Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes

amor propio baby,

What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes

Life is like a glass pitcher from the 1960s—meant to hold lemonade, sun tea, or even flowers. From the moment we are born, we have a purpose, just as a pitcher is meant to hold liquid. As we grow, we fill that pitcher with our dreams, aspirations, and ideals. We pour into it our vision of the perfect career, the ideal family, the dream home, the car we long to drive, and the life we imagine for ourselves. Every hope and expectation fills the pitcher to the brim, reflecting the future we once envisioned. Here is a story of What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes.

But then, life happens. The pitcher slips from our hands, crashing to the floor, shattering into countless pieces. Our dreams scatter across the ground, and as we scramble to gather them, we cut ourselves on the shards of broken expectations. In that moment, we face a choice: sweep it all into the trash and discard our dreams, or painstakingly pick up the larger pieces and try to glue them back together.

Choosing the latter, we piece together our pitcher, carefully mending the cracks. To the naked eye, it may look almost whole again, a testament to our resilience. But as we begin to refill it with new dreams and experiences, the invisible fractures reveal themselves. Water seeps through the cracks, reminding us that no matter how hard we try, the pitcher will never hold liquid the way it once did.

This has been the story of my life. My dreams were grand—I wanted to be a veterinarian for farm animals, inspired by my father’s belief in my natural talent. I pursued that path, thinking it was the only way to make him proud. But in time, I realized he was proud of me simply for being his child. My true calling was to help people, though I didn’t have the words for it back then. It took 30 years for that dream to materialize.

I dreamed of a life on a farm, raising Angus cattle. Instead, I built a different kind of home. Marriage, too, took unexpected turns. He wanted one child; I wanted four. We compromised on three, ended up with five, and now we have seven. Parenting has been anything but perfect. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also learned the power of apologizing and acknowledging those missteps. I can’t undo the past, but I can ensure my children know they are loved, seen, and heard. I can’t force forgiveness, but I can model grace and understanding.

The dreams of my youth—riding a canary-yellow Harley, living in a spacious two-story house—evolved over time. I went from a sporty little car to a minivan, then an SUV. Our first home was a tiny 900-square-foot space, squeezing in seven people with a single bathroom. We moved several times before finally settling into a house we love—one we chose with our adult children in mind, a place where they would always feel welcome.

Is my family as close as I had envisioned? It depends on the season. Some relationships are stronger than others, and we all navigate misunderstandings and miscommunications. But we come together for holidays and gatherings, and I believe that, when it truly matters, we will show up for one another.

My pitcher will never hold water again. But rather than discard the broken pieces, I created something new. I took the shards—my pain, trauma, uncertainties, poor choices, regrets, and disappointments—and mourned the loss of what could have been. And then, God transformed those pieces into something beautiful. Like a mosaic, my life tells a different story than I once imagined, but it is still a masterpiece. Isaiah 61:3 speaks of beauty rising from ashes, and I have found that to be true. Even when life feels like it’s burning around me, when I take time for self-care, lean on those I trust, and embrace grace and forgiveness, I can see the beauty in the brokenness.

My story is still being written. My mosaic is still taking shape. And in its imperfection, it is more beautiful than I ever could have planned.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

You Can Always Begin Again

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

The Body Keeps the Score

circle of hope counseling services (7)

The Body Keeps the Score: How Unresolved Trauma Manifests Physically

We often think of trauma as something that exists only in the mind—something we can push down, lock away, and move past if we just “get over it.” But the truth is, trauma doesn’t just live in our thoughts; it takes root in our bodies. If left unresolved, it finds ways to make itself known—through chronic pain, fatigue, autoimmune disorders, digestive issues, migraines, and even seemingly unexplained physical symptoms. The body keeps the score, and it will keep sending signals until we listen.

How Trauma Affects the Body

When we experience trauma—whether it’s a single event or prolonged exposure to stress—our nervous system responds in a fight, flight, or freeze mode. This response is meant to protect us in the moment, but when trauma is not processed, our body remains on high alert long after the danger has passed. Over time, this prolonged stress response can lead to:

  • Muscle tension and chronic pain – Our bodies physically brace for impact, whether from past or future threats. This can result in tension headaches, neck and back pain, or even fibromyalgia.

  • Digestive issues – The gut and brain are deeply connected. Trauma can trigger irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), nausea, or appetite changes.

  • Autoimmune conditions – Chronic stress weakens the immune system, making it easier for the body to attack itself.

