Tag: 988

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Highlighting A Survivor Story

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

Highlighting A Survivor Story

suicide survivor

In this story, you will read about abuse by a stepfather to his stepdaughter. The phrase “My Story Will Empower Me” has stuck in my throat. As my heart was breaking for what this young girl had gone through, in the end, she knows Truth. What man used for evil, He will use for His glory. Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. I’m so proud of this young lady.

A TRUE story of several years of abuse and the suicidal ideations this young lady had at a very young age. She is NOT a victim. This girl is a survivor and a child of the King. Please be mindful that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things if I leave comments. All names have been changed to protect her.

Her Story

Donald,

Sometimes, I like to lay in bed and daydream about what my life would be like had you not abused me for many years. I want to think that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be utterly disgusted with myself. Maybe I could undress in front of a mirror without cringing every time I see myself. Perhaps I would feel more comfortable around older men.

I Wasn’t the Only One.

You took a genuine interest in my sister, but you preferred to take pictures of her. You saved the majority of touching for me. One of the primary examples of touching I remember is when we would walk next to each other. You would put your arm around me and grab my butt. Sometimes, you would switch it up and rest your hand on my butt.

When It Began

I remember the abuse started when I was about nine, but I’m sure it happened well before then. Never will I forget you making us change in front of you. I remember my sixth-grade year when you made me and my sister rotate, who would change directly in front of you, and how you wouldn’t let us wear anything to the bed besides our underwear. I also remember when you were in a particularly good mood, and you would make us sleep naked so you could come into our room and stare at our bodies.

Innocence Stolen

What traumatized me the most was when you made me and my sister go into the little garage with you. You made my sister lock the door and told us to get completely naked. I remember how shaky my hands were while taking off my clothes. I was so scared of what you were going to do next. You called it “checking us for ticks,” but I know that’s not why you were doing it because you didn’t make our brothers do it either. I also know that wasn’t the real reason because I remember you waited until our mom left to do it. We couldn’t have been in the garage for long, but it felt like a lifetime trapped in there with you.

I vividly remember what it felt like when your rough hands traced every single inch of my body. If I had the choice to forget one day in my life, that would be the day. That was the day that you took my innocence from me. I was ten years old. No ten-year-olds should ever have to feel how I felt on that day. Ten-year-olds should be playing dress-up, not getting abused by their stepfathers. I trusted you. I loved you, and I thought you loved me too. What you did was not love.

Wanting Out

At night, I would lay in bed and think of ways to kill you so the abuse would stop. If I wasn’t plotting to kill you, I was planning ways to kill myself. I didn’t care what it took. I wanted out of the situation. It’s crazy to think about how much I wanted to die at ten. How many ten-year-olds do you know that want to commit suicide?

Anger Flows Freely

I’m angry that you took my innocence from me. You took my childhood. I’m mad you didn’t feel guilty for what you did to me. Also, I’m angry that you didn’t spend the rest of your life in jail. Honestly, I’m mad that you are still alive and my mother still loves you. I’m angry you guys got married. She chose you over me. I’m mad you locked my brother in his room for a week because you thought he was faking it. I had to sneak him food and water. I am so angry about that. I’m mad you waited so long to take him to the hospital.

Even after he was diagnosed {with brain cancer}, you treated him like crap because you thought he was doing it for attention. I’m angry I didn’t get to be there with my brother as he was dying because of you. I don’t know how you live with yourself. How do you sleep at night? I hope you are miserable. I hope the guilt about my brother eats you up inside.

Wishes for My Future

If and when I have children, I will do everything I can to protect them from people like you. I promise that I won’t be like you or my mother. My children will never have to worry about men watching them change or shower. My children will never look in the mirror and hate themselves because of what happened. Hopefully, one day, I will be able to forgive you. I hope one day I will look in the mirror and be proud of who I am and what I have overcome. I wish I could say that this won’t happen to other little girls, but I know many people like you.

My Story Will Empower Me

I hope one day soon that I will be able to publicly tell my story so that other women can speak up about their stories. You will lose your grip on me one day, and I’ll love myself again. Soon, I will love my body. I will no longer be ashamed of you, and my story will empower me. One day soon, you’ll die, and I will sleep a tad bit better at night. You will get what is coming to you and deserve every bit of it.

You will have to answer for what you did to me one of these days. There is nothing you can ever say or do to make up for what you did to me. One of these days, I will be doing better than ever. Your abuse never has and will never define who I am or where I’m going. I hope you are happy with the choices you’ve made in life. I hope that it was all worth it in the end.

Yours Truly,

Nicole

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Dear You, The One Who Feels Like Giving Up

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

Dear You, The One Who Feels Like Giving Up

It is okay

Dear You,

I don’t know the exact weight you’re carrying right now, but I do know this….it’s heavy. And maybe you’re tired of pretending it’s not. Maybe you’ve been holding it together for everyone else, smiling when people ask how you’re doing, while inside you’re just… done. You wonder if anyone would even notice if you stopped showing up.

If that’s you, I want you to hear me clearly: You matter. Your life matters. And no pain lasts forever not even this.

You Are Not Alone

I know it can feel like you are alone. Darkness has a way of convincing us we’re isolated and unloved. But Scripture tells a different story: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. That means right now, in this very moment, God is near you. Not far away. Not indifferent. But close enough to hold your tears in His hands.

Your Worth Is Not Determined by Your Struggle

Depression, anxiety, trauma….these are battles, not identities. You are not “too much” or “not enough.” Remember, you are not a burden. You are a beloved child of God, and nothing can change that. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons… nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39. Not your pain, your past, or not even the thoughts that scare you most.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

You don’t have to be strong every day. You don’t have to figure everything out before you let someone in. Let a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a pastor know what’s going on inside. Sometimes speaking the truth out loud loosens its hold.

Hold On, Even If It’s Just for Today

I’m not asking you to promise that you’ll feel okay forever; I’m asking you to stay today. You heal by stringing together “one more day” after another until hope returns. Rest when you need to. Cry when you need to. Begin again when you’re ready.

If you’re struggling right now, please reach out: Call or text 988 in the U.S., or visit Find a Helpline to connect with support anywhere in the world.

You are loved. You are seen. And your story is not over.

With Hope,
B

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Helping Kids Grieve a Suicide Loss with Compassion

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

Helping Kids Grieve a Suicide Loss with Compassion

988 logo

When a child or teen loses someone to suicide, their world changes in ways they may not fully understand. This kind of grief is complex and it is layered with confusion, sadness, anger, and questions that even adults struggle to answer.

As caregivers, we can’t take away the pain, but we can walk beside them through it. How we respond can shape not only how they grieve now, but how they carry loss in the years ahead.

1. Tell the Truth but With Care

Children know when something’s wrong. Using vague phrases like “passed away” or “went to sleep” can create confusion or fear. Use simple, age-appropriate language:

“They died by suicide, which means they ended their life because they were hurting in a way they couldn’t find another way out of.”

You don’t need to share all the details. You just enough for them to understand without feeling overwhelmed.

2. Make Space for All Emotions

Grief is messy. Some kids may cry. Others may seem unfazed. Some may be angry or even blame themselves. Remind them that:

  • All feelings are okay
  • Nothing they said or did caused the death
  • You’re here to listen, even if they don’t have the words yet

3. Keep Routines (But Allow Flexibility)

Structure provides a sense of safety, but grief also demands room for rest and tears. Keep daily rhythms (mealtimes, bedtime) but allow for breaks when emotions are high.

4. Answer Questions More Than Once

Grief changes as kids grow. A question they ask at 7 may return at 12 with deeper meaning. Be patient when they revisit the same questions because this is part of how they process.

5. Use Creative Outlets

Some children express grief better through drawing, writing, music, or play. Invite them to create something in memory of the person, for example, a scrapbook page, a letter, or a special place to keep mementos.

6. Model Healthy Coping

It’s okay for kids to see you cry. Showing your own emotions teaches them that grief is normal and survivable. Pair those moments with ways you take care of yourself like prayer, talking with a friend, or taking a walk. 

7. Offer Spiritual Comfort Without Shame

For faith-based families, Scripture can offer deep comfort but avoid using verses to rush grief or silence emotions. Instead, gently remind them:

  • God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)
  • It’s okay to be sad and still trust God’s goodness
  • Their loved one’s struggles do not define their worth 

8. Get Professional Support if Needed

Children and teens may benefit from grief counseling, especially when suicide is involved. A therapist can help them untangle feelings of guilt, fear, or abandonment in a safe, supportive space. 

Gentle Truth

You don’t have to have perfect words. What kids need most is your presence, honesty, and love. Walking them through this loss with compassion plants seeds of resilience that will last a lifetime. 

If a Child You Know Is Struggling: Call or text 988 in the U.S., or visit Find a Helpline for support worldwide.

Scripture to Carry: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

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When Trauma Speaks Through Silence

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

When Trauma Speaks Through Silence

you are not alone

Some pain is loud like tears, yelling, desperate pleas for help.
Other pain is quiet like withdrawal, numbness, the smile that hides the storm.

For many people, that quiet pain is the echo of trauma. And sometimes, that trauma whispers a dangerous lie: You’d be better off gone.

How Trauma Shapes the Mind and Body

Unresolved trauma isn’t just a memory. It’s an ongoing experience stored in the nervous system. It can leave a person in a constant state of:

  • Hyperarousal — anxiety, irritability, feeling on edge
  • Hypoarousal — numbness, exhaustion, emotional disconnection

Both states can feed hopelessness. When someone feels stuck in a cycle they can’t escape, the thought of ending the pain can begin to feel like the only way out.

