Lockup: Extended Stay
In Lockup: Extended Stay, I just completed a four-day stay in the hospital because of my mental health. I am not ashamed to say that’s why I was in the hospital. I needed help, and I can admit that now.
Things have been bad for me for basically a month, and I had nothing left to give. It started with me realizing that even though I have forgiven myself for my brother’s death, it didn’t make it any less painful like I was expecting. I thought that if I had forgiven myself then the hole in my heart wouldn’t feel as big.
On top of that, I have started remembering things from ten years ago and that just hasn’t worked out in my favor so far. I also had the anxiety of what to do with the information I was remembering. Do I report this even if it may ruin my family?
Do I report it even if I will have no biological family afterward? That decision was made for me, but now I’m dealing with the anxiety of wait to hear from the police. Every time the phone rings, it’s like my world stops. I start shaking, and I get really nauseous. I hate this feeling.
First Few Nights
Dawn, the Night Nurse
I am Home Now
This was written by one of my favorite people. She is so precious to my soul. I am so encouraged by the strength that it took for her to admit that there was something not quite right. There have been so many days and nights that I have seen her struggle to just maintain. The dam broke. With the help of her medical provider, his nurse, and my son…she would have never had the strength to stand up for herself. She would have never sought the help that she needed.
Since doing that, it was discovered that she has Serotonin Syndrome. There are many symptoms that range from excessive sweating to goosebumps. All of this is caused by an accumulation of serotonin. Some, your body produces, some is caused by antidepressants.
Thankfully, she is on the right medication. She was on too many SSRIs and now she has completely leveled out. There is no shame in getting help. Had she not gotten the help she needed, she would have never discovered the meds to help her were actually hurting her.