Tag: Faith in Hard Times

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

How to Return to Joy (Even if You Feel Numb)

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How to Return to Joy (Even if You Feel Numb)

How to Return to Joy (Even if You Feel Numb)

There’s a unique ache in knowing you should feel joy but realizing you can’t. You see laughter in a room, sunlight on a warm day, beauty in a sunset… and you feel nothing.

It can be unsettling and it can make you wonder if you’ll ever get that spark back.

If you’re in this place, you’re not broken. You’re not faithless. And you’re not alone. Numbness is often your heart’s way of saying, “I’ve carried too much for too long, and I need a safe place to rest.”

The good news? Joy isn’t gone forever. And you don’t have to “fake it” to get it back.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Be Where You Are

Joy doesn’t return by force. The more you shame yourself for not feeling it, the further away it can seem. Start by acknowledging: “I’m in a season of healing, and that’s okay.”

Even David, the man after God’s own heart, wrote psalms from places of deep sorrow and weariness. God isn’t asking you to hide your numbness; He’s inviting you to bring it to Him.

2. Remember That Joy Is Different from Happiness

Happiness is tied to circumstances. Joy is rooted in God’s presence.
You may not feel like dancing or laughing right now, but joy can begin quietly, like a small light flickering in the dark, when you remember who is holding you.

Scripture to hold: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10

3. Start With Small Sensory Reminders

When we’re numb, our senses often shut down. Gently re-engage them:

  • Light a candle and focus on its scent.

  • Wrap yourself in a warm blanket and notice the texture.

  • Step outside and feel the sun on your skin.

These small acts tell your nervous system, “It’s safe to be present here.”

4. Seek Connection—Even if It’s Just One Person

Isolation feeds numbness. Choose one safe person to check in with regularly. This could be a friend, mentor, or therapist. You don’t have to be “on.” You just have to show up.

5. Create Moments of Gratitude You Don’t Have to Feel

Sometimes, gratitude starts as an action before it becomes an emotion. Write down three things each day that you’re thankful for even if you can’t feel thankfulness yet. Over time, the act of noticing can help your heart thaw.

6. Invite God Into the Silence

Numbness can feel like God is far away, but Scripture reminds us: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:18)

If words don’t come easily, sit in stillness and breathe in His presence. Let the Holy Spirit intercede for you when you can’t find the language.

💛 Gentle Encouragement

Your joy will return and not because you force it, but because the God who gave it to you is faithful to restore it. Healing takes time, but numbness is not the end of your story.

One day, maybe when you least expect it, something will make you smile again. And you’ll realize the light never fully went out. It was just waiting for you to rest long enough to see it.

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Faith Journey, Medical, Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome

Before the Shaking Began

Brandi C

before the shaking began

A Sweet Night at the Ball Field

On this day in 2017, Before the Shaking Began, I had been with my Lady, and I knew her family was coming into town. I wanted to give them time together, so I took all my kids to one of my son’s baseball games. It was a warm evening, the kind where summer storms tease the horizon but never quite make it to the field. The game was something everyone could enjoy, and I looked forward to the joy of watching my kids just be kids.

H hadn’t been to a baseball game since the previous summer. Now that he was a little older—he had turned three that February—I knew he’d enjoy it even more.

And oh, he did.

He absolutely charmed everyone around us. Then, he shamelessly ate their popcorn and nachos with zero hesitation. He cheered loudly, with unfiltered excitement. He was the comic relief for everyone near us, and he loved every single minute of it.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine…”
— Proverbs 17:22a (NIV)

For that moment, everything was sweet and simple. That evening is forever etched in my memory as one of the last “normal” moments we had for a long time.

The Next Day: A Shift in the Air

The conversation from earlier that day—the kind you tuck away in the back of your mind—didn’t resurface until June 7. That was the day the world stopped turning for our family.

