Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

Every new season, chapter, or transition invites us to make a choice:

What do we carry with us… and what do we release?

It’s not always easy. Some things we’ve held onto for years like habits, patterns, relationships, beliefs. They feel so familiar that letting go seems impossible. Other things are life-giving, but we forget to pack them in the rush of moving forward.

This process isn’t just about decluttering your home or schedule. It’s about making space for the life God is calling you into, one intentional choice at a time.


1. Start With Honest Reflection

Find a quiet space, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

  • What has been giving me life, energy, and hope?

  • What has been draining me, discouraging me, or distracting me from God?

  • What fears or excuses keep me holding on to things I no longer need?

Write your answers down without judging them.


2. What to Keep

These are the things that help you grow, heal, and stay rooted in Christ. They can be practices, values, relationships, or even mindsets:

  • Healthy Rhythms: Prayer, Sabbath rest, nourishing food, movement you enjoy.

  • Life-Giving Relationships: People who speak truth with kindness, who celebrate your wins, and hold space for your tears.

  • Faith Practices: Scripture reading that feeds your soul, worship that draws you near, serving in ways that align with your calling.

  • Hope-Filled Thoughts: Beliefs that anchor you in God’s promises.


3. What to Leave Behind

Leaving behind is not the same as giving up—it’s making space. These might include:

  • Toxic Patterns: People-pleasing, overcommitting, self-criticism.

  • Unhealthy Relationships: Connections rooted in manipulation, comparison, or constant conflict.

  • Draining Habits: Overscrolling, gossip, numbing your emotions instead of processing them.

  • False Beliefs: “I’m not enough.” “God has forgotten me.” “I have to do it all.”


4. Grieve What You Let Go

Even when we know something isn’t good for us, letting it go can feel like loss. Acknowledge the grief. Bring it to God. Trust that what He’s asking you to release will be replaced with something better in His time.


5. Carry Only What You’re Meant to Carry

Picture yourself walking into the next season with a lighter load. Everything you keep is something you’ve chosen with care. Everything you leave behind is something you’ve entrusted to God’s hands.


💛 Gentle Encouragement

Every “yes” to something life-giving requires a “no” to something that isn’t. You are allowed to travel light. You are allowed to let go. And you are allowed to hold on to what matters most—even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.


Scripture to Hold:
“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” — Hebrews 12:1

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With Every Joy, In Every Hope

With Every Joy, In Every Hope

This journey with OMS has brought me to my knees more times than I can count. It has stretched me, refined me, broken me open—and built something stronger in its place. However, With Every Joy, In Every Hope there is Jesus.

There have been days filled with fear. With doubt. With exhaustion that sank into my bones.
But there have also been days of joy.
Joy that surprised me. Joy that snuck in quietly and wrapped itself around the hardest moments.

And that’s what I’ve learned: joy and hope can live alongside pain.
They’re not emotions reserved for the easy days.
They are gifts from God, woven right into the messy middle of the story.

With every joy—in every smile, every step forward, every laugh that returned after weeks of silence—I saw God’s fingerprints.
With every hope—in every prayer whispered through tears, in every night I chose to believe again—I saw God’s faithfulness.

This journey hasn’t been linear. Healing rarely is.
There were setbacks, victories, and there were days I felt like giving up.
And then there were days when I couldn’t help but praise—because of the progress, because of the peace, because God had carried us one more step forward.

With every joy, in every hope, God was there.
Not one moment missed, not one tear wasted, and Not one prayer unheard.

And maybe you’re in a hard season of your own—maybe your story doesn’t look like mine, but your heart still needs to know:
Joy is still possible. Hope is still alive.
Not because of the outcome, but because of Who walks with you.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Even When There Was No Reason for Hope

Even When There Was No Reason for Hope

There’s something about this verse that stops me in my tracks. Even when there was no reason for hope… Abraham kept hoping. Why? Because God had said. I was told there was no hope in my son living, however, Even When There Was No Reason for Hope.

This isn’t blind optimism. This isn’t wishful thinking. This is faith—the gritty, hold-on-tight, eyes-on-God kind of faith. The kind that says, “I believe You, Lord,” even when everything around says it’s impossible.

This verse became my anchor, my theme, when my son was diagnosed with Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome (OMS). In the face of uncertainty, fear, and countless questions, this Scripture reminded me to hold on—to keep hoping. Not because circumstances gave me a reason, but because God had spoken promises over my child’s life, and I clung to them with everything I had.

How often do we face situations that seem hopeless? A diagnosis. A broken relationship. A shattered dream. The temptation is to let go. To stop believing. To shrink our prayers.

But Abraham’s story reminds us: when God speaks a promise, we can stand on it. Even if we don’t see it. Even when time drags on. Even when our hope feels foolish. If God said it, that’s enough.

Maybe today you’re in a season where hope feels far away. Let Abraham’s faith encourage you. Keep hoping—not because circumstances make sense, but because your God is faithful.

What He says, He will do.
Even when there’s no reason for hope—keep hoping anyway.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Forgiveness is some of the hardest, holiest work we’ll ever do. It’s not about condoning what happened—it’s about choosing not to carry it anymore. Eventually, we will learn that Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart.

So many people come to therapy carrying anger they’ve never named, grief they’ve never expressed, or pain they’ve never given themselves permission to feel. Therapy helps you untangle that. It helps you name it, feel it, and finally, release it.

Forgiveness is a process. But the freedom it brings is worth the work.

We often think forgiveness is for the other person—but it’s also for us. Unforgiveness is heavy. It ties us to past hurt and holds our hearts hostage. Forgiveness, however, is a release. It doesn’t always mean reconciliation, but it does mean peace. In therapy, we explore how forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It takes grieving, boundaries, truth-telling, and, often, God’s help. He’s the one who softens hardened hearts and helps us do what feels impossible. Forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s strength fueled by grace.

Practical Tips:

  • Identify one person you need to forgive (maybe even yourself).

  • Write a letter expressing how you feel—whether or not you send it.

  • Set boundaries to protect yourself moving forward.

Faith Perspective:
Jesus modeled radical forgiveness. In Matthew 6, we’re reminded that as we forgive others, we receive freedom too. Forgiveness isn’t just for them—it’s for you.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Faith in the Wilderness: Trusting When You Can’t See the Way

Faith in the Wilderness: Trusting When You Can’t See the Way

Faith in the Wilderness: Trusting When You Can’t See the Way

Faith is easy when life makes sense. But when we’re in the wilderness—when everything feels confusing, heavy, or dark—faith becomes a choice. Here I talk about Faith in the Wilderness: Trusting When You Can’t See the Way.

I’ve walked through seasons where it felt like God was silent. I questioned everything, even Him. And yet, He never let go. Faith isn’t the absence of doubt—it’s trusting in spite of it. It’s choosing to believe when your feelings haven’t caught up.

Therapy offers a safe place to process spiritual doubts, disappointments, and even church hurt. There’s no shame in asking hard questions. Even Jesus cried out, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”

Practical Tips:

  • Journal your prayers honestly—even the hard ones.

  • If spiritual trauma is part of your story, find a therapist who honors your faith while helping you heal.

  • Practice breathing prayers, pairing deep breaths with Scripture verses.

Faith Perspective:
Isaiah 43:2 promises that “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” Not if—when. He doesn’t promise an easy road, but He promises His presence.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Inspiration of the Day Mark 5:36

circle of hope counseling services (6)

Faith Over Fear: Learning to Trust in God

The inspiration of the day is found in Mark 5:36, which says, “But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, ‘Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.'” Faith, according to Webster’s Dictionary, is defined as “belief and trust in and loyalty to God,” “firm belief in something for which there is no proof,” and “complete trust.”

