Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind

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Emotional Self-Care: Tending to Your Heart and Mind

Life can be overwhelming, and in the midst of caring for everyone else, we often forget to take care of ourselves—especially when it comes to our emotions. Emotional self-care is just as vital as physical self-care. It helps us process feelings, release stress, and nurture our well-being. If you’re feeling drained, here are some simple yet powerful ways to tend to your emotional health. Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind is also imperative to your overall health.

1. Watch a Funny Movie

Laughter truly is medicine for the soul. Whether it’s a classic comedy, a stand-up special, or a silly sitcom, laughter releases endorphins—the brain’s natural feel-good chemicals. Give yourself permission to escape reality for a bit and enjoy something lighthearted. Your heart will thank you!

2. Express Your Feelings

Holding in emotions can be exhausting. Whether you prefer journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or creating art, finding an outlet to express your emotions is essential. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they just build up. Let them out in a healthy way and lighten your emotional load.

3. Smile More

Even when you don’t feel like it, smiling can shift your mood. Research suggests that the simple act of smiling—yes, even a forced smile—can trick your brain into feeling happier. Try it in the mirror, share a smile with a stranger, or reflect on a joyful memory. Small moments of happiness add up!

4. Cry It Out

Crying is not a sign of weakness—it’s a natural and healthy release. Tears help process deep emotions, reduce stress, and even remove toxins from the body. If you feel the tears coming, let them flow. There’s healing in allowing yourself to fully feel and release what’s weighing on your heart.

5. Prioritize Rest and Relaxation

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your emotional well-being is simply to rest. Whether it’s getting a good night’s sleep, taking a nap, or just pausing for a moment of stillness, your emotions need downtime too. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people and environments we engage with have a profound impact on our emotions. Seek out supportive, uplifting relationships. Engage in activities that bring joy and peace. If something is draining you, it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your emotional energy.

7. Practice Gratitude

Focusing on what we’re thankful for can shift our perspective and elevate our mood. Try keeping a gratitude journal or simply reflecting on three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude helps reframe challenges and reminds us of the beauty in our lives.

Your emotions matter. Taking time to nurture your heart and mind is not selfish—it’s necessary. The more you care for yourself emotionally, the better equipped you’ll be to show up for those around you. So, go ahead—laugh, cry, smile, rest, and express yourself freely. You deserve it!

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

The Importance of Little Acts of Kindness

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The Importance of Little Acts of Kindness

In a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming, kindness is a powerful force. And while grand gestures are beautiful, it’s the small, everyday acts of kindness that truly make a difference. A smile, a kind word, a simple act of generosity—these things may seem small, but they have the power to change someone’s day.

Kindness doesn’t have to be complicated. Holding the door open, offering a genuine compliment, checking in on a friend, or even just listening can mean the world to someone who is struggling. The truth is, we never really know what battles others are fighting. A small act of kindness might be exactly what they need to keep going.

Why do little acts of kindness matter?

  1. They create ripple effects. One kind act can inspire another, spreading positivity further than we can imagine.
  2. They remind people they are seen. In a world where so many feel invisible, kindness says, “You matter.”
  3. They improve mental health. Both the giver and the receiver of kindness experience increased happiness and reduced stress.
  4. They strengthen connections. Simple acts of kindness build relationships, communities, and a more compassionate world.

The best part? Kindness costs nothing, yet it’s one of the most valuable things we can offer. You never know how much a small gesture can impact someone’s life. A kind word could be the encouragement they need. A simple smile could be the reminder that there is still good in the world.

So today, choose kindness. Be the reason someone believes in goodness. Your little acts of kindness might not seem like much, but to someone else, they could mean everything.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Take a Breath

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Take a Breath: You Are Not Alone

Sometimes, we all need to take a breath. Life can be overwhelming—finances, family responsibilities, work pressures, church commitments, and the everyday challenges of simply existing can pile up quickly. It’s easy to feel like you’re drowning, trying to juggle it all while keeping a brave face. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to do it alone.

Your support system—friends, family, church, or close colleagues—can be a tremendous source of comfort. Lean into them. Let them lift you up when you’re struggling. But sometimes, even the best support system isn’t enough. And that’s okay. There’s no shame in needing more than what your inner circle can provide.

When life feels too heavy, reach out. Call a counselor, a therapist, or a pastor. There are people who are trained to help you process, heal, and find a path forward. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of strength and self-care. You were never meant to carry the weight of the world alone.

