Tag: postpartum depression

Guest Blogger

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

Brandi C
Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope
pexels.com

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

 

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope. Life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs at us. We never know what’s just around the corner, whether it’s losing a job to being diagnosed with a new health condition. Fortunately, there are ways that Barefoot Faith Journey presents some examples of major life changes. This article offers a few quick bits of advice on what you might do when facing them.

 

Starting a New Business

 

If you’ve recently lost your job and decided that entrepreneurship was the path for you, congratulations. Not only are you facing adversity with a positive mindset, but you’re also on the most feasible path to gaining personal wealth. One quick tip to help this process is to form a limited liability company (LLC).

 

An LLC is a limited liability company, which reduces the chances of your personal assets being seized if your business gets sued. It’s a fairly flexible structure that you can file on your own using an online formation service. The online formation service will also have local laws and regulations around business formation.  All of this is located in one convenient place for you to research.

 

The Death of a Spouse

 

Losing a spouse, especially when you have been together for decades, is a horribly painful loss to endure. In fact, it is so painful that 66% of people risk dying within 90 days after the loss of their partner, explains the National Council on Aging. Although the grief may feel unbearable, your purpose does not have to end at this tragic moment. Talk with friends and family. You can also celebrate the memories you shared, and do things that are right for you. This can mean moving or dating once again, when the time is right.

 

New Health Condition

 

Every day, millions of Americans are diagnosed with new health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer. There are many ways to cope with these, and it starts with understanding your condition. Next, set up a support network, create realistic goals for yourself, and focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. You might also talk to your doctor about taking health supplements that can help with fatigue, brain fog, and more.

 

Having a Baby

 

You have likely heard people say that having a baby changes everything. However, you have no idea how true this is until you have that adorable little wrinkled bundle safe and sound in their crib home. The Baby Chick blog explains having a baby causes you to worry more, and you may experience changes within your relationship.

 

While many of the changes you’ll experience as a new parent are positive, you may also experience exhaustion and, in some cases, postpartum depression. Look for ways to get enough sleep, create a support network, and make healthy lifestyle changes, such as eating well and exercising.

 

It’s also common to feel like a stranger in your own body, as it may look and feel different than before your pregnancy. One way that you can focus on feeling and looking your best is to buy new clothes. Look for comfortable clothes that don’t sacrifice style, such as leggings, versatile dresses, and a flirty yet comfortable nightgown. Indeed, this may work to help you cope with caring for your new baby.

 

Losing Your Home

 

Whether it’s from fire, foreclosure, or some other unforeseeable event, losing your home is devastating. Similar to losing a loved one, you’re likely to experience grief, confusion, anger, and many other feelings. But you must accept that it’s time to start over and move on. Remember, you can’t bring back the past, but you can create a new future for yourself.

 

Supporting Your Mental Health

 

Each of these situations (and others not listed) will put your mental health at risk. There are some situationally-specific strategies you can use, but there are also more generalized ways to cope with grief, depression, and hopelessness. First and foremost, seek professional help. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and should be used anytime you need someone to talk to, especially after a big change.

 

Then, add small things to your daily activities that will help you to move out of your grief and depression. Being out in nature has been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, so take a walk or start a garden. You can visit https://homegardenhero.com/ for simple home gardening tips, including what to grow in your area.

 

Make time for the people you love – and who love you – even when you don’t feel like being social. Simply getting out of the house for lunch or coffee can make a big difference in your mental health, and each visit with loved ones will remind you that you are supported and loved.

 

Take Small Steps to Manage Challenging Situations

 

While no one has a crystal ball to know what will happen in the future, it pays to be mentally prepared for the unexpected. This doesn’t mean that you sit around and fixate on what might be, only that you know your options when facing a crisis. For some comfort and distraction, read more engaging posts on the Barefoot Faith Journey blog!

 

From starting a new business after losing the job to dealing with the lack of sleep that comes with having a new baby or learning how to manage diabetes or other conditions, today’s tips are a great quick reference guide that can help you maintain control during the chaos.

 

From unique recipes to inspirational topics, Barefoot Faith Journey has something for you.

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Brandi C

 

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Postpartum Depression and Suicide are real things. The girls’ first 14 months of life were traumatizing for me as their mom. They had several health issues such as Intrauterine Growth Restriction, Small For Gestational Age, Failure To Thrive, and many other things. On the day of my 30th birthday, things took a turn. The girls were seven months old. I hadn’t heard from hardly anyone that day. I felt everyone had forgotten this birthday—honestly, even my husband. I didn’t hear from him until NOON.

 

The Plan

 

That is when Postpartum Depression and Suicide collided. On the way home that day, from running some errands, I had hit my lowest point. I was going to end it. I had it all planned out. Then, there was a moment when I heard babble. It was one of my sweet girls reminding me they were still here. It was God reminding me that He wasn’t done with me yet.

 

Getting Help

 

The next day, I spoke to a friend, and she gave me the name of her therapist. I called her and began my therapy. Therapy taught me so much about myself. I learned that grief came in many forms and looked different for everyone. I learned that the grief from losing Grandaddy and the trauma from the girls had all added up. I was suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). I did not get any medication because therapy was enough for me. I began to deal with my grief and even issues from my childhood that had gone unresolved.

 

Unexpected Blessing

 

When the girls were 14 months old, I unexpectedly found out I was expecting again. We also got a diagnosis for our girls at this time (just before finding out about our pregnancy). I was so scared of PPD again, but I knew I could get through it. I did well. We had a healthy boy with no IUGR (though he did have a heart defect that resolved on its own by six months of age). I first felt him kick about 16 weeks into my pregnancy. Would you like to guess what was on the radio when this happened?

 

“Baby Blues”

 

I had a little of the “baby blues” with hormones balancing back out, but I did okay. We went on to have another unexpected pregnancy that took a turn for complications at 26 weeks and again at 31 weeks. I didn’t feel him kick until about 19 weeks into my pregnancy, which scared me. Grandaddy’s song came on the radio while I was driving down the road, and I felt it. This little kick reassured me. It was his favorite song to kick as well. I had been worried about it but was told I had an anterior placenta, so that could be normal. Our sweet baby was delivered and was, again, IUGR, and the diagnosis was missed.

 

Life Got Complicated

 

Things went on, and life got complicated for a while. After a few months, I messaged my OB and my old therapist and told them I was NOT okay. My old therapist said that meds might be a good idea. My OB called me with a prescription. I also started the process to begin therapy again (and then COVID happened and put a wrench in THAT!).

 

Looking Back

 

It has been four years since that day when I thought it was all over. Two more babies have been born with our youngest, over a year old. I still think about Grandaddy every day. All of my babies know who he is and can identify him in pictures. They talk about him when they ask questions. My girls have discovered grapefruit, and one likes it. I told her that Grandaddy also loved it, so she brags about that. In so many things, I see him. I know he has truly been watching over us.

 

All Four of my Kids Still Love that Song

 

They will dance and “sing” to it. Life isn’t perfect, but I have weaned off of my anti-depressant now. Every day isn’t great, as our girls are special needs and require more care. Two days before my 34th birthday, I ended my relationship with my narcissistic mom. My 34th birthday came and went with no drama. That day was filled with peace.

 

  1. AM. A. SURVIVOR.

 

PPD and other postpartum-related illnesses affect so many. The day I turned 30, I didn’t know I was struggling with it, but I did see that I couldn’t go on. There is treatment available, and there is help. The help that will not judge you and the assistance that will support you and help you through. Please, please know that you are not alone and you are not at fault. You are strong, and you are a warrior. You can do this, and you can survive. I have battle scars, but I have fought hard, and they show that. Those scars show the fight. They remind me where I have been and that God is not done with me yet.

Resources

Postpartum HelpLine 800.944.4773

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Where to Start

Brandi C

Where to Start

Where to Start

Where to Start? I guess I will tell the story of my darkest time yet most significant recovery. I should start at the beginning. My husband and I struggled with infertility for years. After testing, we were told that seeing a fertility specialist was our only option for having our children. We were advised there that IVF was our best option.

Beginning IVF

We began our cycle in May 2015. June 5, 2015, was the day we were scheduled to have our embryo transfer. An embryo transfer is where they transfer the embryos into the uterus. Hopefully, they will implant and begin a pregnancy. I woke up to a message during the night that said, “taking Grandaddy to the hospital for chest pains.” Then another said: “They’re sending him to Nashville.” I had tried to call as we got our day around and headed to the IVF office. I was an hour ahead, so no one answered.

 

Transfer Began

 

We got to the office and got ready to go into the transfer room. I’m lying there on the table as my husband holds my hand. They have an ultrasound probe pointed at me and a camera in the lab. “We are selecting the strongest two embryos hoping one will implant. As we discussed, this gives you a 33% chance at twins, but that is a manageable pregnancy.”

 

My World Began to Unravel

 

We watched as the lab technician drew two little embryos into a syringe. They brought it to us as we confirmed the identification. We watched as these two babies, our babies, were inserted into a catheter and landed in my uterus. “We need you to lay flat for an hour when you leave this room. You can go to the restroom and then lie down.” I went to the bathroom, returned, laid down, and grabbed my phone.

 

“Grandaddy has had a heart attack. We are on our way but aren’t to him yet.” My memory is pretty foggy after that. I know my uncle called me. “Grandaddy is going to pull through. Just like he always has. The doctors have always been wrong.” I knew. I knew the last time I saw him would be the last time.

 

A Choice to Make

 

Our doctor came in, and I asked if I could go to Nashville that night. I told him I needed to say goodbye to my Grandaddy. I needed to see him one last time. “You need to decide if you want to see your Grandaddy or if you want these babies and this pregnancy.” I knew what Grandaddy would tell me if he could. He would say to me to take care of the babies. “Grandaddy isn’t going to recover.” The moment the doctors had confirmed what God had already told me was going to happen. I couldn’t go for 48 hours.

 

If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away

 

That night, they called all of our family in. When my dad arrived, they made the call and took Grandaddy off of life support. My brother had called me and let me talk to him before they did. “Grandaddy, it’s your Punkin. I’m pregnant. Do you hear me? I’m pregnant. There are two babies inside me right now growing. Watch over them, please. Keep them safe and protect them. If it doesn’t go my way, and I don’t get to keep them, hold them while I wait. I love you always.”

 

Fifty hours after our embryo transfer, I was at the airport in Detroit, MI, to Nashville, TN, to come and see my family as we laid my Grandaddy to rest. I took a leap of faith and told everyone we were expecting. We played the song “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away ” at his funeral.

 

June 15, 2015

 

The day before his 75th birthday, we got the call that we were indeed pregnant. Our first round of IVF was successful. Six weeks into our pregnancy, we found out both embryos had implanted, and we were expecting TWINS!! Ten weeks into our pregnancy, we discovered a complication with baby B. My placenta was too close to my uterus. There was a chance we could miscarry them.

 

I was on a weight and activity restriction for two more weeks. We decided if baby B survived, we would name this baby after Grandaddy. Twenty weeks into our pregnancy, I felt our girls kick for the first time. “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” was playing on the radio when it happened. Thirty-five weeks into our pregnancy, we were told she had a hole in her heart that would need to be repaired at birth. Thirty-seven weeks five days into our pregnancy, I was told the babies were out of the room, and we had to induce. Thirty-eight weeks one day, I check-in, and we begin our induction with our sweet girls.

 

They Are Here

 

They did not tolerate this well, and because of their struggle, we ended an emergency c-section 27.5 hours later. Baby A was 4lb 12oz. Baby B was 4lb 3oz. One hour after their birth, baby B was taken from us and put into the NICU due to low blood sugar and issues with her temperature. Five days after their birth, they went home with me at just 4lb 6oz. And 3lb 15oz. A few days later, we were told baby B had some concerning blood work and needed to be tested for cystic fibrosis. At eight weeks, she was tested, and it was negative. You see, she has always been Grandaddy’s baby. In July of 2008, we were told not to expect to have him that year for Christmas.

Tomorrow, the Story is Continued.