Trust is something I’ve always struggled with—it’s no secret to those who know me well. There are reasons for that, but I am a constant work in progress, learning not only how to trust but who to trust. One thing I know for certain is that God is someone I can lean into fully, without hesitation or fear.

Do I always do that?

Nope. I sure don’t—not all the time. But I am learning. When challenges arise, I remind myself, The Lord is putting this in front of me, not to hurt me, but to give me an opportunity to trust in Him because He has my back. I will, quite literally, repeat this to myself until the issue is resolved or until I find peace. And you know what? It helps. It really does.

My hope and prayer for those reading this is that you can learn to release fear, have faith, and trust God completely. As His children, we are sealed and held securely in the right hand of Jesus. I imagine myself sitting in His palm, His hands clasped around me, and then His hand resting in the palm of God. Nothing can take me away from Him. We are safe. He has us, and He already has the perfect provision in mind for whatever we are facing.

So today, let’s choose faith over fear. Let’s trust the One who holds the universe—and us—in His hands.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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What Does Impossible Really Mean

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What Does Impossible Really Mean

I stumbled on this quote by the great actress Audrey Hepburn and it reminded me of Luke 1:37 that says “For nothing will be impossible with God.” As the word IMPOSSIBLE is broken down, she says it really say I’m Possible. However, we can do nothing without the salvation that only Jesus has provided for us.

Friends, He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on a cross for YOUR sins. If you were the only person, on Earth, God still would have sent His Son for YOU. He loves you so much that He wants you to answer that knock on your heart door, open it up, admit you are a sinner and that you need forgiveness and for Jesus to reign in your life.

Then, my friends, NOTHING is impossible. He makes it all possible. The sky is the limit and His gifts are freely given to you, as well as, His forgiveness for when we screw up. Even with Jesus in your heart, you will have bad days. You will struggle with mental health, you will be angry, you will sin and do stupid things. Here is the good news, all you have to do is repent and turn to Him and ask Him to forgive you and help you.

Grace. Mercy. Love. Forgiveness. This is what God freely gives us and asks that we give to others, though it can be super hard. Stay in the Word, find a church of like minded believers, pray so you can form that relationship with Him. It is so worth it. God is good all the time and all the time He is good. He will never leave you…not even for a minute.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Everything is Gonna be Okay

Everything is Gonna be Okay

everything is gonna be ok

Ya know, Everything is Gonna be Okay. Romans 8:26-28 (MSG) says “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

There are days when I don’t feel like everything is going to be okay. I feel like my life is going to implode and my actions will explode. I have to stop and tell myself that the Lord is not setting up, on his Heavenly throne, eating popcorn and biting His nails wondering what is going to happen next. He already knows. He sees it all. Knows it all and has a perfect provision in mind for ALL things. Trust. It’s hard but it is necessary in our walk with Christ. If I didn’t trust Him, I’d be running down the road, naked, screaming at the top of my lungs. (That last statement comes from my aka mom and she would tell us that when we were children.)

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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You Are Capable

You Are Capable

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You are capable of doing all things when Jesus is by your side. People often tell me that they do not know who they are anymore due to the amount of trauma that has occurred in their lives. It is my pleasure to tell them that they are not only capable of doing all the things they dream of, they were created to do these amazing things because the King of Kings has gifted them with amazing talents. God will take all the tests (trauma) of your life and allow it to be a TESTimony for Him.

This makes you capable of handling any and everything as long as He is on your side because it isn’t you doing the heavy lifting. You are being obedient and He is carrying the burden for you. Matthew 11:28-30: Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Adoption, Guest Blogger

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

 

Do you ever step back and take a look at where the Lord has had your journey? Reflection is an amazing reminder of our sanctification process. Sanctification….the word I view with both dread and anticipation. It is God’s plan of growing us into the likeness of Christ. Sounds lofty, but what does it require? Sanctification requires stretching. I am not a fan of being stretched, but the Lord has stretched me over the last several years in ways that I would never have asked, but in ways that I would never trade.

Memories

Recently I took a look at the blog I kept during our adoption processes. We have six children, three of whom joined our family through adoption. These three were older when they joined our family and all came home with memories of their life in their home countries.

During the adoption process, my blogs consisted of all the typical thoughts and anxieties that a mother exhibits while waiting for her precious child to be in her arms. Nothing ever happened on my timetable. What was the Lord thinking? Didn’t He know that our child needed to be home? Also, didn’t He sense our pain in the waiting? Wait, didn’t He part the Red Sea? Wasn’t He capable of blasting through the Red Tape? I feel anxious typing all of that right now! So, as I re-read my entries I ran across this note that typifies what I pray the Lord has taught me and continues to teach me in my walk with Him. We were on our way home with our newest son.

Previous Blog Post

This week we have watched God’s hand guide every aspect of our journey. Lots of travel troubles, UGH. Through it all, when I would feel anxiety welling up in my heart, I would hear Him asking me, Do you trust me? Also, do you really mean all the things you say to everyone else? Do you trust me to work out circumstances according to My plan, not yours? Finally, do you recognize that you are not in control? Over and over, I know that He was and is telling me that in good or bad I must choose to trust that this journey is HIS.

This journey of my life is the one that He has planned and intended. I still get very anxious, wanting to control situations and people, but honestly….deep within my soul, I do trust Him. I may not like the plan, but I trust that He has it ALL worked out. I’m on a plane right now on our last leg home from bringing home our son. We are surprising the other kids with an early flight home.

Soon we will be the eight of us. Our sweet boy is sleeping peacefully. He fully trusts us as his parents. We know where he is going and we know what is in store on the other end of this plane ride.  There was a plan to bring him home. Everywhere we’ve led him, he has willingly gone with a smile on his face, handheld out to take ours. Fully trusting. May I be the same with my Heavenly Father who has the plan?

Encouraging Words

As your family journeys along in life, I ask you to trust Him with the plan. Recognize that He sees the view from above the plane. The full view. You only see out of your little window. How we react to our journey will show the world that we trust HIM and love HIM more than we trust and love our plan. Ask yourself what you desire more…the child to be added to your family, your children to be whole, relief from difficulties, or is your desire for a relationship with the ONE who made both you and your child?

Lean Into Him

Marriage. Parenting. Adoption. Life.  Complex, beautiful, hard.  Embrace the hard as God’s provision for your sanctification.  Growth is never easy. Cling to Him.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “The Lord says: ‘My thoughts and my ways are not like yours. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, my thoughts and my ways are higher than yours.’ ”

 

Faith Journey

What I am and Why God Version

What I am and Why God Version

What I am and Why God Version

It is easy to accept and own a person’s free-will version of themselves. The bad stuff is always easier to believe. What is difficult for most people is the Truth, as believers, as to what the Lord says about us in His Word. So, after yesterday, here is the Truth about What I am and Why God Version.

I believe I am going to do these verses in the Message. That is not my favorite version, but it does say things in plain English, and you certainly don’t question the meaning. Other versions can be harder to understand (for me). Ben Malcolmson compiled this list.