We get one shot at life. There are no “do-overs.” That doesn’t mean you have to get it all right the first time, but it does mean that every moment matters. Don’t waste time feeling guilty for needing help. Don’t spend years believing that struggle is just “the way it is.” You deserve more than just surviving—you deserve to thrive.

So, take a breath. Love yourself. Love others. And remember, you are never alone.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

Integrity

Integrity

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This is something I tell my kids (and myself) on, almost, a daily basis. This is the definition of integrity. Once you realize that everyone you encounter is not just by happenstance, it is directly ordained by God. You can take every moment captive and when you make eye contact with someone, pray for peace in their lives. Say that “breath” prayer because behind that smile, those fancy clothes, the ragged clothes, the haggard or dirty looks you may be getting from that person…there is a story. You don’t have to know the details to do the right thing and choosing kindness.
A breath prayer is just that…one breath. “Jesus, give them peace.” It is simple, focused, and to the point. Some people think you need to be in a 3 piece suit and speak like King James spoke with all the “thou art” type phrases. Talk to Jesus like you talk to yourself or to a friend. When I am having a big moment and I am going to pray out loud is to say “in the Name of Jesus, satan and all his friends must leave” and then it is game on LOL.
 
On a joyful note…Happy birthday to my sweet daughter and my mother-in-law. The joy that they both bring to my life is unexplainable. I’m thankful we get to celebrate them.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services

Just a Funny for the Day

Just a Funny for the Day

Just a Funny for the Day

Here is just a funny for the day. I look at this picture and when I am in session, as the therapist, I can very much separate all the parts and create individual balls of yarn for my client. However, when it is time for me to be the client, the roles are reversed because I cannot unwind my own balls of yarn. Weird how that happens but thankful for my, personal, therapist!

On a side note: Happiest of birthdays to my favorite daughter-in-law, Margaret! Much love to you, sweet girl.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

Be Kind

Be Kind

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I just love this quote. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind to someone. A professor once made a statement that was so profound that it stayed with me. This was said over 10 years ago. She said “Sometimes in life, you will be the only Jesus with skin on a person may see.” I have not always lived that phrase out and sometimes my face certainly doesn’t live it out but I do try. I find it easier with strangers because I don’t have emotional ties/connections or a history with a stranger.

Usually, I can strike up a conversation, smile at someone, buy the person behind me in the drive-thru their food, etc. with no problems at all. People (friends, family, and strangers) are quick to judge others by their appearance, a misread text, the look on their face, or what they are wearing. Before you judge another, stop and think. You may have entered that person’s bubble on one of the worst moments of their lives.

They are full of emotion inside but evoking a mean look or a disheveled appearance on the outside. Instead of lashing out, silently pray for them or smile…small gestures can go very far in a hurting soul. Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.”

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Guest Blogger

Guest Blogger: From First Steps to Graduation

From first steps to graduation

From First Steps to Graduation: A Parent’s Handbook for Every Age

Parenting is a dynamic journey that evolves with each child’s developmental stage. Equipping oneself with tailored strategies is crucial for addressing the diverse challenges and milestones. This article offers practical advice to help parents adeptly navigate these complexities.

Embracing Early Childhood (0-5 Years)

In the early years, children are absorbing the world around them at a rapid pace. Parents can take proactive steps to ensure these formative years are enriching and educational.

Growing Through Elementary Years (6-12 Years)

As children enter school age, their social and academic worlds expand significantly. Here’s how you can help them navigate these crucial years.

Navigating Adolescence (13-18 Years)

The teenage years can be tumultuous as children seek independence and deal with physical, emotional, and social changes.

Preparing for Young Adulthood (19+ Years)

As children transition into adulthood, they need guidance to navigate the complexities of the adult world.

Self-Care for Parents

Parenting can be exhausting, and parents must take care of themselves, too. Here are some ways to maintain your health and well-being.

The parenting journey is enriching and challenging, shaping children and parents alike. With the right tools and knowledge, parents can effectively support their child’s journey from infancy to adulthood. Embrace each step confidently, fostering a nurturing environment encouraging growth and resilience.

End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

When the Silence is Deafening

When the Silence is Deafening

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When silence becomes deafening, emotions can shift from moment to moment. Some days, it feels like they change by the minute. Lately, the silence has been so loud that I can’t hear myself think. It’s like when my aunt can’t smell anything because the noise around her is too overwhelming—strange, isn’t it? Even as I write this, I’m reflecting on how I got here.

