Tag: perspective

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

Happiness Versus Joy

Brandi C

Happiness Versus Joy

Happiness versus joy. Is it perspective or something more? What is happiness? A wise man once said that happiness is based on circumstances, and circumstances can ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean. What is joy? JOY comes from the Lord. That phrase has stuck with me many years later.

We are not called to always be happy, are we? We are called to be a City on a Hill and Salt and Light. If God opens a door, no one can shut it. Sometimes, we try to force a door open, and because of free will, He lets us slide in—only for us to deal with the consequences of not being on His path. This can be painful, but on the flip side, it can refine us, teach us, and equip us to teach others.

When He closes a door, it is for a reason—not to harm us, but to prosper us. Often, if a door is shut, there is a window open. Instead of focusing on what you think you have lost, shift your perspective to the possibilities ahead. I promise you, God’s gifts are so much better than anything we could ever imagine.

For those that might not be familiar with Helen Keller, here is some information for you!

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Faith in Hard Places. Healing in Real Life.

The TikTok I Didn’t Know I Needed

Brandi C

The TikTok I Didn’t Know I Needed

The TikTok I Didn't Know I Needed

The TikTok I Didn’t Know I Needed after a bad couple of weeks. I was aimlessly scrolling today and this caught my attention. Now, I have not watched all this person’s content, nor will I (probably) but this one struck a chord in me. There is music and captions that contains some coarse language, but if you overlook that, you will get the idea of his message.

This is a positivity account, from what I have gathered. Self-love, letting go of the negative, self-care, knowing your worth, etc. It is a message that people need to hear and adapt to their lives. You know, life doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it. There is so much that I “own” that isn’t mine to own.

I allow guilt and the things that people say to me impact me way too much. Honestly, I don’t view myself through the lens of what Jesus says about me. I view myself through the lens of others and what they say about me. Some of these people know me but a lot of them don’t.

Motto of Sorts

I say, a lot, that if someone has not had their feet under my table, they don’t have an opinion. However, even when they have had their feet under my table, they still don’t truly know. For instance, with the illness of one of my children…there have been people (family) that has been with me every step of this battle with my child. However, they still don’t really get it because they don’t live it 24/7. They see what I want them to see. Does that even make sense? Honestly, even my husband doesn’t know it all because he had to stay home and take care of business here.

Adoption and Trauma

It’s the same with adoption trauma or any trauma for that matter. I get so tired of hearing what a saint we are for taking in kids. No. Just no. We are not saints and we are not perfect parents. If I shared with you half of what our journey comprised of it would curl your toenails. It was a choice that we made to live out the gospel how we were called to live it out. Not perfect, but obedient. It has been hard. Honestly, it is still hard.

Geez, I have a lot to say on that but right now my head is not in the right space to do so.

LukeMindPower

That is the handle of this guy. I am sure he is on multiple platforms, but this is the one that I have seen. I have said, most of the week, that it has been really bad around here. The last two weeks have been rough. This is the caption of what he said (again, pardon the language).

“You are powerful and you’re seeing this for a reason! The devil wouldn’t be attacking u so hard if there wasn’t something valuable in you… Thieves don’t break into an empty house. You’re only stressin’ cause ur not giving up! A weak mf would’ve folded. Keep going.”

I am valuable. Worthy. Loved and a child of the King.

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Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Brandi C

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

 

Here is some Perspective from Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.  This is what to do when you overreact and have regret.  “Many people have asked me do you ever get mad and of course I answer “well yes, everyone gets mad sometimes.”  The important thing is what we do with the mad that we feel in life.

A few weeks ago coming home from a particularly tough day at work, I stopped to see my two grandsons.  Their mom and dad weren’t there but the boys were there with the babysitter in the backyard, squirting water with hoses.  I could see that they were really having fun.  but I felt that I needed to let them know that I didn’t want to be squirted.

Do Not Squirt Me

So I told them so, and little by little, I could feel that the older boy, Alexander, was testing the limit until finally, his hose was squirting very close to where I was standing.  I said to him in my harshest voice, Okay, that’s it alexander turn off the water, you’ve had it.

He did as I told him and said he was sorry and looked very sad.  The more I thought about it, the sadder I got.  I realized Alexander had not squirted me.  That I had stepped into his and his brother’s playtime with a lot of feelings leftover from work.

Guilt

So when I got home, I called Alexander, on the phone.  I told him I felt awful about my visit with him. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was taking out my anger from work on him.  I told him I was really sorry.

Do you know how he answered me?  Oh, Baba, everybody makes mistakes sometimes.  I nearly cried.  I was so touched by his naturally generous heart.  I realized that if I hadn’t called him, I might not have ever received that wonderful gift of Alexander’s sweet forgiveness.”

 

Faith in Hard Places. Healing in Real Life.

The Little Squares of Life

Brandi C

The Little Squares of Life

The Little Squares of Life

In The Little Squares of Life, what do you see? I see skinny people with flawless makeup (the women anyway). Also, I see homemade meals and clean, organized houses. Pets can speak three languages and never need walking because they can use the toilet. Little humans wearing matching clothes never shed a tear or throw a royal fit. They are always smiling with their perfectly cut hair.

What I See

I see manicured yards, ideally educated children. These children speak the same languages as their pets plus one more for fun. They are involved in 25 sports each and excel at each mark. People who love Jesus are the world’s holy ones. They are most certainly blessed with new cars, new houses, and health. Everyone seems to be healthy. Happy, all photos are of happy people.

What a delusion!

Behind The Little Squares of Life is the reality. Marriages falling apart behind the smiles. Kids with dirt under their fingernails and enough earwax to make a candle. Sickness behind the smiles, whether that is life-altering illnesses or mental illnesses and anything in between. It could be a chronic thing or a thing they are too embarrassed to see a doctor for. In that scenario, they are too ashamed to go and ask because they are afraid of what they will find. Taking that further, they are so scared nothing is wrong, and they have embarrassed themselves in front of their doctor and now have a bill to pay.

Reality

Burnt dinners, mailboxes with something green growing on them. Weeds are hidden amongst the hostas. Addictions, hatefulness, and spikes in anger run rampant—people who are broken and tired because of a wayward child. Adult children are now turning into the parents of their parents who are sick.

Green for a Reason

Yes, a beautiful green yard can be seen from across the way. Lush green grass that looks like it is taunting you to come across the street and walk barefoot through it. You don’t realize that as you take your shoes off and tiptoe in the neighbor’s yard, you suddenly feel the truth. That lush green grass is lush for a reason. They have a septic issue, and you are walking through feces water.

Good times.

When are we going to start living in the reality of life? Why do we (I) continue to compare ourselves to others when I know the story behind the picture. I get so tired of this little game that may be in my head.

Take a Moment

Behind every picture is pain a lot of times. The one who loves her pets more than the typical person may be the one who struggles with infertility. There is the one that smiles through daily death or near-death experiences due to a calling of her life. One is always smiling with her children, yet divorce is on the horizon due to addiction.

Every picture is different.

Also, every person is different. Do not ever assume something based on a snapshot. Please, for love, do not judge those who think he/she should “know” better. Someone who “should not have” adopted children. Thoughts on if a person is too overweight or underweight.

People hide their pain behind humor and smiles.

They want you to think about all the good things about them because they are hurting so deeply. If you get too close, you will smell fear on them or pain. Then the questions come that they may or may not know the answer to.

You Can Help

Ask someone (a friend, family, acquaintance, or a stranger) how their day is BUT mean it. Maybe they will be honest with you, from that point on, pra for them. Now, don’t just say you will pray for them. Honestly, most people say that, and they never do it. You can be different. Lay your hands on them and pray for them. Send them off with a smile.

Ask how you can help. Do they need children’s care? A meal or a ride? Is there some spot where you can be the hands and feet of Jesus for that person? Send them Scripture through text or FB message. Take the sin out of social media and interject Jesus all over it!

 

Faith in Hard Places. Healing in Real Life.