  • Exhaustion and fatigue – Trauma is draining. If the body is constantly in survival mode, it depletes energy levels, leaving people feeling exhausted no matter how much rest they get.

  • Heart problems – Anxiety, panic attacks, and prolonged stress can contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease.

Healing: Releasing Trauma from the Body

Healing from trauma isn’t just about mentally letting go—it’s about physically releasing it from the body. This often involves:

  • Forgiveness (of yourself and others) – Holding on to pain and resentment keeps the body in a stress response. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing harm, but it allows you to free yourself from the weight of it.

  • Therapy and Somatic Work – Traditional talk therapy is powerful, but sometimes the body needs more. Somatic therapy, EMDR, yoga, breathwork, and other body-based approaches can help release stored trauma.

  • Movement – Trauma often gets stuck in the body, and movement helps release it. Whether through exercise, dance, stretching, or even shaking, physical activity helps reset the nervous system.

  • Mindfulness and Meditation – Practices like meditation, deep breathing, and grounding techniques help calm the body and bring it back to a place of safety.

  • Seeking Support – Trauma healing is not meant to be done alone. Community, counseling, and safe relationships help the body feel secure and supported.

Your Body Deserves Healing

If you’ve ever felt like your body was betraying you with pain, illness, or exhaustion, consider that it may actually be trying to protect you. Trauma that isn’t addressed will keep showing up until it is acknowledged, processed, and released. You deserve healing—not just in your mind, but in your entire being.

The body keeps the score, but you have the power to rewrite the story.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

You Don’t Need To…

The Body Keeps the Score

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

circle of hope counseling services (2)

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Scars tell stories. Some are visible, etched into our skin as reminders of battles fought and wounds healed. Others, though, remain hidden as they carve deep into our hearts and minds, shaping us in ways the world cannot see but are just as real.

The Weight of Invisible Wounds

Emotional and psychological scars often go unnoticed. There’s no cast for a broken spirit, no stitches for a wounded heart. Trauma, grief, anxiety, and depression—these struggles don’t always show on the outside, but they shape us just the same.

The hardest part? Others may not understand. It’s easy to offer sympathy for a physical injury. However, invisible scars often come with judgment, doubt, or well-meaning but dismissive comments like “Just move on” or “It’s all in your head.” But pain doesn’t have to be visible to be valid.

Healing Takes Time

Just like physical wounds, emotional scars need time to heal. Healing doesn’t follow a straight path; instead, it moves through ups and downs. Some days, you feel strong, and on other days, the past creeps back in. That’s okay. True healing isn’t about forgetting what hurt you—it’s about learning to live beyond the pain and finding ways to move forward.

How to Care for the Unseen Wounds

Acknowledge Your Pain – Your feelings are real and deserve space. Recognizing and accepting them is the first step toward healing. ✔ Speak Your Truth – Whether through therapy, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend, expressing your emotions can be powerful and cathartic. ✔ Set Boundaries – Protect your peace. It’s okay to walk away from toxic environments and relationships that no longer serve you. ✔ Practice Self-Compassion – You are not your trauma. Therefore, be gentle with yourself and give yourself the grace to heal. ✔ Seek Support – You don’t have to carry this alone. There is strength in reaching out, and there are people who want to help.

You Are Not Alone

If you carry invisible scars, know this: You are seen. You are valued. Your pain matters. Healing is possible, and you are worthy of it.

Scars, visible or not, are proof of survival. And you? You are still here. You are still fighting and you are still standing. That is strength, resilience, and that is something to be proud of.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Stop Silent Start Talking

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

How to Separate the Good Mom from the Bad Mom

How to Separate the Good Mom from the Bad Mom

My guest blogger writes a letter to her mom. She is working through How to Separate the Good Mom from the Bad Mom. Her path of healing has been long and arduous. She is wading through the good memories and the bad. Right now, sadly, bad memories are more prevalent. I pray that one day, she will remember the good memories she had with her mom. Somehow, someway, it makes the bad memories more bearable.

How to Separate the Good Mom from the Bad Mom

My Dearest Mother,

My Dearest Mother, you have caused me so much pain for the past ten years. I cannot count how many times I have laid in bed at night and cried because of you. Sadly, I have cried because I was not good enough for you. I have cried because, at times, I have needed you most, but you were not here. Also, I have cried because I cannot call you when I have had a hard day at work or school. It is frustrating that you are so thickheaded that you cannot see what you did wrong. I have written you numerous letters hoping they would somehow reach you and you would come to your senses. 