On Juneteenth, my friend took her last breath here on earth. In July, my sweet granny passed away. Then, one year to the date after my granny’s death, my father-in-law died. My Lady’s birthday falls in July, but her death anniversary is on October 1st. A friend celebrated her birthday on October 6th, but she passed away on October 15th a few years ago. Although these deaths happened years ago, they feel like they just occurred yesterday.

In a crisis, I tend to be focused—quiet, but focused. I do what needs to be done, helping where I can. But it’s during the stillness of the night, when I’m not juggling multiple tasks, that everything shifts. It’s when I allow myself to be still that the grief and pain I’ve buried deep inside begin to surface.

I don’t like the silence.

It’s in that silence when I realize how much hurt and grief I’ve been holding in. My greatest fear is that if I stop, if I let myself feel, I’ll start crying and never stop. It’s difficult for me to reach out and be vulnerable, to cry in front of someone. I fear judgment, explaining myself, or making the pain I’ve held in feel too real once I speak it aloud.

Not long ago, I reached out to a friend. It felt strange. I had been alone that night, crying for hours. Then, I stopped and dialed her number. She’s the one person who rarely answers because she’s a busy mom with her own life, so I assumed she wouldn’t answer.

She answered.

No words came out of my mouth. All I did was cry. She listened and she didn’t ask questions or offer “it’ll be okay” statements. Honestly, she just listened to me cry. Afterward, I managed to say the many things that had been plaguing my heart. I didn’t want her to fix anything; I knew she couldn’t. All I needed was for her to listen and love me, without any judgment or unsolicited advice.

October 1st was another difficult day. I made it to work for about two hours before I couldn’t go any further. I left, called my mom, and pretended everything was fine, but she knew. She always knows. I kept the conversation together and then came home and slept.

Off to the Hills

I spent the rest of the day crying off and on, then called my mom again, asking if I could come over. She was busy but said she’d be home soon and I could come over then. I got in the car, feeling like I couldn’t breathe or hold it together. I told my husband I was leaving, not knowing when or if I’d be back that night.

It was a beautiful evening, so I rolled the windows down and drove. In the past, when we lived in our old house, I would go on drives like this to clear my head. There was no pressure to be a wife or a mom. I’d drive for hours, seeing new places, exploring new roads. Sometimes, a kid would join me, and we’d go on adventures. Once, I ended up in Dukedom, TN.

Visiting Granny

On that particular night, I drove on unfamiliar roads and ended up near Lovelaceville—close to my granny’s house. I took the “old way” and passed by the new houses. The familiar music stirred my emotions, and I cried even harder. Memories flooded back of driving down that road with her. My mind was a mess, and my body couldn’t hold back the tears.

I ended up at the cemetery where my granny, grandfather, uncle, aunt, and cousin are buried. I hadn’t been there in a long time. My heart longed for her presence—the wisdom she offered, the laughter she shared, the way she could solve my problems with a game of Scrabble, some juicy fruit gum, and a surprise bowl of ice cream.

Cortisol Break

I’m in the middle of a “cortisol break” as I sit here, tears dripping down my face. It’s a moment where the weight of everything comes rushing in, and I need time to collect myself.

I’ve been working through this for days, writing down my feelings. Right now, I’m listening to Made for More while holding onto the baby blanket my granny made for me. It’s my comfort—a kind of emotional support quilt. It’s full of holes, tears, and stains, but it’s mine. It makes me feel loved. It’s incredible how an object can do that.

Deafening Silence

The silence is the hardest part for me. It’s when the noise fades that the unresolved grief starts to surface. When my granny passed, I had just gained custody of two kids, only to lose her and them shortly after. When my father-in-law died, we hadn’t spoken for six months due to a misunderstanding. After LA passed, I couldn’t go to her funeral because my son needed chemotherapy. When my Lady died, my son was struggling with OMS, and my dad had a stroke, so I couldn’t process her death. And when Donna passed, that night was filled with pain in more ways than one.

There’s so much I’ve never processed, and the recent losses only add to it. If I could just trust in God’s faithfulness, maybe this pain wouldn’t feel so overwhelming. I know His word is true, and I do believe in it. But in my life, I struggle to see hope. I feel trapped, like I’m walking through mud. It’s hard to see a way out. If I don’t allow myself to feel, to sit in the silence and process, I don’t know what will happen. Maybe I’ll implode.

