Life or Something Like It

Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live

Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live

Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live by Luke Mind Power. I don’t know if he has a blog or anything online other than Tiktok, so you can just google his name and see what comes up. There are several things of his that resonates with me on some level. It is a lot about self-love, empowerment, believing in yourself, and positive thinking. Frankly, I need that in spades right now.

This has been a very difficult season for me, personally. I am at the point where I am exhausted. As I have posted about, recently, I have withdrawn into myself to try and preserve what little sanity I have left. Everyone’s breaking point is different. I several people I work with that have stories that break my heart and I wonder how they are still smiling. What I have been through is traumatic for me but for other’s might be a walk in the park and vice versa. People handle situations differently.

Perspective

I don’t share much about what is going on because then I get a lot of advice and “I would” statements. That is great for you. In my mind, I’m thinking well, let’s hope you aren’t in this situation but if you are, then I’m sure you “would” do this and this. For me, this is what we are choosing to do and that seems right, at this moment. We are literally living moment to moment. If the choices we make as a family doesn’t set well with someone else, then that is a you problem, not a me problem. We very well may have made the wrong choices but we are doing our best.

It is exhausting trying to live life, make decisions, confide in others, get advice, try to follow the advice, and it still be a sucky situation. Honestly, it causes me to doubt every decision I have made because I think well “what if” I had listened to this person or that person…would it be different? Should I have? Would I ever? Can I go back and? That cycle has to stop.

In my heart, I know we are loved and prayed over. I know that everyone means well and wants to help or fix the situation. No one likes to see another person or family in pain. They just don’t. I get that and I respect that but give advice when you are asked. As a therapist, that statement is an oxymoron (is that the right word?).

Dare

This is the overall theme of this tiktok I was talking about and what I want to try and do, to the best of my ability.

“Dedicate the next 6 months exclusively to my goals. No announcements, just fall back, and do the work. It’s me versus me this time. Stay in my lane. There is no traffic and no competition. I can do this. Right your goals down, create a vision of where I want to be and take actions. Shut my mouth, don’t say sht, just let my success be my noise. My mind is a powerful thing. start using it to my advantage. When you fill it with positivity, my life will start to change. My time is now, no more bullsht. I can’t keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of me if I keep giving them the straw. It’s time for me to grow.”

Drop the Mic

Don’t you LOVE that?! That statement of “I can’t keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of me if I keep giving them the straw” is what needs to be tattooed on my forearm so I can see it! Seriously, I might have one of my daughter’s write that on a canvas and hang it up in both of my offices.

I hope my girls are reading this! If so, I need one of those for the house and one for each of my offices. My clients need to hear that as well! Now, I need to process and think. Maybe a blog series, eventually? I dunno. If I do that, it will be after I shut my mouth for 6 months ūüôā

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Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Here are the Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers. Every day we get on our phones and scroll aimlessly through social media. We comment on and like our friend’s photos. We even comment on and like celebrities’ photos. Every day we are exposed to pictures and other media that hurt our self-esteem. Every time we go on social media, we see images of people who look a way that we don’t or have things that we don’t, and that causes us to think more negative things about ourselves because we are those other people.

Kids Getting Phones TOO Soon

Kids are getting phones younger and younger these days. I am not shaming anyone, but I feel that it is vital that we look at how social media and phones can affect young and impressionable kids.

 

Growing up, I got a phone when I was in 7th grade. I had to share the phone with my many brothers and sisters. Looking back, creating my social media at such a young age was a stupid idea. From then on, I noticed how much I started to compare myself to other girls. I began to despise myself after a while because I didn’t look like the girls I saw on the internet. I couldn’t fit into a size zero, where my body image issues started.