H was highly emotional that morning. He was doing things he shouldn’t have been doing, getting in trouble more than usual. His older brothers—sweet and patient—took him into their room to play Legos while I caught up on paperwork and phone calls.

I could hear H yelling at the boys, and I could also hear them giving in. Over and over again. I heard my oldest say, “Stop shaking. You’re not in trouble. Here, take the Lego… stop shaking.”

Stop shaking.

When H got excited or upset, he would sometimes shake his arms and legs. I assumed this was more of the same. I figured his brothers were tired of managing him and needed a break, so I called him back into the dining room.

He screamed the whole walk down the hallway. Honestly, he wanted to stay with the big boys. He cried, shook, and screamed some more. I put him in time out on the step. He continued crying—louder now—and shaking from head to toe.

I told him he needed to stop and that once he did, he could get up. Eventually, he stopped. He got up and went to play with his toys.

The Nap That Changed Everything

Lunchtime came and went. H went down for his usual nap. He had been napping since he moved in with us at 21 months old. That day was no different—he slept until about 4 p.m. My oldest son went to get him up, as he often did. He usually carried H downstairs and set him in my lap.

That moment was no different, either. H snuggled into me, and we talked about his dreams—he had dreamed about his pillow. I hugged him tight and said, “Okay, time to potty, buddy. Can you hand me your underwear?”

It was only about ten steps away.

I stood him up…

He wobbled and he stumbled.

And then… he fell.

He cried out, terrified. My heart dropped.

One of the boys quietly mentioned that the same thing had happened the day before—after a nap—but it quickly resolved, and no one thought to tell me. I brushed off the panic and told myself maybe his legs were just asleep. I snuggled him and rubbed his legs.

After a few minutes, I stood him up again.

He fell over. There was no moment where he could stand up. He couldn’t balance or walk.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”
— Psalm 56:3 (ESV)

The First ER Visit – Misdiagnosis #1

I gathered our things and called Big Daddy: “You need to meet us at the ER. Something’s wrong. H can’t walk.” I also called my oldest sister—H’s grandmother—and asked her to meet us there.

On the 30-minute drive, H kept repeating: “My legs won’t stop shaking.”

It scared him.
It scared me.

At the hospital, they did a CT scan. It came back normal. They drew blood—without gloves, mind you—and began tossing around terrifying words like Muscular Dystrophy and Cerebral Palsy. Then they pivoted, decided maybe it was Strep, even though he tested negative. They gave us Amoxicillin and sent us home.

We left that hospital with a terrifying truth:
Our baby couldn’t walk.

Friends Who Move Mountains

On the drive home, I started making calls. I called a friend whose daughter had a rare illness and ended up paralyzed when she was little. She is a pit bull—and I love that about her. She pulled strings and got us in touch with a brilliant neurologist. I also called another friend who works in the neurology world. They both said the same thing:

“Get that baby to Vandy. Don’t wait. Don’t let the grass grow under your feet.”

And that’s exactly what we did.

To be continued…

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
— Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Understanding Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS)

Brandi C

Understanding Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS)

Understanding Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS):

What It Is and Why It Matters

As part of this series on navigating life after a rare diagnosis, I wanted to take time to share more about what Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS) actually is. It’s a disorder many have never heard of, yet for the families affected by it, it becomes the center of their world overnight.

Whether you’re here because you’re walking through this with your own child, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to understand more—thank you for leaning in.

What Is OMS?

Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS) is a rare neurological disorder that most often affects young children, typically between 6 months and 3 years old. It is believed to be an autoimmune condition, where the immune system mistakenly attacks healthy cells in the nervous system, particularly in the brain.

OMS is often associated with either a recent viral illness or a neuroblastoma (a type of cancer found in the nerve tissue), although in rare cases, no clear cause is ever found.

