Tag: Inner Peace

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

What Are You Carrying That Isn’t Yours?

barefootfaithjourney

What Are You Carrying That Isn’t Yours?

What Are You Carrying That Isn’t Yours?

There’s a kind of heaviness that doesn’t come from your own life but from everyone else’s.

It creeps in subtly, disguised as love, loyalty, or responsibility. And before you know it, you’re carrying the emotional weight of other people’s pain, choices, reactions, and expectations almost as if they were your own.

False Responsibility Feels Like…

  • “If I don’t fix it, everything will fall apart.”

  • “It must be my fault, if they’re upset.”

  • “I can’t rest. What if they need me?”

  • “It’s my job to hold everyone together.”

Sound familiar?

It’s not selfish to acknowledge this. It’s wise. And it’s often the first step in healing.

Emotional Load ≠ Emotional Love

We were never created to be the savior of anyone’s story. That role has already been filled.

Carrying what isn’t ours can feel noble, even Christ-like. But Jesus never asked us to carry other people’s control, consequences, or chaos. He asked us to love—not absorb.

“For each one should carry their own load.”
—Galatians 6:5

There’s a difference between helping and hijacking. Between being present and being responsible for someone else’s emotions.

How to Know If It’s Yours to Carry

Ask yourself:

  • Did God assign me this, or did I pick it up to please someone?

  • Is this drawing me closer to peace or further into pressure?

  • Am I trying to control something that isn’t mine to manage?

You are allowed to drop what doesn’t belong to you. You are allowed to say:

“This is not mine to carry.”

The Gift of Emotional Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re doors with locks. They allow what nourishes you to enter and what harms you to stay out.

When you stop carrying everyone else’s weight, something beautiful happens:

You begin to feel lighter.
And you begin to heal.
You begin to come back to you.

And that’s exactly where you’re meant to be.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you. We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only). You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Silence with a Side of Stirring

Brandi C

Silence with a Side of Stirring

There is so much I want to say, yet I remain silent, paralyzed by fears of judgment, isolation, and retaliation. It’s important to understand that just because someone is quiet doesn’t mean they’re ignorant, apathetic, or unintelligent. Silence does not equal a lack of depth or thought. Here is my Silence with a Side of Stirring.

In this season, as the new year unfolds, I’ve been diving into books. Stories of resilience, trauma, healing, and making peace with the past have filled my reading list. There’s something deeply moving about witnessing strength in the face of unimaginable adversity. I’ve only finished a couple of books but have started a few more. My goal is to finish what I’ve started and continue working through the ever-growing collection.

Processing the thoughts swirling in my mind has become a quiet but persistent focus. Questions, comments, and statements linger, and the books I read offer insight into many of them. Yet, some things still require reflection and time before I can fully understand them.

A quote I stumbled upon recently hit me hard: “A history of trauma will have you mistaking peace for boredom.” That resonates deeply. Life has shifted from constant noise and chaos to a strange and unfamiliar quiet. For so long, the background hum of busyness, conversation, and laughter defined my world. Now, in this quieter season, I find myself unsure of how to exist in the stillness.

The quieter moments have brought realizations I wasn’t prepared for. I’ve lived in a constant state of stress for years, and now, as things settle, emotions I had pushed aside are surfacing. I find myself breaking into tears at unexpected times, my body seemingly releasing years of built-up tension. Healing is happening, though it feels strange and unsettling.

Peace vs. Boredom

Webster’s Dictionary defines peace as “a state of tranquility or quiet, freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions, harmony in personal relations.” Boredom, on the other hand, is “the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.” What I once mistook for boredom is actually peace. I am not restless or lacking interest; I’m simply in a season without crisis. It feels foreign, but it is necessary.

For years, my days were defined by putting out fires—both figurative and literal. The constant state of fight-or-flight dictated my every move. But now, there are fewer fires. Fewer emergencies. Less chaos. And I find myself wondering, Now what?

Adjusting to this new rhythm of life is a journey. It means learning how to exist without the constant need to fix, manage, or anticipate disaster. It means understanding that rest is not laziness, and peace is not a void that needs to be filled.

What I Can and Cannot Control

One of the hardest lessons has been realizing that I cannot control others—their words, actions, or perceptions. I can, however, control how I respond. When something feels “off,” I can seek clarity rather than assume. I can choose peace over engaging in unnecessary battles.

People will believe what they want, sometimes without ever stopping to ask, “Does this truly reflect the person I’ve known?” If the answer doesn’t align, the solution is simple—use words, communicate directly, and seek truth.

There’s so much more I could say, but for now, I rest in knowing that peace is not something to fear. This season of quiet reflection, healing, and growth is exactly where I am meant to be.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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How to Live Life

Brandi C

How to Live Life

Live Life Like It’s Always Spring: Renewed and Refreshed

Spring is a season of renewal, a time when the world awakens from the quiet slumber of winter. Flowers bloom, trees bud, and the air is filled with the promise of new beginnings. What if we chose to live our lives as if it were always spring—embracing renewal, growth, and a fresh start every day?

Embracing a Renewed Mindset

Spring is a reminder that no matter how harsh the winter, new life will emerge. We, too, can adopt this mindset in our daily lives. Let go of past failures, regrets, and worries. Each morning is a fresh opportunity to grow, to learn, and to thrive. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what can go right.

Renewal starts with perspective. Just as nature sheds the old to make way for the new, we must release what no longer serves us. Forgive, heal, and allow yourself the grace to move forward.

Refreshing Your Soul

Spring refreshes the earth with rain and sunshine, washing away the cold remnants of winter. In the same way, our souls need refreshment. Seek out what fills you with joy and peace. Whether it’s a quiet moment with God, a walk in nature, or time spent with loved ones, make space for what renews your spirit.

Let gratitude be your rain—nourishing your heart and mind. When we focus on the blessings around us, life feels lighter and more vibrant. A thankful heart is a refreshed heart.

Growing into Your Best Self

Flowers don’t rush their bloom—they grow steadily, reaching for the sun. We, too, are meant to grow at our own pace. Personal growth takes time, patience, and nurturing. Invest in yourself, develop your passions, and surround yourself with people who encourage your journey.

Allow yourself to embrace change rather than fear it. Just as the seasons transition seamlessly, we can trust that growth and transformation are part of life’s design.

Living with an Open Heart

Spring invites us to open our windows, breathe in fresh air, and embrace the beauty around us. Live life with that same openness. Love freely, give generously, and approach each day with curiosity and wonder. When we live with open hearts, we create space for joy, connection, and new possibilities.

Steps to Keep Spring in Your Life Year-Round

  1. Start Fresh Daily – Each day is a new beginning. Leave yesterday behind and embrace today.
  2. Seek Renewal – Find what refreshes your soul and make time for it.
  3. Cultivate Gratitude – Focus on the beauty around you and the blessings in your life.
  4. Grow with Grace – Allow yourself to evolve without pressure or comparison.
  5. Live with Open Arms – Be open to love, kindness, and new opportunities.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

No matter the season, you have the power to bring renewal and refreshment into your life. Live each day like it’s spring—full of hope, new possibilities, and a heart ready to bloom.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Be Unapologetically You

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services (6)

Be Unapologetically You

The world will always have opinions about who you should be, how you should act, and what path you should take. But here’s the truth—you are not here to meet someone else’s expectations. Instead, you are here to be fully, unapologetically, and authentically yourself.

Embracing Who You Are

Being yourself doesn’t mean being reckless or unkind. Rather, it means standing firm in your values, embracing your quirks, and refusing to shrink yourself for the comfort of others. You were not created to fit inside someone else’s mold; instead, you were made to be exactly who you are.

Grace and Dignity in Authenticity

Some may think that being unapologetically yourself means being harsh or dismissive. However, the key is to carry yourself with grace and dignity. You don’t have to argue for your worth, nor do you have to prove anything to anyone. Instead, you walk in confidence, knowing that those meant to be in your life will love and respect you as you are.

The Power of Boundaries

✔ Know Your Worth – You do not need external validation to confirm your value. Instead, trust in yourself. ✔ Set Healthy Boundaries – It’s okay to say no. In fact, protecting your peace is essential. ✔ Surround Yourself with Supportive People – Choose relationships that encourage and uplift you, rather than those that drain your energy. ✔ Let Go of People-Pleasing – You will never make everyone happy, and that’s okay. More importantly, you deserve to prioritize your own happiness. ✔ Love Yourself Fiercely – Speak to yourself with kindness and appreciation, just as you would to a dear friend.