 

What Happened After a Couple of Years

 

After two years, I slowly started skipping meals. It started slow, maybe skipping a meal or two a week. It got worse rather quickly. I went from only missing one or two meals a week to only eating once a week. I truly felt that there was nothing wrong with that behavior. I felt normal. I got down to a very small size, the smallest I’ve been, and It just wasn’t good for me. Even though I was tiny, I felt like I was 400 pounds. The truth is, I still haven’t fully recovered from my eating disorder. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I started eating more regularly. It’s been rough trying to get myself back on track.

 

It wasn’t until I decided to delete my¬†TikTok¬†and other apps that hurt me mentally That I realized how much those apps impacted me. It was such a toxic environment, and I decided I didn’t want to live in such a vicious cycle. It was genuinely never-ending. Exposing young children, especially young girls, is harmful. I am very passionate about it because I know how much it has affected me.

 

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Life or Something Like It

The Little Squares of Life

The Little Squares of Life

The Little Squares of Life

In The Little Squares of Life, what do you see? I see skinny people with flawless makeup (the women anyway). Also, I see homemade meals and clean, organized houses. Pets can speak three languages and never need walking because they can use the toilet. Little humans wearing matching clothes never shed a tear or throw a royal fit. They are always smiling with their perfectly cut hair.

What I See

I see manicured yards, ideally educated children. These children speak the same languages as their pets plus one more for fun. They are involved in 25 sports each and excel at each mark. People who love Jesus are the world’s holy ones. They are most certainly blessed with new cars, new houses, and health. Everyone seems to be healthy. Happy, all photos are of happy people.

What a delusion!

Behind The Little Squares of Life is the reality. Marriages falling apart behind the smiles. Kids with dirt under their fingernails and enough earwax to make a candle. Sickness behind the smiles, whether that is life-altering illnesses or mental illnesses and anything in between. It could be a chronic thing or a thing they are too embarrassed to see a doctor for. In that scenario, they are too ashamed to go and ask because they are afraid of what they will find. Taking that further, they are so scared nothing is wrong, and they have embarrassed themselves in front of their doctor and now have a bill to pay.

Reality

Burnt dinners, mailboxes with something green growing on them. Weeds are hidden amongst the hostas. Addictions, hatefulness, and spikes in anger run rampant‚ÄĒpeople who are broken and tired because of a wayward child. Adult children are now turning into the parents of their parents who are sick.

Green for a Reason

Yes, a beautiful green yard can be seen from across the way. Lush green grass that looks like it is taunting you to come across the street and walk barefoot through it. You don’t realize that as you take your shoes off and tiptoe in the neighbor’s yard, you suddenly feel the truth. That lush green grass is lush for a reason. They have a septic issue, and you are walking through feces water.

Good times.

When are we going to start living in the reality of life? Why do we (I) continue to compare ourselves to others when I know the story behind the picture. I get so tired of this little game that may be in my head.

Take a Moment

Behind every picture is pain a lot of times. The one who loves her pets more than the typical person may be the one who struggles with infertility. There is the one that smiles through daily death or near-death experiences due to a calling of her life. One is always smiling with her children, yet divorce is on the horizon due to addiction.

Every picture is different.

Also, every person is different. Do not ever assume something based on a snapshot. Please, for love, do not judge those who think he/she should “know” better. Someone who “should not have” adopted children. Thoughts on if a person is too overweight or underweight.

People hide their pain behind humor and smiles.

They want you to think about all the good things about them because they are hurting so deeply. If you get too close, you will smell fear on them or pain. Then the questions come that they may or may not know the answer to.

You Can Help

Ask someone (a friend, family, acquaintance, or a stranger) how their day is BUT mean it. Maybe they will be honest with you, from that point on, pra for them. Now, don’t just say you will pray for them. Honestly, most people say that, and they never do it. You can be different. Lay your hands on them and pray for them. Send them off with a smile.

Ask how you can help. Do they need children’s care? A meal or a ride? Is there some spot where you can be the hands and feet of Jesus for that person? Send them Scripture through text or FB message. Take the sin out of social media and interject Jesus all over it!