Beloved

“met God out looking for them!” God told them, “I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!” Jeremiah 31:3

A Child of God

“What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it – we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.” 1 John 3:1

Delighted In

“Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

Forgiven

“He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing.” 1 Peter 2:24

Washed Clean

“Come. Sit down. Let’s argue this out.” This is God’s Message: “If your sins are blood-red, they’ll be snow-white. If they’re red like crimson, they’ll be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

Free

“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” Galatians 5:1

A Temple of the Holy Spirit

“Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.” 1 Corinthians 6:19

Adopted into God’s Family

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” Romans 8:15

Co-Heir with Christ

“And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us – an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!” Romans 8:17

Righteous

“How? you say. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21

New

“Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

A Saint

” A number of you know from experience what I’m talking about, for not so long ago, you were on that list. Since then, you’ve been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and our God present in us, the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:11

Set Apart

“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you -” 1 Peter 2:9

An Ambassador of Christ

“We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.” 2 Corinthians 5:20

A Co-Laborer

“What makes them worth doing is the God we are serving. You happen to be God’s field in which we are working.” 1 Corinthians 3:9

A Sweet Aroma

“Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation – an aroma redolent with life.” 2 Corinthians 2:15

Never Alone

“God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t let intimidation hold you back. Don’t worry.” Deuteronomy 31:8

A Masterpiece

“No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” Ephesians 2:10

Wonderfully Made

“thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking! I marvel at how wonderfully God made both my body and soul. I worship in adoration – what a creation!” Psalm 139:14

Bold

“With that kind of hope to excite us, nothing holds us back.” 2 Corinthians 3:12

Having Guaranteed Victory

“You protect me with salvation-armor; you hold me up with a firm hand, caress me with your gentle ways.” Psalm 18:35

Holding a Secure Future

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11

Whole in Christ

“When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything.” Colossians 2:10

 

Guest Blogger

Guest Blogger Jenny Clendenen

Guest Blogger Jenny Clendenen

Welcome to my Guest Blogger Jenny Clendenen. I’m so thankful to know her and to be her friend.

Being Tricked into Sinning

Has the devil ever tricked you into sinning, then condemned you afterward? Unfortunately, the devil is good at that. We must learn his tricks and resist him—so he will flee!

With God’s help, we can abstain from the passions of our flesh that wage war against our souls. You know what I’m talking about… the things we do or the times we don’t listen to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and we feel bad for going too far in our freedom after the fact.

God gives us lots of freedom, but we need to ensure we are not abusing that freedom. Think about the freedoms we have but may abuse—what we eat or drink, how we spend our time, what we do with our money, and how we use our giftings, talents, and calling.

Finding Balance in Freedom

So, how can we find a balance in our freedom and honor everyone in authority over us? How do we find the boundaries in our freedom? How about having the strength to abstain from going too far, having too much, or using our time and money wisely? Why should we not go past those boundaries and possibly choose to abstain altogether?

Scriptural Foundation

1 Peter 2:11-17 (ESV)

“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”

Read 1 Peter 2:11-17 (ESV)

1 Peter 2:11-17 (The Message Translation)

*”Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it.

Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul.

Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices.

Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.

Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God’s emissaries for keeping order.

It is God’s will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you’re a danger to society.

Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules.

Treat everyone you meet with dignity.

Love your spiritual family.

Revere God.

Respect the government.”*

Read 1 Peter 2:11-17 (MSG)

The Call to Live Honorably

1 Peter 2:11-17 reminds us that while we are free (from the Old Testament Law), we must not take our freedom too far. Our conduct should still honor everyone in authority over us.

Reflection: What Is God Speaking to You?

What are these verses speaking to you today? How is God calling you to exercise your freedom responsibly and with honor?

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father,

I pray You will bring conviction to our hearts if we need to change our attitudes and actions. Show me how I need to submit to the authority You have given me in my church, home, workplace, and government, so I reflect You.

I pray for those in authority over me. Bless them, and help me honor them. Let the honor and respect I show silence ignorant accusations against You. Help me represent You well and not abuse the freedoms You have given me.

Teach me the boundaries with what I eat or drink, how I spend my time and money, and how I use my talents, giftings, and calling. If I can’t stay within the specific boundaries You give me, show me if I need to abstain from certain freedoms so I don’t excuse Your freedom to do evil.

In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

LA Came in Like a Tornado

LA Came in Like a Tornado

Leigh Ann Came in Like a Tornado

Ten years ago, I met a brassy blond girl at a ballpark. She had a crass mouth and a nasty smoking habit. She was loud and obnoxious. A person people moved away from when they saw her. She did not dress the part, talk the part, and certainly did not behave the part of what society deems “normal.” 

Yet, I was drawn to her. I saw myself in her—the girl that no one wanted to be friends with, the outcast. I have a deep love for those who seem unlovable. I see through the facade of what someone presents. I see their heart—that deep desire to fit in, yet the complete inability to do so.

Seeing a Bit of Jesus in Her

In my mind, I can close my eyes and see all the bright dots of Jesus throughout her. I just knew when those dots connected; she would be an unstoppable force of nature for the Kingdom.

I fell in love with this girl, her children, her brother, and her parents. We were a tight-knit group of misfits. I was blessed to be able to lead her to Christ one spring day. After she accepted Christ, I gave her a hot pink Bible. It was her favorite color. She loved Jesus with all her heart.

Mental Illness

She also struggled with mental illness. Despite her love for Jesus, she had good days and bad days. What bonded us was that I, too, suffer from mental illness. I have clinical depression. She had onset bipolar disorder. 

One thing I want you all to hear is that you can still love Jesus without abandon and still struggle with different types of mental illness. That does not mean you love Him less than someone who does not struggle.

How Did She Change My World?

She taught me how to accept those who were not “normal.” Also, she taught me to walk towards the waves instead of away from them. Live life without fear of abandonment and to hell what people thought of you.

Did I change her world? I hope I did. She made me a better person, and I hope I had some effect on her. Her mom always said that I did. I sure do love her children and now grandchildren. We were good for each other, for the most part.

Does it Change the World to Stand in the Gap?

Yes, it does the world when you brush and braid a friend’s hair for the last time? Also, when you begin painting her nails and toenails her favorite color? Does it change the world to wipe the ants off of her body while you are bathing her? What about closing her eyes for the last time?

Yes, it does change the world. It changed for LA’s children, her mother, and her brother. It also changed me and it showed me what the phrase “be Jesus with skin on” really means. Sacrificial love and service for her and her family.

LA, you are loved, thought of, and missed daily.

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End the Stigma, Quotes

Get Your Fight Back

Get Your Fight Back

Get Your Fight Back is one of the first videos I saw on TikTok.  This, well, it gave me chills.  Every time I hear/read it, I have the same experience.  Sarah Jakes Robert amazingly delivered this sermon.

“Get Your Fight Back” by Sarah Jakes Robert

It is titled “Get your fight back.”

Girl, get your power back.

~Girl, start acting like you are a king’s daughter, and that there has always been a crown attached to your head.

Even when I was sick I was still His. Even when I was dead, I was still His.

Do you know who I am?

I am a child of the highest God.

He has kept me alive so that I can be a testimony to everyone attached to me.

Get Up: There is No Hold on You

Girl, you can get up again.

And Girl addiction can’t have you.

Girl divorce gotta let you go.

Get up girl, Girl get up, Girl get up, Girl get up, Girl get up again.

Girl Depression gotta let you go.

And Girl anxiety has to lose its hold.

I’m pleading for you to get up.

My daughter needs to see you get up.

And My sister needs to you get up.

Get up, Get up.

I gotta get up, I gotta get up again,  I gotta get up again.

Get Your Prophecy

God’s you just sent a word, And now I know I need to get up again.

Something died on the inside of me, but I feel my spirit coming back.

I feel my power coming back and my ideas.

And I feel these dry bones shaken and coming back to life.

I’m getting up, I’m getting up.

