missing a loved one

The Real Truth About Death and Grief

In The Real Truth About Death and Grief, my guest blogger goes through her emotions of losing her brother at a very young age. The loss of a sibling is devastating to the other children, as well as, the parents. It is unimaginable pain that lingers for so very long.

The Real Truth About Death and Grief

Dearest Z,

A kid my age I knew from school came in, and he reminds me so much of you. He has something wrong with him medically, and he walks just like you did when you got sick. I saw him, and that made a bad day worse. Seriously, I wanted to give him a big hug. Then, I tried to crawl under the register and cry. I miss you so much. It has been five years. I can’t believe it. You deserve to be here, bub. I think that you would be married with a family now. You would be a good dad.

Honest Prayer

I prayed to God every night for years that it was me instead of you. Honestly, I prayed that I could take all your pain away. I wanted to make you better, and I couldn’t. That seems to be a recurring theme in my life. I joke about you being dead, but that’s how I cope with you being gone.

I’m sorry we left you with mom. I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you that last year. I would have gone through whatever T threw at me to be with you last year. Mom told me about how you asked for me every day after your seizure, and that story hurts my heart. She told me about how you thought you saw me running around the foot of your bed every night before you went to bed. I am sorry I wasn’t there for that. I wish I were there to be running around your bed.

Life isn’t the same without you. I missed your voice, hugs, and yelling at me when I tried to help you walk. Honestly, I miss you, dude. You were a light to anyone who knew you, and I miss your presence.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for the beginning of healing. I have an awareness of where healing needs to happen. Also, I know the route that must be taken to walk through the pain that leads to healing.

The Things You Need to Know About Nana

In The Things You Need to Know About Nana, my guest blogger uses her words to convey the love she has for her grandmother. They had a tight bond that this young girl missed terribly.

Dearest Nana

The past six years of my life have been awful, and you not being here has made that even. You were my person, and you left me. I had to deal with everything alone, and to be honest. I am sick of it. You were the glue that held the family together. Once you died, everything changed. I wish I could put into words how much I miss you. Honestly, I know it is selfish, but I would give anything for you to be here with me. I feel like life would be better if you were here. Sadly, I miss my best friend, the one I knew I could count on for everything. I miss the person who was brutally honest with me.

I wish we could lie together and watch one more scary movie. Or, I wish I could sleep in the bed with you one more time. I wish I could hear more stories from your childhood. I always enjoyed those. Furthermore, I want to listen to you try to pronounce “Aluminum” one last time. That was hilarious. I took my time with you for granted.

I’m sorry I couldn’t heal you. I couldn’t make you feel better. I did everything I could. It’s important you know I did my best. I was young, and I did the best I could. When you first got sick, I prayed to God that you at least lived until I was Eleven. Two and a half months after my Eleventh birthday, you died. That has haunted me since the day you died. I’m sorry. Losing you is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, and it’s a wound time will never heal.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for my granny. There has never been another person like her. She loved so completely. I miss her face, her hugs, and her love. Granny knew everything. I could come to her with anything, and she would tell me what to do. When I was in the wrong, she was quick to correct me. Yes, I would cry, hurting my feelings, but in the end, she was right. Geez, I miss her.