Tag: trust issues

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

No Thanks to You Part 3

Brandi C

No Thanks to You Part 3

No Thanks to You Part 3

No Thanks to You Part 3. It was such a shock to me. It came without warning. I honestly don’t understand. Because that morning, it was business as usual. We were doing quality assurance and fixing simple mistakes on the computer. What was that you said to me? 

If you did your job right the first time, your mistakes wouldn’t be on this list? I could count maybe five mistakes out of hundreds that I could claim. And they were as simple to fix as checking a box. But you felt the need to the point that out to me. You worked me to the very end. 

 

That was hurtful. 

 

When you said that to me, I cried silently at my desk. It wasn’t the first time. I cried silently because of the stress you put me under, and this job put me under. The anxiety and the depression were insurmountable at the time. As one does, I put on a brave face and carried on. I didn’t let you see me sweat. 

 

His face, as you fired me, was that of sorrow. That he didn’t want to be in this position, he looked at me with pity while it seemed you were doing a victory dance. Was I that bad of an employee for you to find joy in letting me go? You were so callous it was almost cruel. At least he had some sense. He knew I was a good worker, and I don’t think he truly understood your decision. 

 

Jealous Co-Worker

 

Because she was always in your ear about something, she was intimidated by me. She hated me. Therefore, you had to hate me. I blame you and her. I do not blame him. He did nothing wrong. He was just a poor, unfortunate person to be in that situation. 

 

I can’t believe that you joked and laughed as I was cleaning out my desk. I was crying, and you were laughing. That is unbelievably cruel. He walked me out, and he was genuinely sorry for the situation. But you, you were cruel. 

 

What Happened Next

 

So, I need to educate you on what happened to me after you fired me. What is the aftermath of your decision to let me go from my job? No wonder people hit such deep lows when they lose a job. That hurts if you put 100% of your efforts into a career and are just dumped. 

 

I had very little money. What money I did save went to get a new apartment. I had to move. I couldn’t stay where I was anymore. It took everything I had. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I felt like such a failure. Even with the meds, I was depressed. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to live with myself. 

 

Choices

 

Choices are a funny thing, and we make them every day. But our choices affect those around us. Your choices affected me negatively in a bad way. I was already depressed, and your choice made it so much worse. When it rains, it pours, and you were the last thundercloud. The straw that broke the camels’ back. 

 

I was a broken human. Frankly, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I remember being so sad. So numb. I didn’t feel anything anymore. Nothing made me happy. I was in such a bottomless pit I didn’t think anyone could save me. Honestly, I want you to know that. I hope my life will be a lesson to you, what man meant to harm, God intended for good. 

 

It wasn’t good for a long time. 

 

God knew that it was only by His grace that I survived that period of my life. He knew that was the worst possible job I could be in. He knew that was a bad fit for me and my personality, though I was good at it. So really, it became a blessing. But don’t think for one second that I don’t still hold resentment towards you. Even my ex-co-worker can’t stand you. No one can. Because you are rude, you talk over people and rub people the wrong way, not many people like you. 

 

Without your poor choice

 

I would not have made it to the job I have now. I wouldn’t have met my forever love. My job now is awesome, and I am very good at it. I am highly respected by everyone that knows me. And well-liked by many in my profession. I tell people how it is, I do not judge them, I do not micro-manage, and I am not micromanaged. 

 

I am free to do things my way. And my way works. I am still medicated, but I am medicated for the best. It helps me cope with those dark days. Those days are so uncertain, and I never know when one will come up. But they are manageable now. 

 

My life is better now, no thanks to you. 

 

 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

No Thanks to You Part 2

Brandi C

 

 

No Thanks to You Part 2

No Thanks to You Part 2

I didn’t do things the way you wanted me to. Honestly, I like to make notes. I don’t shred things as often as you would like because I fear losing something important. Frankly, I still do that to this day. I am good at returning phone calls, but you insist that I write down every number and every message, so I don’t forget to call them back. Lastly, I can do several things at once, and you didn’t like that. 

 

You are very controlling, too much micromanaging my work. Honestly, you knew I did a good job, so why didn’t you let me do things my way? You told me everyone does things differently and gets their rhythm. I had my rhythm, but you wanted to change who I was as a person and employee. I took issue with that. 

 

Depression Over my Job

 

I got so depressed at this job and anxious over doing a good job that I had to get medicated. Every time you walked into the room, I wondered what I had done wrong now? You started making a point to notice every tiny detail of something I missed or got wrong. That is not how a boss should be to his employees. You didn’t praise me anymore. You didn’t show any sign that I was enough for this job. 

 

You expected more and more from me. When I needed help, you were conveniently not around. I tried to get your help with a matter, and you were not available to help me. I made a mistake. I acknowledge that. But your biggest mistake was not being around when I needed you—and not training me as you should. 

 

Another Low Blow

 

I cannot believe that you tried to take my unemployment from me. That was one of the lowest things that you did to me. I was mortified. And when I explained this to the woman at the unemployment office the situation, she quickly understood that it was not me but you. I am glad she saw it my way. 

 

You kept meeting with me with a disappointed look in your eyes. And you dragged him into this? The look on his face was regretful for having to deal with your misogynistic, sexist, backward, lying actions. Telling me we can fix this, and if you get yourself medicated, it will be fixed. You made me feel like the problem was with me and not you and that it was all my fault for the very few mistakes I did make. 

 

You made me feel less than human. 

 

I was just a troubled, sad person who couldn’t perform well at my job without being medicated. Do you have any idea what I was going through at that time of my life? That I was going through a break-up months from getting married? My grandfather almost died, and you didn’t bat an eye. I was so sad. And you made me feel like, at least in the beginning, that we were a team and you would help me through anything. 

 

But you didn’t even bother to ask. You just assumed I was okay and moved on. Frankly, you didn’t care what happened to me. You didn’t watch. And that was hurtful because you said I could trust you. 

 

Smack in the Middle the Lies Began

 

Then, you let me go in the middle of all the shit I was dealing with within a week of the end of my probationary period. I had nothing. Nothing. Nothing to live for anymore. You were the last straw in my life. I was already dealing with so much pain and agony, and you treated me this way. After all the work I did for you. All those extra hours I worked. 