I’m getting in position.

And I’m tired of crying about it.

I’m tired of fighting about it.

So I’m getting in the position.

Girl, You gotta get up.

I’m getting up for my daughter, I’m getting up for my sister, I’m getting up for my kids, I don’t even have them yet, but I was getting up for them too.

And I’m getting up for my community and marriage.

Gotta get up, I gotta get up, I gotta get up, I gotta get up.

Jesus, you’ve been chasing me too long.

I’m here and I surrender.

I gotta get up, I gotta get up.

The bitterness you got to Let me go.

Death, You can’t have me.

I gotta get up.

Honestly, I gotta find my joy.

I’ve got to find my peace.

I Gotta find my spirit again.

My friend made me who I am, my spirit got me into this.

And My spirit is gonna get me out, My spirit is going to get me out of it.

I got my Spirit back.

God touch me, God overflow.

I need your spirit, I’m hungry for it, I’m desperate for it.

God help me up.

Who You Need to Let Know

Let Hell hear you.

And Let the Depression hear you.

Let the enemy know.

And Let death know.

Spirit

The spirit is coming back to me.

This spirit, what spirit?

The Holy Spirit, the Name that is above all Names.

Yes. When we call on that Name things happen.

That’s what I’m calling on.

What I need

Your Spirit.

Jesus, I need your power.

Your healing.

Get Who You Are Back

The King of kings.

Lord of lords.

You are the way maker.

My healer.

What I Call You

Excellent.

Wonderful.

Magnificent.

Jehovah Jairus.

Jehovah

What I Say

You can have control.

I surrender.

Make a way.

Nothing is off limits

I say God touch me as only you can do.

God give me power.

Help me forgive.

I say God Cleanse me from bitterness.

Sermon Video and Full Transcript of Sarah Jakes Robert

Girl Get Up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Happy Without You

The Pain of Losing a Friendship

Happy Without You

This young lady shares her feelings about losing a special friendship in Happy Without You. Friendships come and go like the ebbs and flows of the ocean. That is what I tell so many people because it puts in perspective that the things of this Earth are not forever. Yet, losing a friendship is so very hard. I always say you can either release them and enjoy the memories or hold onto them and be left with scars as Jesus rips them out of your hand.

 This story is written by a young lady who is experiencing the loss of her relationship with a friend. Her pain is evident, and this is her way of releasing those emotions healthily. I pray for peace and restoration for her and her friend. We always have to remember “but God.” He is the healer of all things in His time.

Happy Without You

 Happy Without You. Hey, you know that if you want to hang out with me, you can text me. I am not trying to make you think that I don’t give a shit about you. I would hate for you to feel that way. You know, you really should be careful of what you put out in this world. You could hurt someone. 

Hence the reason I have taken measures to prevent you from hurting me. And this is only one of many instances. I have to do this for my mental health. It was hard and hurtful to see and hear those things, these passive-aggressive, attention-seeking words that bore deep in my soul. 

My Offering and Your Response

I have offered to be friends, have fun, live our lives together, create things, and make things I knew you would like. And you decide to say some bullshit like that? And even if you didn’t mean it towards me, maybe it wasn’t your intent. Doesn’t matter. Still hurt. And sorry is not going to fix this. 

I am so sick and tired of your antics and your attention-seeking behavior. Do you even care about me? You haven’t once asked me how I have been. Not in all of this time. Not then and not now. Do you know how much that hurts? Honestly, do you know how badly I want someone I can trust? Do you know how badly I want to be your friend? 

Why Stop?

You quit texting me. Also, You stopped hanging out with me. You. Not me. This is your fault, not mine. It is all on you. You make things about yourself anyway, so why should this be any different? I feel unwelcome in your presence. Awkward is what I feel because I cannot trust you. I don’t know how to act around you. Honestly, I don’t know who you are anymore. And it is so hard that I can’t trust you anymore. 

My Reasons

So, do you want to know why I don’t make plans? Because every time I have tried, you find someone or something better for you to do. And that hurts. I would go above and beyond to make you feel welcome so you wouldn’t see my depression. So you wouldn’t have to see my anxiety. So you wouldn’t have to see my trauma. You don’t seem interested in hanging out with me. Do you ever try and point the finger at yourself? Or is it everyone else’s fault but yours? 

 

What Did I do?

 

What did I do to hurt you? Is this my fault after all? Everything is usually my fault; that comes from my trauma. But do you even care? No, you don’t bother to ask. I was there for you for everything. I helped you. I supported you. I loved you. And I got nothing in return. And I didn’t want anything. Because that is what true friendship is really like. Or have you forgotten? 

 

I don’t know who you are anymore, understand your thought process, and know why you have such disdain for me. Frankly, I don’t understand your words. I am hurt, and I can’t trust you. Trust is such a fickle thing for me. Once you break my trust, you are gone. And I gave you so many chances. But no more. I have tried and tried and tried some more to open myself up to you. 

 

What You Don’t Know

 

Do you know that I have been in trauma therapy for months? Do you know the horrors I have had to relive? Do you know how bad my depression has gotten? Do you know that I have panic attacks when I am triggered? Do you know that my anxiety is through the roof most of the time? No. BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE. You don’t care; otherwise, you would have said something. You would have asked. 

 

I want to be passive-aggressive back to you. I want to say something so passive-aggressive it makes your blood boil. So you could know what it feels like when you say something like what you did. But I am a bigger person. So I won’t do that. And that is ok. But I secretly want you to read this. I want you to know how badly you have hurt me. I want you to know how many hours I have cried over our friendship. I want you to know. 

 

I Have Always Loved You

 

But it is getting harder and harder to love you each day. I am heartbroken. It is your fault. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. You are one of the reasons why I don’t trust anyone. I trusted you, and you broke it. I felt betrayed and so alone. Do you know how badly I wanted to be your friend? Can you even fathom it? 

 

You are one of the Best People I Have Ever Known.

 

However, I don’t even recognize you anymore. It is not because I judge you. I never have and never will. I have done enough things that I am ashamed of, and I do not feel the need to judge every single person I meet. So if that’s why you hate me so much, get that thought out of your head. I have never judged you and never will. But you have changed. The person I thought cared about me doesn’t seem to exist anymore. 

 

Someone to Trust

 

I want someone to tell my story too. That is something I want. I desire that. But I can’t do that with you. You made sure of that. Trauma is a bitch. But I have been stuck in my little bubble for so long that it is hard for me to reach out. Because of the times, I have tried to reach out, I was judged and retreated into my bubble. And now, I am working through this messy middle of trauma therapy, which is not easy. Not that you care. Again, you never asked. 

 

So instead of blaming everyone else, why don’t you start blaming yourself? You pushed everyone away, the people closest to you. I was one of those people that you drove away. You are the definition of a guilt trip. You are such a triggering person. You gaslight people into thinking that it is their fault instead of yours. Your guilt and manipulation to get your way. In a way, I am better off without you. 

 

Without You

 

Without you, I would have survived my trauma. I got married without you. Without you, I got myself into treatment. I was blessed with the best gift anyone could ask for without you. It’s currently kicking inside of me now. Without you, I would have survived my suicidal ideations. I got myself medicated without you. Without you, I got my life back on track. I got closer to Jesus without you. All of these things I did without you. 

 

And you know what? I am a freaking fantastic person. And you are missing out. So peace, love, and Spock signal. I hope you are happy. Because I sure am. Happy without you. 