Other People’s Opinions Are Not Your Problem

What others think of you is a reflection of them, not you. If someone has an issue with who you are, that’s their burden to carry—not yours. Rather than worrying about their judgment, focus on living in alignment with your truth. You are not responsible for making yourself smaller so others feel comfortable.

Live Boldly, Love Yourself

Be unapologetically you. Show up in this world with confidence, love yourself without hesitation, and set the boundaries that protect your peace. Ultimately, those who are meant to be in your life will celebrate you for exactly who you are. And those who can’t? Let them go with grace.

You are enough—just as you are.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services

Emotional Self-Care: Tending to Your Heart and Mind

Life can be overwhelming, and in the midst of caring for everyone else, we often forget to take care of ourselves—especially when it comes to our emotions. Emotional self-care is just as vital as physical self-care. It helps us process feelings, release stress, and nurture our well-being. If you’re feeling drained, here are some simple yet powerful ways to tend to your emotional health. Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind is also imperative to your overall health.

1. Watch a Funny Movie

Laughter truly is medicine for the soul. Whether it’s a classic comedy, a stand-up special, or a silly sitcom, laughter releases endorphins—the brain’s natural feel-good chemicals. Give yourself permission to escape reality for a bit and enjoy something lighthearted. Your heart will thank you!

2. Express Your Feelings

Holding in emotions can be exhausting. Whether you prefer journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or creating art, finding an outlet to express your emotions is essential. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they just build up. Let them out in a healthy way and lighten your emotional load.

3. Smile More

Even when you don’t feel like it, smiling can shift your mood. Research suggests that the simple act of smiling—yes, even a forced smile—can trick your brain into feeling happier. Try it in the mirror, share a smile with a stranger, or reflect on a joyful memory. Small moments of happiness add up!

4. Cry It Out

Crying is not a sign of weakness—it’s a natural and healthy release. Tears help process deep emotions, reduce stress, and even remove toxins from the body. If you feel the tears coming, let them flow. There’s healing in allowing yourself to fully feel and release what’s weighing on your heart.

5. Prioritize Rest and Relaxation

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your emotional well-being is simply to rest. Whether it’s getting a good night’s sleep, taking a nap, or just pausing for a moment of stillness, your emotions need downtime too. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people and environments we engage with have a profound impact on our emotions. Seek out supportive, uplifting relationships. Engage in activities that bring joy and peace. If something is draining you, it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your emotional energy.

7. Practice Gratitude

Focusing on what we’re thankful for can shift our perspective and elevate our mood. Try keeping a gratitude journal or simply reflecting on three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude helps reframe challenges and reminds us of the beauty in our lives.

Your emotions matter. Taking time to nurture your heart and mind is not selfish—it’s necessary. The more you care for yourself emotionally, the better equipped you’ll be to show up for those around you. So, go ahead—laugh, cry, smile, rest, and express yourself freely. You deserve it!

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Why Am I Feeling Anxious?

Brandi C

@reallygreatsite

Why Am I Feeling Anxious?

So, we am I feeling anxious? Leave comments below for why you are experiencing anxiety. Anxiety has a way of sneaking in, sometimes without warning. One minute, you’re going about your day, and the next, your heart is racing, your thoughts are spiraling, and a sense of unease settles in. But why? Why do we feel anxious, especially when we can’t pinpoint a specific reason?

Anxiety is our body’s built-in alarm system, designed to protect us from danger. The problem? Our brains don’t always distinguish between real threats and perceived ones. Stress, past trauma, exhaustion, or even an upcoming event can trigger the same fight-or-flight response as an actual emergency.

You might be feeling anxious because:

  • You’re overwhelmed. Life’s demands can pile up quickly, making it feel impossible to keep up.
  • You’re carrying unprocessed emotions. Grief, fear, or unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety.
  • You’re overstimulated. Too much noise, social media, or even caffeine can heighten anxiety levels.
  • Your body is reacting. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, or hormonal changes can contribute to anxious feelings.
  • You’re fearing the unknown. Uncertainty about the future can trigger anxiety, even if nothing is immediately wrong.

So, what can you do? First, breathe. Ground yourself in the present moment. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid but not always reflective of reality. Talk to someone you trust, journal your thoughts, or engage in an activity that brings you peace.

