Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

 

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

I wonder what kind of mom I will be

{I} get anxious thinking about it

I wanted this for so long

But now that it is here, I am scared

 

Love and Fear

I love you more than life itself

But you scare me 

I don’t want to blink and you will be gone

The thought of losing you is unbearable

And you aren’t even here yet

 

My Desire

I want to be a good mom

But I know I will make mistakes

I want to admit to you when I make a mistake

So you know that it’s ok to make mistakes

As long as we learn from them

 

What I See

I see so many families

Hurting, every day

Because of poor choices, the parents made

I can’t be that kind of mom

You don’t deserve that

 

What You Deserve

{You} deserve everything

You deserve the world

I want to preserve your innocence

Shield you from this world

 

Will I?

I wonder if I will be good enough

That is the theme of my life

It has always been there

It always will be

 

Love

I love you more than life itself

But I wonder if I will be a good mom

You deserve a good mom

I want to be that for you

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End the Stigma, Quotes

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

 

Here is some Perspective from Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.  This is what to do when you overreact and have regret.  “Many people have asked me do you ever get mad and of course I answer “well yes, everyone gets mad sometimes.”  The important thing is what we do with the mad that we feel in life.

A few weeks ago coming home from a particularly tough day at work, I stopped to see my two grandsons.  Their mom and dad weren’t there but the boys were there with the babysitter in the backyard, squirting water with hoses.  I could see that they were really having fun.  but I felt that I needed to let them know that I didn’t want to be squirted.

Do Not Squirt Me

So I told them so, and little by little, I could feel that the older boy, Alexander, was testing the limit until finally, his hose was squirting very close to where I was standing.  I said to him in my harshest voice, Okay, that’s it alexander turn off the water, you’ve had it.

He did as I told him and said he was sorry and looked very sad.  The more I thought about it, the sadder I got.  I realized Alexander had not squirted me.  That I had stepped into his and his brother’s playtime with a lot of feelings leftover from work.

Guilt

So when I got home, I called Alexander, on the phone.  I told him I felt awful about my visit with him. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was taking out my anger from work on him.  I told him I was really sorry.

Do you know how he answered me?  Oh, Baba, everybody makes mistakes sometimes.  I nearly cried.  I was so touched by his naturally generous heart.  I realized that if I hadn’t called him, I might not have ever received that wonderful gift of Alexander’s sweet forgiveness.”