Faith Journey, Medical, Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome

A Father’s Faith

A Father’s Faith

A Father’s Faith: Holding the Fort While My Son Fought to Walk Again

In A Father’s Faith, this is something my husband has written documenting those early days of H’s illness.

We struggled for many weeks after H got sick. Between hospital stays, doctor visits, and treatments, we didn’t know if we were coming or going. At home, we had six other kids, so my wife bore the brunt of the medical responsibilities. She was virtually alone with Hunter in the hospital for many weeks. I had to stay home with the other six and hold down the fort.

It was a heavy burden for my wife, but we did what we had to do to provide the best care for H.

When he was home, he couldn’t dress himself, feed himself, and eventually, he couldn’t walk at all. He was in a wheelchair for several months. H had to endure all kinds of medications, hospital stays, and treatments. Our family struggled for a very long time after he got sick.

Eventually, we took him to a place in St. Augustine, FL—and a miracle happened. Doctors administered an intensive three-day therapy, and shortly afterward, he walked for the first time in several months. We rejoiced at the miracle God performed!

He gradually began walking again and regained his speech. However, he still had tremors in his arms and hands, but he was 1000% better than before. He still experiences those tremors and struggles with fine motor skills, but he has learned to adapt.

Today, H lives a fairly normal life. That doesn’t mean he has fully healed or stopped struggling. But all in all, I don’t think we would change a thing. Sure, our family dynamic changed dramatically when he got sick.

But the way I see it, if H hadn’t come to live with us, I’m not sure where he’d be today. So I believe everything happened exactly as it was supposed to. We thank God that He has healed H to the state of health he’s in now. H is truly a walking miracle of God.

Even though things have turned out mostly positive, the journey has been rough.

In the beginning, I felt helpless. Helpless that I couldn’t fix what was wrong. When H was in the hospital and my wife was alone with him, I knew I should have been there too—but I couldn’t be, because we had six other children to take care of. I felt like I had abandoned them, even though I didn’t really have a choice. Realistically, it was what had to happen—but that didn’t change the feelings or the emotions.

I felt like I wasn’t holding up my end of the parenting and decision-making with H, because I couldn’t be there. And then I started to question my faith.

Why was this happening and why us?
Honestly, why were we being separated like this?
And why was this happening to an innocent little boy?

I had to dig deep and remind myself that all things work together for good and for the glory of God. But the feelings of inadequacy were still there.

So I went to the hospital when I could. I took H to some of his treatments after he was released from the hospital. I went to as many doctor appointments as I could.

Today, his condition has stabilized, and we spend far less time in hospitals or with doctors. But we always remember when we were separated—and how it made us feel.

God saw us through the bad so we could come out on the other side and see His glory.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

 

Memories with My Mom. My earliest memories of my mom are when she would rock me and sing silly old songs that would make me giggle. We would play hide and seek, sit outside on the glider, and swing for a long time. 

We had snuggled in the bed, played with Barbie dolls, or watched me dress up about a million times just because she wanted to. We rode our bikes down the dead-end street and the car rides we would take to Granny’s or Jojo’s house. 

I love my mom. 

She is the best kind of mom a kid could have. My mom and dad were strict, but they made rules up for me to keep us in a structured house, and we always managed to have fun. She always took me to church on Sundays and AWANA on Wednesdays; she homeschooled us for the longest time, which I know at times must have been challenging for her with three kids. 

We would always do fun things together as a family and were all close. My mom always opened her home and heart to foster children and kids that we eventually adopted into our family, which caused us to grow in numbers.

My Thoughts

I must have made my mom’s life challenging because I was a considerably difficult child. There were a lot of things wrong in my life. Our relationship has hit lots of bumps in the road. I am very stubborn and unwilling to try new things because I am always afraid I will mess it up and embarrass myself. 

She gave me so many things that I asked for (begged for) without hesitation because she knew I wanted them. I never truly appreciated all of her wisdom and knowledge because I always think my way is best, and I know what I am doing is right. 

So many mistakes. 

I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt my mother on more than one occasion, yet she still loves me and still forgives me. No matter what. I love my mom. I love her kind and gentle soul. Her willingness to help others at moments of notice. The way she cooks with love and affection (she is the most fantastic cook). She is still in love with my dad after years of marriage. She still loves me even after all that I have put her through. 

So many tears. 

I can still see the look on her face when I told her I screwed up again. She gave me so many chances that I honestly did not deserve. She has been there for me through joyous occasions, heartbreak, funny moments, and moments of pride when I accomplish something the right way.

