Faith Journey

Get Over It Speech by My Lady

Get Over It Speech by My Lady

Get Over It

I have struggled with depression my whole life. There are short seasons, there are long seasons, then there are *really* long seasons. There have been a couple of times that I am missing a year because I simply cannot remember due to my depression. There are seasons that are circumstantial and once those circumstances have been dealt with, my sad cloud leaves. The other seasons are just plain ole crappy.

I withdraw. I sleep. I do not get out of my house. I do not change my clothes. I do not get out of bed. It takes too much effort. My husband does not know what to do with me. In our early years, he was oblivious because I was great at placing my mask. In our middle years, he recognized and then tried to fix the problems. Depression cannot be fixed by well-meaning spouses.

In Later Years

In the later years, he just sits and he loves on me. He lets me be me and he loves me through the valleys. We have come a very long way. I have learned to take off my masks and ask for help through lots of prayers, Jesus, therapy, and medication. He has learned to stop trying to fix me and to stop trying to understand the darkness that can consume me.

In 2015, I was struggling with a hard season of depression. There were days when I struggled in getting out of bed, getting dressed, brushing my hair, etc. I did the best I could, but at the end of the day, depression won. I would sit in my bed, sobbing about being a failure as a believer, wife, mom, daughter, sister, and human being. Deep down, I knew my worth in Christ but, sadly, I listened to what the evil one was whispering in my ear instead of the Truths of my Jesus.

In Walks My Lady

On a Wednesday night, my family and I went to church for dinner and our classes. We got there, got our food, and sat down to eat. The side door opened and my Lady walked through the doors. She is an amazing lady and she has taught me so much and I knew, regardless, that I was loved by her.

I got up, from my seat, and I went to give her a hug while my son ran and grabbed her some dinner. She has this ability to, not only, look at me but she can look THROUGH me.

That night, she looked through me and she asked me what was wrong. Tears welled up in my eyes and I just said “I don’t know, I’m really really sad and I can’t shake it.” My Lady looked at me and firmly said “well, get over it. You have a life to live, a husband who needs you, children who need you…now get over it.”

Absolutely Shocked

I think you could have knocked me over from the shock of that statement. There has never been a person, over my long history with depression, that has ever said anything like that to me. I almost let it hurt my feelings.  I almost listened to the evil one saying “she does not love you, she does not care, that was mean.”

Instead, Jesus took me and shook me, that night. With Jesus by my side, He flicked satan out of my ear and He said “I sent her to you. She is my gift. This is your kick in the pants from Me through her. Now, get over it!” I walked around in a bit of a daze, that night.

Purposing to Follow-Through

The next day, I got up and I purposed to do a few things to better myself. I am well aware of my deficiencies in the “follow-through” department. There is also the thought of wanting to succeed at something and if I set my goal too high, then I will not follow through and I will fail. I set the bar VERY low.

My first set of 30-day goals were incredibly simple. The first thing was to brush my teeth every day. The second was to put a bra on every day (you laugh…girls….but you know what I’m talking about…especially being a home school mom).

Next Up

I also purposed to read 1 chapter of Psalm and 1 chapter of Proverbs, daily. I did this by starting on whatever day of the month it was. It made it easier for me to remember. I had just received a great study bible, a new journal, highlighters, and pens for Christmas. I was set. In my journal, I listed 5 blessings first. Next, I listed prayer requests. Then, I would read my chapters, highlight the verses that meant something to me and I would write them in my journal.

I made it through that first month! I was so proud of myself and the Lord revealed SO much through His Word. I also maintained my two tiny goals of brushing my teeth and wearing a bra.

Month 2

The next two goals were pretty simple. The first was to take my medicine regularly (always take your meds as prescribed by your doctor) and to not wear my husband’s clothes, but to wear my own. Again, you people might be mocking me, but hey, my husband is a big man and I feel really skinny when I wear his clothes. I like to feel skinny!

