Depression, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

I have struggled with Depression and Anxiety a Young Age since I was young. My parents divorced when I was two and a half years old. Then both parents remarried. My mom had two other daughters with my stepfather. He was mentally and physically abusive to my mother, sisters, and me. I never knew my birth father. He had remarried and lived somewhere else. I didn’t have any contact with him. Never did I know the truth until later.

The Truth Comes Out

I didn’t know he was my stepfather until I was 8. When I found out, I cried because I was confused. I remember seeing my real dad on visitation right after he and my stepmom married. That was when I was four, and that was the last time I saw him until I was 14. No one ever talked about my real dad. Then, one day, I asked my stepdad about the man who kidnapped me. That was the story my mom always told me. My stepfather, however, wanted to tell me the truth that he was not my real dad. He tried to tell me that the man I was told kidnapped me was my biological father.

Seeking Approval

At such an early age, I was always seeking my mother’s approval. I guess I did this because she never was around. Since she was never around, I was taking care of my sisters. Someone had to be the mother after her second divorce. Sadly, I was molested by one of my mother’s boyfriends when I was 12. When I was 13, my mother left my sisters and me. There was no reason, no goodbye, nothing.

Life After She Left

I lived with family members until they didn’t want me. Then I ended up living with my best friend and her mom. Finally, at age 15, my birth father contacted me, and I went to live with him and his family. The transition was tough because I had never really had a family before. That transition took a lot of getting used to for me. Having a stepmother, not knowing how to deal with her or what to expect from her. My birth mother was not a mother at all.

I Missed My Sisters

My sisters were living with other family members. I had to get used to having a father who didn’t physically abuse me. He was trying to be a father to me, which I was not used to having. Furthermore, I was learning how to cope with my anxiety and depression by myself. Sure my stepmother got me into therapy as soon as I moved here. Sadly, I didn’t know how to apply it to myself to help me. I was 15 years old and still hurt by my mother abandoning my sisters and me. She didn’t feel like being a mother anymore. I didn’t see my sisters again until I was 19 years old.

Still Seeking Approval

I tried too hard to have a relationship with my stepmother. It was next to impossible to have one with her. She was challenging to get along with, but I still tried. I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school. We started dating when I was 16, and he was 15, soon to be 16. He was my best friend. Still, I struggled so badly with my anxiety and depression. Our marriage had some pretty rough patches that changed me forever.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

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