Fat Girls and Field Mice

Brandi C

Fat Girls and Field Mice

Fat Girls and Field Mice

Let’s pretend you’re a fly on the wall and I’m going to tell you a story of Fat Girls and Field Mice.

It’s around midnight, and I’m heading to bed when I have a sweet little thought. I say to myself, “Self, you should grab a note from your love notebook and sneak it into Big Daddy’s lunchbox. Give the man a thrill in the middle of his workday.” Cute, right?

So, after I’ve already been upstairs and snuggled under the covers, I decide to get up and do just that.

Trying to Be Sneaky

I grab a love note and quietly tiptoe downstairs. Now, I’m convinced Big Daddy can hear a pin drop from across the house—even with three fans on and the bedroom door shut. So I’m being extra sneaky.

I get to the kitchen and realize his lunchbox is in the pantry. No big deal. I open the pantry door, and out of nowhere, a mouse runs over my foot.

Yep. A. Mouse.

She didn’t even flinch. That thing was already wearing an apron and making herself at home. I tried to negotiate, but she was settled in.

Things I Do Not Do

Now listen, I’m a woman of many talents, but there are three things I do not do:

  1. Boats

  2. Touch raw chicken

  3. Mice

So, what does this grown woman do? I grab my boobs and start jumping up and down like a middle schooler at a boy band concert. Then I freeze, completely still, and ask myself, “Is this warm feeling from the fireplace, or did I just pee?” Thankfully, it was the fireplace.

I tiptoe into the dining room, grab the giant dog bed, and wedge it in front of the pantry door to trap the mouse. Mission “contain the rodent” activated.

Sound the Alarm

I rush back upstairs, no longer quiet. I’m practically levitating in front of Big Daddy, squealing about the Montana-sized mouse in our pantry—right next to my Coke stash, mind you. I tell him he must do something. My nerves are shot, I’m sweating in all the wrong places, and I’m about one anxious toot away from a sonic boom.

Big Daddy finally rolls out of bed (think John Wayne meets grumpy bear), grabs glue traps, and prepares for battle.

Supportive Wife Mode: Activated

Meanwhile, I’m standing on a dining room chair, shouting encouraging statements like:

  • “I love you!”

  • “You’re amazing!”

  • “Focus!”

  • “It’ll eat your feet!”

  • “I’ll go get a cat!”

He was thrilled. Couldn’t you just feel the love?

Get a Cat

Glue traps weren’t working. So Big Daddy says, “Get a cat.” Music to my ears.

I run outside—barefoot, in my drawers—and yell for our cats. Martha comes first. I scoop her up and toss her to Big Daddy like a furry grenade. He throws her into the pantry and shuts the door.

Funniest Scene Ever

Every time he cracked the pantry door to check progress, Martha bolted out like she was screaming, “SANCTUARY!” She wanted no part of this rodent rodeo. After several failed attempts, I let her go.

Next up: Starr. She’s not the friendliest feline, but I figured her attitude might be the secret weapon. Same process, same result. Open door, toss cat, close door, pity crack the door open, and whoosh—Starr escapes with a hiss.

The Final Attempt

While I’m still perched like a sweaty gargoyle on the chair, Big Daddy makes one last attempt. He tosses the cat in, shuts the door, and then—bam—the mouse darts out. Big Daddy does a jig, I scream like I’m being chased by a clown, and Starr wants nothing to do with us.

The mouse heads straight under the cabinet. Starr exits stage left with her tail puffed and pride bruised. Big Daddy glares at me and blames me for scaring the mouse. Seriously?

So Much for Romance

I told him, “My plan was to be sweet and seductive and sneak a love note into your lunchbox. Now you’ll just have to deal with granny panties and leg hair long enough to braid. I’m done.”

As I finally calmed down and got back into bed, he mutters, “You know, mice can climb stairs and squeeze under doors. She might end up in bed with us.”

Sweet dreams, right?

The mouse is still out there. Probably redecorating behind my cabinets. First the pig, now the mouse—we’ve been outsmarted twice in a week. Is this just me, or do normal people go through this?

Also—where are my nephews and their homemade blow-darts when you need them?

Sigh.

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