Key Symptoms of OMS:

  • Opsoclonus: Rapid, uncontrolled eye movements in all directions (sometimes described as “dancing eyes”)

  • Myoclonus: Sudden, jerky muscle movements or spasms (also referred to as “dancing feet”)

  • Ataxia: Loss of balance and coordination, which can make walking or even sitting upright difficult

  • Irritability or behavioral changes: Mood swings, aggression, and sleep disturbances

  • Speech regression or delays: Children may lose words they previously had or stop speaking altogether

Symptoms often appear very suddenly and worsen quickly, leading to a medical emergency that requires urgent attention.

Diagnosis of OMS

Because OMS is so rare—affecting roughly 1 in 5 to 10 million children—it’s often misdiagnosed or misunderstood. There’s no single test to confirm OMS. Diagnosis is typically based on a combination of:

  • Clinical presentation of symptoms

  • MRI scans to rule out other neurological conditions

  • Urine and blood tests for tumor markers (especially if a neuroblastoma is suspected)

  • Sometimes, spinal taps or EEGs

Treatment Options

There is no cure for OMS, but early and aggressive treatment can dramatically improve outcomes. Common treatments include:

  • High-dose steroids (IV or oral)

  • IVIG (Intravenous Immunoglobulin)

  • Chemotherapy agents like Rituximab or Cyclophosphamide

  • Plasmapheresis (plasma exchange)

  • Physical, occupational, and speech therapy

Treatment typically requires a team of specialists, and relapses can happen—often triggered by illness, stress, or tapering medication. Long-term care is often needed.

What OMS Is Not

OMS is not:

  • A result of poor parenting

  • A behavioral disorder

  • A temporary condition that children just “grow out of”

  • Well understood by most general practitioners

Raising awareness is key because early diagnosis and treatment can prevent long-term neurological damage.

Faith in the Unseen

For families walking this road, the diagnosis of OMS can feel like being dropped into the middle of a storm with no map. The fear, the unknown, the way life changes in a single day—it’s all overwhelming.

But even here, in this space of confusion and questions, God is not absent. He is present in the waiting rooms, in the hospital corridors, in the shaky prayers whispered late at night. He is faithful through every test result, every unanswered question, every slow and painful recovery.

OMS may have changed the story—but it doesn’t get to define the ending.

Why This Matters

There is power in sharing knowledge. There is purpose in raising awareness. And there is hope in knowing that even in the most complex, heart-wrenching diagnoses—God still writes beautiful, redemptive stories.

This post is here so others don’t feel as alone as we once did. It’s for the parent Googling symptoms at 3 a.m., the friend wanting to, the family member unsure how to help. It’s for the ones standing in the gap and believing for healing.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for caring.

Coming Up in This Series:

  • Personal reflections on how the diagnosis reshaped our daily life

  • A post (hopefully!) in my son’s own words, sharing what he remembers

  • How faith carried us—and continues to carry us—through the unknown

Have questions about OMS or want to share your own story? Feel free to reach out or comment. This is a space of grace, education, and encouragement. You are not alone.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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8 Years Ago: The Beginning of Change

Brandi C

opsoclonus myoclonus syndrome header 300x97

8 Years Ago: The Beginning of Change

A Journey of Faith, Fear, and Finding God in the Chaos

8 Years Ago Our Lives Changed, our world shifted in a way we never saw coming. Our youngest son had just turned three, and life felt beautifully ordinary—summer evenings at the ballfield, laughter echoing through the house, and a rhythm that felt familiar. But this date became a line in the sand—the moment everything changed.

What followed was a journey of medical mystery, emotional endurance, and soul-deep transformation. It’s a story marked by suffering, but more than that, it’s a story of survival, surrender, and the relentless faithfulness of God.

Some of these moments still feel too tender to fully unpack. Some wounds remain unhealed. But after eight years, I’m ready to begin telling our story—piece by piece—and allow the Lord to begin mending what was shattered.

Life Before OMS: When Normal Was Enough

Before 2017, I had found a manageable rhythm. My anxiety and depression, diagnosed at 19, were ever-present but contained. I had learned how to live around them—how to build a life that worked within my limits.