 

Faith Journey

Power of Intentional Forgiveness

Power of Intentional Forgiveness

Power of Intentional Forgiveness

The Power of Intentional Forgiveness is something that is not lost on me. Forgive is a verb or an action. You are actively doing something. It means to grant a pardon for or absolve something; to cease to feel resentment against (as in an enemy). I love the beauty of forgiveness.

Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that we are somehow giving permission for another person to hurt us or excuse the choices of another towards us. It is, however, a release for us. We are releasing that pain and memory so satan can no longer use that against us.

God is Clear

That He is the ultimate Judge and Jury. He states in Exodus 14:14, “the Lord will fight your battles; you simply need to be silent.” Thankfully, He knows what is ahead of us and already has the PERFECT provision in mind for every situation. We just need to stop, be quiet, and get out of the way.

For Me

I am pretty quick to forgive but not quick to forget. That is a fault of mine. It is hard to just shut that infraction out of my mind. Well, I guess it depends on the situation. It is like the sting of the pain is gone, but the scar remains. So, in satan’s proper form, he presses on that scar and picks at it. What a vicious cycle.

The Hiding Place

As I was reading this book, it was SO impressed me with the power of love and forgiveness. Seeing the person that hurt me with a different set of eyes. With the eyes of Christ.

I have been talking with a friend, and we have worked through this concept a lot lately. The end of this inspiring story of Corrie ten Boom struck me so much that I took a screenshot of it and sent it to her.

Preface to a Section of the Book

Let me preface this quote by giving some context. Corrie and her family were turned in to the Gestapo for hiding the Jews and helping them. They had served in several different and horrific concentration camps. They lost their father, nephew, and many friends to these camps.

At this moment in the story, they discovered who it was that turned them in. Corrie is wrought with anger for this person. She is beyond hurt, mad (understandably) at how a “friend” could harm their family in such a way.

This is the conversation between an angry Corrie and her sister Betsie.

Corrie: Betsie, don’t you feel anything about Jan Vogel? Doesn’t it bother you?

Betsie: Oh yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew – and pray for him whenever his name comes into my mind. How dreadfully he must be suffering!

*****Excuse me, people, but what freaking kind of angel is Betsie to “feel for” and “pray” for this man who caused SO much death, destruction, and pain. Yes, I yelled that while I was reading.*****

Corrie’s Thought Process After this Conversation

“For a long time, I lay silent in the huge shadowy barracks restless with the sighs, snores, and stirrings of hundreds of women. Once again I had the feeling that this sister with whom I had spent all my life belonged someone to another order of beings. Wasn’t she telling me in her gentle way that I was as guilty as Jan Vogel? Didn’t he and I stand together before an all-seeing God convicted of the same sin of murder? For I had murdered him with my heart and with my tongue.”

Emphasis Added Was Mine

For real. To put Corrie ten Boom, who sacrificed her family and her life to save others, in the same category as Jan Vogel… a man who killed several humans out of devotion to Hitler and the cause, is insane.

Insane.

Then, that sentence that I bolded. God does not distinguish between sin. Sin is black and win. You either sin (gluttony, lying, adultery, homosexuality, murder (the physical kind), murder (spewing hate in your heart), stealing, the list can go on and on), or you don’t sin. We are human; we sin. We needed a Savior to die on the cross to save us from our sins.

She despised this man, and this man killed and tortured many. In God’s eyes… the boy sinned. Let that sink in for about 3 minutes. I need a swig of coke. She killed with her tongue and heart. He killed and tortured with his hands. Yet, both were created in His image. Both are loved by God. Finally, both sinned in the eyes of God.

I’m having a hard time with this. Can you tell?

Her Prayer

“Lord Jesus, I forgive Jan Vogel as I pray that You will forgive me. I have done him great damage. Bless him now and his family.” That night for the first time since her betrayer had a name, I slept deep and dreamlessly until the whistle summoned us to roll call.”

For. Real. People. Absorb that prayer. Adapt it to add the names of the people who have hurt you.

Friends who abandoned you in your greatest time without a word. These same friends make you question everything you could have done wrong, and you are eaten up with pain and confusion. God is NOT the author of confusion. Let that crap go. Forgive!

People who rip your children out of your arms claim you are an unfit parent because they are jealous and want these precious beings for themselves. Hateful humans wish to remove children just because they feel like it, with no regard for what is right and wrong. Forgive.

So Many More Scenarios

Pastors who you trusted hurt you and your family. Accusations are thrown around like confetti. Allowances of idle gossip within the church to try and accuse you of being an awful parent to kids from hard places. Pastors refusing to help others, accusing you of affairs, chastising you in dark stairwells because you are trying to protect your children. Pastors blamed a child for someone who preyed on them and molested them. You are asked to leave, yet the accuser stays, and he is free. Forgive.

Men who claim to love Jesus and the law who underhandedly try and destroy your family. They do so while still talking about their love for Christ and family. They lose no sleep. Let me tell you…what man meant for evil, God meant for good. Forgive

A family who disowns you for falling in love. Co-workers treat you like crap to your bosses but never to your face because there is no basis for the hate they spew. Forgive.

Oh, this woman goes on!

Am I speaking my pain? Are those deep dark chambers of my heart being unlocked? Let me tell you. I have a situation right now that I have buried so deeply for over a decade. It is completely fine, tucked away in the back corner of the attic.

Guess what?

God has a sense of humor. In being content with my pain being hidden away, He decides (cause He is a funny God) that He is gonna bring it back up. Just like vomit. What this man did was atrocious and unforgivable by my standards.

Yet, there is God. Only God can orchestrate what is happening. I have played out every scenario of meeting this human and everything I can say. Honestly, I want to make him feel like shit on the bottom of my shoe. No lie.

But God

Clearly, He sees that I can’t move forward until I move past this. Again, forgiveness is not about giving permission for that person to do what that person did. It is about releasing Satan’s control over it in my heart.

I know that.

Now, He has aligned the stars to where it is time for me to face one of my deepest hurts. It is like a train coming down the tracks. I see it. Yet, I don’t need the ticket right now. This train is going to run over my family and me.

God is my Protector, Defender, Shield, and Stronghold. May He be my words. I pray I can see through the past pain to see the hurt this man must have gone through and is going through. May I show Him the love of Christ.

Right now, my flesh wants to bring down a world of pain. Yet Christ died for him. Forgave Him. What more does He need to give?

It is time.

 

Guest Blogger, Medical

Callie and Her Journey with Lyme

Callie and Her Journey with LymeCallie and Her Journey with Lyme

Meet and read about Callie and Her Journey with Lyme. I met her parents before she was ever a speck in their eyes. Our families were neighbors. Her mom, Lesley, and I were pregnant at the same time with the girls 🙂 It was lovely! Callie was born a couple of weeks before my daughter, V. We raised our big girls together. It has been a blessing to know this family for over 20 years. Please read the story that spurred my desire to have this Lyme Disease Series. 

I’m so proud of this young lady; her testimony is one that only God could orchestrate! If you have ANY questions, please feel free to email me at barefootfaithjourney@gmail.com, and I will personally put you in touch with Lesley, and she can share the details of how God chose an unconventional method to heal this sweet beauty of a crapola disease!

There’s No Suffering Without Glory

Callie Emerson

I’m sure if you’ve been keeping up with the Lyme series on Brandi’s blog up to this point, you know quite a bit of my story and a significant amount of information about Chronic Lyme Disease. So while my blog post is based on Lyme awareness and my battle with the disease, I’m hoping that the more incredible message will come across is that no suffering occurs in vain when it is for the glory of God.

Before I delve into all of the medical mess, I want to give a little background information to those reading this. I grew up in a Christian home, and at age seven, I knew that the Father dearly loved me, that I loved Him in return, and that I desperately wanted Jesus to rid me of my sin debt so I could spend my eternity with Him. I want to be clear that I came to know Jesus as my Savior long before I had any medical issues.

My journey with Chronic Lyme Disease

It began in sixth grade when I started to faint at completely random times. I eventually reached the point where I was fainting roughly ten times a day. My symptoms only continued to increase from there. At age 13, my knee pain was so severe that I received steroid shots in both knees and yes, shots in the knee are as awful as they sound.

As I proceeded into eighth grade, my back, shoulder, and neck pain began to develop. By the end of my eighth-grade year, my pain was so severe that I was physically incapable of opening my bottom locker. I relied on others to open my locker for me.

This following symptom, for me, is the hardest one to reflect upon. I began to experience what I now know to be “Lyme rage.” During this time, I was so unkind to my family and even to a couple of close friends. There is no exaggeration when I say that one of my family members could look at me, and I would begin to feel angry. My life was lived in a state of unjustified, uncontrollable anger.

Worst Part

The worst part is that I could feel myself getting angry, so I would try to assess why I was so mad, and even after I couldn’t find a single reason, I found myself unable to stop the anger from welling up inside of me. My family is a fantastic group of people for not only dealing with me during this time but continually showing me grace and love.

At this point, I was angry, sore, and dizzy. I continued, and my symptoms grew worse, and I continued to be given misdiagnoses and pills. Luckily I have an awesome mom who went above and beyond for four years, ignoring ten misinformed doctors to find the only Chronic Lyme Disease expert in the area. We saw this doctor sometime around my sophomore year of high school. I’m not sure if anyone picked up on this idea from my mom’s post, but

GOD’S TIMING IS PERFECT

Right before we discovered this doctor, I went to church camp. While I know, it’s super cheesy, going to camp allowed me a much-needed break from distractions and to learn what it meant to be a Christian. You probably think that you haven’t heard much about my walk with Christ until now, and you’re right. That’s because, at age seven, most of us aren’t dwelling in sin that requires us to make an extreme life change. I made no changes as the years passed, and my spiritual growth was stagnant.

Fortunately, attending camp allowed the Spirit to convict me while I wasn’t distracted by soccer, school, or being sick. I became aware that I behaved well and made good choices because I have strict parents, and that’s how they raised me to act, not because I was trying to live a life worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27).

My eyes were opened to what being a Christian entailed, and believing that He had a plan for my illness. Until then, when I asked, I would half-heartedly respond that God had a plan for it. After learning what it meant to follow and pursue Christ, I could finally fully grasp the concept that I was enduring this trial for a purpose.

God had a Plan for Me.

God blessed me by allowing me to understand that He had a plan for this illness right before I entered the most challenging time in my life. I can never communicate how gracious He is for doing so, enabling me to rely on Him wholly during this time. My physical difficulties began when I started taking some powerful oral antibiotics to fight off the Lyme. I reached the point where I was taking roughly 15 pills a day.

During Lyme treatment with antibiotics, your body can respond in weird ways, and often you have to go through phases of feeling worse before you can feel any better. I would wake up for school in the morning and be unable to sit up. I’m not exaggerating when I say I couldn’t move. There would be days that I would make it to school, but I would be sitting at my desk, and I would be in so much pain that I would be on the verge of tears or would be unable to hold my head up without using my hands because of how badly my neck hurt.

Because of how many pills I was taking and how potent the drugs were, I struggled to keep anything down. I threw up almost daily-which defeated the purpose of taking the medications. Because I couldn’t keep all the tablets down, my doctor decided to pursue a different route.

PICC Line Life

At this point in my life, I got two PICC lines. PICC lines are inserted into your arm and run through your vein, all the way to your heart. PICC lines allow IV medicine to be dropped directly into your heart. The PICC line is used because it can reach your entire body much faster. As much fun as this sounds, the whole process can become twice as great as my body begins responding to the medicine.

Random parts of my body would go numb, as much as one entire side of my body would lose all feeling. I would also start shaking uncontrollably. At this point, Lyme’s rage was taken over by random crying. I am completely serious when I say that I would be bawling, but telling my parents that I wasn’t sure why I was crying.

While switching to IV antibiotics prevented me from throwing up medicine, the antibiotics were still so strong that I continued to get sick regularly. During the rough times, I typically ran a fever of 103°F. The physical turmoil the antibiotics put me through left me overly weak. I had to sleep on an air mattress in our living room because it was too difficult for me to walk from my room to the bathroom. My mom even had to sleep next to me on the couch because it was unsafe for me to be left alone all night. Because of this, I missed 50 days of school from August to December of my senior year.

Patterns with My Body’s Response

During this time, we noticed a pattern in my body’s response to antibiotics. After about two weeks, I would become allergic and need to switch medicines. These allergies happened with roughly five different medications. Eventually, I ran out of possible drugs to use to treat Lyme. While contemplating our PICC line options, my PICC line got clogged.

For PICC line users, clogs, infections, and blood clots will force you to remove your line…so at the time, this clog was a big deal. We were able to go to the ER and have it unclogged. In hindsight, the clog was likely God’s kind way of telling me to take it out.

So naturally, my perception skills were not up to par, and I missed this, even after five failed medications and a clog. The night I got my PICC line unclogged, I got a blood clot. That blood clot sent me to the hospital for a week. The PICC line was removed. My mom and I had no idea what type of treatment to pursue next. We felt as if we had exhausted all of our options.

After a Lot of Prayers

God led us to a small homeopathic clinic. This clinic is about 12 hours away from our home in western Kentucky. I will not delve into the details of the treatment that I received. You can obtain that information by contacting my mom if you are interested. I will tell you that after only three days, I felt better than I had in years. Total healing continues for several years after the initial treatment. Two years later, I am still continually improving and adjusting to life as a healthy college student.

Reasonably often, well-meaning friends will ask about my experience with Lyme and say, “Oh my goodness, that’s terrible! I bet you wish you had found that homeopathic clinic sooner.” Or, “I bet you wish you could erase that from your past.” My answer is always no. I don’t answer this way because I am trying to get attention. There is no desire to appear more “religious.” I answer the way I do because I would be vastly different without this season in my life.

This Time of Suffering and Trial

This time of suffering and trial made it clear that God was directing me toward a specific profession. This profession will continue to carry out His will. How many 18-year-olds confidently say they know what job they want to pursue? I cannot stress enough how pivotal this illness has played in my life. It did this by shaping me into who I am today. More importantly, it has firmly rooted my relationship with Jesus.

I’ve thought about my walk with Christ without those six years. Every time I feel the same thing: thank goodness I was sick. God was able to use something so dark in this illness to shed light on my life. He used Lyme Disease to draw me near to Himself.

While I was awakened to the profession, I needed to pursue it to bring Him glory. My time of sickness allowed me to see how I could use this experience. This experience can be used to glorify Him and bring healing to others. All this can be done before I’ve attended graduate school. These are the reasons why I agreed to write this for Brandi’s blog.

God has used my mom and me to share healing personally. We have also been able to share the gospel with over 300 people. Countries include the US, Canada, and Norway. I want you to come away from this post with new knowledge about Chronic Lyme Disease. Hardships you encounter can be used to bring God glory. It can also reveal a purpose for your life that is far beyond what you could have ever conceived.

Guest Blogger, Medical

Welcome My Newest Guest Blogger Lesley

Welcome My Newest Guest Blogger Lesley

Welcome, My Newest Guest Blogger Lesley. Les and I have been friends for an eternity. We met moons ago in church, then moved into her neighborhood and became her neighbor. We were pregnant with our oldest girls together. Those sweet girls are now 20! A story of a mama who didn’t give up on her girl or God. I’m excited to be a platform for her and their powerful message! Maybe, just maybe, I can get Callie to write her story out, too. We shall see! Just watch what FAITH and DETERMINATION can do!

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So faith comes from hearing and hearing through the word of Christ. Romans 10:17

I remember hearing God speak to me, through my prayer time, about my daughter. I was so very guilty of half-heartedly praying for each of my children. For my children, prayers are for protection and to grow in grace. These are all the things a “good Christian Mom” begs. I did this each day for my children. Like us all, I was going through the motions. Thankfully, God is who He is and still chose that time to speak to ole ½ effort me.

For a solid month, I was able to pray for both my boys. Amazingly enough, when I would begin to pray for my daughter, Callie, God would speak over me. I know many looks for ways that God is speaking to us. Believe me; I would rather have the less direct approach. My Father knows me well, though. He intended for me to listen. As I struggled to pray daily for Callie, He would speak over me and say, “Heal her.”

Hearing His Voice Clearly

Those were His only words. They told me we, as a family, would face a season. Also, He would, in the end, heal her. Honestly, this wasn’t the first time I audibly heard His voice. I didn’t doubt those words were His. However, I did wonder how He could be so confused. Honestly, Callie was a healthy 12-year-old.

She had never been sick. Seriously, even as a small child. She played soccer to the point that I was exhausted just driving her around. There were many different teams and commitments. Nonetheless, His words were clear. So, I stood tearfully in front of my husband, Erik. I told him to prepare that God had told me Callie was sick.

Two weeks later, her first symptom began.

Callie began fainting in her first year of middle school. Seriously, as if that year isn’t awkward enough. She fainted up to ten times each day. We felt pretty confident in the initial diagnosis. A cardiologist diagnosed her at Kosair’s Children’s Hospital. He said his daughter had the same issue. That during stressful times, she would faint. He even said to expect her to faint on her wedding day. There was nothing to do but continue with life.

He claimed it was a dip in blood pressure. This was because Callie was an athlete. Her BP was already low, so it didn’t have far to drop. He’s a pediatric cardiologist, and his daughter also has this. He knows and has certainly checked this all out, right? A pediatric neurologist at Vanderbilt and a host of other doctors agreed with his diagnosis. So we went on with life with the occasional flops onto the floor.

Every season there is a new symptom of Lyme disease

Each year Callie added a new sign and became sicker. In 7th grade, she began having knee trouble. She couldn’t bend to open her locker. Thankfully, all her sweet friends did that for her. Multiple trips to her orthopedic doctor and several knee steroid shots didn’t find a solution.

She played soccer with two knee braces. Also, she fainted while on the field. We left the area with ice packs all over her legs. She was the definition of a total mess! Fortunately, fainting on the field to many just looked like the most awkward trip in the world. Anyone that knows Callie knows she is fully capable of the most uncomfortable travel in the world. So it was very believable.

Feelings of Judgment

We often felt judged by other parents for allowing her to continue to play. Still, we knew mentally we could not take that from her, and now in hindsight staying physically active was what likely saved her and kept her from becoming bedridden.

Before leaving middle school, she added extreme fatigue to the daily list of things affecting her. I would pick her up from school, and she would fall asleep in the car before we could even pull out of the parking lot. Her moods confused us because her nature is typically very kind and grace-filled. Often she would get furious over minor things and look embarrassed at herself for acting so over the top. We wrote it off as teenage girl hormones, but it was Lyme rage.

Getting Sicker

Sadly, there were more doctors, tests, and no answers as to why she continued getting sicker. All her blood work for every test came back perfect, and each doctor would say, wow, she’s too young and healthy to have so many diseases, but they offered no answers, only pills, and more pills. I remember at 14 from one doctor, and she was given medicines for pain, muscle cramps, and sleeping aids, none of which we chose to fill. We were not going down that path.

Homeopathic

I knew a more natural approach had to be our route. Still, I honestly didn’t trust natural doctors or natural medicine, and I certainly did not have much faith in my ability to decide if they were legit or crazy. Looking back now, I think my prayer was ½ hearted because I thought what I was asking for didn’t exist. I asked God to send us an MD that was also a homeopathic doctor. That couldn’t exist. They are so different in their approach that there can’t possibly be a doctor who is both. Oh, yea (Lesley) of little faith!

Two weeks after I began my prayer, a sweet friend from high school made a Facebook post about her new job. I clicked on her link to see where she’d be working, and it was in the office of an MD that was also a homeopathic doc! God, you are so good!

He is Relentless

God also began relentlessly placing the word Lyme in front of my face. I sat up many nights reading as I had for the first four years, trying to find anything we could be overlooking to help Callie. As I read, all things pointed to Lyme disease. At this point, she had three negative Lyme tests on her records. How on earth could it be Lyme? I don’t remember her being bitten. She was never sick. It couldn’t be Lyme. 

Truly the hand of God

Not only did God send via Facebook of all ways a doctor I could trust because he had a familiar to me traditional medical approach, but he also happened to be the one Lyme literate MD in our area! There was only a handful of them, but we had one nearby, and he was the very doctor I had asked God to help me find. God’s provision was beyond what I knew to ask for in prayer!

At 16, Callie was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme disease, just what God had been revealing to me and preparing us for weeks.

Two years in the desert 

Jesus often taught through examples, and the best tool is a non-example. My Mom’s heart hurts when I think about Callie’s two years of treatments (from 16-18) because now I know it is an example of how not to treat Lyme. I am not sure I could have done what she did. That tenacious spirit almost killed us when she was a preschool kid drove her through this time. I never once heard her ask, “why me?”

So Much Pain

From 16-18, we aggressively treated Callie’s Lyme disease with high doses of antibiotics. She took 14 pills daily, fought to keep them and any food she could manage to get in, and continued to do everything asked. Many days she could not get out of bed at all. Her body would go numb, or the pain would be too much. Sometimes she would have to leave school because her neck and back pain had become unbearable. Insomnia was also a big issue, or as Callie called it, Lymsomia. Many days she wouldn’t fall asleep until 3 or 4 am, and then we would drag her out for school because if she could move, she had to go.

Support System

Her teachers were beyond gracious, and the school system could have easily made her go on homebound, but she took all advanced/AP courses, so we felt if she could get one day in class per week, then that was better than having to self-teach herself all of the material. She barely attended high school, yet she kept all A’s and pushed herself with the promise that God would heal her and the hope that she would be a college soccer player driving her.

One of the biggest hurdles to get through with this treatment was to keep all the pills down. Callie felt nauseated 24/7 and threw up every single day. Many days she only ate popsicles because that was all she could keep down. Because this was an issue, Callie had to get two IV PICC lines to receive her doses of antibiotics. So around the clock, she got up, flushed her lines, and started her IV medications every six hours.

Trudging Through

I am still not sure how she did this using only one hand, but that is her spirit in a nutshell. The medications were much harsher this way and often caused horrible side effects. Eventually, one by one, her body rejected each of these meds until we reached the point that all antibiotics that could kill Lyme bacteria were now not an option because her body had rejected them all.

Deepest of Valleys

I’ve never felt the valley so profoundly. I tried my best to keep a positive spirit around Callie. I often encouraged her that God told me he would heal her. Sadly, deep down, I am human. I was full of fear she could not be cured. I knew the one source of fear, but it swallowed me. I had become her doctor and researcher over the past six years, and I thought I had to find the solution. Too many I’s in my sentence. Right!

