When Medical “Little Lies” Create Fear in Children

I have deep respect for nurses, nurse’s aides, child life specialists, and all the other “worker bees” in the hospital. They are fantastic and often under-appreciated.

Over the past several months, I have learned a lot from our experience with hospital visits and treatments. I understand the heart behind many common statements made by hospital staff to ease children’s fears. However, for children who spend a lot of time in the hospital, these statements don’t always help.

Phrases We Heard in the Hospital:

• “Let’s give your arm a hug” (preparing to take blood pressure)

• “Let’s clean off your germies” (preparing for an IV)

• “It isn’t going to hurt. We are just going to put a straw in your hand/arm” (placing the IV)

• “We are going to go downstairs, and they are going to give you a special medicine to help you take a nap” (putting under for sedation)

• “Let’s tickle your armpit” (taking temperature)

• “Is there a bunny rabbit in your ear?” (checking ear)

• “Let’s see if you have a heart” (checking heartbeat)

• “This is going to squeeze your arm just a little bit” (tourniquet for IV)

• “This is going to sound like a rocket ship” (the numbing thing that causes anxiety)

• “Let’s give your arm a drink” (flushing the IV)

• “Let’s take some happy juice” (something to calm them before sedation)

• “We are going to go downstairs, and you can take a nap while we take pictures in a giant donut” (MRI)

At first, these phrases made sense and helped to alleviate some fear. However, when a child begins associating these terms with hospital experiences, it can lead to deeper anxieties. Over time, the child began resisting simple things like hugs, straws, and even certain foods, which became tied to fear and hospital experiences.

While using these terms is helpful for minor procedures, it doesn’t work for children who regularly experience hospital visits. As a result, a shift in approach became necessary.

What Helped Us Instead:

During a recent hospital visit, I decided to take a different approach to prepare the child. Instead of using playful terms, we used accurate terminology to help normalize the situation. For instance, before an MRI and spinal tap, we used a doll to demonstrate the procedures. I explained the process thoroughly, from drawing veins to flushing the IV, so the child understood what was happening.

Surprisingly, the hospital staff was astonished at how well the child responded, how much they understood, and how calmly they handled the procedure. This approach helped take away the fear of the unknown and allowed the child to feel more in control of their own body.

This experience led to a scream-free hospital stay. The child was compliant, confident, and even polite. Being honest, age-appropriate, and clear helped more than trying to soften everything with playful words. It was a reminder that normalizing the experience and teaching about the process can help children face challenges with confidence.

For children with frequent medical experiences, trust matters. Sometimes honest words feel less scary than cute words that stop feeling true.

You can read more from our Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome journey here.

Helpful Resource:
If you are walking through medical parenting, rare disease, grief, faith, or hard seasons, I keep a list of books and resources I have personally found meaningful here: Helpful Resources I Love.

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