I could go to Walmart without disassociating. I could sit in a restaurant and actually order a meal. I was active in church, involved in our homeschooling community, and genuinely enjoyed opening our home to others. It wasn’t a perfect life—but it was peaceful.

But in a single moment, peace gave way to panic.

Thrown Into the Unknown: A Mother’s Relentless Pursuit

When our son became sick, everything changed. My husband had to stay behind with our six other children. That left me—terrified, inexperienced, and already emotionally fragile—to carry the weight of a life-or-death journey.

I had to become the advocate, the nurse, the social worker, the travel coordinator, the warrior. I made the calls, booked the appointments, and crisscrossed states like Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Tennessee searching for answers.

There was no time to pray about decisions. There was no margin to grieve. I had to bury my fear and keep marching forward, making decisions most parents should never have to face—alone.

Life After OMS: From Warrior to Wounded

Our intense medical travels lasted from 2017 through 2021. After our son’s final plasmapheresis treatment, I stopped traveling long distances altogether. Then, slowly, I stopped leaving the house unless absolutely necessary.

Even things like going out for dinner became mountains I couldn’t climb. Anxiety stole parts of me I didn’t even know could be taken.

I can still work—that’s a space I can manage. I can still attend church—that’s my place of peace. But beyond that? Life feels small now. Controlled. Contained. Safe.

One night, my parents wanted Culver’s. My mom was recovering from surgery, and my dad rarely goes out. I offered to pick it up—but had to type the order into my phone so I wouldn’t forget. I had a panic attack in the car, sobbing as I called my husband. He stayed on the phone the entire time, talking me through a fast-food drive-thru.

That’s where I’m at. And it’s okay to name it.

The Weight of Trauma: Why I’m Still Healing

Years of emergency decisions have left deep emotional bruises. I lived in survival mode so long that I forgot how to live any other way.

“Do you consent to high-dose steroids and IVIG?”

“We need to prepare for the worst.”

“Sign here. And here. And here.”

“Your son needs chemo.”

“You need therapy too. Good luck finding time.”

Every one of those decisions was made in real time, without room to breathe or process. I pushed my own needs aside to save my child’s life. And now? I’m trying to find the pieces of me I left behind in hospital rooms.

A Complex Kid, A Faithful God

Our son is still medically fragile. Stress wreaks havoc on his little body. But he’s here. He’s mischievous, wildly imaginative, and brave in a way I can’t fully describe. Every year on his birthday, I send updated photos to the neurologists who doubted his survival. Their stunned responses always fill me with awe—and gratitude.

I am so thankful for the people who stood by us—those who called, prayed, donated, or simply saw us. My husband and children carried me when I couldn’t carry myself. But in those hospital rooms, it was mostly just me and my son… and God.

And let me be clear: God never left.

Even in the confusion. Even when healing didn’t look the way we wanted it to. Even in the silence. He was there.

Walking Into Healing: One Step at a Time

This story doesn’t have a clean ending yet. There are still panic attacks, still days I cancel plans, still fears I can’t always fight off. But I’m learning to hand my fear back to God—to trust that He’s still writing this story.

I’m ready to start healing. To breathe again. To trust again. Not just in doctors, or therapy, or time—but in the God who never once turned His face away from me.

If you’re walking through something hard, I hope our story reminds you: you are not alone. There is no valley too deep for God’s presence. No diagnosis, no fear, no trauma that disqualifies you from His love or your purpose.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

This month, I’ll continue sharing parts of our journey with Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS)—the diagnosis that changed everything. If you have questions, I welcome them. If you feel led to comment, please do so with kindness.

Thank you for being here—for witnessing our story and holding space for it.

