Guest Blogger, Medical Issues

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

I have been Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age.  Since I was a young child.  My parents divorced when I was two and a half years old.  Then both parents remarried.  My mom had two other daughters with my stepfather.  He was mentally and physically abusive to my mother.  Also, to my sisters and me.  I never knew my real father.  He had remarried and lived somewhere else.  I didn’t have any contact with him.  Never did I know the truth until later.

The Truth Comes Out

I didn’t know he was stepfather until I was 8 years old.  When I found out, I cried because I was confused.  I remember seeing my real dad on visitation once right after he and my stepmom got married.  That was when I was 4 and that was the last time I saw him until I was 14.  No one ever talked about my real dad.  Then, one day, I asked my stepdad about the man who kidnapped me.  That was the story I was always told by my mom.  My stepfather, however, wanted to tell me the truth that he was not my real dad.  He wanted to tell me that the man I was told kidnapped me was actually my biological father.

Seeking Approval

At such an early age, I was always seeking the approval of my mother.  I guess I did this because she never was around.  Since she was never around, I was taking care of my sisters.  Someone had to be the mother after her second divorce.  Sadly, I was molested by one of my mother’s boyfriends when I was 12.  When I was 13 my mother left my sisters and me.  There was no reason, no goodbye, nothing.

Life After She Left

I lived with family members until they didn’t want me.  Then I ended up living with my best friend and her mom.  Finally, at the age of 15, my real father got in contact with me and I went to live with him and his family.  This was extremely hard because I never really had a family before.  That transition took a lot of getting used to.  Having a stepmother, not knowing how to deal with her, or what to expect from her.  My real mother was not a mother at all.

I Missed My Sisters

My sisters were living with other family members.  I had to get used to having a father who didn’t physically abuse me.  He was trying to be a father to me and that was something I was not used to.  Furthermore, I was learning how to cope with my anxiety and depression pretty much by myself.  Sure my stepmother got me into therapy as soon as I moved here.  Sadly, I didn’t know how to apply it to myself to help me.  I was 15 years old and still so hurt by my mother abandoning my sisters and me.  She simply didn’t feel like being a mother anymore.  I didn’t see my sisters again until I was 19 years old.

Still Seeking Approval

I tried too hard to have a relationship with my stepmother.  It was next to impossible to have one with her.  She was so difficult to get along with, still, I tried.  I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school.  We started dating when I was 16 and he was 15, soon to be 16.  He was my best friend.  Still, I struggled so bad with my anxiety and depression.  Our marriage had some pretty rough patches that changed me forever.

Tomorrow is the rest of the story…

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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