Boundaries Without Guilt: Why a Screen Door Is Still a Door
I had a client tell me once that she felt like a hallway. Everybody walked through her to get somewhere else. However, nobody stopped to see what was on the…
-
-
Building a Life That Doesn’t Require Survival Mode
Here is a pattern I see all the time, and it breaks my heart a little every time I see it. Somebody does real healing work. Therapy, tools, tears, the…
-
Fawn Mode: When You Lose Yourself to Keep the Peace
I asked her what she wanted, and I meant it as a small question. What do you want to see change in your marriage, your week, your life? She laughed…
-
The Trauma of Loving Somebody Through Addiction
You can read a driveway like scripture when you love an addict. Which way the tires crunch the gravel, how long the truck sits before the door opens, what the…
-
Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence: The Wounds Nobody Can See
“He never hit me. So why do I feel like this?” She asked me that with her hands twisted in her lap, apologizing for taking up an appointment somebody with…
-
Betrayal Trauma: When the Wound Came From Somebody You Loved
A wreck never claimed to love you. The tornado did not sit across the supper table for eleven years. Whatever else those storms take, they do not take your history…
-
Forgiving Someone You Still Have to See
Most forgiveness advice has a quiet assumption baked into it, and once you spot it, you can’t unsee it. It assumes you can leave. Block the number, move the membership,…
-
Forgiveness That Protects You
We’ve reached the last stretch of this series, and I want to open it with a picture from every Southern porch I’ve ever loved. The screen door. A screen door…
-
When Forgiveness Is Delayed by Fear
I want to offer you a different way to look at the thing you’ve been calling your unforgiveness. What if it isn’t stubbornness at all? What if it’s fear, standing…
-
How Betrayal Affects Trust, Attachment, and Intimacy
Here’s what nobody warned you about. The betrayal happened with one person, but the damage doesn’t stay in one place. It travels. Suddenly you’re keeping your best friend at arm’s…
-
Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconciliation
Somebody’s going to tell you that if you’ve really forgiven someone, you have to let them back in. Same access, same closeness, same trust, like nothing happened. I need you…
-
You’re Allowed to Be Angry About What Happened
Somebody told you somewhere along the way that good Christians don’t get angry. That anger means your faith isn’t strong enough, or your forgiveness isn’t real yet. I want to…
-
Boundaries That Help You Heal
Healing needs protection. It needs space and honesty, patience and safe people, and enough time to become more than just survival. That’s why boundaries matter so much. Without boundaries, healing…
-
Boundaries With Your Calendar
Your calendar can tell the truth about your boundaries. Sometimes we say we value rest, family, healing, prayer, health, and peace, but our calendar tells on us. Too many commitments,…
-
Boundaries With Rescuing
Helping is beautiful. Rescuing is different. Helping supports someone while still letting them carry their own responsibility. Rescuing picks up responsibility that was never yours to hold. Helping says, “I…
-
Boundaries With Old Versions of Yourself
Sometimes the person you need a boundary with is an old version of yourself. The version of you who survived by staying quiet, who apologized for everything, who said yes…
-
Boundaries With Grief
Grief needs boundaries too. That may sound strange, because grief already feels so heavy. But when you are grieving, your heart is tender, your energy runs short, your body moves…
-
Boundaries With Being the Strong One
Being the strong one can wear you down to the bone. People come to you because you handle things. You listen, you fix, you carry, you stay calm, and you…
-
Boundaries With Other People’s Opinions
Everyone has an opinion. About your choices, your parenting, your marriage, your healing, your grief, your faith, your boundaries, your work, and whatever you’re planning to do next. Some of…
-
Boundaries With Apologies Without Change
An apology without change can become part of the cycle. “I’m sorry.” “I didn’t mean it.” “I’ll do better.” “That won’t happen again.” Those words can matter when they’re sincere….