Spoiler alert, you have not. 

For years, I walked on eggshells to ensure I did not hurt your feelings. At this point, I do not care. I am fed up with the lies you feed everyone. Imagine saying that your eleven-year-old daughter made up a story about how you locked your sick son up in his bedroom and would not give him food. Like, I did not just wake up one day and say, ‘Hm, I think I want to make up this lie and make my mom look bad today.’ Imagine trying to blame you and your husband’s actions on CHILDREN. Honestly, I have not asked you for much, just for you to admit what you did and apologize. 

I know that is something I will never get. 

Once, you told me you were raising us how you wanted to be treated. That does not make sense to me. Who wants to be sexually abused by their stepfather for years? Because I certainly did not. I did not want him to watch me every time I took a shower. Also, I did not want him to watch me get dressed. I did not want him to put his hand on my butt whenever I stood remotely close to him.

Furthermore, I did not want him to take my sister and me to the garage that day and assault us. I did not wish for all this trauma you gave me. All I wanted was a mother. 

At this point

 I do not even wonder what my life would be like had you not met my stepdad because it tends to hurt my feelings. Why wasn’t I good enough for you? Honestly, why? Why? Just why? I have so many questions for you, and I know I will not get a single answer. All I want is a mom. Someone to look out for me, give me advice, and most importantly, I want to experience a mother’s love. 

Every night, when I pray, I pray that I am not like you. I pray that I never cause my children pain. Also, I pray that my kids will NEVER lay in bed at night crying because they feel I do not love them. I will be nothing like you, and that is a promise. Maybe you will come to your senses one day, but that is doubtful.

Best Regards,

Your Daughter

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Will Never Be the Same

I Will Never Be the Same

 

Continued Story

My sweet friend is continuing to write her story.  She is showing so much of herself each time she writes.  In I Will Never Be the Same, she talks about disclosing to a family member.  This family member did the unthinkable.  They chose the abuser over the young girl.

I Don’t Know What is Worse

You believing what I said was true

Or wanting to sweep it under the rug.

How did you not know what was going on?

I remember one time it happened in the middle of the dining room.

Right by the sunroom you always sat in.

Reaction

Yet you act surprised when they came and got him.

Were you really oblivious or did you just not care?

The things that were done to me changed me forever.

I Will Never Be the Same

I grew up to hate myself.

How am I supposed to love others if all I know is hate?

All I know is that you hated me for some reason.

You must have wanted no one to care.

To make me feel like all you cared about was yourself…

Or worse just him.

The Great Pretender

Even after all the things he did, all you did was pretend.

Pretend it didn’t happen, pretend it didn’t matter.

Your choice to choose him ruined any chance of a relationship with me.

It messed up the relationship you had with your daughter,

Yet you still didn’t care about it.

Out of seven children all, you care about it the one.

Too bad you chose the crappy son.

Liar

The one that likes to lie to everyone.

He lied to you about everything.

And he told YOU that he was sorry.

He told YOU that he had changed.

But in reality, he is not who you make him out to be.

What He Could Have Done

If he was, he would have apologized to Me.

Or at least to his sister and his FAMILY.

All he did was manipulate.

So I hope it was worth it for you.

I hope the loss of a relationship with your grandchild and

the loss of a good standing relationship with a daughter

Is what you can live with for your decisions.

Even Now

Even now when you’re old and confused,

You know deep down you made the wrong excuse.

To choose the one person who ended a whole family with one decision.

I hope one day I’ll forgive you.

For all the things you’ve done.

And not just this one.

But until then you can stay there.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Suicide has been a thread woven through my life, though I didn’t fully understand it until I was older. As a child, I saw sadness and knew that people had passed away, but the gravity of it escaped me. The word itself was foreign to me until I was about ten years old. Even then, it wasn’t until I was fourteen and experienced my grandfather’s passing that I began to comprehend the depth of loss and what death truly meant.

Sharing Stories, Spreading Awareness

Throughout this month, in honor of Suicide Prevention Awareness, I have shared stories from people I know and love—people who have allowed me to be part of the chapter God is writing in their lives. Writing and sharing these stories has not been easy, but I know that their pain has purpose. Their words may be the light that someone else needs to seek help. Healing is found on the other side of brokenness, and their courage in sharing their journey could be the very thing that saves another person.