I had powered through Proverbs and I still had a ways to go with Psalm, so I thought I would add in a short book of the bible to make myself, again, feel good about accomplishing something. I still kept my journal, but I was on a new journal because I had filled the first one up!

Getting Wild Up in Here

This time around, with my prayer request, I got wild and mixed things up! I went back through my prayer request and I highlighted the answered prayers and I dated them and wrote how they were answered. In my dark times, I was able to flip through my journal and I could physically see the answers and that God still moves even when I feel He is not moving.

I also began branching out with my prayers. When I felt myself closing up and moving inward with my sadness, I forced myself to look to someone else. I texted people in my contacts how I could pray for them. The replies, to my texts, were humbling.

My friends would say “How did you know? What do you know? Who told you? I was just praying about that and I feel like I have confirmation. In my darkest, you reached out.” Oh my goodness. This was such a source of light and comfort for me. The Lord was using my depression to further His Kingdom!

My Prayer Journal

My journal filled up REAL quick and I had to upgrade to a notebook. For each person that I asked how I could pray for them, I gave them their own page and added any requests on that page. I would follow up with their requests to see if the Lord had answered them and when they were answered, I highlighted and dated that request.

Eventually, I branched out even further and I extended prayer to my friends on Facebook. The responses were overwhelming. I was and still am humbled to stand in the gap, with prayer, for people. My notebook got full and I have since moved to a binder! I love my binder. It is never far from me and I have my pens and highlighter ready to go.

What I Learned in my Season of Depression

In this season of depression, I not only learned how to pray, but I also ended up reading through the entire bible in about a year and a half. There were the dreaded books of the bible that came to life because I was reading it through a new set of eyes. The Lord revealed so much, I started sending out lessons I had learned along the journey. My season lifted because one person spoke what I needed to hear. “Get over it!”’

Ending the Stigma of Mental Illness

Depression is real and it is not talked about in society. Please, I am urging whoever is reading this, seek counsel. If counseling does not help, go to your doctor and look to getting on medication. There is no shame in that. I have been on medication, on and off, for several years.

There are seasons of your life when “get over it” does not cut it and you need more help. My hope is that the stigma of depression and other mental illnesses is eradicated and that we can talk freely, get support, and become free from this disease.

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from any type of mental illness, and you are afraid that they may do the unthinkable, the Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. They are there 24 hours a day. Never be ashamed. Never think you are alone. Never not know your options. Reach out! Live! Teach others! Through your ashes, beauty will be found.

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Milestones of Life

Milestones of Life

Milestones of Life

In every person’s life, there are milestones. My first milestone was the age of 13. This was when I could wear a little bit of makeup (think French whore) and I could get my ears pierced. The next milestone was the pinnacle for me. Sweet 16. This was the ideal age to be.

It was a magical age that was filled with promises of lollipops and rainbows. I could finally be a part of the conversation, instead of the person looking in through a window. I waited my *whole* life to get to this age. I waited 16 years! Why? Because this was the age at which my daddy said I could date!

Going Steady and Dating is Not the Same

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone steady with a boy. I was going steady with a boy when the boy didn’t even know we were going steady. I have also been asked to be someone’s girlfriend by another friend who handed me a note, from the boy, which had “check yes or no if you want to be my girlfriend” written on it.

Before 16, the boyfriend scenario was limited to the halls of my school where I would *gasp* wear his necklace or his jacket. We would secretly hold hands underneath the lunchroom table or even better…the library. We would sit together in the lunchroom and eat off each other’s trays.

The Greatest Thing about Going Steady

The greatest thing was sharing his gum. That meant forever because our spit was forever intertwined. The first time I was REALLY kissed was at a middle school dance. Billy Rich.  I wore a powder blue polyester dress. I was sporting matching eye shadow and as an added party favor…my mom put baby’s breath in my hair.

I didn’t kiss my “date”, I kissed my secret love. Well, he kissed me…I ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror because I thought there was moss growing on my tongue. I couldn’t figure out, for the life of me, why someone would stick their tongue down another person’s throat.

Rules of Engagement

I lived at home until I was 20 years old. In that time, my limitations never varied. I was not allowed to call boys, there were never phone calls past 9:00 pm, and my curfew was 11:00 pm. I never went anywhere, so the curfew problem was never an issue. I had no friends, so the phone calls after 9:00 pm were not an issue. There was, however, an issue with the no-call boys rule.

How am I supposed to maintain my girlfriend status if I can’t talk on the phone with my boyfriend? So, phone calls were done in secret. I would grab the ginormous black receiver (still attached to the kitchen wall), dial the number of my boyfriend, run to my room, hide in the closet, and whisper “hey, call me back so we can talk.”

I would run back to the kitchen, hang up the phone and then run to my room and pretend to be reading or cleaning. When the phone rang, I let my mother answer. This was to protect my covert operation. I was so stealthy and an expert dialer. I did all of this while my dad was sleeping and my mom was taking her one bathroom break for the day. I, simply, was a rockstar in the secret boy calling the department.

The Pinnacle of All Things

Now that I have turned 16, I still couldn’t call boys because that was inappropriate but the world became my oyster. That oyster had a name…its name was “The Mall.” Oh. My. Goodness. We could go to the mall and hold hands and kiss while standing in the appliance aisle of Sears.

There was another oyster…its name was “The Park.” Only the coolest kids cruised the park and that is where you went to be noticed and for people to revel in your newest relationship status. We could go to the movies and sit close to each other. It was the greatest age in the entire world. I was so excited. I finally had a purpose. I had status. I was going to catch a guy and I was going to go to the mall with him. You cannot get much great than that!

Rules of Dating

I remember, distinctly, knowing the rules of dating. You have to be 16 and when that special someone comes to pick you up, that person has to come to the door and meet my parents.

Meeting the parents for some kids was no big deal. In my house, however, that meant someone meeting my dad. My dad was a police officer and he was extremely protective of his children. He also had a gun on him or near him and he was never famous for using his words. The thought of a boy meeting him sent a shiver down my spine.

I had it played out in my mind. I would somehow arrange for the “meet and greet” portion of my date to happen when I knew my dad was sleeping or when he left for work (he worked midnights). I could totally avoid him altogether and as long as my mom met this person, I was off the hook. My mom was a piece of cake. She loved everybody. Her goal in life was to hug and feed people. She has always been a person who never meets a stranger.

Siblings

I do not remember my brother dating. He married young and was out of the house by the time I was 10 years old. I do not know if the standards were different because he was a guy. The only real memory I have, of my oldest sister dating, was a prom where she looked like a Farrah Fawcett rainbow child. Her dress was made of tulle and the colors were powder blue with rainbow stripes. It was very risqué because it was off the shoulders. The dude had some kind of 1980s bouffant hairdo that looked a bit like a bird’s nest. This was the beginning of the mullet hair….business in the front and party in the back. The business part was also a feathered Farrah Fawcett hairdo. She was extremely popular and her hair was the bomb!

Tera

I have memories of my other sister when she started dating. She had “boyfriends” and then there was “the” boyfriend….the one that would last. She was giddy and annoying. He was preppy and fun to be around. We would sit around the table and play Rook and lick the cheese off of Doritos. They held hands, she would sit on the floor and put her chin on his knee. The looks of love would flit in between them. I remember thinking “when I get my boyfriend, and he comes over to visit, I’m going to offer him the chair and I’m going to sit on the floor next to him because that is what girlfriends and boyfriends do.”

My Big Day

When my big day arrived and the thrill of the knowledge that it was “my time” to date was almost unbearable. I felt a bit like the chick in “The Scarlet Letter.” I felt like when I walked into that school, that there was a giant red “D” on my chest and that, of course, stood for DATEABLE. My vision was that I would enter through the giant double doors and there would be a wind machine in the common area.

That wind machine would be blowing my massively large permed hair. The giant red bow, holding back my locks, would flap in the wind. My baby blue eye shadow, which was applied with a spackle knife, would radiate my big, brilliant, brown eyes. My mustard yellow pants, perfectly pegged at my ankles would highlight my brown Robin Hood shoes which perfectly matched my deep, purple shirt. I was hot AND I was 16 AND I was officially dateable. Who would not want all of that?

What I Envisioned

I envisioned the boys standing in line…waiting to get the first shot at me as I walked through the doors….were not so much standing around. They were flitting back and forth between classes, lockers, and the bathroom. There was not one, single, solitary person who knew it was my BIG birthday. What. A. Letdown. My scarlet letter “D” had fallen off my shirt and I stood there thinking “Seriously, people, I am 16. Ask. Me. Out!”

I was devastated. To offset my devastating, I went to the bathroom, fixed my hair, reapplied more baby blue eye shadow, reapplied my “D” and headed out to the halls to casually announce that I was 16 and I was on the market. Fresh meat. Excited to be alive and ready to say YES!

Doodling for Attention

As I sat in class, I would doodle “today is my birthday and 16” all over my paper. I doodled and doodled and doodled. There was not one person, male or female, that noticed what I was doodling. Dangit. The next step…tell people. I would get a half-smile or some people would actually say the words “happy birthday” but other than that, no one was excited.

I went home, full of sadness. I looked in the mirror and thought “you look hot, you look 16, you look like you are ‘of age’ to date, the outfit is rockin’…what the heck is the problem?” I vowed to try again tomorrow. I wanted to be noticed. I wanted that boyfriend. I wanted the title of girlfriend. I had no idea what it meant other than kissing freely, holding hands, and being able to ride in the car with them.

What to Expect When You are Dating

I talked to daddy about what to expect in the dating world. I needed to be prepared. Daddy just looked at me and gruffly said “go out with boys for free food and movies.” Alrighty, then. That is your great sage advice. He also would tell me “when all other boys go to the barn, I will still be there for you.” Now, that piece of advice was sweet. The other…not so much.

My mom, I never talked much to her about dating. I never talked to anyone about dating. I was one of those kids that didn’t have a lot of friends because I didn’t fit in with any crowd. There was not one person, at my school, that did not know who my daddy was and what he did for a living. I was never told where any parties were because my dad was the one to bust the parties. When your daddy is a cop….it limits who you hang out with to nobody.

In the end, I never dated one single person at my school but I did marry a hottie from college 🙂

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The One that *Sees* You

The One that *Sees* You

The One that *Sees* You

Have you ever felt invisible?  That no one really sees the pain that you carry around on a daily basis?  Has your pain ever been so intense and you have stuffed it so far, that you are numb to emotions?  Have you ever been called emotionally stagnant or unable to feel things as they happen?  Well, that’s me in a nutshell.

Trauma

Childhood trauma, young adult trauma, adult trauma, PTSD, whatever it is that you may face.  It’s a bitch.  In the moment, I feel nothing.  I’m always on mode go go go go go and then once I’ve gone, I relax.  Then, I cry and feel all the feelings.  It’s horrible.  I’m working on processing the traumas, whether big or small, past, present or what I foresee.

Have you ever taken the ACE test?  The Adverse Childhood Experience study?  My score is 6.  This means that “People with an ACE score of 6 or higher are at risk of their lifespan being shortened by 20 years. ACEs are responsible for a big chunk of workplace absenteeism, and for costs in health care, emergency response, mental health, and criminal justice.”

Drug Allergy Testing

So, this past week, I had to take Hunter back to the allergist at Vanderbilt.  This time, not for seasonal allergies but for a Decadron Challenge.  Doing this definitively tells me whether or not he has an allergy to this specific drug.

Luckily, we had the same nurse as last time and the dr that we met via telehealth the first time.  These ladies are so very nice.  They explained things to Hunter and me very well.  We had to leave a bit early and I got so turned around that we were almost lost.

This place is in a shopping mall.  I kind you not.  We had to go to a mall to go to the doctor.  It is so weird.  Add that to the fact we have to go up one escalator, down a thousand hallways, and up an elevator to get to where we were going.  I was tired, he was getting anxious, we all know the drill.

10 Minutes Late

We got there, just in the knick of time.  The nurse called us back and said how she remembered us from the last time.  She did all the things and got us to our room.  Hunter was behind me, twirling his shirt and hopping.  I sat down, feeling defeated but stoic.  Ready for this next test, next doctor, next hospital, next next next.

The nurse came over and asked to hold Hunter’s hands.  She looked at him and told him exactly what we were going to do.  That nothing, today, would hurt him.  She comforted him and asked him if he was okay.  He said he was scared and she softly assured him that there was nothing to fear.  That touched my heart of stone.

Then, It Happened

She got him settled with the promise of Teddy Grahams and power aid.  Next, she rolled back to her computer and started typing something, asking me the normal round of questions.  Then, she quickly turned her chair around and looked me dead in the eye.

She said, “are you okay?”  This was done with such sincerity that it threw me off.  I was speechless.  Then, I felt it coming.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I gently said “no.”  She rolled over to me and patted me on the leg and said that it was going to be okay and that I was going to be okay.

I Felt Seen

At that moment, I felt as if she could see directly into my soul.  That she saw everything that had been stuffed down and she wanted to assure me that it is okay.  I am okay.  This is all going to be okay.  I felt such comfort and calmness.  A peace fell over me and I could physically feel my body relaxing.

On cue, Hunter must have felt something too because he did his thing.  Ever since he got sick, we have listened to Ms. Debbie.  She has recorded us about 8 songs.  He knows them all by heart and asks to listen to her because it calms him.  He turned around and said, “can we please listen to Ms. Debbie?”

We both listened and praised God together.  I am learning, listening, and trying to trust in the process.  It is coming up on 4 yrs and we are both just tired.  God, give us rest and heal his weary body.

Side note:  he is NOT allergic to Decadron 🙂

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Redeem Me, Lord

 

What started out as excitement

Lent its way to anxiety

Everyone fighting with resentment

I, wanting nothing more than privacy

 

Privacy comes at a price

It comes with the monster in the night

I just want to be alone and play nice

But the monster is a fright

 

It taunts me and haunts me

All the days of my life

The monster hides inside me

He is ready to destroy all of sources of my life

 

Please leave me be and take your fighting

Mind please settle down and be calm

I can’t take much more hiding

Its time to settle this qualm

 

I sit in silence and cry

Over the losses of the past

I can’t seem to shake the past off, but I try

Losing comes to fast

 

Redeem me Lord, with your promises

Here my earnest plea

Save me from this monster

Save me from me

 

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Eyes so blue

Skin so white

Legs so long

What a delight

 

A girl who walks

To the beat of her own drum

A girl who talks

Her words can’t be undone

 

The looks of hate

The entitlement she feels

Has overwhelmed this mama

Her feelings flow freely through the gate

 

Is it fate that draws

The anger outside

Is it payback from childhood

Will it ever subside

 

This mama’s heart aches

Watching the self-destruction

She wonders if joy will ever return

Or will she yield to her fate

 

Will happiness ensue

To this bright blue-eyed girl

Or will the hate take over

Or will love cut through

~Author Unknown~

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Recipes and Cooking

Mexican Lasagna Created From Leftovers

Mexican Lasagna Created From Leftovers

Mexican Lasagna Created From Leftovers

Well, my my my, I had no idea my Mexican Lasagna Created From Leftovers would taste so good.  A few days ago, I made Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches.  I had a lot of the meat leftover and that is what I used instead of ground beef.

Ingredients

Steak um’s (you can use ground beef)

Salt-free garlic and herb seasoning

Seasoning

Creole Seasoning

Orange, yellow, red peppers, chopped

Fresh garlic

Onion, chopped

2 cans diced tomatoes

1/3 white queso Velveeta

Can of drained whole kernel corn

Directions

I placed my meat and veggies in the pan and sauteed them.  You can add a bit of oil, bacon grease, or butter to keep them from sticking.  Once that was done, I seasoned it until it tasted like I wanted it to taste.

Next, I added in the corn and diced tomatoes.  My husband doesn’t like tomatoes like that, so I covered my pot and let them stew all the way down.  Then, I added the white queso Velveeta. Taste to adjust the seasoning.

Rice

2 c. of water

2 c. of rice

Place on “rice” mode in your instant pot.  Let naturally release.

Layering

Put a small amount of sauce in a greased 13×9 dish.  Then, place in flour tortillas, next, sauce.  Then, rice.  Finally, I had some colby/jack cheese cubes.  I broke those over the rice and added a bit of cheddar.  Repeat layers ending with cheese.

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. Let sit for 10 minutes and serve.

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Get Your Fight Back

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In the Still of the Night, The Monster Comes to Play

In the Still of the Night, The Monster Comes to Play

In the Still of the Night, The Monster Comes to Play

In the Stillness

I love the time of day when I can go upstairs and just be.  For the day, I am done.  I am done with school, cooking, cleaning, putting out fires, phone calls, texts, etc.  My stuff, a bottle of water, and coke come up the stairs with me.  I turn on all the fans, dim the lights, wash my face, and pile up in bed.  Yet, In the Still of the Night, The Monster Comes to Play.

For a bit, I am good.  I will scan all the things like email, Instagram, and such.  Facebook is a thing of the past.  I cannot stand the fakeness, passive-aggressive, political, crap that it is.  A “friend” can be a friend to your face but behind your back, they are a glorified 12-year-old living in the land of middle school.

That shit is for the birds.  I’m so much better than that.

Then, the stillness sets in.

The Silence

My life is SO loud.  I mean my son-in-law is LOUD.  Everyone is loud.  We have 21 chickens, 19 cats, a whiny dog, a granddaughter, and kids galore.  It is always something.  At night, though, other than the fans, it is silent.

That’s when the thoughts come in.  These are not good thoughts.  Normally, I watch the Detail Geek (car detailing guy from Canada) and talk to Donna.  We talk through several of his details and giggle so much.  Catch up on life, talk about our issues, and the issues of our children… all the things.

Since she passed away, in October last year, I have stopped watching him.  I get so emotional when I do.  Then, I go to pick up the phone and I realize she isn’t there.  All of the unresolved trauma and grief floods me.

Reality

When Donna’s daughter died, I did not process her death for a year.  Her death was so hard on me.  I have loved LA from the moment I met her until the moment we buried her.  Donna and I had always been close but our bond was unbreakable after LA died.

I remember the night that I called her.  Crying.  I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe.  She could not understand me.  Finally, she said for me to stop and tell her 2 things that make me laugh when I think of her.

  1.  Bats
  2. Hair dye

Instantly

I stopped crying and replayed that story over and over in my head.  The darkness began to have a bit of light and the monster retreated for a moment back from where it came.  Donna is gone. Now, I have no one to tell that story too.

So again, the monster comes out to play in the stillness of the night.  When I am alone with my own thoughts and the depression begins to overwhelm me.

Bats. Hair dye.  Bats.  Hair dye.  Monsters go away because I do not want to play.

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Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Revelations of an 18-Year-Old and Social Media Dangers

Every day we get on our phones and scroll aimlessly through social media. We comment on and like our friend’s photos. We even comment on and like celebrities’ photos. Every day we are exposed to photos and other kinds of media that hurt our self-esteem. Every time we go on social media, we see images of people who look a way that we don’t or have things that we don’t and that causes us to think more negative things about ourselves because we are those other people.

Kids Getting Phones TOO Soon

Kids are getting phones younger and younger these days. I am not shaming anyone, but I feel that it is important that we look at how social media and phones can affect young and impressionable kids.
Growing up, I got a phone when I was in 7th grade. I had to share the phone with my many brothers and sisters. Looking back, creating my social media at such a young age was a stupid idea. From then on, I noticed how much I started to compare myself to other girls. I started to despise myself after a while because I didn’t look like the girls I was seeing on the internet. I couldn’t fit into a size zero, and that’s where my body image issues started.

After 2 Years

After two years, I slowly started skipping meals. It started out slow maybe skipping a meal or two a week. It got worse rather quickly. I went from only missing one or two meals a week, to only eating once a week. I truly felt that there was nothing wrong with that behavior. I felt totally normal. I got down to a very small size, the smallest I’ve been, and It just wasn’t good for me. Even though I was tiny, I felt like I was 400 pounds. The truth is, I still haven’t fully recovered from my eating disorder. it wasn’t until a few months ago that I started eating more regularly. It’s been rough trying to get myself back on track.
It wasn’t until I decided to delete my TikTok and other apps that hurt me mentally That I realized just how much those apps had an impact on me. It was such a toxic environment for me, and I decided I didn’t want to live in such a vicious cycle. It was truly never-ending.  Exposing young children, especially young girls, is harmful. This is something I am very passionate about because I know how much it affected me.

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Recipes and Cooking

Sav’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Sav’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Sav's Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Ingredients

1 cup salted butter, softened

1 cup white sugar

1 cup light brown sugar, packed

2 tsps. vanilla

2 eggs

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. sea salt (can use kosher or regular salt)

2 cups chocolate chips (we use the mini but any will do)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375.  Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or spray with nonstick spray.  In separate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, salt, baking powder.  Set aside.

Cream together the butter and sugars until combined.  Beat in the eggs and vanilla until fluffy.  Then, mix in the dry ingredients until combined well.  Add the 12 oz. of chocolate chips and mix well.

Rolling Rolling Rolling

Roll 2-3 Tbsp of dough, at a time, into balls.  Place them evenly spaced on your prepared cookie sheets.  You can also use a small cookie scoop to do this.  Bake in the preheated oven for approximately 8-10 minutes.

Take them out when they are just BARELY starting to turn brown.  Remember the bottoms will brown quicker than the top.

You could slather your naked body with the dough…  Just a thought cause the dough is FANTASTIC.  Also, you can bake them until they are crispier.  My father-in-law loved burnt cookies.  These cookies remind me of the Soft Batch Cookies from back in the day.

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Recipes and Cooking

Cinnamon Roll Cake

Cinnamon Roll Cake

Cinnamon Roll Cake

Oh my is this Cinnamon Roll Cake the best thing ever.  I hope you find it as good as my family does.  It is so easy to make.  This cake is good hot or the next day.  It usually doesn’t last too long after that, at my house.

My parents are coming over for dinner and they have chosen the menu.  I’m unnaturally excited about them coming for no reason.  Normally, when they come to my house it is either a celebration or a crisis.  This time is neither.

Technically, Thursdays are reserved for pizza night but I am gladly rescheduling that for Friday night.  I’m thankful that my parents are still able to get up and go whenever they want too.  It is definitely a blessing.

I love cinnamon rolls.  Probably more than my waistline does.  We do not make this often, but tonight was a special occasion.

Cake

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups milk

2 eggs

4 tsps. vanilla

4 tsps. baking powder

1 stick butter, melted

Directions

Place ingredients in bowl and mix well.  Pour into a 13×9 greased dish.

Next Up

1 cup brown sugar

1 T. Cinnamon

3/4 cup melted butter

Directions

Mix in small bowl and pour over top of cake.

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

Icing

3 c. powdered sugar (for those who might not know, the symbol XXX is for powdered sugar as well).

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

5-8 tsps milk (you want it thin enough to pour easily)

Directions

Allow to sit for 10 minutes.  Pour over hot cake.  If you get wild, poke some holes in the cake and let that yumminess seep down into it.

THEN EAT!

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