing them.

 

Starting a New Business

 

If you’ve recently lost your job and decided that entrepreneurship was the path for you, congratulations. Not only are you facing adversity with a positive mindset, but you’re also on the most feasible path to gaining personal wealth. One quick tip to help this process is to form a limited liability company (LLC).

 

An LLC is a limited liability company, which reduces the chances of your personal assets being seized if your business gets sued. It’s a fairly flexible structure that you can file on your own using an online formation service. The online formation service will also have local laws and regulations around business formation.  All of this is located in one convenient place for you to research.

 

The Death of a Spouse

 

Losing a spouse, especially when you have been together for decades, is a horribly painful loss to endure. In fact, it is so painful that 66% of people risk dying within 90 days after the loss of their partner, explains the National Council on Aging. Although the grief may feel unbearable, your purpose does not have to end at this tragic moment. Talk with friends and family. You can also celebrate the memories you shared, and do things that are right for you. This can mean moving or dating once again, when the time is right.

 

New Health Condition

 

Every day, millions of Americans are diagnosed with new health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer. There are many ways to cope with these, and it starts with understanding your condition. Next, set up a support network, create realistic goals for yourself, and focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. You might also talk to your doctor about taking health supplements that can help with fatigue, brain fog, and more.

 

Having a Baby

 

You have likely heard people say that having a baby changes everything. However, you have no idea how true this is until you have that adorable little wrinkled bundle safe and sound in their crib home. The Baby Chick blog explains having a baby causes you to worry more, and you may experience changes within your relationship.

 

While many of the changes you’ll experience as a new parent are positive, you may also experience exhaustion and, in some cases, postpartum depression. Look for ways to get enough sleep, create a support network, and make healthy lifestyle changes, such as eating well and exercising.

 

It’s also common to feel like a stranger in your own body, as it may look and feel different than before your pregnancy. One way that you can focus on feeling and looking your best is to buy new clothes. Look for comfortable clothes that don’t sacrifice style, such as leggings, versatile dresses, and a flirty yet comfortable nightgown. Indeed, this may work to help you cope with caring for your new baby.

 

Losing Your Home

 

Whether it’s from fire, foreclosure, or some other unforeseeable event, losing your home is devastating. Similar to losing a loved one, you’re likely to experience grief, confusion, anger, and many other feelings. But you must accept that it’s time to start over and move on. Remember, you can’t bring back the past, but you can create a new future for yourself.

 

Supporting Your Mental Health

 

Each of these situations (and others not listed) will put your mental health at risk. There are some situationally-specific strategies you can use, but there are also more generalized ways to cope with grief, depression, and hopelessness. First and foremost, seek professional help. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and should be used anytime you need someone to talk to, especially after a big change.

 

Then, add small things to your daily activities that will help you to move out of your grief and depression. Being out in nature has been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, so take a walk or start a garden. You can visit https://homegardenhero.com/ for simple home gardening tips, including what to grow in your area.

 

Make time for the people you love – and who love you – even when you don’t feel like being social. Simply getting out of the house for lunch or coffee can make a big difference in your mental health, and each visit with loved ones will remind you that you are supported and loved.

 

Take Small Steps to Manage Challenging Situations

 

While no one has a crystal ball to know what will happen in the future, it pays to be mentally prepared for the unexpected. This doesn’t mean that you sit around and fixate on what might be, only that you know your options when facing a crisis. For some comfort and distraction, read more engaging posts on the Barefoot Faith Journey blog!

 

From starting a new business after losing the job to dealing with the lack of sleep that comes with having a new baby or learning how to manage diabetes or other conditions, today’s tips are a great quick reference guide that can help you maintain control during the chaos.

 

From unique recipes to inspirational topics, Barefoot Faith Journey has something for you.

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Healing Process

Brandi C

In the last part of my guest blogger’s piece, she talks about The Healing Process.  What she has gone through and how she came to peace.  God is so much bigger!

The Healing Process

Remembering Little Details of What Happened

 

Some people might think I am making this big deal of being cheated on by a boyfriend. Sadly, women get cheated on, which is typical in our society. But it’s different. And yet, I don’t think I forgave him, truly forgave him, until a few weeks ago when I attended church with my family and heard my Pastor’s sermon. I sent him a short and to-the-point message saying that I forgave him and would pray that his life would be abundantly blessed in everything he tried. That was hard for me to write. Especially considering that he might not have even read the message in the first place since he blocked me off everything. 

 

The Healing Process

 

But for me, that is part of the healing process. I don’t hate my ex. Honestly, I choose to remember the good things about our relationship rather than focus on the bad stuff. I need to move forward and be patient enough to wait for God’s perfect man for me in the future. It could be a few days from now or possibly years from now. But I am choosing to be patient and wait for my lifelong partner. And I will continue to pray for him and that he finds his perfect partner. We might not have had the best relationship in the world, but he was still a part of my life, and I will never be rid of those good and bad memories. 

 

Advice

 

You have to choose yourself. You have to help those girls and women who have been cheated on by their significant other. Others are in those not-so-good relationships. If you see a red flag, then get out. Please don’t do what I did and settle for someone who is not your person. It is not worth the heartache and days of tears that will possibly be in your future. 

I might be young, and my experience might not have much meaning, but it is my life. I chose not to settle. And I like being single. Sure, it’s lonely sometimes, but you truly learn who you are and what your personality is like when you are by yourself. Love you. Take care of yourself. Don’t settle. He is not a monster, but he was not mine forever. 

And for the first time in a long time, I am okay with that.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Happy Without You

Brandi C

The Pain of Losing a Friendship

Happy Without You

This young lady shares her feelings about losing a special friendship in Happy Without You. Friendships come and go like the ebbs and flows of the ocean. That is what I tell so many people because it puts in perspective that the things of this Earth are not forever. Yet, losing a friendship is so very hard. I always say you can either release them and enjoy the memories or hold onto them and be left with scars as Jesus rips them out of your hand.

 This story is written by a young lady who is experiencing the loss of her relationship with a friend. Her pain is evident, and this is her way of releasing those emotions healthily. I pray for peace and restoration for her and her friend. We always have to remember “but God.” He is the healer of all things in His time.

Happy Without You

 Happy Without You. Hey, you know that if you want to hang out with me, you can text me. I am not trying to make you think that I don’t give a shit about you. I would hate for you to feel that way. You know, you really should be careful of what you put out in this world. You could hurt someone. 

Hence the reason I have taken measures to prevent you from hurting me. And this is only one of many instances. I have to do this for my mental health. It was hard and hurtful to see and hear those things, these passive-aggressive, attention-seeking words that bore deep in my soul. 

My Offering and Your Response

I have offered to be friends, have fun, live our lives together, create things, and make things I knew you would like. And you decide to say some bullshit like that? And even if you didn’t mean it towards me, maybe it wasn’t your intent. Doesn’t matter. Still hurt. And sorry is not going to fix this. 

I am so sick and tired of your antics and your attention-seeking behavior. Do you even care about me? You haven’t once asked me how I have been. Not in all of this time. Not then and not now. Do you know how much that hurts? Honestly, do you know how badly I want someone I can trust? Do you know how badly I want to be your friend? 

Why Stop?

You quit texting me. Also, You stopped hanging out with me. You. Not me. This is your fault, not mine. It is all on you. You make things about yourself anyway, so why should this be any different? I feel unwelcome in your presence. Awkward is what I feel because I cannot trust you. I don’t know how to act around you. Honestly, I don’t know who you are anymore. And it is so hard that I can’t trust you anymore. 

My Reasons

So, do you want to know why I don’t make plans? Because every time I have tried, you find someone or something better for you to do. And that hurts. I would go above and beyond to make you feel welcome so you wouldn’t see my depression. So you wouldn’t have to see my anxiety. So you wouldn’t have to see my trauma. You don’t seem interested in hanging out with me. Do you ever try and point the finger at yourself? Or is it everyone else’s fault but yours? 

 

What Did I do?

 

What did I do to hurt you? Is this my fault after all? Everything is usually my fault; that comes from my trauma. But do you even care? No, you don’t bother to ask. I was there for you for everything. I helped you. I supported you. I loved you. And I got nothing in return. And I didn’t want anything. Because that is what true friendship is really like. Or have you forgotten? 

 

I don’t know who you are anymore, understand your thought process, and know why you have such disdain for me. Frankly, I don’t understand your words. I am hurt, and I can’t trust you. Trust is such a fickle thing for me. Once you break my trust, you are gone. And I gave you so many chances. But no more. I have tried and tried and tried some more to open myself up to you. 

 

What You Don’t Know

 

Do you know that I have been in trauma therapy for months? Do you know the horrors I have had to relive? Do you know how bad my depression has gotten? Do you know that I have panic attacks when I am triggered? Do you know that my anxiety is through the roof most of the time? No. BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE. You don’t care; otherwise, you would have said something. You would have asked. 

 

I want to be passive-aggressive back to you. I want to say something so passive-aggressive it makes your blood boil. So you could know what it feels like when you say something like what you did. But I am a bigger person. So I won’t do that. And that is ok. But I secretly want you to read this. I want you to know how badly you have hurt me. I want you to know how many hours I have cried over our friendship. I want you to know. 

 

I Have Always Loved You

 

But it is getting harder and harder to love you each day. I am heartbroken. It is your fault. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. You are one of the reasons why I don’t trust anyone. I trusted you, and you broke it. I felt betrayed and so alone. Do you know how badly I wanted to be your friend? Can you even fathom it? 

 

You are one of the Best People I Have Ever Known.

 

However, I don’t even recognize you anymore. It is not because I judge you. I never have and never will. I have done enough things that I am ashamed of, and I do not feel the need to judge every single person I meet. So if that’s why you hate me so much, get that thought out of your head. I have never judged you and never will. But you have changed. The person I thought cared about me doesn’t seem to exist anymore. 

 

Someone to Trust

 

I want someone to tell my story too. That is something I want. I desire that. But I can’t do that with you. You made sure of that. Trauma is a bitch. But I have been stuck in my little bubble for so long that it is hard for me to reach out. Because of the times, I have tried to reach out, I was judged and retreated into my bubble. And now, I am working through this messy middle of trauma therapy, which is not easy. Not that you care. Again, you never asked. 

 

So instead of blaming everyone else, why don’t you start blaming yourself? You pushed everyone away, the people closest to you. I was one of those people that you drove away. You are the definition of a guilt trip. You are such a triggering person. You gaslight people into thinking that it is their fault instead of yours. Your guilt and manipulation to get your way. In a way, I am better off without you. 

 

Without You

 

Without you, I would have survived my trauma. I got married without you. Without you, I got myself into treatment. I was blessed with the best gift anyone could ask for without you. It’s currently kicking inside of me now. Without you, I would have survived my suicidal ideations. I got myself medicated without you. Without you, I got my life back on track. I got closer to Jesus without you. All of these things I did without you. 

 

And you know what? I am a freaking fantastic person. And you are missing out. So peace, love, and Spock signal. I hope you are happy. Because I sure am. Happy without you.