There is beauty on the other side of brokenness. And I believe God is still making all things new—even here.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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The Crimson Thread in Your Tapestry

Brandi C

The Crimson Thread in Your Tapestry

The Crimson Thread in Your Tapestry

The Crimson Thread in Your Tapestry

Over the course of life, there are moments when a crimson thread weaves itself into the beautiful tapestry that is being created. This thread represents the trials and struggles that seek to disrupt joy and peace. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to stay alert because challenges come in many forms, often attempting to shake faith and hope.

A wise person once shared that happiness is based on circumstances, but true joy comes from the Lord. As Psalm 30:5b states, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” This perspective can transform how struggles are viewed—not as insurmountable obstacles, but as opportunities to lean into faith and trust.

The Battle Between Happiness and Joy

Understanding the difference between happiness and joy can bring clarity to difficult seasons. Happiness is fleeting and tied to external circumstances, while joy is rooted in the unchanging nature of God’s promises. Even in the darkest moments, joy remains available through faith, serving as an anchor in turbulent times.

Psalm 121:7-8 reassures, “The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go both now and forever.” Even when circumstances seem overwhelming, He is present, protecting and guiding through the storm.

Holding On to Hope

Life brings unexpected challenges, and sometimes it feels as though the crimson thread is overpowering the tapestry. Yet, even in uncertainty, God is always working. The call to “hold on” is not just a suggestion but a lifeline. Romans 4:18-21 speaks of Abraham’s unwavering faith, reminding that hope is never in vain.

Encouragement often comes in unexpected ways—through Scripture, through others, or even through a simple yet profound message: “Hold on.” This message may be a direct reminder that faith and perseverance will lead to restoration and renewal.

The Unseen Hand at Work

Looking back on difficult seasons, it becomes evident that God was always present, weaving together a masterpiece from what once seemed broken. Job 38:11 states, “I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’” There is comfort in knowing that no trial is beyond God’s control.

Though storms may rage and uncertainty may loom, the promise remains: “He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you” (Isaiah 30:19b). Ecclesiastes 3:11 reminds that “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Trusting in His perfect timing brings peace, even when the full picture is not yet visible.

A Tapestry of Faith

Every struggle, every victory, every moment of doubt, and every renewal of faith contributes to the intricate design of life’s tapestry. No matter how overwhelming the crimson thread may seem, it is but one part of a much larger picture—one that God is crafting with love, purpose, and grace.

Faith reassures that even when the path is unclear, the One who holds the threads sees the masterpiece in its entirety. Trust in Him, hold on to hope, and find joy in the journey, knowing that He is always present, always faithful, and always good.

 

The Crimson Thread in Your Tapestry

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services (4)

Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier

Worry has a way of creeping into our minds, filling us with doubt, fear, and endless “what ifs.” It steals our joy, drains our energy, and keeps us stuck in cycles of anxiety. But what if, instead of being a worrier, you chose to be a warrior?

A warrior faces battles head-on, not because they are fearless, but because they refuse to let fear win. A warrior acknowledges the struggle but pushes forward anyway. Life will always have challenges, but you are stronger than your worries.

Worry keeps you focused on the problem, while a warrior mindset shifts your focus to solutions. Instead of letting fear paralyze you, choose to take action. Pray, prepare, seek wisdom, and trust that God is bigger than whatever you’re facing.

How do you stop worrying and step into a warrior mindset?

  1. Trust in God’s promises. He tells us not to fear because He is with us (Isaiah 41:10). Surrender your worries to Him, knowing He is in control.
  2. Take action where you can. Some things are out of your hands, but for the things you can change—do the work, make the decision, and move forward.
  3. Speak life over yourself. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, remind yourself: I am strong. I am capable. I am not alone.
  4. Let go of what you can’t control. Worry won’t fix anything, but faith will give you peace.

Warriors don’t waste time on worry. They stand firm, trust God, and keep moving forward. Whatever battle you’re facing today, step into it with courage. Be a warrior, not a worrier. You were made for more than fear—you were made to fight and rise.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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