If anxiety is persistent or overwhelming, seeking professional support can help. You are not weak for feeling this way. You are human. And you are not alone.

Anxiety may whisper fear, but hope speaks louder. Keep going.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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What is and is Not in My Control

Brandi C

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control. I am a work in progress. Without hesitation, I can tell you that trying to control everything is 99.9% of my problem. Well, that and lack of trusting anyone…maybe that goes hand in hand, I don’t know. It’s a problem. I know that, get it, and respect it. There is a problem, and I am it.

What is IN My Control

  • my self-care
    • I get my hair done
    • Massages
    • Tattoos
    • Alone time at night
    • Reading
  • asking for help
    • Reaching out to family
    • Communicating with my husband and being vulnerable
    • Therapy
  • my decision
  • the friends I have
    • I don’t do this one well
  • my actions
    • I have apologized to those I need to
    • Forgiven most people, I need to
    • The Lord has made me HYPER aware
  • my boundaries
    • Hahahahaha
  • my thoughts
    • Oohhh…
  • my attitude
    • Well…
  • my words
    • Uhmmm…
  • what I say
    • Learning how to use them
    • Learning how to RESTRAIN from using them
    • Work in progress

OUT of My Control

  • who likes me
  • past mistakes
  • other’s feelings
  • what others think
  • other’s apologizing to me
  • other’s actions
  • what other people believe
  • weather
  • who loves me
  • other people’s time
  • someone else’s distraction

What is on Your List?

My struggle in the “out of my control” list is who likes me (why does this bother me so badly), past mistakes (I can’t forget), what others think of me, others’ actions, what other people believe, and who loves me. Those are my Achilles heel problems. What is on your list?

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Guest Blogger

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself

Brandi C

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself

To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself

 

We are all walking our paths, and the road to healing isn’t always easy. We all need to remember that to help others, we must first ensure that we are maintaining our light and keeping ourselves mentally sound. In other words, To Care for Others, First Care for Yourself. Here are some tips for keeping your mental energy in the right spectrum and walking the path of healing as we move into 2021:

Heal your mind.

Mental health and self-care practices are two sides of the same coin. Numerous studies and research indicate the connection between self-care and mental health. Self-care is the act of increasing self-awareness, which includes cognitive processes. Practicing self-care can then help you recognize your emotional patterns. This means that when you become more self-aware, you can avoid the things that make you feel bad and recognize the things that make you feel more relaxed or calm, so you seek those things out.

Another way to take that step toward healing your mind is to assess your goals and how you can accomplish them. Focusing on the result of your mental health journey can be helpful, especially if you break the journey into smaller steps that you can surmount.

Heal your sleep.

Sleep is a massive part of your physical health, but it can help you maintain a mental balance, so striving to get an entire sleep cycle every night should be included in your self-care routine.

Cultivating a space conducive to good, quality rest is essential to creating a healthy sleep schedule. It will help if you transform your bedroom into a sleep-inducing space by using comfortable sheets and pillows, avoiding light disruption, and keeping the noise down. In addition, starting a pre-sleep routine (e.g., having nighttime tea, reading a book, dimming the lights, etc.) can help signal your body that it’s time to rest.

Heal your body.

Mental and physical health is inextricably linked. Eating healthy foods as part of a well-balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, and exercising are all ways to get your physical health in the right place — and they all provide a crucial component of mental health. Practicing good eating habits and a regular daily exercise regimen is part of self-care.

Heal your home.

An integral part of self-care is the maintenance of the environment around you. Creating a sanctuary out of your home is essential to finding inner peace and re-calibrating, even when the world seems unwelcoming.

Creating a positive atmosphere at home is essential in the healing process. Decluttering, cleaning, and letting fresh air into your home can help you make the kind of sanctuary that will go a long way toward getting your mental energy in the right place.

There is a connection between clutter and the stress hormone, Cortisol. In other words, when your space is too messy, negative thoughts can spike. So keeping your area clean and clutter-free contributes to the positive vibes you need.

Heal your connections.

Staying in touch with the people you love most is also a form of self-care, especially for families. Spending quality time with family strengthens bonds and helps keep you connected, even when it takes place virtually. The most significant part of maintaining close connections comes from making friends and family a priority and putting time and energy into those relationships.

Focus on you to focus on others.

Use these healing tips to emphasize self-care and your mental health journey. Once you are healthy and whole, you can turn your attention to others who may need help in this area.

For more faith-based, family-centric content, visit barefootfaithjourney.com.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Healing Through Anger

Brandi C

Healing Through Anger

 

Healing Through Anger

In this piece, my guest blogger talks about how she is healing through anger. Anger is a valid emotion, as Jesus was angry when He turned over the tables in the temple. Anger is secondary to fear and/or sadness. In this piece, you can see her fear. Also, you can feel her sadness. Please pray for this young girl as you think of it.

I Am So Angry With You

I have said it a million times, but I am so angry with you. If I were in the business of hating people, you would be first on my list. The thought of you makes my blood pressure skyrocket. Why couldn’t you be a normal stepfather? Seriously, why did you have to abuse me? Why me? I was a child. What kind of man likes children? 

I wish my mom would have never met you. Honestly, I wish I did not blame myself for what you did. I know I was young, and it was not my fault. It’s yours. You are the one who abused me, not the other way around.

Tell the Truth

I have had a few opportunities to tell you the truth, to say whatever I wanted to you, but I did not. Part of me wishes I would not have been such a coward. I want you to know how much you hurt me. The other part of me knows that what I said would not matter; you would not care. You would enjoy the attention; you always like all the attention on you.

What I Want to SCREAM

I want to scream at you and tell you that you hurt me. Also, I want to tell you that you traumatized me. I want to tell you how I cannot even change clothes in the comfort of my own home without feeling uncomfortable or like I am being watched. To yell that you took my childhood and my innocence away from me. That is something I will never get back. I cannot go back and act like a child again. Not all of that is your fault, but a big piece of it is.

I am never a violent person, but I would like to punch you in the face after a few good times. I bet that would help me release some of my anger. That sure would make me feel better. I do not understand how you can have four types of cancers and still be alive. I guess that is just how my life goes.

Papa T is Crossing the Line

I heard a phrase today that I had not heard in a long time. A phrase that makes me nauseous. “Daddy T,” I never understood why you made us call you that. Mom does not understand why that name makes me uncomfortable; honestly, I don’t completely understand it myself. All I know is the name makes me physically sick. My sister told me today that you want her daughter to call you “Papa T,” It incited some rage in me. 

Yet, That Baby is Safe From You

Luckily that baby lives far away now, so you cannot get your hands on her. I could promise you that you would never meet her if she were still around. I would go to jail before that happened, and I would be okay with it. You will never get the satisfaction of her calling you “papa T,” which I feel is WAY too close to “Daddy T.” 

You will never get the satisfaction of taking that baby’s innocence away from her, which brings me just a little bit of you. Your abuse ended with me, and I will do everything I can to ensure it goes no further.

Working on Forgiveness

I know it does not sound like it, but I am trying to forgive you. It is just a slow process. The thing is, I am not forgiving you for you. I am doing this for me. To heal. I am doing it to put you in the past and finally move on. To better myself and be the best person I can be. I know, in the end, you will get what you deserve, and I will not even have to lift a finger.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Misery Loves Company

Brandi C

Misery Loves Company

Misery Loves Company

Misery loves company they say

But is it the misery the person wants to share

Or are they looking to someone for help?

But instead, bring them down too

Is the misery more infectious than the need for help?

Or does the person just not want it enough

Personally, I think I would rather suffer alone

Then to bring a friend down with me

I don’t want my friends and family to feel like this

I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like this

Like the whole world is sitting on my shoulders

just waiting for them to make the wrong move.

Just Waiting

Waiting for them to slip

Waiting for them to pull someone in

Waiting for them to not be alone

So they will share the misery

I don’t want to be infectious with hate

I don’t want to put bad things in people’s mind

I’d much rather put in light and love

But where can I start

To get back to that person

That everyone loved to be around

The person that was infectious to laughter

The person that loved others and at least liked herself

I guess I should start at the beginning again

And try to learn a new way of dealing with my sin

Instead of storing it away and letting it fester

I need to let it go and pray that it will work out in the end

Because I’d much rather love myself and help others

Then hate myself and essentially drown them

I don’t want to feed them the lies that I believe

That I’m not good enough

That I’m not worthy

Because we are good enough

We are all worthy of love

And not the misery.

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