You told me that I was rude to inmates and that I talked over them. That was all a lie. You said to me that a clerk filed a complaint against me. That was also a lie. I don’t even know what I did to offend her, but life continues. The judges liked me. They still do—funny thing how lies work. I have never had a single issue in that courthouse in my job now. I am respected and well-liked by everyone. 

 

You told me that I wasn’t a good fit. 

 

Then why waste my time and yours? You could have let me go a lot sooner. If I were that lousy employee, you would have cut your losses sooner. Isn’t that what you told me about Charlotte in Frankfort? That you should cut your losses and fire me. 

You told me that to scare me. I don’t even think that woman knows my name or anything about me. I was a week from being a tenured employee. And you decided to cut me then; you milked me for all the work I was good enough for. Then you dumped me on the curb like yesterday’s trash. I was no longer your prodigy. 

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

No Thanks to You

Brandi C

No Thanks to You

No Thanks to You

No Thanks to You. I held such resentment for you. I still have some resentment for the way you treated me. At first, you made me feel like I was a prodigy, that I could do it all. You knew my family and me; their reputation preceded me. I was hired on pretty quickly and showed you all my potential. 

You made me feel special, that I was doing so well. I worked well with you, judges, lawyers, inmates, and jail staff. I was good at my job. I did my best to be impartial, no matter the charge. I never gave anyone reason to believe that I disliked them. I was calm and collected. 

 

Everyone loved me. 

 

The jail staff, my co-workers, and the court staff, everyone loved me. I had no complaints. No one came to me or had any issues with me. My co-worker vouched for me so many times because she knew how good of an employee I was. So what I don’t understand is why you turned on me. After you hired your new protege, I fell by the wayside. 

 

I was still doing exemplary work and detailed assessments, and nothing escaped me. I did well in court, was respectful to all, and did my job. And it was a stressful job, with many things at stake, and I worked without complaint. 

 

You Promised

 

You promised me that you would train me further, that I would be attending all these pieces of training to make me better. But you failed. I did not receive those pieces of training. Therefore, I had to learn a lot of things myself. Every time I had an issue, I told you that I did not feel right every time someone asked something of me. 

 

When she became a supervisor, she also fell in this time. She disliked me for some reason. I tried to be kind, still told her all my issues, and filled her in on essential details. She is so fake. I can’t understand why you listened to her over me. 

 

Choosing One Over the Other

 

I never gave you a reason not to trust me. She gave you every reason. It was always my word against hers, and it was always the issue with her. She is a snake in the grass, and I am surprised not more people see that in her. She pretends to be a good person and would play Christian music at work, but I could see that she was faking it. Her actions did not prove she was a good person. 

 

She went behind my back to you over an issue I struggled with. I knew the protocol. I knew what would happen. She was standing over me, talking in my ear with another person, standing over my shoulder, behind me, waiting for me to call. I may have been short with her, but I did as she requested. 

 

Honest Truth

 

I don’t do well when people are behind me. I don’t do well with people barking orders at me and micromanaging me. When I later asked her if there were any issues, she assured me there weren’t. And foolishly, I believed her. Then, like the snake, she went to you without telling me. And that was the knife in the back that hurt me. 

I do not trust very quickly. You and she are two of those reasons. First, you told me that you would help me and train me further, that I could trust you. I relied on you to help me because you said that you would. But you didn’t; you failed in that regard. 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Am Who I Am

Brandi C

I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

Being who I am that I do not have many friends. It is hard for me to open up to other people because of how often I have been used. Also, for being backstabbed by these so-called “friends.” My circle of friends is tiny due to this issue I have had in the past. 

I have maybe four close friends who care about me and my well-being. I would do anything for them. Honestly, I am loyal to the end. I find it hard to let go, especially when potential long-lasting friendships end. I also tend to take on my friends’ problems. Sadly, I claim that I am the cause of their issues. I will just as quickly take the blame for everything rather than have them take responsibility. 

This One “Friend”

This one “friend” is currently my co-worker and, unfortunately, my neighbor. The first night shift we worked together, we instantly clicked. We became comfortable with each other, which is incredibly rare for me. As the days went on, we constantly texted about work and life. We would hang out at my place and watch movies on our days off. His friends and family became comfortable with me as we continued to hang out. Working together was a blast since we got along, and the kids enjoyed it when we both worked on the same day.

Tragic Event

He was always there for me when I needed him. There was a massive party at the apartment where I used to live. There were easily at least 200+ party-goers. Having a party, this size goes against the contract of the apartment complex. Unfortunately, the party got out of hand. There was a tragic event that turned the party into a nightmare. 

My anxiety was at an all-time high, and I needed to get out of there. My friend came to rescue me as quickly as he could. He was so understanding and was there to help distract me from this event. My friend insisted that I did not return to my apartment until things calmed down and the police finished their investigations.

Maude, My Orphan Kitty

My friend also supported me when my little orphan kitten died that I was trying to bottle feed after her mom rejected her. I stayed up late at night and took that little kitten with me literally everywhere, we eventually had a routine, and I was so proud of how she was progressing. I do not do well when animals die, especially if I am the one dedicated to their health and well-being. The baby passed away, and I was heartbroken. My friend was with me, and he took the kitten and buried her for me since I could not do it myself. 

I Told Him Everything

We did not have secrets, and we knew each other pretty well. My ‘friend’ was concerned for my mental health and physical health since the job profession we work in is extremely taxing for someone with mental health issues. I was grateful to have someone to talk to who has some of the same problems that I struggle with daily. This person was the true definition of an absolute best friend, or so I thought. 

We did not date even though he admitted having feelings for me that I could not reciprocate for personal reasons. But we remained best friends for a long time, that is, until his current girlfriend came back into his life. They had dated once in the past. I was supportive. I still wanted to hang out with him, and I also wanted to get to know his girlfriend because I was trying to be supportive of their relationship. 

All of a Sudden

He stopped talking to me, and he did not use text or call me at all. I had no clue what I did wrong to make him not talk to me because we spent almost every day together. Things just got worse from that point. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to acknowledge my existence and futile attempts to get him to speak to me. 

I admitted to him that I was jealous that he spent every day with his new girlfriend and that she moved in with him only two weeks after their dating. Not jealous in the love sort of way but jealous that my best friend put all of his attention on just his girlfriend and nobody else. 

Then One Night

One night I was walking my dog, and he was outside on his back patio with his sister and girlfriend. I did not say a single word to him. He shouted from his yard that he needed to say something to me and let me have it. He told me never to talk to his friends or family again and that if I had something to say, I should say it to his face. 

Instantly I got defensive and shouted back an obscene comment while rushing back to my apartment. Granted, I should have handled that situation with better decorum, but I was unprepared for that verbal attack. This ‘friend’ would text me nasty things, and his girlfriend even got in on the action and told me to stop talking to her boyfriend or things would get worse for me. I did not know how to handle this situation, so I ignored him. 

My Depression and Anxiety

My depression was through the roof, and my anxiety about the whole scenario kept my mind running in 20 different directions. My ‘friend’ drunk-dialed me one night, and I just broke down and told him everything I felt and how betrayed I felt about the whole situation. He blamed me for his drinking and dipping problem, and he said that I was the one that caused drama between him and his friends and family. Being the person I am, I claimed his problems as my own. I honestly believed that our entire friendship had been some one-way street and that I had caused all his problems. 

Eventually

After we were mature and decided to end our silly feud when we would work together, he started talking to me more, and we fell back into our usual best friend ways. He said that his girlfriend did not like me, and she did not like the fact that we would hang out all the time and text each other constantly. I told him that if she was threatened by me trying to “break up their relationship,” I could never do that to someone. I’m not that kind of person. And I reiterated that I will still support and care about him because he played a part in my life whether I wanted it to happen or not.

I Missed my Best Friend

I told him I missed my best friend, and I honestly did. I missed the days we would hang out together, be goofy, and have fun with our two dogs. The thing is, is that I hold onto the people that come into my life. I try to make any situation better by offering to help however I can at the time. My friend kept in contact with me, but we never actually hung out except when we worked together at the boy’s house. He fell into a bad depressive state, and I tried my best to be there for him since I know how rough it can be when you get in that depressive state. 

One Random Night

His girlfriend added me on Snapchat and sent me a message. I dreaded opening it because I hated confrontation. We talked for a long time, and we were okay. I explained that I did not have feelings for him other than feelings of being a best friend and that I was not trying to break up their relationship. I called my friend and told him what she said and how everything was good between us again. Everything was fine for the next two weeks. 

Enter My Mom

One day my mom came over to visit me, and she wanted to introduce herself to my boys and my friend since I had already told her about him. All she did was shake his hand and introduce herself. Two days later, I got the most hateful message from him early in the morning. He accused my mom and me of trying to start drama and said she came to his house unannounced. I was confused and hurt by all the hateful things sent to me.

Horribly Bullying

He called me a crazy psycho manipulative bitch and that he never wanted to see my face ever again. We were NEVER friends, the exact words that were texted to me. That was along with some other things I will not mention. I was at work at the time, so I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to cry and then compose myself the best I could. My hands were shaking, and I could feel my blood pressure rising with each nasty message. I was confused, hurt, and betrayed, and I seriously started believing everything he was saying to me.

Is This a Joke?

I honestly thought at first that it was a joke. That wasn’t him because my best friend would never say things like that to me. I profusely apologized even though I did nothing wrong, but he did not believe me. He said that I was not innocent and that I thought that I had never done anything wrong. I allowed myself to be sad for a little while. Then I had to get over it and finish out my shift so I could go home. Why? 

Seriously, Why me? 

Why do I always get into situations with people betraying me and my trust? I love fiercely, and I am loyal to the end. I would never do anything to hurt my friend. But he hurt me. He hurt me so badly that I felt like my chest would rip open. I was miserable for the next week or two. His friends would always come at me and send me nasty messages. I just took it all on my shoulders like I usually do. 

I need to stop doing things like that.

And that doesn’t make me a bad person. I am allowed to have feelings. To be sad and mourn my best friend, who I somehow alienated in my life. After I attended a church sermon one day, my pastor said something that resonated with me. It probed me to remember how badly he hurt me. He said that even though someone might have done us wrong, we must forgive. Also, pray that God will bless their lives abundantly. 

I started to cry thinking about all my past friendships that crashed and burned for whatever reason it was at the time. Then, I sent every single one of my so-called “friends” a message. It was a ‘to the point’ message which said exactly what I wanted to say. I did this in a kind and Christ-Like manner. I do not know if any of my friends even read that message. At least I sent it to them and forgave them.

Message to my “Friend”

I still see my neighbor around, and I also see him at work. Today, I will choose kindness. Also, I will choose to love still (as a friend). Furthermore, I will care about him even though it is hard. I will decide to make friends if God brings them into my life. Also, I will still love and be loyal to them no matter what comes my way. 

And to my friend, even though he says we are not friends, I hope you have a fruitful life. That you and your girlfriend are happy together is all I ever wanted for you. I want you to be happy and successful. Even if that means our friendship is at an end. That’s okay. I will be okay. Because my heart belongs to God, and I believe in his everlasting love for me.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Proposal

Brandi C

The Proposal

The Proposal

 

Now it is time to talk about The Proposal. After about two years, the man I was dating proposed to me at the park with no people around because I believed that proposals should be private. I had pushed so hard to be engaged because I wanted to be married, and I tried to find that love that I truly craved even though I should have been craving Jesus and his faithful and eternal love. We were engaged for only a few months before it happened. 

As I said, I do not believe in cheating, and I think it is cowardly to do to someone. One night, he and I had returned from a date, and he ran upstairs to get something from his apartment. I decided to go on his phone and take some pictures. Being the nosy person I was, I went through his text messages and found messages from a strange girl. She was only 16.

 

He Had Been Cheating on Me With a 16-Year-Old Girl.

 

I was shocked. Just shock. I turned his phone off, set it down, and waited for his return. When I questioned him about the messages, he instantly got defensive and said she was just a friend. Friends don’t ask for pictures of friends or that they wish they could kiss each other. I still remember sitting in his car, gripping my hands and digging my nails into my skin to keep from crying. I took his phone and immediately ran upstairs to the safety of my mom’s arms and showed her why I was sobbing like my heart was broken. Of course, he followed and tried to improve the situation, but my mom knew better than that. 

 

We Broke Up

 

I was heartbroken and still in shock. Honestly, I felt numb to all things in the world. I did not know any other pain except what I was feeling in my heart. You are fortunate and blessed if you have never experienced heartbreak like being cheated on by your fiance. He cheated on me not once, not twice, but three times. Three different women. 

I know I might be making this too big a deal, but I could not look at him the same at the time. Honestly, I gave him so many second chances. He begged for when he said he truly loved me. He did not understand why he cheated on me. I never got a clear answer as to why. That’s all I wanted to know. Why? What did I do wrong? Was I not pretty enough, smart enough, or thin enough? The girls he cheated on me with were beautiful. 

 

It’s Over

 

I told him that I could not do it anymore. I gave him the ring back and said to him that I would always love him and that he played a part in my life, but we needed to go our separate ways—the look in his eyes. I can still feel the pounding of my heart. I remember how clammy my hands felt and how I heard him storm out of the house and the screech of his tires down the road. 

I told my parents what had happened and I just broke down. I sobbed like I never had before. Do you know that feeling? I almost can not explain it. Three years I gave to this man, who was supposed to be my future husband, this person who I thought was my best friend and trusted partner. My grandmother and I had already put together my wedding bouquet. Then my mom and I had already looked at dresses. And all I could think about was why was I not good enough for him? Why me? What did I do to him that I deserved a cheater and a liar as a fiance?

 

Memories

 

So many memories that we created together to flush down the toilet. I was miserable for months, mainly since my ex-fiance lived in the same town as me, so I would see my ex constantly. I went through the stages of grief, and I was still not OK in the end. And to be honest, I do not think that I am OK with this. My ex’s mom blamed me for breaking his heart. His “friends” with me were confused and would not leave me alone. His brother messaged me as well. My ex blamed me and told me it was my fault that he cheated on me. Everything was my fault. And I claimed it. For a little while, he did not speak to me. 

 

Manipulation

 

One day we were texting for some reason, and he told me some terrifying things that he was going to do and that I could do nothing to help him, and that it was my fault. My mind spun out of control, and I started to have flashbacks of how manipulative he was to me when he got like this. Luckily, my mom and pastor handled the situation, and we did not speak much after that. After a few months, I ran him out of town, and I told him never to come back and talk to me again, or he would regret it. 

 

Consumed in Anger

 

The anger I felt towards him consumed my life, which turned into bitterness. Even now, I still see his patterns in men who try to date me. My life spun out of control, and I made very poor choices. I still do not understand how I could have been so stupid and blind to stay with him for as long as I did. And for the longest time, I despised him. 

I convinced myself that I did not fit the mold of a woman’s appearance. Dress like. Even act like in this modern world. I let myself go. Furthermore, I kept all of my emotions bottled up and stuffed deep down. I did this so I would not have to deal with the pain. Honestly, I think that I have kept it bottled up for so long. I have blocked out those memories so quickly that I am still crying while writing this piece.

The Hotline

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Happy Without You

Brandi C

The Pain of Losing a Friendship

Happy Without You

This young lady shares her feelings about losing a special friendship in Happy Without You. Friendships come and go like the ebbs and flows of the ocean. That is what I tell so many people because it puts in perspective that the things of this Earth are not forever. Yet, losing a friendship is so very hard. I always say you can either release them and enjoy the memories or hold onto them and be left with scars as Jesus rips them out of your hand.

 This story is written by a young lady who is experiencing the loss of her relationship with a friend. Her pain is evident, and this is her way of releasing those emotions healthily. I pray for peace and restoration for her and her friend. We always have to remember “but God.” He is the healer of all things in His time.

Happy Without You

 Happy Without You. Hey, you know that if you want to hang out with me, you can text me. I am not trying to make you think that I don’t give a shit about you. I would hate for you to feel that way. You know, you really should be careful of what you put out in this world. You could hurt someone. 

Hence the reason I have taken measures to prevent you from hurting me. And this is only one of many instances. I have to do this for my mental health. It was hard and hurtful to see and hear those things, these passive-aggressive, attention-seeking words that bore deep in my soul. 

My Offering and Your Response

I have offered to be friends, have fun, live our lives together, create things, and make things I knew you would like. And you decide to say some bullshit like that? And even if you didn’t mean it towards me, maybe it wasn’t your intent. Doesn’t matter. Still hurt. And sorry is not going to fix this. 

I am so sick and tired of your antics and your attention-seeking behavior. Do you even care about me? You haven’t once asked me how I have been. Not in all of this time. Not then and not now. Do you know how much that hurts? Honestly, do you know how badly I want someone I can trust? Do you know how badly I want to be your friend? 

Why Stop?

You quit texting me. Also, You stopped hanging out with me. You. Not me. This is your fault, not mine. It is all on you. You make things about yourself anyway, so why should this be any different? I feel unwelcome in your presence. Awkward is what I feel because I cannot trust you. I don’t know how to act around you. Honestly, I don’t know who you are anymore. And it is so hard that I can’t trust you anymore. 

My Reasons

So, do you want to know why I don’t make plans? Because every time I have tried, you find someone or something better for you to do. And that hurts. I would go above and beyond to make you feel welcome so you wouldn’t see my depression. So you wouldn’t have to see my anxiety. So you wouldn’t have to see my trauma. You don’t seem interested in hanging out with me. Do you ever try and point the finger at yourself? Or is it everyone else’s fault but yours? 

 

What Did I do?

 

What did I do to hurt you? Is this my fault after all? Everything is usually my fault; that comes from my trauma. But do you even care? No, you don’t bother to ask. I was there for you for everything. I helped you. I supported you. I loved you. And I got nothing in return. And I didn’t want anything. Because that is what true friendship is really like. Or have you forgotten? 

 

I don’t know who you are anymore, understand your thought process, and know why you have such disdain for me. Frankly, I don’t understand your words. I am hurt, and I can’t trust you. Trust is such a fickle thing for me. Once you break my trust, you are gone. And I gave you so many chances. But no more. I have tried and tried and tried some more to open myself up to you. 

 

What You Don’t Know

 

Do you know that I have been in trauma therapy for months? Do you know the horrors I have had to relive? Do you know how bad my depression has gotten? Do you know that I have panic attacks when I am triggered? Do you know that my anxiety is through the roof most of the time? No. BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE. You don’t care; otherwise, you would have said something. You would have asked. 

 

I want to be passive-aggressive back to you. I want to say something so passive-aggressive it makes your blood boil. So you could know what it feels like when you say something like what you did. But I am a bigger person. So I won’t do that. And that is ok. But I secretly want you to read this. I want you to know how badly you have hurt me. I want you to know how many hours I have cried over our friendship. I want you to know. 

 

I Have Always Loved You

 

But it is getting harder and harder to love you each day. I am heartbroken. It is your fault. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. You are one of the reasons why I don’t trust anyone. I trusted you, and you broke it. I felt betrayed and so alone. Do you know how badly I wanted to be your friend? Can you even fathom it? 

 

You are one of the Best People I Have Ever Known.

 

However, I don’t even recognize you anymore. It is not because I judge you. I never have and never will. I have done enough things that I am ashamed of, and I do not feel the need to judge every single person I meet. So if that’s why you hate me so much, get that thought out of your head. I have never judged you and never will. But you have changed. The person I thought cared about me doesn’t seem to exist anymore. 

 

Someone to Trust

 

I want someone to tell my story too. That is something I want. I desire that. But I can’t do that with you. You made sure of that. Trauma is a bitch. But I have been stuck in my little bubble for so long that it is hard for me to reach out. Because of the times, I have tried to reach out, I was judged and retreated into my bubble. And now, I am working through this messy middle of trauma therapy, which is not easy. Not that you care. Again, you never asked. 

 

So instead of blaming everyone else, why don’t you start blaming yourself? You pushed everyone away, the people closest to you. I was one of those people that you drove away. You are the definition of a guilt trip. You are such a triggering person. You gaslight people into thinking that it is their fault instead of yours. Your guilt and manipulation to get your way. In a way, I am better off without you. 

 

Without You

 

Without you, I would have survived my trauma. I got married without you. Without you, I got myself into treatment. I was blessed with the best gift anyone could ask for without you. It’s currently kicking inside of me now. Without you, I would have survived my suicidal ideations. I got myself medicated without you. Without you, I got my life back on track. I got closer to Jesus without you. All of these things I did without you. 

 

And you know what? I am a freaking fantastic person. And you are missing out. So peace, love, and Spock signal. I hope you are happy. Because I sure am. Happy without you. 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

Brandi C

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day

WARNING THIS COULD BE A TRIGGERING POST:  Today, September 10, 2020, is World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day.  Content in this issue contains information on death and dying, mental illness, and mental health crisis, which some readers may find triggering. If you need support at any time, please call or text 988, or the National Postpartum Depression Hotline at 1-800-PPD-MOMS.

#BEThe1To ASK

This can be a HARD thing to say.  For me, I don’t want to put that seed in their head, if it isn’t already there.  I do pray for discernment.  Simply say “How are you feeling?  Do you have anything in the home that can harm you?  Are you safe?  How can I help?  Do you feel the urge to do something unsafe to yourself.”

I always follow up those questions with truths.  “You are loved.  I love you.  You are my treasure.  There is hope.  Value to your life.”

#BeThe1To KEEP THEM SAFE

I usually show up, if I can.  There have been many hours spent cleaning my friends up while reminding them they are loved.  I have sat at hospitals for hours on end to just be present and remind them that they are loved and treasured.  This is a moment, this does not have to be their forever.  Sometimes, I have to be their voice when they are struggling to find their words.

#BeThe1To BE THERE

Did the people in the back hear this?  LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGMENT AND WITH COMPASSION AND EMPATHY.   This is NOT hard.  Just simply listen, support, encourage, and cry with them.  They don’t need you to fix it.  Honestly, they just need an ear.

#BeThe1To HELP THEM CONNECT

Know the number.  Call it for them, if they need you to.  Be the one who calls in the cavalry if you need to.  Give them a list of people that can listen and help.  Pastors, family, friends, therapists and then make sure they follow through!  Go with them if they need it.

#BeThe1To FOLLOW UP

When the crisis is over, for that moment, follow up and check on them.  Once a week, send an encouraging text.  Call.  Visit.  Somehow relay that you are so thankful that they are there and the purpose that they have in this life.  God is not done with them yet!

BEThe1To  You can save a life…just by asking!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Deaths in the United States

Brandi C

Suicide Deaths in the United States

These are some powerful visuals from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center.  The statistics are based on Suicide Deaths in the United States.  Please, stop and take a look.  More people have suicidal ideations than you think.  Sadly, some of these people may be your family or friends.

 

Suicide Deaths in the United States

From 2009 to 2018, the age-adjusted suicide death rate increased from 11.76 to 14.24 per 100,000 people. From 2009 to 2018, the rate increased from 19.23 to 22.79 per 100,000 for males. Among females, the rate increased from 4.88 in 2009 to 6.18 in 2018.

Suicides consistently outnumber homicides.

Suicide Deaths in the United States

 

The homicide rate has not consistently shown the upward trend that we see with the suicide rate.

Suicide Deaths in the United States

 

Suicide rates are generally highest in Alaska and in the western and northwestern United States, with the exception of southern California and parts of Washington. Rural counties generally have higher rates of suicide than urban counties.

References

  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics. (2020). 1999-2018 Wide-Ranging Online Data for Epidemiological Research (WONDER), Multiple Cause of Death files [Data file]. Retrieved from CDC Underlying Cause

  2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2008-2014, United States Smoothed Age-Adjusted Death Rates per 100,000 Population [map]. All Injury, Suicide, All Races, All Ethnicities, Both Sexes, All Ages. (January 2020). Retrieved from CDC

  3. Rosen, L. M., Hedegaard, H., Kahn, D., & Warner, M. (2018). County-level trends in suicide rates in the U.S., 2005–2015. American Journal of Preventive Medicine [3], 55(1), 72-79.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

You are Not Your Trauma

Brandi C

You are Not Your Trauma

Highlighting Stories of Survivors

In this story, you will read about a “boyfriend” who abuses his girlfriend. The phrase “You Are Not Your Trauma” has affected my heart so profoundly. As my heart was breaking for what this young girl had gone through, in the end, she knows Truth. What man used for evil, He will use for His glory. Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. I’m so proud of this young lady.

A TRUE story of this young lady being controlled, manipulated, abused, and her suicidal ideations. She is NOT a victim. This girl is a survivor and a child of the King. Please be mindful that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things if I leave comments.

The Beginning

I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I will start at the beginning. I had a very happy childhood; it was normal until it wasn’t. When I was about 14, almost 15, I was in a courtship with a person older than me. It seemed so innocent at the time. We were almost always supervised by my parents or his.

His Capabilities

When you are 14, you start being interested in boys and all that fun stuff. So it was nice to be noticed by someone of the opposite sex. I had no idea what he was capable of, and I am still finding out what he was capable of to this day. I honestly don’t know when it happened, but he emotionally and psychologically abused me. 

He also molested me. There, I said it. It’s not something I like to talk about at all. Some people in this world are super manipulators. They can play you and get inside your head; you have no idea what hit you. That’s what this person was like, a master manipulator. A snake. That’s a good word to use, the other ones I want to use involve curse words, and I do not think that is appropriate in this context. 

Fear

I was afraid. All the time. Fearful of making my abuser angry. Afraid of him hurting me. Afraid that one misstep would be the end. That fear came to a boiling point when he attempted to force me to kiss him by holding my face with a blanket over my head and pulling me towards him. I fought like hell, and he backed off. But that wasn’t the end. I knew that he would hurt me if I said anything. 

He didn’t even have to threaten me. He had such control over my mind that I knew without him saying anything. Then the molestation happened. I do not want to disclose that and don’t have to. I still didn’t say anything. I remember he came to my bedroom window after everyone was asleep and told me it was best if I didn’t tell anyone. That scared me. He scared me. 

Speaking Out

But I did eventually say something. And it didn’t end; I wanted it to end. I tried to forget everything that happened and never remembered it. Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. No, that is not how life works. Then the police were involved, which was also terrifying. Me, a 15-year-old child, being interviewed by a detective (who, by the way, is a wonderful person. I am forever grateful for how he helped me. Yet it is hard for me to talk to him now. He reminds me of what happened.) The person went away. I only saw him a few times after that.

But it Didn’t End

Even though he was gone, it didn’t end. I remember not even knowing what I liked to do. I didn’t even know who I was anymore without him. I tried to put this whole situation behind me. I “forgave” this person, but I didn’t because I did not understand the scope of the damage he did to me. 

Abuse, no matter the type, changes a person. It eats away at your brain. You get paranoid. Jumpy. Nowhere is safe. No one is safe. Trust is a prized commodity. If I bestowed my trust upon you, you better treat it respectfully. Because the moment you give me a reason not to trust you, you are gone. And there is no going back.

Returning to “Normal”

Growing up after that incident, my childhood returned to “normal.” But I didn’t feel normal. I felt out of place. My innocence was gone. I became very hyperactive. I could not sit still and chatter nonsensically, but the nights were the worst. I felt I needed to be doing something to avoid being still constantly. The nights were so bad. Alone at night with my thoughts, that’s when the dark would try to creep in. 

Moving On

When I got to college, I worked three jobs and took a huge class load. I was so depressed. I would fake being happy. Just put a smile on my face, and everything would be ok. But those dark memories I had repressed for so long kept creeping up on me. I began to have panic attacks and pain in places I had not experienced. These panic attacks stemmed from my trauma, but I didn’t know it. 

I got a big girl job right before I graduated college. I was over the moon. I was good at my job. I met someone, he was sweet, and I gave him some of my precious trust. I thought I was “happy .”But I wasn’t. Those master manipulator traits the person that hurt me had, this person had too. He would make jokes at my expense, gaslight me, and only care about the physical side of our relationship.

Another “Charmer”

Now this person was a real charmer; he decided to break up with me a few months before we were going to get married. I remember being so distraught. That beloved trust I had given him was disintegrating. It tore me to my core. It took so long to be able to “get over” him. I should also mention that I don’t trust. Shocker. I know. I am very distrustful of people that I do not know, especially men. I make it a point not to be alone with men if I can help. I do it almost subconsciously. I don’t even really think about it anymore. 

Spiraling Downward

Then I lost my job. I was so sad, so hopeless. I don’t even know why I lost that job. I had to move out of my apartment to another one. I didn’t have hardly any money after that move because it took almost all the money I had saved. My depression was at its height. 

My parents had to give me money to get by. I didn’t want their money. I didn’t want to ask, but they gave it anyway. I ended up searching for jobs and couldn’t find one. I interviewed for several, and nothing. I returned to a part-time position so I could have some money for my rent. And that was a comfort to me, going back to something familiar. 

But my panic attacks, anxiety, and depression were almost insurmountable. At this point, I thought there was something wrong with me. I had everything when I was a child. There was no reason for me to be this way. What is wrong with me? 

The Unexpected

I ended up finding a different job. I had to go away to training for weeks, only coming home for the weekends. At the time, I was dating other people. I dated some peculiar people. But at that training, I met the forever love of my life. Not expected. 

He is unlike any other man I have ever dated. He had no idea of the mental anguish that I suffered daily. I ended up marrying that man, still with this awful job that caused me to be physically ill because I did not want to be there. I still have flashbacks to that job and the horrible things I saw there. It was a dangerous job, unexpected. 

Because I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around everyone, I was constantly on my guard (typical for me, but this was a dangerous situation) for anything to happen. And that is just not the way that anyone should live. I got another job now, and I am so thankful for that one. 

Getting Help

At this time, my now husband encouraged me to go to counseling. And I did. But I didn’t go for the right reasons. I was fresh married, so we had a lot of getting used to each other. I was learning to trust again. And that was hard. I told this counselor what happened to me, but it was never the focus of what we discussed in sessions. It was helpful for the time. 

I was medicated from my first big girl job, which seemed to help a lot. However, I was on a lot of meds. A lot. Too much, and it affected me big time. I felt like a zombie, numb, and it was not an easy feeling. I quit going to that counselor because I thought I was all better now. 

Panic Attacks, Flashbacks, Intrusive Thoughts

Fast forward a few months, at home. Panic attacks run rampant. It got so much worse. I would lash out at my husband, and I didn’t mean to do that. He knew what happened to me, and one day I asked him if he thought it affected me, and he said it did. That struck me. 

My panic attacks were so severe that I would feel like I couldn’t move. I would scream and cry in fear. For some reason, my brain would revert to those fearful times and make it seem like they were happening again, even though I knew I was safe. I would just see his face. The one that hurt me. He never left. He was always there. 

I had the most intense flashbacks that I have ever had. And I realized. I wasn’t like this before this happened to me. I wasn’t hyperactive, I wasn’t depressed, I wasn’t anxious, and I didn’t deal with intrusive thoughts or compulsions. I didn’t obsess over every little thing. I didn’t have panic attacks. I realized that he caused all of this. But what was I to do? I constantly felt like I was not enough. 

Suicidal Ideations

Eventually, I went off my meds because I thought I was bett, which was a big mistake. I was fine for a while, but then I became numb. I didn’t care for the things I liked to do. I didn’t want to do anything but lay in bed all day long. My pain and anguish were so overwhelming that I didn’t think there was a way out. 

Some days I would feel everything. Then other days, I felt nothing. I was suicidal. I didn’t want to do it, but the thoughts were there. It would sit on my brain for hours. And hours. And hours. I was in so much pain. In such a deep, dark tunnel, I thought no one could reach me. I was ashamed of what I felt. When I told my mom and my husband, I feared they would be angry with me. But they weren’t. They worked out a safety plan with me. 

When Most People Think of Suicidality

They think well that person is selfish. That person is crazy. That person needs to be in an institution somewhere. I hate all of that. It is not ok. This stigma surrounds people who have suicidal ideations. The people that are suicidal are not crazy. They are hurting. They are in a mental anguish that you will never understand. 

They need love and support, not to be told they are selfish or crazy. Not to be brushed off as, oh well, you can’t be that depressed. I was told by some people well; you don’t look depressed. You don’t have anxiety. You can’t. Look at all you have; you can’t be depressed when you have all of this. Just exercise. That will fix it. LET GO AND LET GOD. Ughhh, how I hate that phrase. 

Just Listen

Letting it go is not easy. It doesn’t work. If it worked, I would have been “cured” long ago. My trauma would have just disappeared if letting goes worked. But it doesn’t, so do everyone around you a favor and stop saying that. Just. Stop. Take it out of your vocabulary. Also, while you are at it, take out this one: “God won’t give you anything that you can’t handle.” 

God gives us stuff we can’t handle so He can be the one to handle it. I have had to let myself be weak so God can be stronger. And that is not an easy thing to do. So stop saying all these fluffy phrases because you have no idea what people around you are walking through in their lives. 

Unless you are willing to walk through the fire in their place, just be there as a support. But don’t tell them everything will be fine, don’t try to fluff things up. Just be there. Just listen without judgment. I repeat: JUST LISTEN. 

Fast Forward

Now that my soapbox is over, fast forward to the beginning of this year. I had the realization, the aha moment, that my trauma caused all of my pain. All of my mental illnesses. All of it. So I made the courageous step to seek out a trauma counselor. She is wonderful. I bonded with her immediately. She understood and didn’t judge me like so many people have. She listens and lets me cry. She makes observations that make so much sense. She tells me I need to re-parent that 14 years old because she is still there. Desperate for help. She helped me with my safety plan. 

I had the support of her, my mom, and my husband. I got closer to Jesus. He helped me realize that even though I was going through a dark tunnel, he was there. He would pull me out. He was right there the whole time. And it was Jesus who pushed me to get into trauma therapy. While it is hard to revisit those awful things that happened to me, I feel more at peace than ever. I got back on my meds. 

Good and Bad Days

I have good days and bad days. But more good than bad. Trauma processing is something that needs to happen. Because when trauma occurs, our brains do not file those memories away as they are supposed to. So I have to revisit every memory and refile it correctly so I won’t be as affected. It will always be there, it is a part of my story, but I no longer have to fear it. God wants all of me, even the parts I don’t want him to have. He has brought all those fears and memories into the light, so I don’t have to hide them anymore. 

Seek Help

So, for those reading this that are in pain and suffering. Seek help. You will find it. You don’t have to go through life alone. If you are suffering, talk to me. Or find someone you trust and talk to them. If you need medication to get by, then do it. Ignore the stigma behind being medicated. 

Many intelligent people in this world have figured out that mental illness is caused by brain chemicals not being balanced. So meds are there to help you balance your chemicals. Do not beat yourself up for taking meds. Just don’t do it. I did, and it isn’t worth it. It is there for a reason. There is no need to feel ashamed about taking medication. 

If you need to go to therapy, then do it. It is not easy, but don’t feel you have to give your whole life story the first time you meet your therapist. If you don’t like them, find someone else. Get to know them, and make sure they are a good fit. 

You Are Not Your Trauma

Do not lose hope. Even when you think there is no hope, there is always a sliver. Know that you are not your trauma. Know that you are not your past. No matter what you have done, know that you are loved. If you think no one else loves you, talk to me. If I am the only one, then so be it. You have someone that loves you. Your life is too precious to be taken so soon. You have a purpose in this world. You just may not have found it yet. Don’t lose hope. 

