Tag: Overcoming Trauma

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Brandi C

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Some wounds leave visible marks—reminders of pain, survival, and healing. But not all scars are on the surface. Some are hidden deep within, carried silently in the heart and mind. These invisible scars—of grief, trauma, betrayal, and loss—are just as real as any physical wound.

The hardest part about unseen scars is that the world doesn’t always recognize them. People may not understand the weight you carry, the battles you’ve fought, or the strength it takes just to get through the day. You may feel pressure to “move on” or “get over it,” but healing doesn’t work that way. Wounds take time. Scars remain as proof that something happened—something that changed you.

If you carry invisible scars, know this: you are not broken. You are not weak for feeling the weight of your past. Your pain is valid, your healing is personal, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Seek help. Talk to someone who will listen—whether it’s a trusted friend, a therapist, or God Himself. You deserve support, and you deserve peace.

Healing is not about forgetting. It’s about learning to live beyond the pain, to embrace the beauty of resilience, and to know that scars—seen or unseen—do not define you. They are reminders that you survived. That you are still here. That you are stronger than what tried to break you.

So be kind to yourself. Extend grace to the wounds still healing. And remember: just because others can’t see your scars doesn’t mean they don’t matter. You matter. You always have, and you always will.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Just a Funny for the Day

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

What is a Traumaversary?

Brandi C

flower 1030408 1280

What is a Traumaversary?

A traumaversary is the anniversary of some sort of trauma in your life. It can be from a deployment, abuse, car accident, traumatic pregnancy/birth, house fires, neglect… the list can go on and on. You aren’t obsessing over all the bad things that happened in your life. It is simply something that you haven’t resolved and your body keeps the score.

Symptoms of a traumaversary can vary from sadness, anger (another topic for another day), anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia or hypersomnia, flashbacks, nightmares, guilt, and even can manifest itself in a physical illness. The book, The Body Keeps the Score is not a fun read but it is interesting and it does drive home these concepts. 

I explain it to people who have never heard this word before in a way that it is easy to understand. When they call me for an appointment, they are usually in some sort of acute stress. When we get to talking, I ask if they remember feeling this way at the same time, every year. 9/10 times, they do feel the same way and they can’t figure it out.
When we get to digging, there is usually something that occurred, way back when, that their body is remembering/reacting to even though they hadn’t cognitively thought about that issue since it occurred. They pushed it WAY down and stuffed it away. However, their body remembers.
There are ways to cope. First, acknowledge the event and that it no longer has power over you. Talking it out…not talking it to death over and over again but just one time from start to finish. When you get the thoughts out of your head through tears, snot, words, or writing…it releases it from captivity in your brain. Again, you are not giving it power over you. A lot of times, just talking it out and saying it out loud to another set of ears releases you from that bondage.
Every person wants to be seen, heard, and, validated in their experiences. When they are, it releases you from the prison that the trauma has placed you in. I want you to remember that you are normal. There is nothing wrong with you. Have grace and compassion with yourself, practice self-care, do something for others, or just take a nap or long shower.
You are not alone. Knowledge is power. You are no longer a slave to your past. Plant your feet firmly in the present and look towards your future. That is where hope lives.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Believe in Yourself

 

Faith Journey

Speak Up and Fill the Silence

Brandi C

Speak Up and Fill the Silence

Speak Up and Fill the Silence

 

Speak Up and Fill the Silence is a phrase that I just heard on a television show and it has resonated with me. As I sit here, knowing how silent I have been on my blog, in my workplace, at church, and everywhere else, this phrase hit hard.

Silence, to some, is a sign of weakness. Silence to Jesus is different. In Psalm 62:5 it reads “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” My husband told me, not to long ago, that we have “changed roles” within our marriage. Typically, I am the brazen one and he is the one that stands in the background.

I educated him that day. I simply stated “just because this volcano is dormant and not exploding, all the time, doesn’t mean I’m not rumbling underneath the earth ready to erupt at any moment.” It’s pretty simple, I have just been asleep for the last few years.

However, I’m beginning to wake up. When I look around, instead of seeing black and white, I see glimpses of color. I’m coming back to myself and I am starting to rumble. There are moments when my old self comes forward and other moments when I slip back into slumber.

I was talking to my sister the other day…we would try and talk on Mondays but since I started work, we don’t do that as often. I feel as if we have lost a bit of our connection. There has been so much going on in my world (and hers) that we are keeping our eyes above the waves. We touch base when we have a moment.

When we were chatting and talking about the hard things of life, I quietly told her something I have been thinking on for quite some time. Quietly, I said “I’m thinking about getting a cat and naming it Lucretia.” She bust out laughing and said “my sister is coming back.” We are filling the silence with laughter instead of pain and awkward silence.

So much silence. Silence with the trauma that my family went through for the last 7 years, 4 years, 2 years, and last year. I’ve lost friendships because I’ve been silent and my silence was mistaken for anger. In reality, I’m trying to just continue to inhale in and out. I’ve lost myself, I almost lost my marriage, my sanity, and more.

The other day, at work, I told my boss something that I’ve been hinting around about for a while now. I told her that I was going to get my hair done. She is all about self-care. I then stated that I was going to get some purple in my hair, but it would be underneath and the top layer would cover it. She just looked at me (I can see the rule book going through her head and it states no unnatural hair color). Before she had a chance to speak, I said “listen, I’m losing myself and if you don’t let me be me, I won’t make it.” She smiled and said it sounded great and I should also think about a nose ring (that’d be a no).

I immediately texted my hair-apist and let her know. Then, I’m scheduling my tattoo. I also bought some clothes and sparkly shoes. I’m remembering who I am and what I like. That is usually vastly different than what other people like, but I’m okay with that.

Today, I spoke up, at work. Something was said and I was taking it personally. I was able to look someone in the face and defend my morals and ethics of my job. I did so with respect and clarity. In the past, I would just let this person walk all over me until I realized that I’m not a doormat. I’m an equal and we want the same things in life (work related). We are on the same team. We can either spend our time fighting each other or fighting together.

I don’t know how long it will take me to completely wake up and fill the silence with my words, but I do know that it is slowly happening. I need to take one day at a time or even better, one moment at a time. There are things I’m still figuring out and some areas that are still gray for me because I’m not sure where to step.

My silence has been leading my severe depression for the last 5 years or so. I’m still not out of the woods yet but I’m beginning to hear sounds, see flashes of color, and in the distance what my future holds. I’m about ready to stand up and stand tall and speak.

As I tell my children, grandchildren, and clients “You are strong, brave, kind, and good. Your past does not define you and it does not control your present or your future. Straighten you crown, stand up tall, be heard, and let that storm know that you are no longer afraid because you ARE the storm.”

People. I am the storm. It’s time for me to be heard and to just fill the damn silence.

Related Posts

Self-Care for Your Mental Health

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

What Fireworks Means to a School Shooting Survivor

Brandi C

What Fireworks Means to a School Shooting Survivor

What Fireworks Means to a School Shooting Survivor

I despise fireworks. Some of them are so pretty, but the sound triggers me. I can feel it in my chest whenever a firework goes off. The breath gets knocked out of me, and I freeze. At that moment, I am transported back to school. I am back in the classroom with my teachers and fellow student.

At that second, I could see the fear in my teacher’s eyes as he looked down the hallway at the commotion. “Run,” He says with complete fear in his eyes. The look in his eyes will forever be etched into my brain. Confused, I run down the hallway watching as a freshman falls and slides into a locker. I can’t bring myself to stop and check on her, and I’m pretty sure that makes me a bad person. I’m doing what my teacher said. I am running, from what I don’t know.

 

As I Get Outside

 

As I get outside, I stop running. I assume that it was a fire and that I am safe outside. The fire can’t get me here. “Someone brought a gun to school.” A stranger says behind me. At that point, I couldn’t think. I take off sprinting. I almost got hit by a car. It was centimeters away from hitting me. I can hear the teacher yelling at the students to get into a classroom in the tech building because it’s safe and I sprint into the building.

 

I almost enter the first room as soon as you walk in the door, but I decide that that classroom would be the first to get shot if the shooter comes up here. Then, I run a few classrooms away, sit against the wall, and wait for any information. Students and teachers start piling in. I look around and realize I can’t trust anyone. At this point, no one knows who the shooter is. Finally, the teachers shut and locked the door.

 

Calling my Brother

 

The first person I can get a hold of is my brother. He tells me that there’s been a school shooting and someone has died. My heart sinks, and all I can think about are my friends. Fear courses through my veins as I struggle to get a hold of them. Luckily, they’re all okay. I go on Twitter and desperately try to find some information. Someone sitting close to me tells me who the shooter is. I am completely shocked and In denial. I’ve known this kid since seventh grade. There’s no way he did this. I was wrong. He did do it.

 

We are sitting and waiting to be told what to do next when a student starts banging on the door. He was banging on the door hard and asking to be let it. Fear overcomes my body. I remember begging God that they wouldn’t open that door. Luckily, they didn’t. We sat there until like 9:30, and then we were told we must get on a bus.

 

SWAT

 

They let us out of the room, but we all must go in a single file line. Teachers and Swat line the walls and make a pathway to the buses. The look in the eyes of the swat member will be in my head forever. We get on the bus, and we sit there forever. I remember looking out the bus window and seeing a news helicopter flying over us and I remember being angry that they were already swarming. I mean, people just died to show some respect. It was insensitive.

 

Transporting Us

 

At around Eleven, they gave us a police escort to the nearest middle school. We took the back roads there. They piled us all into the gym and waited for our names to be called so we could leave with our parents. I remember getting home at noon, and my family had the news on the television. Sadly, I hear them reporting things that didn’t happen, so I go to my room. I couldn’t sleep that night. My adrenaline was pumping. My friends can’t sleep either. We all stay up and talk.

 

Going Back to School

 

I was battling anorexia at the time, so I didn’t eat anyways, but at this time, I go the longest I ever have without eating. Daily, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I was terrified. Going back to school was horrible. We went back on a Friday. We all met in the gym. Going to the gym was for a moment of silence, prayer, and hearing about all the available resources. The school was never the same. We jumped at every dropped book and we were constantly looking over our shoulders. Also, we were all wary of strangers. We enjoyed the service dogs that came to the school. That was the best part. We played card games to pass the time.

 

Fear

 

I always told myself that If something like that happened to me, I would never go back to school, and I finished my year out there and then became homeschooled. Honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to sit down in that school and worry about who was walking through the door. I couldn’t sit there and continue to jump at every dropped book. I’ve only been to the school twice since then, and I still struggle with going there.

 

I kept in contact with the teachers I was in the classroom with that day. You will hardly ever catch me in sandals in public because they aren’t good running shoes. Every year, I plug in my headphone and blare my music, so I don’t hear the fireworks. I can hear gunshots and shoot guns (I’m a pretty good shot), but there’s something about fireworks that I can’t handle. I wish people would be more considerate of people like me every year.

Related Posts

I Am Living Proof Review and Giveaway

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Healing Through Anger

Brandi C

Healing Through Anger

 

Healing Through Anger

In this piece, my guest blogger talks about how she is healing through anger. Anger is a valid emotion, as Jesus was angry when He turned over the tables in the temple. Anger is secondary to fear and/or sadness. In this piece, you can see her fear. Also, you can feel her sadness. Please pray for this young girl as you think of it.

I Am So Angry With You

I have said it a million times, but I am so angry with you. If I were in the business of hating people, you would be first on my list. The thought of you makes my blood pressure skyrocket. Why couldn’t you be a normal stepfather? Seriously, why did you have to abuse me? Why me? I was a child. What kind of man likes children? 

I wish my mom would have never met you. Honestly, I wish I did not blame myself for what you did. I know I was young, and it was not my fault. It’s yours. You are the one who abused me, not the other way around.

Tell the Truth

I have had a few opportunities to tell you the truth, to say whatever I wanted to you, but I did not. Part of me wishes I would not have been such a coward. I want you to know how much you hurt me. The other part of me knows that what I said would not matter; you would not care. You would enjoy the attention; you always like all the attention on you.

What I Want to SCREAM

I want to scream at you and tell you that you hurt me. Also, I want to tell you that you traumatized me. I want to tell you how I cannot even change clothes in the comfort of my own home without feeling uncomfortable or like I am being watched. To yell that you took my childhood and my innocence away from me. That is something I will never get back. I cannot go back and act like a child again. Not all of that is your fault, but a big piece of it is.

I am never a violent person, but I would like to punch you in the face after a few good times. I bet that would help me release some of my anger. That sure would make me feel better. I do not understand how you can have four types of cancers and still be alive. I guess that is just how my life goes.

Papa T is Crossing the Line

I heard a phrase today that I had not heard in a long time. A phrase that makes me nauseous. “Daddy T,” I never understood why you made us call you that. Mom does not understand why that name makes me uncomfortable; honestly, I don’t completely understand it myself. All I know is the name makes me physically sick. My sister told me today that you want her daughter to call you “Papa T,” It incited some rage in me. 

Yet, That Baby is Safe From You

Luckily that baby lives far away now, so you cannot get your hands on her. I could promise you that you would never meet her if she were still around. I would go to jail before that happened, and I would be okay with it. You will never get the satisfaction of her calling you “papa T,” which I feel is WAY too close to “Daddy T.” 

You will never get the satisfaction of taking that baby’s innocence away from her, which brings me just a little bit of you. Your abuse ended with me, and I will do everything I can to ensure it goes no further.

Working on Forgiveness

I know it does not sound like it, but I am trying to forgive you. It is just a slow process. The thing is, I am not forgiving you for you. I am doing this for me. To heal. I am doing it to put you in the past and finally move on. To better myself and be the best person I can be. I know, in the end, you will get what you deserve, and I will not even have to lift a finger.

 Related Posts

High Functioning Depression

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Happy Without You

Brandi C

The Pain of Losing a Friendship

Happy Without You

This young lady shares her feelings about losing a special friendship in Happy Without You. Friendships come and go like the ebbs and flows of the ocean. That is what I tell so many people because it puts in perspective that the things of this Earth are not forever. Yet, losing a friendship is so very hard. I always say you can either release them and enjoy the memories or hold onto them and be left with scars as Jesus rips them out of your hand.

 This story is written by a young lady who is experiencing the loss of her relationship with a friend. Her pain is evident, and this is her way of releasing those emotions healthily. I pray for peace and restoration for her and her friend. We always have to remember “but God.” He is the healer of all things in His time.

Happy Without You

 Happy Without You. Hey, you know that if you want to hang out with me, you can text me. I am not trying to make you think that I don’t give a shit about you. I would hate for you to feel that way. You know, you really should be careful of what you put out in this world. You could hurt someone. 

Hence the reason I have taken measures to prevent you from hurting me. And this is only one of many instances. I have to do this for my mental health. It was hard and hurtful to see and hear those things, these passive-aggressive, attention-seeking words that bore deep in my soul. 

My Offering and Your Response

I have offered to be friends, have fun, live our lives together, create things, and make things I knew you would like. And you decide to say some bullshit like that? And even if you didn’t mean it towards me, maybe it wasn’t your intent. Doesn’t matter. Still hurt. And sorry is not going to fix this. 

I am so sick and tired of your antics and your attention-seeking behavior. Do you even care about me? You haven’t once asked me how I have been. Not in all of this time. Not then and not now. Do you know how much that hurts? Honestly, do you know how badly I want someone I can trust? Do you know how badly I want to be your friend? 

Why Stop?

You quit texting me. Also, You stopped hanging out with me. You. Not me. This is your fault, not mine. It is all on you. You make things about yourself anyway, so why should this be any different? I feel unwelcome in your presence. Awkward is what I feel because I cannot trust you. I don’t know how to act around you. Honestly, I don’t know who you are anymore. And it is so hard that I can’t trust you anymore. 

My Reasons

So, do you want to know why I don’t make plans? Because every time I have tried, you find someone or something better for you to do. And that hurts. I would go above and beyond to make you feel welcome so you wouldn’t see my depression. So you wouldn’t have to see my anxiety. So you wouldn’t have to see my trauma. You don’t seem interested in hanging out with me. Do you ever try and point the finger at yourself? Or is it everyone else’s fault but yours? 

 

What Did I do?

 

What did I do to hurt you? Is this my fault after all? Everything is usually my fault; that comes from my trauma. But do you even care? No, you don’t bother to ask. I was there for you for everything. I helped you. I supported you. I loved you. And I got nothing in return. And I didn’t want anything. Because that is what true friendship is really like. Or have you forgotten? 

 

I don’t know who you are anymore, understand your thought process, and know why you have such disdain for me. Frankly, I don’t understand your words. I am hurt, and I can’t trust you. Trust is such a fickle thing for me. Once you break my trust, you are gone. And I gave you so many chances. But no more. I have tried and tried and tried some more to open myself up to you. 

 

What You Don’t Know

 

Do you know that I have been in trauma therapy for months? Do you know the horrors I have had to relive? Do you know how bad my depression has gotten? Do you know that I have panic attacks when I am triggered? Do you know that my anxiety is through the roof most of the time? No. BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE. You don’t care; otherwise, you would have said something. You would have asked. 

 

I want to be passive-aggressive back to you. I want to say something so passive-aggressive it makes your blood boil. So you could know what it feels like when you say something like what you did. But I am a bigger person. So I won’t do that. And that is ok. But I secretly want you to read this. I want you to know how badly you have hurt me. I want you to know how many hours I have cried over our friendship. I want you to know. 

 

I Have Always Loved You

 

But it is getting harder and harder to love you each day. I am heartbroken. It is your fault. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. You are one of the reasons why I don’t trust anyone. I trusted you, and you broke it. I felt betrayed and so alone. Do you know how badly I wanted to be your friend? Can you even fathom it? 

 

You are one of the Best People I Have Ever Known.

 

However, I don’t even recognize you anymore. It is not because I judge you. I never have and never will. I have done enough things that I am ashamed of, and I do not feel the need to judge every single person I meet. So if that’s why you hate me so much, get that thought out of your head. I have never judged you and never will. But you have changed. The person I thought cared about me doesn’t seem to exist anymore. 

 

Someone to Trust

 

I want someone to tell my story too. That is something I want. I desire that. But I can’t do that with you. You made sure of that. Trauma is a bitch. But I have been stuck in my little bubble for so long that it is hard for me to reach out. Because of the times, I have tried to reach out, I was judged and retreated into my bubble. And now, I am working through this messy middle of trauma therapy, which is not easy. Not that you care. Again, you never asked. 

 

So instead of blaming everyone else, why don’t you start blaming yourself? You pushed everyone away, the people closest to you. I was one of those people that you drove away. You are the definition of a guilt trip. You are such a triggering person. You gaslight people into thinking that it is their fault instead of yours. Your guilt and manipulation to get your way. In a way, I am better off without you. 

 

Without You

 

Without you, I would have survived my trauma. I got married without you. Without you, I got myself into treatment. I was blessed with the best gift anyone could ask for without you. It’s currently kicking inside of me now. Without you, I would have survived my suicidal ideations. I got myself medicated without you. Without you, I got my life back on track. I got closer to Jesus without you. All of these things I did without you. 

 

And you know what? I am a freaking fantastic person. And you are missing out. So peace, love, and Spock signal. I hope you are happy. Because I sure am. Happy without you. 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Choices that I Made

Brandi C

Choices that I Made

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7  The Lord chose me and His choices are for me to live!

Life-Changing Events

Being a young parent is hard. Tremendously hard. It changes you when you have complicated pregnancies and one delivery that almost loses your child. The lack of communication, dealing with undiagnosed (and untreated) mental illness (depression and anxiety), and money were some of the problems. Well, that can wreak havoc on a marriage. Other things that happened were utterly life-changing. My children and I almost died. That was the moment when I lost myself.

Choices that I Made

Because of the events that changed three beautiful kids and me forever, I left a good husband. He did nothing but try to be the best husband. Honestly, I think he believed that if he just loved me enough, all my past anxiety and depression would go away. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

Just Keeping Swimming

A failed marriage, a dead-end relationship, and then an abusive marriage is what happened in the blink of an eye. That relationship and abusive marriage are things I should never have been in in the first place. The abusive marriage caused me to be in a very dark place.

I tried to keep on, but I was treading water, barely keeping my eyes above the waves. Sadly, I went through the motions of life, but I wasn’t there anymore. A terrible accident occurred, and I have not recovered from that. Medical issues and so much more that I cannot even list. It was just hit after hit. Day after day. Minute after minute.

What I Didn’t See

Nothing I did that was good enough for him. He cheated all the time. Lied. He abused me mentally, emotionally, and so much more. He tried to separate me from the people I loved most. So I tried to take my own life. I didn’t feel worthy. I thought that everyone would be better off without me. My kids and family were isolated from me because of my abusive husband. I didn’t want to live anymore.

But God

By the grace of God, I lived. My family never left me. They gave me the strength to leave him and move forward. I learned how to live independently, seeking no one’s approval. This time, as an adult, I sought help and continued to stay in therapy. Sadly, I have had a couple of relapses. However, my family rallied around me this time, and I was not alone.

Today

I am happy to say that I am alive, happily married again, and I have a great support system. I feel I am a much stronger person now. The man I am married to is good for me and loves me. Now, I have a bonus daughter to add to my crew. I am loved.

My Advice to You

There have been choices that I have made that were very bad. Honestly, I regret it to this day. If I could take it all back and have a do-over, I would in a heartbeat. Sadly, I can’t. So all I can do is learn from them. I have done that and moved on. I’ve also known that it’s okay to have bad days. There are days when you want to curl up in a bed and cry all day. Maybe eat a gallon of ice cream.

Just don’t stay there.

You are not that person anymore.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

Brandi C

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

WARNING THIS COULD BE A TRIGGERING POST:  Today, September 10, 2020, is World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day.  Content in this issue contains information on death and dying, mental illness, and mental health crisis, which some readers may find triggering. If you need support at any time, please call or text 988, or the National Postpartum Depression Hotline at 1-800-PPD-MOMS.

#BEThe1To ASK

This can be a HARD thing to say.  For me, I don’t want to put that seed in their head, if it isn’t already there.  I do pray for discernment.  Simply say “How are you feeling?  Do you have anything in the home that can harm you?  Are you safe?  How can I help?  Do you feel the urge to do something unsafe to yourself.”

I always follow up those questions with truths.  “You are loved.  I love you.  You are my treasure.  There is hope.  Value to your life.”

#BeThe1To KEEP THEM SAFE

I usually show up, if I can.  There have been many hours spent cleaning my friends up while reminding them they are loved.  I have sat at hospitals for hours on end to just be present and remind them that they are loved and treasured.  This is a moment, this does not have to be their forever.  Sometimes, I have to be their voice when they are struggling to find their words.

#BeThe1To BE THERE

Did the people in the back hear this?  LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGMENT AND WITH COMPASSION AND EMPATHY.   This is NOT hard.  Just simply listen, support, encourage, and cry with them.  They don’t need you to fix it.  Honestly, they just need an ear.

#BeThe1To HELP THEM CONNECT

Know the number.  Call it for them, if they need you to.  Be the one who calls in the cavalry if you need to.  Give them a list of people that can listen and help.  Pastors, family, friends, therapists and then make sure they follow through!  Go with them if they need it.

#BeThe1To FOLLOW UP

When the crisis is over, for that moment, follow up and check on them.  Once a week, send an encouraging text.  Call.  Visit.  Somehow relay that you are so thankful that they are there and the purpose that they have in this life.  God is not done with them yet!

BEThe1To  You can save a life…just by asking!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Deaths in the United States

Brandi C

Suicide Deaths in the United States

These are some powerful visuals from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center.  The statistics are based on Suicide Deaths in the United States.  Please, stop and take a look.  More people have suicidal ideations than you think.  Sadly, some of these people may be your family or friends.

 

Suicide Deaths in the United States

From 2009 to 2018, the age-adjusted suicide death rate increased from 11.76 to 14.24 per 100,000 people. From 2009 to 2018, the rate increased from 19.23 to 22.79 per 100,000 for males. Among females, the rate increased from 4.88 in 2009 to 6.18 in 2018.

Suicides consistently outnumber homicides.

Suicide Deaths in the United States

 

The homicide rate has not consistently shown the upward trend that we see with the suicide rate.

Suicide Deaths in the United States

 

Suicide rates are generally highest in Alaska and in the western and northwestern United States, with the exception of southern California and parts of Washington. Rural counties generally have higher rates of suicide than urban counties.

References

  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics. (2020). 1999-2018 Wide-Ranging Online Data for Epidemiological Research (WONDER), Multiple Cause of Death files [Data file]. Retrieved from CDC Underlying Cause

  2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2008-2014, United States Smoothed Age-Adjusted Death Rates per 100,000 Population [map]. All Injury, Suicide, All Races, All Ethnicities, Both Sexes, All Ages. (January 2020). Retrieved from CDC

  3. Rosen, L. M., Hedegaard, H., Kahn, D., & Warner, M. (2018). County-level trends in suicide rates in the U.S., 2005–2015. American Journal of Preventive Medicine [3], 55(1), 72-79.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

You are Not Your Trauma

Brandi C

You are Not Your Trauma

Highlighting Stories of Survivors

In this story, you will read about a “boyfriend” who abuses his girlfriend. The phrase “You Are Not Your Trauma” has affected my heart so profoundly. As my heart was breaking for what this young girl had gone through, in the end, she knows Truth. What man used for evil, He will use for His glory. Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. I’m so proud of this young lady.

A TRUE story of this young lady being controlled, manipulated, abused, and her suicidal ideations. She is NOT a victim. This girl is a survivor and a child of the King. Please be mindful that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things if I leave comments.

The Beginning

I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I will start at the beginning. I had a very happy childhood; it was normal until it wasn’t. When I was about 14, almost 15, I was in a courtship with a person older than me. It seemed so innocent at the time. We were almost always supervised by my parents or his.

His Capabilities

When you are 14, you start being interested in boys and all that fun stuff. So it was nice to be noticed by someone of the opposite sex. I had no idea what he was capable of, and I am still finding out what he was capable of to this day. I honestly don’t know when it happened, but he emotionally and psychologically abused me. 

He also molested me. There, I said it. It’s not something I like to talk about at all. Some people in this world are super manipulators. They can play you and get inside your head; you have no idea what hit you. That’s what this person was like, a master manipulator. A snake. That’s a good word to use, the other ones I want to use involve curse words, and I do not think that is appropriate in this context. 

Fear

I was afraid. All the time. Fearful of making my abuser angry. Afraid of him hurting me. Afraid that one misstep would be the end. That fear came to a boiling point when he attempted to force me to kiss him by holding my face with a blanket over my head and pulling me towards him. I fought like hell, and he backed off. But that wasn’t the end. I knew that he would hurt me if I said anything. 

He didn’t even have to threaten me. He had such control over my mind that I knew without him saying anything. Then the molestation happened. I do not want to disclose that and don’t have to. I still didn’t say anything. I remember he came to my bedroom window after everyone was asleep and told me it was best if I didn’t tell anyone. That scared me. He scared me. 

Speaking Out

But I did eventually say something. And it didn’t end; I wanted it to end. I tried to forget everything that happened and never remembered it. Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. No, that is not how life works. Then the police were involved, which was also terrifying. Me, a 15-year-old child, being interviewed by a detective (who, by the way, is a wonderful person. I am forever grateful for how he helped me. Yet it is hard for me to talk to him now. He reminds me of what happened.) The person went away. I only saw him a few times after that.

But it Didn’t End

Even though he was gone, it didn’t end. I remember not even knowing what I liked to do. I didn’t even know who I was anymore without him. I tried to put this whole situation behind me. I “forgave” this person, but I didn’t because I did not understand the scope of the damage he did to me. 

Abuse, no matter the type, changes a person. It eats away at your brain. You get paranoid. Jumpy. Nowhere is safe. No one is safe. Trust is a prized commodity. If I bestowed my trust upon you, you better treat it respectfully. Because the moment you give me a reason not to trust you, you are gone. And there is no going back.

Returning to “Normal”

Growing up after that incident, my childhood returned to “normal.” But I didn’t feel normal. I felt out of place. My innocence was gone. I became very hyperactive. I could not sit still and chatter nonsensically, but the nights were the worst. I felt I needed to be doing something to avoid being still constantly. The nights were so bad. Alone at night with my thoughts, that’s when the dark would try to creep in. 

Moving On

When I got to college, I worked three jobs and took a huge class load. I was so depressed. I would fake being happy. Just put a smile on my face, and everything would be ok. But those dark memories I had repressed for so long kept creeping up on me. I began to have panic attacks and pain in places I had not experienced. These panic attacks stemmed from my trauma, but I didn’t know it. 

I got a big girl job right before I graduated college. I was over the moon. I was good at my job. I met someone, he was sweet, and I gave him some of my precious trust. I thought I was “happy .”But I wasn’t. Those master manipulator traits the person that hurt me had, this person had too. He would make jokes at my expense, gaslight me, and only care about the physical side of our relationship.

Another “Charmer”

Now this person was a real charmer; he decided to break up with me a few months before we were going to get married. I remember being so distraught. That beloved trust I had given him was disintegrating. It tore me to my core. It took so long to be able to “get over” him. I should also mention that I don’t trust. Shocker. I know. I am very distrustful of people that I do not know, especially men. I make it a point not to be alone with men if I can help. I do it almost subconsciously. I don’t even really think about it anymore. 

Spiraling Downward

Then I lost my job. I was so sad, so hopeless. I don’t even know why I lost that job. I had to move out of my apartment to another one. I didn’t have hardly any money after that move because it took almost all the money I had saved. My depression was at its height. 

My parents had to give me money to get by. I didn’t want their money. I didn’t want to ask, but they gave it anyway. I ended up searching for jobs and couldn’t find one. I interviewed for several, and nothing. I returned to a part-time position so I could have some money for my rent. And that was a comfort to me, going back to something familiar. 

But my panic attacks, anxiety, and depression were almost insurmountable. At this point, I thought there was something wrong with me. I had everything when I was a child. There was no reason for me to be this way. What is wrong with me? 

The Unexpected

I ended up finding a different job. I had to go away to training for weeks, only coming home for the weekends. At the time, I was dating other people. I dated some peculiar people. But at that training, I met the forever love of my life. Not expected. 

He is unlike any other man I have ever dated. He had no idea of the mental anguish that I suffered daily. I ended up marrying that man, still with this awful job that caused me to be physically ill because I did not want to be there. I still have flashbacks to that job and the horrible things I saw there. It was a dangerous job, unexpected. 

Because I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around everyone, I was constantly on my guard (typical for me, but this was a dangerous situation) for anything to happen. And that is just not the way that anyone should live. I got another job now, and I am so thankful for that one. 

Getting Help

At this time, my now husband encouraged me to go to counseling. And I did. But I didn’t go for the right reasons. I was fresh married, so we had a lot of getting used to each other. I was learning to trust again. And that was hard. I told this counselor what happened to me, but it was never the focus of what we discussed in sessions. It was helpful for the time. 

I was medicated from my first big girl job, which seemed to help a lot. However, I was on a lot of meds. A lot. Too much, and it affected me big time. I felt like a zombie, numb, and it was not an easy feeling. I quit going to that counselor because I thought I was all better now. 

Panic Attacks, Flashbacks, Intrusive Thoughts

Fast forward a few months, at home. Panic attacks run rampant. It got so much worse. I would lash out at my husband, and I didn’t mean to do that. He knew what happened to me, and one day I asked him if he thought it affected me, and he said it did. That struck me. 

My panic attacks were so severe that I would feel like I couldn’t move. I would scream and cry in fear. For some reason, my brain would revert to those fearful times and make it seem like they were happening again, even though I knew I was safe. I would just see his face. The one that hurt me. He never left. He was always there. 

I had the most intense flashbacks that I have ever had. And I realized. I wasn’t like this before this happened to me. I wasn’t hyperactive, I wasn’t depressed, I wasn’t anxious, and I didn’t deal with intrusive thoughts or compulsions. I didn’t obsess over every little thing. I didn’t have panic attacks. I realized that he caused all of this. But what was I to do? I constantly felt like I was not enough. 

Suicidal Ideations

Eventually, I went off my meds because I thought I was bett, which was a big mistake. I was fine for a while, but then I became numb. I didn’t care for the things I liked to do. I didn’t want to do anything but lay in bed all day long. My pain and anguish were so overwhelming that I didn’t think there was a way out. 

Some days I would feel everything. Then other days, I felt nothing. I was suicidal. I didn’t want to do it, but the thoughts were there. It would sit on my brain for hours. And hours. And hours. I was in so much pain. In such a deep, dark tunnel, I thought no one could reach me. I was ashamed of what I felt. When I told my mom and my husband, I feared they would be angry with me. But they weren’t. They worked out a safety plan with me. 

When Most People Think of Suicidality

They think well that person is selfish. That person is crazy. That person needs to be in an institution somewhere. I hate all of that. It is not ok. This stigma surrounds people who have suicidal ideations. The people that are suicidal are not crazy. They are hurting. They are in a mental anguish that you will never understand. 

They need love and support, not to be told they are selfish or crazy. Not to be brushed off as, oh well, you can’t be that depressed. I was told by some people well; you don’t look depressed. You don’t have anxiety. You can’t. Look at all you have; you can’t be depressed when you have all of this. Just exercise. That will fix it. LET GO AND LET GOD. Ughhh, how I hate that phrase. 

Just Listen

Letting it go is not easy. It doesn’t work. If it worked, I would have been “cured” long ago. My trauma would have just disappeared if letting goes worked. But it doesn’t, so do everyone around you a favor and stop saying that. Just. Stop. Take it out of your vocabulary. Also, while you are at it, take out this one: “God won’t give you anything that you can’t handle.” 

God gives us stuff we can’t handle so He can be the one to handle it. I have had to let myself be weak so God can be stronger. And that is not an easy thing to do. So stop saying all these fluffy phrases because you have no idea what people around you are walking through in their lives. 

Unless you are willing to walk through the fire in their place, just be there as a support. But don’t tell them everything will be fine, don’t try to fluff things up. Just be there. Just listen without judgment. I repeat: JUST LISTEN. 

Fast Forward

Now that my soapbox is over, fast forward to the beginning of this year. I had the realization, the aha moment, that my trauma caused all of my pain. All of my mental illnesses. All of it. So I made the courageous step to seek out a trauma counselor. She is wonderful. I bonded with her immediately. She understood and didn’t judge me like so many people have. She listens and lets me cry. She makes observations that make so much sense. She tells me I need to re-parent that 14 years old because she is still there. Desperate for help. She helped me with my safety plan. 

I had the support of her, my mom, and my husband. I got closer to Jesus. He helped me realize that even though I was going through a dark tunnel, he was there. He would pull me out. He was right there the whole time. And it was Jesus who pushed me to get into trauma therapy. While it is hard to revisit those awful things that happened to me, I feel more at peace than ever. I got back on my meds. 

Good and Bad Days

I have good days and bad days. But more good than bad. Trauma processing is something that needs to happen. Because when trauma occurs, our brains do not file those memories away as they are supposed to. So I have to revisit every memory and refile it correctly so I won’t be as affected. It will always be there, it is a part of my story, but I no longer have to fear it. God wants all of me, even the parts I don’t want him to have. He has brought all those fears and memories into the light, so I don’t have to hide them anymore. 

Seek Help

So, for those reading this that are in pain and suffering. Seek help. You will find it. You don’t have to go through life alone. If you are suffering, talk to me. Or find someone you trust and talk to them. If you need medication to get by, then do it. Ignore the stigma behind being medicated. 

Many intelligent people in this world have figured out that mental illness is caused by brain chemicals not being balanced. So meds are there to help you balance your chemicals. Do not beat yourself up for taking meds. Just don’t do it. I did, and it isn’t worth it. It is there for a reason. There is no need to feel ashamed about taking medication. 

If you need to go to therapy, then do it. It is not easy, but don’t feel you have to give your whole life story the first time you meet your therapist. If you don’t like them, find someone else. Get to know them, and make sure they are a good fit. 

You Are Not Your Trauma

Do not lose hope. Even when you think there is no hope, there is always a sliver. Know that you are not your trauma. Know that you are not your past. No matter what you have done, know that you are loved. If you think no one else loves you, talk to me. If I am the only one, then so be it. You have someone that loves you. Your life is too precious to be taken so soon. You have a purpose in this world. You just may not have found it yet. Don’t lose hope. 

Listen Without Judgement

And for those reading this who are fortunate enough not to have any trauma or mental illness. This is for you. Listen without judgment. If someone trusts you enough to talk to you about tough shit, do not take that for granted. These people are reaching out to you; take their hand and walk with them. 

Don’t fluff up the situation. For Pete’s sake, quit saying let go, let God. Just listen and try to put yourself in their shoes. If someone is acting strange, not like themselves, don’t ignore that. Strike up a conversation. Ask them if they are alright. They may lie, but don’t ignore the warning signs. Keep talking to them, and let them know they are loved and appreciated. Tell them that you are there for them if they need someone. Just listen and love. Get rid of your stigma against suicide, mental health, therapy, and medication. Educate yourselves. The more you know, the better prepared you will be. 

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Brandi C

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

 

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Suicide is a topic that is near to my heart. This month is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Specifically, if you think someone you know is in danger, call 911! Make sure they seek help. During an escalated situation, sometimes mental clarity can get in the way. For that reason, recognize the problem. Therefore, be prepared and have numbers handy. For that reason, understand that the person you are helping can cause friction. During this friction time, do not be offended by what could be said to you. By making the phone call and intervening, you are saving another person’s life. Specifically, your friend’s life. Also, do not disappear. Firstly, the person you are helping feels abandoned. Secondly, by staying with them, you are showing them they are still loved. More often than not, this act is as important as that first phone call of help.

1. Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)

Website: http://www.sprc.org/ Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Subsequently, the (SPRC) is the only federally supported resource center.

2. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

Website: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention/index.shtml

The National Institute of Mental Health is the lead federal agency for research on mental disorders.  Firstly, they want to help people understand mental illness.  Secondly, the treatment of this illness.

3. Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide (SPTS)

Website: http://www.sptsusa.org/

Teen suicide is a growing problem in America.  Consequently, SPTS is a nonprofit organization.

4. Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention

Website: http://actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/resources

This is a public and private alliance of organizations.

5. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)

Website: https://afsp.org/find-support/resources/

The AFSP website has a long list of resources.  It also provides help to people who have lost loved ones to suicide.

6. Crisis Text Line

Website: https://www.crisistextline.org/  Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741

Teens are often more comfortable texting than talking on the telephone. They will help de-escalate individuals who are considering suicide.

7. HelpGuide

Website: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

HelpGuide provides information on a wide variety of mental health issues.

8. Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE)

Website: https://save.org/  Crisis line: 1-800-273-8255

Founded by a mother who lost her daughter to suicide in 1979.  SAVE’s mission is to help prevent suicide.

9. The Trevor Project

Website: www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Trevor Project was founded in 1998.  These services help LGBTQ+ young people under 25.

10. For My Spanish-Speaking Visitors

Please click on the Las Disparidades Raciales en el Tratamiento de la Salud Mental: Investigación y Recursos.  Also, thank you to Sarah Martell at Web Advocates for the link and information.

Related Posts

Let’s Talk Hair Loss in Women

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

My Story Will Empower Me

Brandi C

My Story Will Empower Me

Highlighting Stories of Survivors

In this story, you will read about abuse by a stepfather to his stepdaughter. The phrase “My Story Will Empower Me” has stuck in my throat. As my heart was breaking for what this young girl had gone through, in the end, she knows Truth. What man used for evil, He will use for His glory. Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. I’m so proud of this young lady.

A TRUE story of several years of abuse and the suicidal ideations this young lady had at a very young age. She is NOT a victim. This girl is a survivor and a child of the King. Please be mindful that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things if I leave comments. All names have been changed to protect her.

Her Story

Donald,

Sometimes, I like to lay in bed and daydream about what my life would be like had you not abused me for many years. I want to think that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be utterly disgusted with myself. Maybe I could undress in front of a mirror without cringing every time I see myself. Perhaps I would feel more comfortable around older men.

I Wasn’t the Only One.

You took a genuine interest in my sister, but you preferred to take pictures of her. You saved the majority of touching for me. One of the primary examples of touching I remember is when we would walk next to each other. You would put your arm around me and grab my butt. Sometimes, you would switch it up and rest your hand on my butt.

When It Began

I remember the abuse started when I was about nine, but I’m sure it happened well before then. Never will I forget you making us change in front of you. I remember my sixth-grade year when you made me and my sister rotate, who would change directly in front of you, and how you wouldn’t let us wear anything to the bed besides our underwear. I also remember when you were in a particularly good mood, and you would make us sleep naked so you could come into our room and stare at our bodies.

Innocence Stolen

What traumatized me the most was when you made me and my sister go into the little garage with you. You made my sister lock the door and told us to get completely naked. I remember how shaky my hands were while taking off my clothes. I was so scared of what you were going to do next. You called it “checking us for ticks,” but I know that’s not why you were doing it because you didn’t make our brothers do it either. I also know that wasn’t the real reason because I remember you waited until our mom left to do it. We couldn’t have been in the garage for long, but it felt like a lifetime trapped in there with you.

I vividly remember what it felt like when your rough hands traced every single inch of my body. If I had the choice to forget one day in my life, that would be the day. That was the day that you took my innocence from me. I was ten years old. No ten-year-olds should ever have to feel how I felt on that day. Ten-year-olds should be playing dress-up, not getting abused by their stepfathers. I trusted you. I loved you, and I thought you loved me too. What you did was not love.

Wanting Out

At night, I would lay in bed and think of ways to kill you so the abuse would stop. If I wasn’t plotting to kill you, I was planning ways to kill myself. I didn’t care what it took. I wanted out of the situation. It’s crazy to think about how much I wanted to die at ten. How many ten-year-olds do you know that want to commit suicide?

Anger Flows Freely

I’m angry that you took my innocence from me. You took my childhood. I’m mad you didn’t feel guilty for what you did to me. Also, I’m angry that you didn’t spend the rest of your life in jail. Honestly, I’m mad that you are still alive and my mother still loves you. I’m angry you guys got married. She chose you over me. I’m mad you locked my brother in his room for a week because you thought he was faking it. I had to sneak him food and water. I am so angry about that. I’m mad you waited so long to take him to the hospital.

Even after he was diagnosed {with brain cancer}, you treated him like crap because you thought he was doing it for attention. I’m angry I didn’t get to be there with my brother as he was dying because of you. I don’t know how you live with yourself. How do you sleep at night? I hope you are miserable. I hope the guilt about my brother eats you up inside.

Wishes for My Future

If and when I have children, I will do everything I can to protect them from people like you. I promise that I won’t be like you or my mother. My children will never have to worry about men watching them change or shower. My children will never look in the mirror and hate themselves because of what happened. Hopefully, one day, I will be able to forgive you. I hope one day I will look in the mirror and be proud of who I am and what I have overcome. I wish I could say that this won’t happen to other little girls, but I know many people like you.

My Story Will Empower Me

I hope one day soon that I will be able to publicly tell my story so that other women can speak up about their stories. You will lose your grip on me one day, and I’ll love myself again. Soon, I will love my body. I will no longer be ashamed of you, and my story will empower me. One day soon, you’ll die, and I will sleep a tad bit better at night. You will get what is coming to you and deserve every bit of it.

You will have to answer for what you did to me one of these days. There is nothing you can ever say or do to make up for what you did to me. One of these days, I will be doing better than ever. Your abuse never has and will never define who I am or where I’m going. I hope you are happy with the choices you’ve made in life. I hope that it was all worth it in the end.

Yours Truly,

Nicole

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Brandi C

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Tough but Important

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  Suicide…that word makes my heart jump in my throat and I have an immediate physical reaction.  People are so afraid to talk about this subject because they may be afraid it could “trigger” someone.  That is a valid fear!  Yet, fear is a liar!

My life has been touched by suicide so much.  There are many hospital beds I have sat next to.  Hands I have held.  Families I have cried with.  Prayers that I’ve prayed.  Funerals that I have attended.

Please know this is so difficult but so important to discuss.  Mental health problems should not be hidden.  The stigma should be ended and judgment of others should be thrown out the window.

If you have a story you want to share, please email me at barefootfaithjourney@gmail.com and I will be happy to anonymously (if you choose) use your story on my blog.

You are loved.  Worthy.  You are created in the image of Jesus.  Your story IS NOT finished.

Q: How common is suicide in children and teens?

A: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that in 2014, suicide was the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10–24. Although these numbers may make suicide seem common, it is still a rare event. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors are more common than suicide deaths and are signs of extreme distress. Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are not harmless bids for attention and should not be ignored.

Q: What are some of the risk factors for suicide?

A: Risk factors vary with age, gender, or ethnic group and may change over time. Some factors that increase an individual’s risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors are:

  • Depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders
  • Substance abuse disorder
  • Chronic pain
  • Prior suicide attempt
  • Family history of suicide
  • Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
  • Firearms in the home
  • Having recently been released from jail or prison
  • Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, such as family members or peers

It is important to note that many people who have these risk factors are not suicidal.

Q: What are the warning signs?

A: The following are some of the signs you might notice in yourself or a friend that may be the reason for concern:

  • Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill oneself
  • Making a plan or looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online
  • Buying a gun, or stockpiling pills
  • Feeling empty, hopeless, or feeling like there is no reason to live
  • Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
  • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Withdrawing from family or friends or feeling isolated
  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  • Displaying extreme mood swings
  • Saying goodbye to loved ones, putting affairs in order.

Seeking help is a sign of strength; if you are concerned, go with your instincts and seek professional help.

Reaching out to a friend you are concerned about is also a sign of strength.

What can I do for myself or someone else?

A: Immediate action is very important. Here are a few resources:

  • You can call or text 988 confidential help 24-hours-a-day. You also can visit the Lifeline’s website at 988 Lifeline
  • Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, press 1
  • Crisis Text Line: text START to 741-741
  • Help for Mental Illnesses: National Institute of Mental Health web page www.nimh.nih.gov/findhelp
  • Treatment Referral Routing Service: 1-800-662-HELP (4357), funded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Q: What if someone seems suicidal on social media?

A: Many social media outlets, including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Google+, have ways to report suicidal content and get help for the content creator. Each social media site has a different procedure, so search the site’s help page for assistance.

Q: What if I want to write a story about suicide?

A: Great idea! Here are suggestions for reporting on suicide: http://reportingonsuicide.org/.

Q: Where can I go for more information on suicide prevention?

A: You can:

Visit the National Library of Medicine’s MedlinePlus,
English: www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus
En Español: www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/spanish