Communication

She has helped me learn how to communicate. To use my words even though that is sometimes very hard for me. Sometimes, I do not know how to articulate times properly. She has been there for me through my depression and anxiety. Honestly, I do not know how to handle it properly yet. She has been there for me throughout my whole school education. Also, she has supported me during the most challenging moments of college. She is the best person. Even if she says she isn’t, she is.

Strength

I do not care what she says. She is an excellent mother who does her best under certain circumstances that are out of her control. We are the very definition of a blended family. We have all kinds of mental health problems, physical problems, trauma, etc. And she is so graceful in dealing with everything she has dealt with in the past.

Hindsight is 20/20

I wish I were not the cause of some of her heartache. Also, I hope I had just listened to her instead of trying to do things my way. I wish that I had not asked for all of those things just because I wanted them. Honestly, I have prayed so hard that our relationship would be strengthened. At that moment, I vowed that I would always be honest and communicate with her whenever she asked, even if it was hard for me.

Answered Prayers

I have admitted some things to her that I can not even accept about myself. We have been open with each other, and we have gotten so much closer than we used to be, which I am so thankful for. God answered my prayers. I am gaining wisdom from her, and my communication has improved with time and patience. 

She is my rock and the one person I can trust never to judge me. I know she loves me with all of her heart, and I know that she prays for me every night. I can only hope that one day I will be like her. She is an amazing person. 

Mom, I love you more than words can even describe. 

I am so blessed and thankful that God chose you and Dad to be my parents. I am so sorry for all the times I made you cry over me. I am grateful for all the times you have been there for me, the times you have forgiven me, and the times that you have extended grace towards me. You inspire me with your strength every day. 

Mom, you are always the one to go without hesitation to help us kids. Lately, to sit with us in the hospital for days on end. You have such a giving soul. I have seen it through the relationships and friendships that you have had in the past. I can only hope that one day I will be like you.

Thank You

Thank you for everything you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every day. You are a gift and a treasure, and I will love you for the rest of my days on Earth. Know your worth (like you tell me every day). Know how much of a blessing you are to your family and friends because of your giving heart.

I love you, momma.

Always and forever.

Love, Peach.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Choices that I Made

Choices that I Made

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7  The Lord chose me and His choices are for me to live!

Life-Changing Events

Being a young parent is hard. Tremendously hard. It changes you when you have complicated pregnancies and one delivery that almost loses your child. The lack of communication, dealing with undiagnosed (and untreated) mental illness (depression and anxiety), and money were some of the problems. Well, that can wreak havoc on a marriage. Other things that happened were utterly life-changing. My children and I almost died. That was the moment when I lost myself.

Choices that I Made

Because of the events that changed three beautiful kids and me forever, I left a good husband. He did nothing but try to be the best husband. Honestly, I think he believed that if he just loved me enough, all my past anxiety and depression would go away. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

Just Keeping Swimming

A failed marriage, a dead-end relationship, and then an abusive marriage is what happened in the blink of an eye. That relationship and abusive marriage are things I should never have been in in the first place. The abusive marriage caused me to be in a very dark place.

I tried to keep on, but I was treading water, barely keeping my eyes above the waves. Sadly, I went through the motions of life, but I wasn’t there anymore. A terrible accident occurred, and I have not recovered from that. Medical issues and so much more that I cannot even list. It was just hit after hit. Day after day. Minute after minute.

What I Didn’t See

Nothing I did that was good enough for him. He cheated all the time. Lied. He abused me mentally, emotionally, and so much more. He tried to separate me from the people I loved most. So I tried to take my own life. I didn’t feel worthy. I thought that everyone would be better off without me. My kids and family were isolated from me because of my abusive husband. I didn’t want to live anymore.

But God

By the grace of God, I lived. My family never left me. They gave me the strength to leave him and move forward. I learned how to live independently, seeking no one’s approval. This time, as an adult, I sought help and continued to stay in therapy. Sadly, I have had a couple of relapses. However, my family rallied around me this time, and I was not alone.

Today

I am happy to say that I am alive, happily married again, and I have a great support system. I feel I am a much stronger person now. The man I am married to is good for me and loves me. Now, I have a bonus daughter to add to my crew. I am loved.

My Advice to You

There have been choices that I have made that were very bad. Honestly, I regret it to this day. If I could take it all back and have a do-over, I would in a heartbeat. Sadly, I can’t. So all I can do is learn from them. I have done that and moved on. I’ve also known that it’s okay to have bad days. There are days when you want to curl up in a bed and cry all day. Maybe eat a gallon of ice cream.

Just don’t stay there.

You are not that person anymore.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline