Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

 

Memories with My Mom. My earliest memories of my mom are when she would rock me and sing silly old songs that would make me giggle. We would play hide and seek, sit outside on the glider, and swing for a long time. 

We had snuggled in the bed, played with Barbie dolls, or watched me dress up about a million times just because she wanted to. We rode our bikes down the dead-end street and the car rides we would take to Granny’s or Jojo’s house. 

I love my mom. 

She is the best kind of mom a kid could have. My mom and dad were strict, but they made rules up for me to keep us in a structured house, and we always managed to have fun. She always took me to church on Sundays and AWANA on Wednesdays; she homeschooled us for the longest time, which I know at times must have been challenging for her with three kids. 

We would always do fun things together as a family and were all close. My mom always opened her home and heart to foster children and kids that we eventually adopted into our family, which caused us to grow in numbers.

My Thoughts

I must have made my mom’s life challenging because I was a considerably difficult child. There were a lot of things wrong in my life. Our relationship has hit lots of bumps in the road. I am very stubborn and unwilling to try new things because I am always afraid I will mess it up and embarrass myself. 

She gave me so many things that I asked for (begged for) without hesitation because she knew I wanted them. I never truly appreciated all of her wisdom and knowledge because I always think my way is best, and I know what I am doing is right. 

So many mistakes. 

I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt my mother on more than one occasion, yet she still loves me and still forgives me. No matter what. I love my mom. I love her kind and gentle soul. Her willingness to help others at moments of notice. The way she cooks with love and affection (she is the most fantastic cook). She is still in love with my dad after years of marriage. She still loves me even after all that I have put her through. 

So many tears. 

I can still see the look on her face when I told her I screwed up again. She gave me so many chances that I honestly did not deserve. She has been there for me through joyous occasions, heartbreak, funny moments, and moments of pride when I accomplish something the right way.

Communication

She has helped me learn how to communicate. To use my words even though that is sometimes very hard for me. Sometimes, I do not know how to articulate times properly. She has been there for me through my depression and anxiety. Honestly, I do not know how to handle it properly yet. She has been there for me throughout my whole school education. Also, she has supported me during the most challenging moments of college. She is the best person. Even if she says she isn’t, she is.

Strength

I do not care what she says. She is an excellent mother who does her best under certain circumstances that are out of her control. We are the very definition of a blended family. We have all kinds of mental health problems, physical problems, trauma, etc. And she is so graceful in dealing with everything she has dealt with in the past.

Hindsight is 20/20

I wish I were not the cause of some of her heartache. Also, I hope I had just listened to her instead of trying to do things my way. I wish that I had not asked for all of those things just because I wanted them. Honestly, I have prayed so hard that our relationship would be strengthened. At that moment, I vowed that I would always be honest and communicate with her whenever she asked, even if it was hard for me.

Answered Prayers

I have admitted some things to her that I can not even accept about myself. We have been open with each other, and we have gotten so much closer than we used to be, which I am so thankful for. God answered my prayers. I am gaining wisdom from her, and my communication has improved with time and patience. 

She is my rock and the one person I can trust never to judge me. I know she loves me with all of her heart, and I know that she prays for me every night. I can only hope that one day I will be like her. She is an amazing person. 

Mom, I love you more than words can even describe. 

I am so blessed and thankful that God chose you and Dad to be my parents. I am so sorry for all the times I made you cry over me. I am grateful for all the times you have been there for me, the times you have forgiven me, and the times that you have extended grace towards me. You inspire me with your strength every day. 

Mom, you are always the one to go without hesitation to help us kids. Lately, to sit with us in the hospital for days on end. You have such a giving soul. I have seen it through the relationships and friendships that you have had in the past. I can only hope that one day I will be like you.

Thank You

Thank you for everything you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every day. You are a gift and a treasure, and I will love you for the rest of my days on Earth. Know your worth (like you tell me every day). Know how much of a blessing you are to your family and friends because of your giving heart.

I love you, momma.

Always and forever.

Love, Peach.

 

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