The Weight of Heartache

Hearing these stories and knowing what these people have endured breaks my heart. I long for Jesus to return and erase the pain, the hurt, the abuse. He will come, like a thief in the night, not when I wish but in His perfect timing. I rest in the promise that He can bring good from even the most tragic circumstances. Though He does not ordain suffering, He allows it, and He will use it for His glory.

My First Encounter with Suicide

I was about ten years old when I first brushed up against the concept of suicide. A young man, a friend of our family, loved riding horses. One day, I had been thrown off our pony—a creature no bigger than a large dog—and lay on the ground, terrified and breathless. He watched from the sidelines, his leg encased in a cast up to his thigh.

Rather than standing idly by, he tossed aside his crutches, mounted the horse with ease, and calmed her down. Then, he turned to me with a look of determination and told me to get back on. I was hesitant, but he wouldn’t let me walk away in fear. With his encouragement, I got back on that horse, and from that moment, I was no longer afraid.

Then, one day, he was gone. Whispers filled the air. Quiet conversations. Crying. I didn’t understand what had happened. No one spoke openly about it, but the silence was deafening. Now, looking back, I know the truth. He had taken his own life.

Another Loss, Another Whisper

Not long after, another family friend was suddenly absent. Again, hushed whispers, tears, and a heavy sadness hung over those I loved. The word ‘suicide’ was still never spoken, but now, as an adult, I recognize what it was.

A Decade Later, A Shattering Loss

Years later, I lost another dear friend. This time, I was old enough to understand. He was loved by so many, incredibly talented, and his passing shook me to my core. The pain of suicide is unnatural and unbearable. Parents should never have to bury their child, no matter their age, and yet, so many do. The grief and unanswered questions linger forever.

When It Hits Close to Home

One of my closest friends, whom I met through a Christian group, has fought battles that few could understand. She has struggled with feelings of worthlessness and despair, but through God’s grace, she is still here. I thank the Lord every day that her attempts were not successful—He knew she was needed, loved, and still had a purpose.

Sadly, she was not the only one in her family to face this darkness. I remember the day she messaged me, telling me her sister had died by suicide. The pain in her words still echoes in my heart. She continues to light candles in her sister’s memory and speaks out about suicide awareness, hoping to spare another family from enduring the same devastation.

Breaking the Cycle

The hole left by suicide never fully heals. It is a generational curse that can be broken, but it takes action. If you are struggling, please seek help. Talk to someone. Start therapy. Consider medication. Reach out to a friend. You are not alone. You are loved.

Your life matters, and there is hope.

Please, if you or someone you love is struggling, don’t wait. There is help available. Reach out today. You are worth it.

 Related Posts

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Promised Suicide

Promised Suicide

Promised Suicide

 

TRIGGERING POST In the story of Promised Suicide, a young woman shares how the generational curse has affected her life. Promised Suicide is a very personal story. It is heartbreaking what she has endured and continues to endure the battle of her mind. Tomorrow, she will talk about where she is now in life and how her beginning was trying to dictate her future, but then there was God.

As a child:

I always promised myself that I would never be like you,

Never leave my family feeling unloved,

I would never drink to be drunk,

Never medicate myself,

I would never lay in the bed for weeks at a time,

Never do anything to harm myself.

And yet, as an adult:

I’ve made everyone I love feel hated,

Drunk because I’m sad,

I’ve thought about taking too many of my own pills,

Laid in the bed for weeks at a time,

I’ve cut and carved things into my skin.

As a child:

I didn’t realize what it was like to feel Alone, Unloved, Insignificant,

All I knew was that my mother didn’t care,

My mother hated me,

She didn’t want to spend time with me.

My mother hated herself,

And most of all, my mother wanted to die.

As an adult:

I don’t care,

In fact, I hate myself,

I don’t want to spend time with anyone,

I wanted to die.

All because I feel Unlovable, Alone, and Insignificant.

I wonder if there is any connection between what I saw as a child and why I am the way I am.

Did I learn to handle life the way I have?

I mean, it would be way easier for me to blame you.

You were the one that raised me,

Or was it the other way around?

What did you expect out of me when you let me take care of you.

Did you expect me to be normal; After all the things I’ve been through?

After flushing away the last pills, you didn’t take,

Picking up the blades you tried to use to take your life away,

After scrubbing your blood off of the floor and then putting everything back in place.

But no, I can’t blame this on you. I chose to do it too,

I chose to pick up that knife

Chose to make the plan

I am responsible for my actions

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline