In this piece, The Dark Days, my guest blogger describes what depression looks like for her. Yet, she perseveres and powers on.
The Dark Days
I never know when they will come
Always lurking around the corner
Like a lion ready to pounce
They come without warning
When I wake, I feel it
The darkness closes in
And I welcome it
The darkness is familiar to me
Though it is full of sadness and hurt
Trauma and the like
Part 2
But I am not surprised
I know when the time has come
For another dark day to begin
Therapy helps
Medication helps
But the dark days are still around
Brought on by stress or pain
Or sometimes for no reason at all
Those days when all I want to do
Is lying in bed and hiding from the world
Part 3
I wonder what made me this way
Why do I have these dark days?
Sometimes I understand
Sometimes I don’t
I used to be told
You have everything
How can you have these dark days?
It’s all in your head
It isn’t real
Then why do I feel this way?
Part 4
It’s not that I want to feel like this
I didn’t choose this life
I don’t choose the dark days
If I had to choose
I would choose light
Happy
Sunshine, rainbows
Sadly, they don’t come that often
Part 5
It isn’t my fault that I am this way
That the dark days chose me
I can’t help it
What I can do is try to mitigate the damage
Damage control
I never know when the next dark day will come
But I can take my meds
I can go to therapy
I can talk to the few people I trust
Part 6
Maybe
Just maybe
The dark days will go away
I can hope
I can dream
But for now, the dark days are here
The dark days don’t define me
They are not who I am
I know who I am
I am confident in who I am
Part 7
But on those days, sometimes I forget
It is a talent those days have
I don’t mean to forget, but sometimes I do
It’s like a fog over my mind
A dense, soupy fog
That distorts words
Distorts feelings
Emotions
And people
Part 8
I have to be strong
{I} can’t let the bad days hold me
I can’t let myself down into that pit
The pit where I have spent many a night
The pit is where the darkness leads
The darkness can’t take me there
No more
No more
Part 9
So I will soldier on
Put on a brave face
When the darkness comes
Because the darkness can’t take me
Not now
Not ever
You must log in to post a comment.