“Made For More”
(feat. Jenn Johnson)

I know who I am ’cause I know who You are.
The cross of salvation was only the start.
Now I am chosen, free and forgiven.
I have a future and it’s worth the living’.
Cause I wasn’t made to be tending a grave.
I was called by name.
Born and raised back to life again.
I was made for more.
So why would I make a bed in my shame.
When a fountain of grace is running my way.
I know I am Yours
And I was made for more.

Oh hallelujah.
You called out my name.
So I’ll sing out Your praise.
Hallelujah.
You buried my past
And I’m not going back.

 

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Ghost from Juneteenth Past

The Ghost from Juneteenth Past

The Ghost from Juneteenth Past
Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

Trigger warning If you or someone you know has struggled with suicidal ideations or attempts, please refrain from reading this content. Seek help! “Today, “988” is the three-digit, nationwide phone number to connect directly to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. By calling or texting 988, you’ll connect with mental health professionals from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Veterans can press “1” after dialing 988 to connect directly to the Veterans Crisis Lifeline, serving our nation’s Veterans, service members, National Guard, and Reserve members, and those who support them. For texts, Veterans should continue to text the Veterans Crisis Lifeline short code: 838255.”


Juneteenth

When you hear the phrase “Juneteenth,” what comes to mind? For some, it might be a day of little significance. For others, it is a deeply revered and celebrated day. According to Wikipedia, “Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, and Cel-Liberation Day, is an American holiday celebrated on June 19. On June 19, 1865, the Emancipation Proclamation, which had been issued on January 1, 1863, was read to enslaved African Americans in Texas by Gordon Granger.” That is a monumental moment in history! For me, I celebrate it, knowing what it means to my son, my nephews, and those I love. However, Juneteenth is also a dark day for me personally.

Loss and Grief

On June 19th, my friend passed away. LA was a firecracker. She was loud, her laugh could fill a room, and she loved her kids fiercely. LA was a fighter, loved by many, yet at times, she didn’t feel that love. She struggled with guilt and addiction. LA loved Jesus, her dad’s mini pecan pies, her children, her dogs, rabbits, and that smelly turtle in a tank. I loved her so very much.

Grief ebbs and flows. There are times when grief is so thick you can hardly breathe, and other times, you learn to live life again—until the nightmares come, rocking you to your core. Lately, I’ve had fleeting memories that make me smile, and the nightmares have mostly subsided.

The Ghost of Juneteenth

Today, as I walked into the clinic, I was greeted by the beautiful, smiling faces of people I’ve come to love. These faces are full of joy, hope, some sadness, and a lot of grit and determination. As I scanned the room, my eyes landed on a new face.

I caught myself inhaling sharply. The woman in front of me was dressed head-to-toe in hot pink—her hair, her eyes, her clothes, her voice—it was all LA. I swallowed hard and took a seat next to a familiar face while I gathered myself. I decided to take charge of the situation and avoided making eye contact for the rest of the day.

After finishing my rounds, I pulled the new person aside. We walked outside to get some fresh air. I sat mostly in silence as we spent time together, but toward the end, I felt myself choking up, overwhelmed with a sense of love and protection for her. In that moment, she hugged me so tightly, and we both began to sob. She couldn’t control her sobs, and I let mine flow too.

In That Moment

That moment brought me back to the slab where my friend lay, and I found myself wiping the dirt off her body. I was brushing and braiding her hair, speaking to her softly, telling her how worthy and loved she was. On June 19th, 2018, I was preparing her for her mother, brother, and children to see her one last time.

Today, in that room, I felt like I was hugging her again, weeping for her and with her, telling her she was worthy and loved. I longed to hold her longer, to tell her more about her children and grandchildren, but I remembered this wasn’t my LA.

The Lord has stirred up my grief, and I know I’ll need to confront this over the next month. During this time, I pray for healing—for my mind and my heart. I also pray for comfort for her children, brother, and grandchildren. I pray that I can make a difference in someone else’s life through this process.

Remembering

LA, I loved you fiercely in life, and I love you still. I’m so sorry that you felt alone and unloved in those final moments. I close my eyes, and I can still see your smile. Honestly, I can smell your hair, your fresh tattoo, and the detergent on your clothes. I can still hear the voices of your children, mom, and brother on that day. They loved you so much, and they still do. You are worthy, you are loved, and the world was better because you were in it.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

Being who I am that I do not have many friends. It is hard for me to open up to other people because of how often I have been used. Also, for being backstabbed by these so-called “friends.” My circle of friends is tiny due to this issue I have had in the past. 

I have maybe four close friends who care about me and my well-being. I would do anything for them. Honestly, I am loyal to the end. I find it hard to let go, especially when potential long-lasting friendships end. I also tend to take on my friends’ problems. Sadly, I claim that I am the cause of their issues. I will just as quickly take the blame for everything rather than have them take responsibility. 

This One “Friend”

This one “friend” is currently my co-worker and, unfortunately, my neighbor. The first night shift we worked together, we instantly clicked. We became comfortable with each other, which is incredibly rare for me. As the days went on, we constantly texted about work and life. We would hang out at my place and watch movies on our days off. His friends and family became comfortable with me as we continued to hang out. Working together was a blast since we got along, and the kids enjoyed it when we both worked on the same day.

Tragic Event

He was always there for me when I needed him. There was a massive party at the apartment where I used to live. There were easily at least 200+ party-goers. Having a party, this size goes against the contract of the apartment complex. Unfortunately, the party got out of hand. There was a tragic event that turned the party into a nightmare. 

My anxiety was at an all-time high, and I needed to get out of there. My friend came to rescue me as quickly as he could. He was so understanding and was there to help distract me from this event. My friend insisted that I did not return to my apartment until things calmed down and the police finished their investigations.

Maude, My Orphan Kitty

My friend also supported me when my little orphan kitten died that I was trying to bottle feed after her mom rejected her. I stayed up late at night and took that little kitten with me literally everywhere, we eventually had a routine, and I was so proud of how she was progressing. I do not do well when animals die, especially if I am the one dedicated to their health and well-being. The baby passed away, and I was heartbroken. My friend was with me, and he took the kitten and buried her for me since I could not do it myself. 

I Told Him Everything

We did not have secrets, and we knew each other pretty well. My ‘friend’ was concerned for my mental health and physical health since the job profession we work in is extremely taxing for someone with mental health issues. I was grateful to have someone to talk to who has some of the same problems that I struggle with daily. This person was the true definition of an absolute best friend, or so I thought. 

We did not date even though he admitted having feelings for me that I could not reciprocate for personal reasons. But we remained best friends for a long time, that is, until his current girlfriend came back into his life. They had dated once in the past. I was supportive. I still wanted to hang out with him, and I also wanted to get to know his girlfriend because I was trying to be supportive of their relationship. 

All of a Sudden

He stopped talking to me, and he did not use text or call me at all. I had no clue what I did wrong to make him not talk to me because we spent almost every day together. Things just got worse from that point. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to acknowledge my existence and futile attempts to get him to speak to me. 

I admitted to him that I was jealous that he spent every day with his new girlfriend and that she moved in with him only two weeks after their dating. Not jealous in the love sort of way but jealous that my best friend put all of his attention on just his girlfriend and nobody else. 

Then One Night

One night I was walking my dog, and he was outside on his back patio with his sister and girlfriend. I did not say a single word to him. He shouted from his yard that he needed to say something to me and let me have it. He told me never to talk to his friends or family again and that if I had something to say, I should say it to his face. 

Instantly I got defensive and shouted back an obscene comment while rushing back to my apartment. Granted, I should have handled that situation with better decorum, but I was unprepared for that verbal attack. This ‘friend’ would text me nasty things, and his girlfriend even got in on the action and told me to stop talking to her boyfriend or things would get worse for me. I did not know how to handle this situation, so I ignored him. 

My Depression and Anxiety

My depression was through the roof, and my anxiety about the whole scenario kept my mind running in 20 different directions. My ‘friend’ drunk-dialed me one night, and I just broke down and told him everything I felt and how betrayed I felt about the whole situation. He blamed me for his drinking and dipping problem, and he said that I was the one that caused drama between him and his friends and family. Being the person I am, I claimed his problems as my own. I honestly believed that our entire friendship had been some one-way street and that I had caused all his problems. 

Eventually

After we were mature and decided to end our silly feud when we would work together, he started talking to me more, and we fell back into our usual best friend ways. He said that his girlfriend did not like me, and she did not like the fact that we would hang out all the time and text each other constantly. I told him that if she was threatened by me trying to “break up their relationship,” I could never do that to someone. I’m not that kind of person. And I reiterated that I will still support and care about him because he played a part in my life whether I wanted it to happen or not.

I Missed my Best Friend

I told him I missed my best friend, and I honestly did. I missed the days we would hang out together, be goofy, and have fun with our two dogs. The thing is, is that I hold onto the people that come into my life. I try to make any situation better by offering to help however I can at the time. My friend kept in contact with me, but we never actually hung out except when we worked together at the boy’s house. He fell into a bad depressive state, and I tried my best to be there for him since I know how rough it can be when you get in that depressive state. 

One Random Night

His girlfriend added me on Snapchat and sent me a message. I dreaded opening it because I hated confrontation. We talked for a long time, and we were okay. I explained that I did not have feelings for him other than feelings of being a best friend and that I was not trying to break up their relationship. I called my friend and told him what she said and how everything was good between us again. Everything was fine for the next two weeks. 

Enter My Mom

One day my mom came over to visit me, and she wanted to introduce herself to my boys and my friend since I had already told her about him. All she did was shake his hand and introduce herself. Two days later, I got the most hateful message from him early in the morning. He accused my mom and me of trying to start drama and said she came to his house unannounced. I was confused and hurt by all the hateful things sent to me.

Horribly Bullying

He called me a crazy psycho manipulative bitch and that he never wanted to see my face ever again. We were NEVER friends, the exact words that were texted to me. That was along with some other things I will not mention. I was at work at the time, so I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to cry and then compose myself the best I could. My hands were shaking, and I could feel my blood pressure rising with each nasty message. I was confused, hurt, and betrayed, and I seriously started believing everything he was saying to me.

Is This a Joke?

I honestly thought at first that it was a joke. That wasn’t him because my best friend would never say things like that to me. I profusely apologized even though I did nothing wrong, but he did not believe me. He said that I was not innocent and that I thought that I had never done anything wrong. I allowed myself to be sad for a little while. Then I had to get over it and finish out my shift so I could go home. Why? 

Seriously, Why me? 

Why do I always get into situations with people betraying me and my trust? I love fiercely, and I am loyal to the end. I would never do anything to hurt my friend. But he hurt me. He hurt me so badly that I felt like my chest would rip open. I was miserable for the next week or two. His friends would always come at me and send me nasty messages. I just took it all on my shoulders like I usually do. 

I need to stop doing things like that.

And that doesn’t make me a bad person. I am allowed to have feelings. To be sad and mourn my best friend, who I somehow alienated in my life. After I attended a church sermon one day, my pastor said something that resonated with me. It probed me to remember how badly he hurt me. He said that even though someone might have done us wrong, we must forgive. Also, pray that God will bless their lives abundantly. 

I started to cry thinking about all my past friendships that crashed and burned for whatever reason it was at the time. Then, I sent every single one of my so-called “friends” a message. It was a ‘to the point’ message which said exactly what I wanted to say. I did this in a kind and Christ-Like manner. I do not know if any of my friends even read that message. At least I sent it to them and forgave them.

Message to my “Friend”

I still see my neighbor around, and I also see him at work. Today, I will choose kindness. Also, I will choose to love still (as a friend). Furthermore, I will care about him even though it is hard. I will decide to make friends if God brings them into my life. Also, I will still love and be loyal to them no matter what comes my way. 

And to my friend, even though he says we are not friends, I hope you have a fruitful life. That you and your girlfriend are happy together is all I ever wanted for you. I want you to be happy and successful. Even if that means our friendship is at an end. That’s okay. I will be okay. Because my heart belongs to God, and I believe in his everlasting love for me.

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To the Person That’s Been There Through it All

 

To the Person That’s Been There Through it All

To the Person That’s Been There Through it All

To the Person That’s Been There Through it All

Thank you

And thank you for caring

Thank you for sharing

And thank you for loving me

When I felt that no one ever could

 

Cared for Me When No One Else Could

You didn’t have to do any of those things

But for some odd reason, you did

You cared for me when no one else could

You shared with me to try to help me understand

And you loved me when I needed it the most

On top of all that you’ve treated me like your own

 

Helped Me Grow

You’ve helped me grow to understand who I am

And who to look to when I am in need

To search for Jesus first instead of the worst.

and to consider Him in mind with my choices first.

You’ve shown me what it feels like to be loved by choice

Not by obligation

 

I Love You

And I just wanted you to know that I thank you

And most importantly I love you.

 

Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is an American nonprofit organization founded in 1998. Focused on suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth, they offer a toll-free telephone number where confidential assistance is provided by trained counselors.

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