Listen Without Judgement

And for those reading this who are fortunate enough not to have any trauma or mental illness. This is for you. Listen without judgment. If someone trusts you enough to talk to you about tough shit, do not take that for granted. These people are reaching out to you; take their hand and walk with them. 

Don’t fluff up the situation. For Pete’s sake, quit saying let go, let God. Just listen and try to put yourself in their shoes. If someone is acting strange, not like themselves, don’t ignore that. Strike up a conversation. Ask them if they are alright. They may lie, but don’t ignore the warning signs. Keep talking to them, and let them know they are loved and appreciated. Tell them that you are there for them if they need someone. Just listen and love. Get rid of your stigma against suicide, mental health, therapy, and medication. Educate yourselves. The more you know, the better prepared you will be. 

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Brandi C

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

 

Resources that Can Help with Suicide Prevention

Suicide is a topic that is near to my heart. This month is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Specifically, if you think someone you know is in danger, call 911! Make sure they seek help. During an escalated situation, sometimes mental clarity can get in the way. For that reason, recognize the problem. Therefore, be prepared and have numbers handy. For that reason, understand that the person you are helping can cause friction. During this friction time, do not be offended by what could be said to you. By making the phone call and intervening, you are saving another person’s life. Specifically, your friend’s life. Also, do not disappear. Firstly, the person you are helping feels abandoned. Secondly, by staying with them, you are showing them they are still loved. More often than not, this act is as important as that first phone call of help.

1. Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)

Website: http://www.sprc.org/ Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Subsequently, the (SPRC) is the only federally supported resource center.

2. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

Website: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention/index.shtml

The National Institute of Mental Health is the lead federal agency for research on mental disorders.  Firstly, they want to help people understand mental illness.  Secondly, the treatment of this illness.

3. Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide (SPTS)

Website: http://www.sptsusa.org/

Teen suicide is a growing problem in America.  Consequently, SPTS is a nonprofit organization.

4. Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention

Website: http://actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/resources

This is a public and private alliance of organizations.

5. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)

Website: https://afsp.org/find-support/resources/

The AFSP website has a long list of resources.  It also provides help to people who have lost loved ones to suicide.

6. Crisis Text Line

Website: https://www.crisistextline.org/  Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741

Teens are often more comfortable texting than talking on the telephone. They will help de-escalate individuals who are considering suicide.

7. HelpGuide

Website: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

HelpGuide provides information on a wide variety of mental health issues.

8. Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE)

Website: https://save.org/  Crisis line: 1-800-273-8255

Founded by a mother who lost her daughter to suicide in 1979.  SAVE’s mission is to help prevent suicide.

9. The Trevor Project

Website: www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Trevor Project was founded in 1998.  These services help LGBTQ+ young people under 25.

10. For My Spanish-Speaking Visitors

Please click on the Las Disparidades Raciales en el Tratamiento de la Salud Mental: Investigación y Recursos.  Also, thank you to Sarah Martell at Web Advocates for the link and information.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Brandi C

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Tough but Important

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  Suicide…that word makes my heart jump in my throat and I have an immediate physical reaction.  People are so afraid to talk about this subject because they may be afraid it could “trigger” someone.  That is a valid fear!  Yet, fear is a liar!

My life has been touched by suicide so much.  There are many hospital beds I have sat next to.  Hands I have held.  Families I have cried with.  Prayers that I’ve prayed.  Funerals that I have attended.

Please know this is so difficult but so important to discuss.  Mental health problems should not be hidden.  The stigma should be ended and judgment of others should be thrown out the window.

If you have a story you want to share, please email me at barefootfaithjourney@gmail.com and I will be happy to anonymously (if you choose) use your story on my blog.

You are loved.  Worthy.  You are created in the image of Jesus.  Your story IS NOT finished.

Q: How common is suicide in children and teens?

A: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that in 2014, suicide was the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10–24. Although these numbers may make suicide seem common, it is still a rare event. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors are more common than suicide deaths and are signs of extreme distress. Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are not harmless bids for attention and should not be ignored.

Q: What are some of the risk factors for suicide?

A: Risk factors vary with age, gender, or ethnic group and may change over time. Some factors that increase an individual’s risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors are:

  • Depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders
  • Substance abuse disorder
  • Chronic pain
  • Prior suicide attempt
  • Family history of suicide
  • Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
  • Firearms in the home
  • Having recently been released from jail or prison
  • Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, such as family members or peers

It is important to note that many people who have these risk factors are not suicidal.

Q: What are the warning signs?

A: The following are some of the signs you might notice in yourself or a friend that may be the reason for concern:

  • Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill oneself
  • Making a plan or looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online
  • Buying a gun, or stockpiling pills
  • Feeling empty, hopeless, or feeling like there is no reason to live
  • Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
  • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Withdrawing from family or friends or feeling isolated
  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  • Displaying extreme mood swings
  • Saying goodbye to loved ones, putting affairs in order.

Seeking help is a sign of strength; if you are concerned, go with your instincts and seek professional help.

Reaching out to a friend you are concerned about is also a sign of strength.

What can I do for myself or someone else?

A: Immediate action is very important. Here are a few resources:

  • You can call or text 988 confidential help 24-hours-a-day. You also can visit the Lifeline’s website at 988 Lifeline
  • Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, press 1
  • Crisis Text Line: text START to 741-741
  • Help for Mental Illnesses: National Institute of Mental Health web page www.nimh.nih.gov/findhelp
  • Treatment Referral Routing Service: 1-800-662-HELP (4357), funded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Q: What if someone seems suicidal on social media?

A: Many social media outlets, including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Google+, have ways to report suicidal content and get help for the content creator. Each social media site has a different procedure, so search the site’s help page for assistance.

Q: What if I want to write a story about suicide?

A: Great idea! Here are suggestions for reporting on suicide: http://reportingonsuicide.org/.

Q: Where can I go for more information on suicide prevention?

A: You can:

Visit the National Library of Medicine’s MedlinePlus,
English: www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus
En Español: www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/spanish