When Gaslighting Makes You Doubt What Happened
“That never happened.” “You’re remembering it wrong.” “You’re too sensitive.” If you’ve heard versions of those lines enough times, you know the particular disorientation that comes with them. It is the feeling of losing your grip on your own memory.
That’s gaslighting, and it’s one of the cruelest layers a betrayal can carry.
What Gaslighting Does
Emotionally, it teaches you to doubt the one instrument you’ve always relied on, your own perception. Relationally, it isolates you. If you can’t trust your read on this person, you start second-guessing your read on everyone. Spiritually, it can wear down your sense of discernment, that quiet inner knowing many of us call the Holy Spirit’s leading, until you’re not sure you can trust that either. And physically, the constant self-questioning keeps your body in a low hum of anxiety, because your brain never gets to land on solid ground.
The Clinical Piece
Gaslighting works by repetition, not by one dramatic lie but by a steady drip of denial and distortion until your confidence in your own memory erodes. Over time, people on the receiving end often report a real drop in trust of their own perception, not because their memory was actually faulty, but because they were told often enough that it was. This is sometimes paired with a pattern where the person confronted with wrongdoing flips the script, making themselves the victim and you the aggressor. If that sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it. It’s a documented pattern, and naming it is part of taking your footing back.
Where God Fits Into This
You are not crazy. You have unresolved crappy life experiences, and someone worked hard to convince you otherwise. God is not confused about what happened to you, even when the people involved insist you’re the one who’s got it wrong. He was present for the truth of it, every bit of it, and He doesn’t need you to doubt yourself to make peace with Him.
One Small Step
Start a private list, just for you, of things you know to be true. Add to it whenever your memory gets challenged. Let it become your anchor.
Disclaimer:
This post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis or feel unsafe, please contact local emergency services or call/text 988 in the United States for immediate support.
Circle of Hope Counseling Services, LLC provides therapy services to Kentucky residents. If you are located in Kentucky and would like support as you work through grief, trauma, betrayal, anxiety, or relationship pain, you can reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
Related Posts
The Difference Between Facts and Stories We Tell Ourselves
