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What is Normal

What is Normal

Content Note:
This guest post is shared for Suicide Awareness Month and discusses sensitive topics that may include suicidal thoughts, self-harm, trauma, abuse, emotional pain, depression, anxiety, or crisis-level hopelessness. Please read with care. If this topic feels activating, it is okay to pause, step away, or reach out for support.

A note from Brandi:
This guest post is shared with permission and reflects the personal experience and perspective of the writer. It is offered for awareness, education, encouragement, and stigma reduction. It is not therapy, clinical advice, crisis care, medical advice, or a substitute for professional support. If you are in crisis, thinking about suicide, at risk of hurting yourself, or in immediate danger, call 911, call or text 988, or go to your nearest emergency room.

What is Normal

I sit, and I wait, and I try to think about what I can do to make myself normal

Or at least more acceptable

I could hang out with some friends

Go watch some tv and sit and chat

 

But I have to make sure I stay on topics that wouldn’t make me lie to feel like I fit in

That I feel the way they do about everything

Or something more than others

So maybe not that

 

What Should I Do?

 

Maybe I could go on a date

Sign up for a dating app

Oh no, that could be trouble

What if my friends find out I’m looking at

So no, not that

 

Ok, so I know what’s safe

Just go to bed and get some rest

But then, when I go to bed, my mind won’t shut off

And I’m stuck with the thoughts that I’m trying to ignore.

 

When I get here

This is when it gets ugly

This is when the spiral goes down

This is when I try to hurt myself

Guest Post Disclaimer:
Guest posts reflect the personal views and lived experiences of the writer. They do not necessarily represent clinical advice, therapy, crisis care, or the views of Barefoot Faith Journey or Circle of Hope Counseling Services, LLC. Blog content is educational and inspirational only and does not create a therapist-client relationship.

If you are in crisis: Please call 911, call or text 988, or go to your nearest emergency room. This blog is not monitored for crisis support. You are worthy of immediate care.

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