Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

“I love when somebody says about a woman, ‘Oh, she’s too much.  She’s too much for me.”  Too much of what?  Too much of an opinion?  She laughs too loudly?  Stands too tall?  Takes up too much space?  What would be the right amount and not too much?  She’d have to be less.  That’s what you are saying.  You’re saying BE LESS, if she’s too much.  You know what I think?  I think she should not give a f*ck about what you think about her.”  ~ Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

All the Feels

Oh, does this stir up so many emotions inside? Throughout my life, I’ve been told a lot of things. I’ve been called too loud, too opinionated, and told I can’t Biblically submit to my husband because I’m too “Type A.” I’ve been told that no one will ever take me seriously because I ask questions, or because my hair is pink (currently purple).

For the last two years, I’ve been told that I’m not a good mom because of these very traits. That I shouldn’t be raising my children. I’ve been told to quiet down, conform, be small, be less than, fit in, don’t make waves, and shut up.

The weight of those words has been heavy, but I’m learning that they don’t define me. They don’t define my worth, my voice, or my purpose. And neither do they define who I am as a mother.

Shrinking

For a while now, I’ve been shrinking back. Staying home, sleeping too much, eating too much, crying, and hiding. I allowed others to walk all over me, spoke to me in ways I would never have tolerated before, and accepted far more than I should have. I’ve been holding back in so many areas of my life.

But it really hit me when I was getting ready to go on a little day trip to see family. For the first time in a while, I did my hair, put on makeup, and chose an outfit that covered almost all of my tattoos. It was something that felt like it “fit” the expectations of what a woman my age should wear—nothing too attention-grabbing. I even put on a pair of shoes that I thought would be seen as acceptable.

When we arrived, I ended up sitting quietly in a corner, smiling as I was supposed to. I spoke when prompted and tried to take up as little space as possible—physically and emotionally.

The funny thing is, the shoes I wore didn’t faze anyone in that room, except for three people. They commented on them, as if they were surprised by the fact that I wasn’t wearing something that felt truly me. I told them I didn’t want to embarrass anyone and that I just wanted to blend in.

But that moment stayed with me. It reminded me that I was trying to shrink myself, to fit in and avoid standing out. The truth is, I didn’t just want to blend—I wanted to hide. But even when I tried to do so, my authenticity couldn’t be ignored. I realized in that moment: I’m not meant to blend. I’m meant to stand tall and embrace who I truly am.

Words of Love and Wisdom

My sister—her face, her love—it’s undeniable. She looked at me and asked, Why would you want to blend in?

We wanted you here for who you are, not for any other reason.

She loves me for me. All of me. The sparkly, glittery, tattooed, purple-haired human that I am.

But standing tall hasn’t always felt safe. When I draw attention to myself, I get the judgmental looks, the cutting words—the ones that don’t lift but tear down. The actions of others have altered the course of my life in ways I never wanted. So, I tried to shrink and make myself small. I want to be present but unseen and to love my people and support them—without taking up space.

But her words have been bouncing around in my head ever since. Then, I heard this quote, and suddenly, everything began to fall into place:

I am NOT too much.
Space? I am ALLOWED to take up space.
I am BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY created.

And these adult bullies—they will not stop me from being who I am. I’ve allowed them to take up too much of my mind, my heart, my confidence. And you know what? Enough is enough.

I Am

Going to have purple hair.

Getting more tattoos.

Going to swear occasionally.

Fluffy.

Amazing.

Enough.

Good.

Great mom.

Excellent Lolli.

AMAZING wife.

Beautiful.

Creative.

Feminine.

Worthy.

I am a child of the King.

Love Yourself

To those reading this—you are all of these things, too! Be bold, be loud, be soft, be quiet—be you. If you want to wear a crop top, do it. Throw on all the glitter, color your hair, have opinions, and love people who see the world differently than you. That’s what we are called to do.

Some of my closest friends are my complete opposites, and guess what? I love that. I learn from them, respect them, and cherish them. No matter your size, age, beliefs, background, or family dynamics—you are worthy of love, and I have no desire to judge you. I’ve felt the weight of judgment far too long myself.

My tribe may be as small as a period at the end of a sentence, but they are faithful and true. We can have deep conversations, disagree, and still love each other fiercely. That’s because we see each other, allow space for one another to exist fully, and celebrate the beauty of being exactly who we are.

Ooooh.

ALL. THE. FEELS.

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