Depression, Guest Blogger, Medical Issues, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

What Would Happen if She Found Out

In What Would Happen if She Found Out, my guest blogger talks about what would happen if the people she loved most knew the truth?

What Would Happen if She Found Out

What Would Happen if She Found Out

That I was more different than she had ever thought

That I was the one thing she couldn’t tolerate


Would she kick me out

Or would she hate me

Would she quit loving me


I would love to say no

But in reality, the answer is yes

Yes, she would do all three


Go To Hell


I’ve been told several times growing up that it’s wrong

If you think that way, you go to Hell

If you act that way, you go to Hell


So, of course, I didn’t want to admit that I am what I am

I didn’t want anyone to know my preference

Because I myself ignored it, hoping it would go away


Yet here I am at the age I am realizing really, for the first time

What I am and which people I like

And I’m worried about her reaction if she were ever to find out.


What I Have Been Told


Growing up, I’ve been told that she would rather DIE than have a child like me

Well, a child who likes a person of the same gender

I was told that she would rather stay in the dark than be told


So I’m going to respect her wishes

And not telling her

I’ll just let her die thinking she had at least one semi-normal child

Sure it’s a lie, but at least she’ll be happy


It’s the least I can do

She deserves to be happy

And I deserve to have a standing relationship

with at least one member of my family


The Trevor Project

2 thoughts on “What Would Happen if She Found Out”

  1. This makes me very sad and to be honest angry. I definitely have thoughts on religion, but that’s for another day! 🙂 Hope you are doing well and taking care.

    1. Anger is secondary to fear and/or sadness. When you feel that emotion, stop and think “what am I afraid of” or “why am I sad about this?” It helps unmuddy the waters, so to speak. I have a lot of thoughts on religion, as a whole. I do not have a “set” religion. What I have is a relationship with Jesus. Honestly, Jesus + Nothing = Everything! Thank you for your input. I hope you and your family are well!

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