Sometimes being faithful means going through the motions, and you must step forward in faith even when you are overcome by fear and doubt. God’s plan is always better for us than our own, and Callie and God were about to remind me that!

God’s plan revealed

Lymies clump together. Clump together to compare notes on meds, things that are working, or what on their body has gone south since the last time we saw each other. When you see another Lymie out, you are just drawn to them for a hug because you are the only people that understand just how hard it is to be that sick.

During one particular Lymie clump in Kroger, a friend we had been able to help get appropriately diagnosed shared a different type of treatment with us. It was new to us and sounded completely crazy, but what did we have to lose? We went for it! After four years of misdiagnosis and two years of harsh treatments in three days, Callie’s Lyme was gone. The Lyme was not just a little gone but GONE! This is how God has planned to heal her!

Why so long?

It is easy to wonder why God didn’t put this treatment in our path years ago. Like Kevin Bacon’s six degrees, this answer was only one degree away! The person who had successfully had this treatment lived in my hometown of Benton and was my gym teacher growing up and friends with my Mom! I’m not even sure she counts as a full degree away from us.

God’s Timing

God’s examples are sometimes non-examples, so we can share what not to do. We can share a bad experience and use it as a teachable moment for others we help along the way. God’s timing is often so we can grow and see his full majesty in the process. His glory is often better when it is revealed slowly, and we can fully appreciate God’s awesomeness.

God’s timing is so that we may be polished. Before this season, Callie was the shyest and most backward kiddo. She was a happy girl if she could go a day with no attention. This fire has transformed her to be a bold servant of God. She still doesn’t want you to look at her much, but she boldly serves even where it’s not comfortable or cool.

God’s word is true. When he speaks, what he has told us in his word is all true. There is no maybe with God. Rest in Him in the valley and wait on him.

The Bad Guys

I try hard not to come across as the crazy conspiracy lady. I do-haha! I do so for myself and those we try to help. If I sit and think about how long Callie suffered and unnecessary it is, I can turn into a crazed Momma bear. But, Momma bear mode doesn’t accomplish anything and turns my spirit into something less than what God wants me to be, which affects my witness and my ability to help others.

Bottom Line

The bottom line is the American Medical Association, and the CDC are both working against us. They continue to approve the wrong test for Lyme which, unless a tick bit you yesterday, will come back negative, and even then, it throws a false negative 50% of the time. Our doctors are not told about the Western Blot test through Igenex labs, which isn’t flawless, but it is the best we currently have. Some labs have even started calling their test the Western Blot test, which must be illegal. I’m not a lawyer, but I may have to make that my next research project-ha!

AMA

The AMA will not allow doctors to treat patients on long-term antibiotics beyond a month for Lyme disease. OHHHHH, but you can be on antibiotics for years to treat acne, so that makes perfect sense! Doctors’ hands are tied. They cannot risk their license to treat it, so why test properly? Lyme docs are watched closely by the AMA and even their fellow doctors and live knowing they are at risk. If you don’t believe me check out a Lyme page on Facebook. No one will say the name of their doctors. They are protecting them.

Proper Diagnosis

Because the AMA will not allow treatment beyond 30 days, insurance will only pay for 30 days, so many Lymies cannot afford their meds. At one point, we were paying $700 per week out of pocket because our insurance wouldn’t pay for treatment. Sadly many Lyme patients eventually run out of money, are too sick to work, and die from Lyme. Everything works against you to get properly diagnosed, and you must take it into your own hands. Don’t be afraid. You can do it!

Where We Are Now

Callie is now a healthy and active 20-year-old enjoying college, and yes, she did reach that dream of attaining a scholarship to play college soccer. Her favorite verse to share when she speaks of this season in her life is 1 Peter 4:13.

But rejoice since you participate in the sufferings of Christ so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Faith Journey

Praying for our Children

Praying for our Children

Praying for Our Children

Take this month for your children. This month, we will be Praying for our Children. It is so needed in this day and age. Kids are bombarded by so much more than I did when I was a child. The closer we get to the Lord returning, the more trials they encounter.

Week 1

1 SALVATION

Lord, I pray that my children obtain salvation in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

2 Timothy 2:10

2 GOD’S GRACE

I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 3:18

3 LOVE

Father, grant that my children would learn to live a life of love through the Spirit who lives in them.

Ephesians 5:2

4 INTEGRITY

Lord, may integrity and uprightness protect my children because their hope is in you.

Psalm 25:21

5 SELF-CONTROL

Father, help my children not be like many others but to be alert and self-controlled in all they do.

1 Thessalonians 5:6

6 LOVE FOR GOD’S WORD

Lord, may my children regard your Word as more precious than gold and sweeter than honey.

Psalm 19:10

7 JUSTICE

God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do.

Psalm 11:7 & Micah 6:8

Week 2

8 MERCY

Oh Father, grant that my children would be full of mercy and compassion as you are Lord.

James 5:11

9 RESPECT

Lord, help my children to show proper respect to everyone, as Your Word commands.

1 Peter 2:17

10 SELF-ESTEEM

God, help my children develop strong self-esteem rooted in the realization that they are Your workmanship.

Ephesians 2:10

11 FAITHFULNESS

Let faithfulness never leave my children, but bind this virtue around their necks.

Proverbs 3:3

12 COURAGE

Lord, may my children always be strong and courageous in their character and their actions.

Deuteronomy 31:6

13 PURITY

Create in my children pure hearts, O God, and let that purity of heart be shown in their lives.

Psalm 51:10

14 KINDNESS

Father, I pray that my children will be kind to everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:15

Week 3

15 GENEROSITY

Lord, I pray my children would be rich in good deeds, generous, and willing to share.

1 Timothy 6:18

16 PEACE-LOVING

Father God, help my children make every effort to do what leads to peace.

Romans 14:19

17 JOY

Heavenly Father, grant that my children would be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 1:6

18 PERSEVERANCE

Lord, teach my children to persevere in all they do and help them run the race set before them with perseverance.

Hebrews 12:1

19 HUMILITY

God, please cultivate my children’s ability to show true humility toward all.

Titus 3:2

20 COMPASSION

Holy Father, I pray that You would clothe my children with the virtue of compassion.

Colossians 3:12

21 RESPONSIBILITY

Lord grant my children to learn to be responsible, for each one should carry his load.

Galatians 6:5

Week 4

22 CONTENTMENT

Father, teach my children the secret of being content in every situation, through Him who gives them strength.

Philippians 4:12-13

23 FAITH

Lord, help my children fight the good fight of faith, taking hold of the eternal life they were called to.

1 Timothy 6:12

24 A SERVANT’S HEART

God, help my children develop servants’ hearts so they may serve wholeheartedly.

Ephesians 6:7

25 HOPE

God of hope, grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

26 PATIENCE

God, strengthen my children with all power so they may have great endurance and patience.

Galatians 5:22

27 PASSION FOR THE LORD

Lord, I pray my children’s souls would pant for you as the deer pants for streams of water.

Psalm 42:1

28 WISDOM

Father, I pray my children would ask and that you would generously give wisdom to them as you promise.

James 1:5

29 PRAYERFULNESS

I ask that my children be committed to prayer and not faint, lose heart or give up.

Luke 18:1

30 GRATITUDE

Lord, help my children live lives overflowing with thankfulness, always giving thanks to You.

Ephesians 5:20

31 BOLDNESS

I pray that my children would fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel of Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 6:19