Why Trauma Increases Suicide Risk

Trauma can:

  • Distort self-worth — convincing you you’re broken or unworthy of love
  • Create emotional isolation — making it hard to trust others or believe they care
  • Fuel shame — especially if the trauma was never acknowledged or validated
  • Trigger intrusive memories — overwhelming flashbacks that make life feel unbearable

Without intervention, these effects can snowball into chronic despair.

The Silent Signals

People carrying trauma may not always show obvious warning signs. You might notice:

  • A sudden withdrawal from friends and activities
  • Flat or “robotic” emotional responses
  • Talking about being a burden
  • Uncharacteristic risk-taking behaviors
  • Giving away cherished belongings

These signs often speak the language of pain long before the person speaks it aloud.

Where Hope Lives: Healing the Nervous System

Recovery isn’t just about “thinking positive” but it’s about helping the body and mind feel safe again. This can include:

  • Therapy
  • Grounding practices — deep breathing, sensory engagement, mindfulness
  • Safe connections — trusted relationships that offer consistent presence and care
  • Faith practices — prayer, worship, and Scripture that remind you God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)

As the nervous system learns safety again, hopelessness loses its grip.

Gentle Truth

Trauma may speak through silence, but it does not have the final word. Healing is possible. Joy can return. And even if it feels far away right now, you are worth the time and care it takes to get there.

If You Are Struggling: Call or text 988 in the U.S. or visit Find a Helpline to connect with support worldwide. You are not alone.

Scripture to Carry: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

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From a Therapist’s Chair Let’s Talk About Suicide

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

you are not alone

From a Therapist’s Chair Let’s Talk About Suicide

Over the years as a therapist, I’ve sat across from people carrying pain so heavy they wondered if life was worth continuing. I’ve also sat with those same people months or years later, watching them laugh again, love again, and live in ways they couldn’t imagine when we first met.

Suicide is one of the hardest conversations to have, but avoiding it only deepens the silence and stigma that can keep people suffering alone. It’s time we talked about it openly, truthfully, and compassionately.

Myth #1: Talking About Suicide Puts the Idea in Someone’s Head

Truth: You can’t plant suicidal thoughts by asking about them. In fact, asking directly can open a door for honesty and relief. People often feel more supported (and less alone) when someone gives them permission to speak their truth without judgment.

Myth #2: People Who Talk About Suicide Are Just Seeking Attention

Truth: If someone is talking about ending their life, believe them. That “attention” they’re seeking is often connection, validation, and help. Taking it seriously can save a life.

Myth #3: Faith Should Be Enough to Protect Someone

Truth: Faith can be a powerful source of hope, but it doesn’t make anyone immune to depression, trauma, or suicidal thoughts. Mental illness affects people in the church as much as those outside it. Struggling with suicidal thoughts is not a sign of weak faith but it’s a sign someone is hurting and needs care.

Myth #4: Suicide Happens Without Warning

Truth: While some suicides are impulsive, most people show signs, though they’re often subtle. Changes in mood, withdrawal from loved ones, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed, or sudden calm after distress can all be signals something is wrong.

What I’ve Seen From the Therapist’s Chair

I’ve had clients come to me convinced they wouldn’t make it to next week. I’ve also watched those same clients:

  • Rebuild their relationships
  • Find purpose in helping others
  • Experience joy they thought was gone forever

Recovery is possible. The presence of suicidal thoughts does not mean the absence of hope. It means hope feels far away, and we may need to help someone find their way back to it.

What You Can Do

  • Ask directly if you’re concerned: “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
  • Listen without trying to immediately fix it
  • Help connect them to professional support
  • Follow up, even after the crisis seems to have passed

Gentle Truth

Suicide is complex, but one thing is certain: the more we talk about it with compassion and honesty, the more lives we can help save. You may never know how much your presence means to someone standing on the edge.

If You Are Struggling:

In the U.S., call or text 988 or use Find a Helpline to locate help anywhere in the world. You are not alone, and your story is not over.

Scripture to Carry: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

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Creating a Safety Plan Can Save a Life

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

Creating a Safety Plan Can Save a Life

crisis intervention plan

When a mental health crisis hits, it can feel like the ground drops out from under you. Thinking clearly becomes almost impossible, and the very steps that could help you feel safe can seem out of reach. 

That’s why creating a safety plan before a crisis happens is so important. It’s like a lifeline you prepare in calm moments so it’s ready to grab when the storm comes.

What Is a Safety Plan?

A safety plan is a personalized, step-by-step guide you create in advance to help you navigate moments of intense distress or suicidal thoughts. It’s not just for people in immediate crisis. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed, hopeless, or afraid they might harm themselves.

It can be written in a notebook, saved on your phone, or shared with a trusted friend. What matters most is that it’s accessible and specific to you.

Why It Matters

When emotions are high, logic takes a back seat. A safety plan takes the guesswork out of what to do next. It reminds you that you’ve already chosen life in your calmer moments and gives you the tools to hold onto it when it’s hardest.

A Simple Safety Plan Template

You can adapt this to fit your needs, but here’s a basic outline:

Warning Signs

  • Thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that signal I might be heading into crisis.
  • Example: Feeling hopeless, withdrawing from friends, trouble sleeping, increased anxiety.

Coping Strategies I Can Try on My Own

  • Activities or techniques to distract, comfort, or calm myself.
  • Example: Go for a walk, listen to worship music, journal, pray, watch a favorite show.

People and Places That Help Me Feel Safe

  • Friends, family, or locations where I can feel grounded.
  • Example: Call a friend, sit in my church, visit my sister’s house.

Who I Can Call for Help

  • Crisis lines, therapists, or trusted loved ones who can help me stay safe.
  • Example: Therapist: Circle of Hope Counseling Services (270.564.1966), National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988.

Making My Environment Safer

  • Steps to reduce access to means of self-harm.
  • Example: Give my medications to my spouse to hold, lock away firearms, avoid alcohol or drugs when feeling low.

One Reason to Keep Living

  • Something deeply personal to hold onto.
  • Example: My children, my faith, my future plans, knowing God isn’t finished with my story.

Faith and Safety Plans

Creating a safety plan doesn’t mean you lack faith. It means you are stewarding your life as the gift it is. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge.”

Preparing a plan is taking refuge before the danger comes. It’s not doubting God’s care. It’s partnering with Him in caring for yourself.

Gentle Encouragement

You are worth protecting. Your life is worth preparing for. And the plan you make today could be the lifeline that keeps you here tomorrow.

If You Are Struggling: Call or text 988 in the U.S. or use Find a Helpline for help in your country. You are not alone.

Scripture to Carry: “The Lord is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2

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What Suicide Really Looks Like

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

What Suicide Really Looks Like

what suicide really looks like

When most people picture suicide, they imagine someone looking sad, withdrawn, or talking openly about wanting to die. While those signs can be present, the truth is far more complex and often, far quieter. Suicide doesn’t always look like lying in bed all day or crying nonstop. It can look like a smile. Also, it can look like showing up to work. It can look like someone making small talk at church, hiding a private storm that’s been building for years.

The Connection Between Trauma and Suicide

Trauma changes the way the brain and body process stress, safety, and hope. Unresolved trauma can lead to:

  • Chronic emotional pain
  • Difficulty regulating emotions
  • Persistent feelings of worthlessness or shame
  • Belief that nothing will ever get better

This creates fertile ground for hopelessness which is a major risk factor for suicide.

The Role of Hopelessness

Hopelessness isn’t just sadness. It’s the crushing belief that things will never change, that the weight you’re carrying will never lighten. For many, it’s not about wanting to die. Honestly, it’s about wanting the pain to stop.

Impulsivity: The Dangerous Window

Some people live with long-term suicidal thoughts; for others, the urge can come suddenly and intensely. This is why access to lethal means during a moment of crisis can be so dangerous. The time between decision and action can be minutes or even seconds.

It’s Not Always About Death

Here’s the part that’s hardest to understand: For many, suicide isn’t about truly wanting life to end. It’s about wanting the unbearable emotional pain to end. They may feel trapped, powerless, or convinced they’re a burden to the people they love.

How We Respond Matters

If we want to prevent suicide, we have to:

  • Learn the less obvious signs (withdrawing from close friends, sudden calm after distress, giving away possessions, talking about feeling trapped)
  • Ask direct, compassionate questions: “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
  • Listen without judgment or quick fixes
  • Encourage and help connect to professional support

Gentle Truth

Suicide is complex, but the heart of it is pain: emotional, mental, spiritual. When we understand that, we can meet people in their suffering with empathy instead of assumptions.

If You Are Struggling:

You are not a burden. You are not beyond help. Your story isn’t over.
In the U.S., call or text 988 or use Find a Helpline to connect with help wherever you are.

Scripture to Carry: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

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The Day the World Stopped Turning: A Tribute to LA

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

The Day the World Stopped Turning: A Tribute to LA

the day the world stop turning

June 19, 2018. 

That was the day the world stopped turning.

I got the news that my dear friend LA was gone…taken by suicide. I remember where I was, what I was doing, and the way the air seemed to leave the room. Everything slowed down, and yet everything hurt all at once.

LA wasn’t just my friend. She was a light. LA could walk into a room and instantly make it warmer. She had a laugh that felt like home and a way of making people feel seen. LA was the kind of person who could talk to anyone, who made you feel like you mattered.

And yet, beneath her smile and her strength, she was hurting in ways most people never knew.

What We Don’t See

That’s the thing about mental illness. Mental illness doesn’t always look like what we expect.

LA loved deeply. She gave generously. She encouraged others endlessly. But she was carrying pain she didn’t feel safe enough to fully share.

Too often, we assume the strong ones are fine. We assume the ones who make us laugh the hardest are okay. But the truth is, sometimes they’re the ones hurting the most.

Why This Tribute Matters

Talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable, but silence only strengthens stigma. And stigma keeps people from speaking up when they need help most.

By telling LA’s story, I’m not trying to define her by how she died. Honestly, I want to remember her for how she lived. But I also want to remind us all that mental illness is not a moral failing, and suicidal thoughts are not a measure of faith, strength, or worth.

How We Honor LA

We honor her by:

  • Checking on our strong friends, even when they seem fine
  • Asking deeper questions and truly listening
  • Making it safe for people to say, “I’m not okay” without fear of judgment
  • Refusing to reduce someone’s life to their hardest moment

We honor her by breaking the silence, by speaking truth into the darkness, and by telling anyone who needs to hear it: Your life matters. You matter. There is help.

If You Are Struggling

I wish I could go back and tell LA one more time how loved she was. I wish I could have reminded her that this moment, this pain, would not last forever.

If you are reading this and you are hurting, please hear me…you are not a burden. Your story is not over.

Call or text 988 in the U.S., or for outside the US, call this number.

Final Words

LA’s life was a gift. Her absence is a reminder to keep showing up for each other. To speak life into weary hearts. To never assume that a smile means everything is okay.

The day the world stopped turning for me was the day she left it. But I will keep telling her story and not because of how it ended, but because of the love, laughter, and light she brought into it.

Scripture to Carry:
 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:18

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What to Say (and Not Say) to Someone Who’s Suicidal

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

What to say (and Not Say) to Someone Who’s Suicidal

what to say and not to say to someone who is suicidal

It’s one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have when you begin realizing someone you love might be thinking about ending their life. You may fear saying the wrong thing, making it worse, or crossing a line.

But here’s the truth: you can’t put the thought in their head by asking. In fact, your willingness to speak up could save their life.

1. Start by Asking Directly

Don’t dance around it. Use clear, compassionate language:

  • “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
  • “It sounds like you’re going through a lot. Have you had any thoughts about ending your life?
  • Avoid vague phrases like “You’re not thinking of doing anything crazy, are you?” This is because they can shut down honesty and add shame.

2. Listen Without Fixing

If they open up, your job isn’t to solve their problems in that moment. Remember, it’s simply to listen.

  • “That sounds really heavy. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
  • “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”
  • “I’m here with you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Avoid:

  • “You just need to pray more.”
  • “Other people have it worse.”
  • “But you have so much to be grateful for.”

These responses, even if well-intentioned, can feel dismissive and isolating.

3. Offer Support, Not Just Encouragement

Encouragement is good but action is better.

  • “Can I stay with you for a while?”
  • “Would you like me to go with you to talk to a counselor or pastor?”
  • “Let’s call a crisis line together so you don’t have to do it alone.”

If they’re in immediate danger, stay with them and call 911 or a local crisis line 988.

4. Follow Up

One conversation is not enough. Check in regularly, even if they seem “better.” A text, a call, or a simple “thinking of you” can remind them they matter.

Gentle Truth

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to enter the dark with someone and remind them there’s still light and that you’re willing to help them find it.

National Resources (U.S.)

  • 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
  • Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1

If you’re outside the U.S., you can find international hotlines here: Find a helpline

Scripture to Carry:

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

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Yes Christians Can Feel Suicidal

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

Yes Christians Can Feel Suicidal

Yes Christians can feel suicidal

Too many faith circles still whisper about suicide with shame or avoid talking about it altogether. The silence is deafening for those who are struggling. And because of that silence, many believers suffer in secret.

They wonder:

If I love God, why do I feel this way?
 If I’m truly saved, shouldn’t I have hope?
 Will people think I’m weak or worse, faithless?

Here’s the truth that needs to be said out loud: Yes, Christians can feel suicidal.

Faith and Depression Can Coexist

Your faith in Jesus does not make you immune to mental illness, trauma, or overwhelming despair. We live in a broken world, and our minds and bodies bear the weight of that brokenness.

In Scripture, we see God’s people cry out in deep anguish:

  • Elijah prayed that God would take his life (1 Kings 19:4).
  • David wrote psalms filled with sorrow, fear, and hopelessness.
  • Even Jesus wept in the Garden of Gethsemane, His soul “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Matthew 26:38).

Feeling suicidal does not mean you’ve lost your faith. It means you’re human and you’re hurting.

Why the Church Must Speak Up

When churches treat mental health struggles as spiritual failures, we add another layer of pain. Stigma keeps people silent. Silence keeps people isolated. And isolation can be deadly.

We need to replace shame with safety. Judgment with listening. Quick fixes with compassion.

A Compassionate Theology of Struggle

  • God’s love is not dependent on your emotional state.
  • Salvation is not erased by your mental health battles.
  • Suffering does not mean you’re outside of God’s care. It means you need His people to surround you with grace and presence.

Romans 8:38-39 reminds us that nothing….not death, life, angels, demons, fears for today, or worries about tomorrow….can separate us from the love of God.

If You’re Struggling Right Now

  • Tell someone safe. A friend, pastor, therapist, or crisis counselor.
  • Stay connected. Isolation fuels hopelessness. Find one person to check in with daily.
  • Remember: This moment is not forever. Your story is still being written.

If you are in crisis, please reach out to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not a burden. You are loved.

In too many faith circles, suicide is still whispered about with shame or not talked about at all. The silence is deafening for those who are struggling. And because of that silence, many believers suffer in secret.

They wonder:
If I love God, why do I feel this way?
 If I’m truly saved, shouldn’t I have hope?
 Will people think I’m weak—or worse, faithless?

Here’s the truth that needs to be said out loud: Yes, Christians can feel suicidal.

Gentle Truth

Having faith doesn’t mean you’ll never feel despair. It means that even in your darkest valley, God’s presence goes with you. And sometimes, His comfort comes through the hands, words, and prayers of His people if we’re brave enough to show up for each other.

Scripture to Hold:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:18

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Suicide Awareness – Because Every Life Still Has Worth

Brandi Crum, MA, LMFT

suicide awareness

Suicide Awareness – Because Every Life Still Has Worth

There are moments so heavy that breathing feels like work.
Pain that sits on your chest like a boulder.
Thoughts that whisper, “It would be easier if I weren’t here.”

Whether you’ve felt this pain yourself, walked beside someone who has, or lost someone to suicide—you know how devastating it is.

We don’t talk about it enough.
Not in our churches.
Not in our families.
Not in the open.

But we need to. Because silence kills.

Suicide Isn’t About Attention—It’s About Pain

People don’t want to die—they want the pain to stop.
And when they don’t feel seen, safe, or supported, the lies get louder:

“You’re too much.”
“You’ll never get better.”
“No one would miss you anyway.”

But those are lies.
And sometimes, we just need someone to stand in the gap and say:

You matter.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
And this is not the end.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Faith and Mental Health Can Coexist

You can love Jesus and still struggle with depression.
You can believe in healing and still take medication.
You can go to therapy and still pray without ceasing.

Your worth is not based on your strength—it’s rooted in who God says you are.
And even if you feel like a burden, you are a blessing.
Even if you feel broken, you are still here—and that’s holy.

A Gentle Challenge

📝 Try this: Check on your “strong” friend. Reach out to someone you haven’t heard from. And if you’re the one struggling—please tell someone.

You are not weak for asking for help.
You are brave.
You are worth fighting for.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
— John 10:10 (NIV)

💛 If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. You are not alone.

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A Pause for LA – Honoring a Life, Raising Awareness

Brandi C

A Pause for LA – Honoring a Life, Raising Awareness

Before we continue with our journey, I need to pause. This is A Pause for LA – Honoring a Life, Raising Awareness.

Because life isn’t just about what happens to us—it’s about what happens around us. It’s about who we walk alongside. And sometimes… who we lose.

On June 19, 2018, my friend LA died by suicide.
Her absence left a silence that still echoes.

And while my blog series has been about the road through chronic illness, faith, and motherhood—I would be doing her, and so many others, a disservice if I didn’t stop to say this out loud:

Suicide is real. It’s devastating. And it’s not the whole story.

chatgpt image apr 20, 2025, 05 34 39 pm

🕯️ For LA

LA was light. She was fierce, funny, and loved deeply. Also, she was human, she struggled, and she mattered.

So, so much.

If you didn’t know her, you missed out on someone truly extraordinary. And if you did know her, then you know the hole her absence left behind.

I will not let her be remembered only for the way she died. LA deserves to be remembered for the way she lived.

💔 The Truth About Suicide

  • Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10–34.

  • Most people who die by suicide don’t want to die—they want the pain to stop.

  • Mental illness is not a character flaw or a moral failure.

  • Asking for help is not weakness. It’s strength.

  • Talking about suicide doesn’t cause it. Silence does.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18

🧡 If You’re Struggling

You are not a burden. An you are not beyond help. You are not too broken.

Remember, you are loved.
And you are needed.
You are not alone.

Please, please reach out:

📞 Call or Text 988 – Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
💬 Chat online at 988lifeline.org
📱 Reach out to a friend, a counselor, a pastor—someone you trust.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

💛 If You’ve Lost Someone

To those who’ve lost someone to suicide:
There are no perfect words. No quick comforts.
But there is space here for your grief. And there is no shame in your sorrow.

Your person mattered.
Your grief matters.

And you are not alone either.

🕊️ Heartbeat Moment

We’ll continue H’s story soon. But for today, I just want to say:
If you’re hurting—talk.
And if someone crosses your mind—reach out.
If you see someone struggling—show up.

I believe in a God who is bigger than all of this.
But I also believe in a church, a community, a world that must rise up to meet the hurting—before it’s too late.

This post is for LA.
For the ones we’ve lost.
And for the ones still here.
For the hope that whispers: you are not alone.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
— John 1:5

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

 

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Wrestling with the Darkness

Brandi C

nothing is impossible when you put one foot in front of the other and take a step. (5)

Wrestling with the Darkness: You Are Not Alone

Wrestling with the darkness can be exhausting, especially when you feel alone. The weight of it presses down, making it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to believe that there is a way forward. You can be in a room full of people—people who love you, people who would do anything to help—but still feel an unexplainable loneliness that wraps around you like a thick fog. That isolation, even in the presence of others, can be suffocating.

And more times than not, that’s when the intrusive thoughts creep in. They don’t always arrive like a sudden storm; sometimes, they come as whispers, subtle at first, then louder, until they take up all the space in your mind. Sometimes, those thoughts are fleeting, passing like clouds. But other times, they settle in, and before you know it, you’ve started to build a tent for them in your head—giving them space to grow, to take root, to become something more dangerous.

If you’ve ever been there, I want you to hear this: You are not alone. I know it might feel like no one understands, like no one truly sees what you’re going through. But I promise you, there are people who care. There are people who will sit in the darkness with you, who will hold your hand, who will remind you that your story is far from over.

When the thoughts become too heavy to carry alone, please, reach out. It doesn’t make you weak. Honestly, it doesn’t mean you are a burden. It means you are human, and humans are not meant to suffer in silence. If you feel like you don’t have anyone in your immediate circle who you can trust, there is still help available. You can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where trained professionals will listen—truly listen—and help you find the light again.

The darkness lies to you. It tells you that you don’t matter, that you are not enough, that the pain will never end. But that is not the truth. The truth is that you are enough. You are worthy. Your presence in this world is meaningful. And even if right now you can’t see a way forward, I promise you—there is one. There is always one.

I know the fight is hard. I know the weight is unbearable at times. But please, don’t give up. Keep holding on. Your story is not done being written. There are still pages to turn, chapters to unfold, moments of joy that you haven’t even imagined yet. And someday, you will look back and be so glad that you stayed.

You are not alone, you are loved, and YOU matter. Please reach out. ❤️

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Don’t Quit Just Do It

Brandi C

Don’t Quit Just Do It

premium photo 1694743671394 60034a1b2f65

There are days when I am done. Done. DONE. I’ve had all I can stand and I simply can’t take anymore. I’m good until I’m not. Over the years of struggling with depression, I can typically feel myself sliding down the mountain into the pit. I know my traumaversary dates and in those times, I give myself grace. However, last year slapped me upside the head, held me upside down, shook all my innards out, and left me alone.

It’s amazing how you can be surrounded by people who love you and still feel so unimaginably alone. I think it surprised me that it wasn’t a gentle descension down that mountain. It was more like, you are walking up the mountain, on a treadmill cause I have never reached the top, and all of the sudden I am underneath a heap of rubble with only a penlight and no oxygen. I was trapped, in my own mind, which is not a good thing sometimes.

I wanted to quit but instead of running my mouth, ruining things further, I isolated (not good) but in that isolation, I turned to the Word, praise music, hot showers, laying with my head under the covers, got a therapist (hey, we all need one), and I have consciously remembered to inhale/exhale every single day. Am I better? Yes but not 100% by any stretch.

Will I get better?

Yes because I’m working hard at being vulnerable and transparent. Does this mean I don’t love Jesus and my salvation isn’t real? I’ve been told that. If I loved Jesus more, went to church more, prayed more, read the Word more, I wouldn’t be depressed. Newsflash. I love Jesus. I have a mansion waiting for me in heaven.

We also live in a fallen world where the prince of darkness tries to steal, kill, and destroy people and families. God is bigger. He is bigger now and forever. I have read the last page of the Good Book and guess what? God wins and since I am His and He is mine, I win. You are loved. No matter what anyone says (even if that anyone means you saying it to yourself), you are worthy. You are enough. Please, if you ever feel like you can’t make it another day, reach out to a pastor, counselor, friend, call 911 or better yet, call 988 that is the new suicide prevention hotline and someone answers the phone 24/7. You are worth living!

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Save Me I am Drowning

Brandi C

 

Save Me I am Drowning

When We Met

Please save me. I am drowning. LA’s death has been a HARD thing for me to blog about….but I keep thinking if I get out my thoughts, through my fingertips….maybe I can get the images out of my mind.

LA…..we met when our boys were playing baseball when they were about 8. She had two kiddos. Our boys are the same age, and then she has a daughter the same age as my 5th son. I remember walking into the baseball park, finding N’s team, and then seeing this woman sitting on the top of the bleachers.

