Guest Blogger, Suicide Prevention

I Will Never Be the Same

I Will Never Be the Same

 

Continued Story

My sweet friend is continuing to write her story.  She is showing so much of herself each time she writes.  In I Will Never Be the Same, she talks about disclosing to a family member.  This family member did the unthinkable.  They chose the abuser over the young girl.

I Don’t Know What is Worse

You believing what I said was true

Or wanting to sweep it under the rug.

How did you not know what was going on?

I remember one time it happened in the middle of the dining room.

Right by the sunroom you always sat in.

Reaction

Yet you act surprised when they came and got him.

Were you really oblivious or did you just not care?

The things that were done to me changed me forever.

I Will Never be the Same

I grew up to hate myself.

How am I supposed to love others if all I know is hate?

All I know is that you hated me for some reason.

You must have to wanted no one to care.

To make me feel like all you cared about was yourself…

Or worse just him.

The Great Pretender

Even after all the things he did, all you did was pretend.

Pretend it didn’t happen, pretend it didn’t matter.

Your choice to choose him ruined any chance of a relationship with me.

It messed up the relationship you had with your daughter,

Yet you still didn’t care about it.

Out of seven children all you care about it the one.

Too bad you chose the crappy son.

Liar

The one that likes to lie to everyone.

He lied to you about everything.

And he told YOU that he was sorry.

He told YOU that he had changed.

But in reality he is not who you make him out to be.

What He Could Have Done

If he was, he would have apologized to Me.

Or at least to his sister and his FAMILY.

All he did was manipulate.

So I hope it was worth it for you.

I hope the loss of a relationship with your grandchild and

the loss of a good standing relationship with a daughter

Is what you can live with for your decisions.

Even Now

Even now when you’re old and confused,

You know deep down you made the wrong excuse.

To choose the one person who ended a whole family with one decision.

I hope one day I’ll forgive you.

For all the things you’ve done.

And not just this one.

But until then you can stay there.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Related Posts

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

My Life is Hard

Promised Suicide

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