I Wonder What I Will Be Like

A note from Brandi:
This guest post is shared with permission and reflects the personal experience and perspective of the writer. It discusses motherhood, parenting fears, anxiety, self-doubt, love, and wanting to be a good parent. It is offered for awareness, encouragement, and education. It is not therapy, clinical advice, medical advice, or a substitute for professional care. Please consult qualified professionals regarding your specific situation.

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

I wonder what kind of mom I will be

{I} get anxious thinking about it

I wanted this for so long

But now that it is here, I am scared

Love and Fear

I love you more than life itself

But you scare me 

I don’t want to blink and you will be gone

The thought of losing you is unbearable

And you aren’t even here yet

My Desire

I want to be a good mom

But I know I will make mistakes

I want to admit to you when I make a mistake

So you know that it’s ok to make mistakes

As long as we learn from them

What I See

I see so many families

Hurting, every day

Because of poor choices, the parents made

I can’t be that kind of mom

You don’t deserve that

What You Deserve

{You} deserve everything

You deserve the world

I want to preserve your innocence

Shield you from this world

Will I?

I wonder if I will be good enough

That is the theme of my life

It has always been there

It always will be

Love

I love you more than life itself

But I wonder if I will be a good mom

You deserve a good mom

I want to be that for you

Guest Post Disclaimer:
Guest posts reflect the personal views and lived experiences of the writer. They do not necessarily represent clinical advice, medical advice, therapy, or the views of Barefoot Faith Journey or Circle of Hope Counseling Services. Blog content is educational and inspirational only and does not create a therapist-client relationship.