She had a little bob haircut, and her hair was bleached blonde. Honestly, she looked like a baby. She was way too young to have an 8- and 3 yr old at the time. She had on a white t-shirt and ripped jeans. Sitting beneath her was this skinny man with this awesome mustache and his brown-haired wife. They were all smoking, loud, fussing at each other, laughing, cheering, and eating. My 5th child took a liking to the brown-haired lady, and every time I turned around, she gave him food. I would give D a stern look, and she would pipe up, “don’t you fuss at that baby. He didn’t ask. He just looked hungry.”

LA and Her Curiosity

The bleach-blonde girl would cackle, and I’d roll my eyes thinking, she is my spirit animal. Rough around the edges, spirited, funny, family-oriented, and LOUD. We hit it off and began an intense friendship of discovery.

LA, through the lens she saw my life, was curious. She was asked a lot of questions about my life, my marriage, my parenting, and my faith. Her kids and my kids hit it off. We all hit it off with her parents and her brother. It was fun. It was crass at times cause that is how they roll, in a vat of sarcasm and love.

We were friends for about 10 yrs; through incredible ups of leading her to Christ in the park and her dyeing my hair to the deepest of lows with alcohol, drug addiction, and mental illness. I have loved her through every moment we knew each other. There was a point where those moments consumed me like a fire. There were times when I would stay up late. I talked with her and tried my best to pull her into the light of healing. I was doing the job that Christ needed to do.

When She Fell and Letting Go

What I see now, on the back end of things, is that she didn’t eat the bottom of the barrel when she fell. She hit my face. I loved her and her children and family, so I placed myself at the bottom of that barrel, so she never had the opportunity to see Jesus directly. She saw Him because she loved Him and was His child, but she did see Him in that face of darkness and despair. I wanted control because I thought I could fix it all and make her better.

My husband had encouraged me to back away. Not to disappear, not to stop loving, not to stop praying, but I had to allow her to meet her Jesus and find her healing and wholeness in Him and not me. That was hard. I met some very dark days, as well. Sometimes she would need me, and I would rearrange everything to go to her and love her and leave my kids and their issues behind.

It is sad to say that reprioritizing my life, submitting to my husband, and what I know to be Scripturally correct was letting LA deal with things alone….without me swooping in to rescue her. My heart was good because I love her so much, and I love those babies so very much, but our friendship was in the way of her relationship with Jesus. I was a stumbling block.

Swirl of Love

As the years waned in and out, we would have good laughs at memories and catch up with the kids, and she started becoming healthier in her mind and other areas. What proved to me that listening to Jesus was right was when she called me up out of the blue and said: “I need you.” Mind you; this was probably 8 or 9 years into our friendship. She wanted to come to the house. She needed me, and I could hear in her voice the clarity. I did not hear that foggy voice of addiction. I told her to come, and we would talk.

She walked up to my porch, and the swirl of love and respect for each other encompassed us. It was like not a minute had passed since we had seen each other. She was clear-eyed, had a clear voice, and was very strong. There was such a strength in her. She sat down and explained what was going on to Bart and me, and we all just sat there and stared at each other, thinking, “oh crap….what is going to happen, and how can we help.” She needed to talk about an issue. There had been an issue with her precious son. In a moment of fogginess, the love she had for that baby, regardless of the situation, was written all over her face.

Forgiveness

She had forgiven, instantly, the things that had happened and was prepared to do whatever she could to help her son get the help he needed, and she did. She fought an excellent fight, and she and her mom won. He received what he needed, and though the situation was terrible, in a stranger’s view, it was just a moment to her. A mistake happened. We all make them; he is no different, and she loves and believes in him and his sister. I was so proud of her and her resolve. I think the only other thing I was prouder of was when she received Christ, but this one was a close second!

Save Me I am Drowning

Now, to see my friend, so desperate, again, and I was unaware this time. The phone call from her mom stopped my world from spinning. Honestly didn’t believe her until I heard her substantial voice crack. I could hear her crying over the phone. Just typing and thinking about that sends this electric emotion through me. I can’t stop thinking of all the “what ifs.” My last image of my friend was looking at her beautiful face. She was so calm and sincere. I brushed her freshly washed hair and braided it. All while she lay on that table after she took her life.

I Will Never Forget

I will never get those images out of my head. Ever. I will never forget hugging her mom, son, daughter, and brother. I will never forget it. Never. I washed her face, brushed her hair, and painted her fingernails the perfect color of pink. I will never forget it.

One Moment

One moment of despair.

A moment of feeling alone.

Finally, a moment of being alone, physically.

Ten seconds away from her mom and children.

Her life was over.

She met Jesus face to face.

Please please please remember

You are NEVER alone.

God is ALWAYS with you.

You are LOVED beyond measure.

Help is a PHONE CALL 24 HOURS A DAY away.

There is always a joy to be found somewhere; even if it is so minimal, there is still joy.

Please seek help from a counselor, the hotline, a pastor, a friend, or a family member.

Please do not choose a path that leaves the family with many unanswered questions and pain.

You ARE WORTHY.

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